by Alan Spencer
"So how did this guy die, mister coroner? And don't throw any Greek salads my way. I talk in facts, not equations."
The coroner and the sheriff weren't shown standing together. The coroner was clearly in another room when the scene was shot.
"Sheriff, it's clear this guy died from having his left eye sucked out of his head with this very high-powered vacuum cleaner."
The coroner pointed at the floor.
Another completely different shot showed a vacuum cleaner with the words painted on the side of it: Super Suck 1000.
"We'll have to check the filter. I bet you my pension you'll find this stiff's eyeball inside."
The shot pans to a super close-up of the sheriff's face. The sheriff's eyes are looking right at the camera. "At least it wasn't the poor son-of-a-bitch's pecker the killer sucked off."
Brian playfully punched Dan's arm. He whispered, "I can't believe we wrote that shit. Listen to these people. We're busting them up."
The scene with Chucky Bennett was coming, Dan realized. The portly guy had died of a heart attack only two years after shooting the movie.
In the scene, the killer is aiming a gun at the truck driver. The truck driver realizes he picked up the wrong hitchhiker.
The killer, "Stick your fist in your mouth."
"What?"
"Stick your fist in your mouth, you holiday ham. Do it, or I blow your head off. Now, ham, now!"
The truck driver put his hand in his mouth. The killer punches the man under the chin, and a big fake crunch sound follows. A fake hand stump spurts blood. The trucker spits out fingers and bones.
Dan enjoyed the rise from the audience.
The scene at Prudence High School's main entrance came next. It showed six adults posing as high schoolers wearing back packs with their hats turned backwards staring at the words written in blood on the main window.
BLOODY MASK IS BACK.
The sheriff, without pulling up in a squad car, comes onto the scene. He tells the kids to go to class. The sheriff talked into a small ring box painted black. "Base, this is Sheriff Banfield. Get us the coroner. I want samples of this blood smeared on the windows."
The principal, who was actually Brian's dad, asked the sheriff, "Is this the work of Eddie Waters?"
"Don't say that so loud. Eddie Waters is dead."
"But I saw him the other day. He was wearing that mask. You remember that night, don't you? When we buried him, his mask disappeared. Somehow, that mask escaped the grave."
"You're talking nonsense. I talk in apples in oranges, not bull and shit."
Dan saw Andy mouth those last lines, "I talk in apples and oranges, not bull and shit."
-"My eyes, my eyes! That bastard cut out my eyes and replaced them with rotten cow's eyes."
The kids in class pointed at their teacher, Mrs. Nevens, as earthworms leaked down her cheeks.
The kids: "Jesus, she's crying worms! What do we do?"
Another new scene showed an elderly woman, Brian's aunt, who had since passed away post-shooting, walk down into a basement. The basement was his aunt's actual basement, which included a tall wooden shelf of fruit and food preserves.
The killer stood in front of the shelf, pointing at the shelves. "I've been busy. Your nephew, that idiot sheriff, thinks he can stop me. I'll show him. Do you know what's in these jars? Your husband and your dog!"
Up close shots panned to jars filled with fake eyes, blood, ground chuck, and a dog's paw.
The woman fell over, clutching her heart.
"What's wrong, bitch? Faint of heart?"
Dan threw back a big mouthful of beer. He was starting to feel proud of his movie. It was nice not to feel shame, for once.
The sheriff, the high school principal, and the governor were all digging up a hole in the woods. They happened upon a set of clothed bones deep down in the earth.
The sheriff smiled. "You see, he's dead. Eddie's in the ground."
"Where's that mask? It's the mask. The mask is possessed," Dan's father said with little affectation. "The mask is taking revenge on us for what we did."
The governor, Dan's next door neighbor dressed in a black suit, said, "If Eddie would've just minded his business. So we like whores? So what? Eddie was going to tell everybody and ruin our reputations. So what if we like whores? We can still run a town. It's not like I sign bills with my pecker."
"All our families and friends are in trouble," the sheriff said, "and until we destroy that mask, we're in for one big bloodbath."
After the final cave scene and the mask floating down the stream, the credits rolled. Everybody clapped and cheered. Andy waved for Dan and Brian to walk up to the head of the room.
Andy's face was delighted. "How about a speech from the director?"
Dan and Brian thanked everybody in the room for attending the showing. Dan thanked Andy and Cult Crushers.
"I also owe every actor, extra, friend, and individual who had anything at all to do with making this film happen a hearty thanks. We had very little money to shoot a big picture. I owe the biggest thanks to Brian, for one, being my best friend, but for two, always believing in the project. I haven't met someone with so much enthusiasm for making a horror movie.
"I mean, let's face it. We didn't make Citizen Kane here. This is shot-on-video horror with stupid dialogue, no real cinematography, or skill. I didn't go to film school. You say this movie is only getting attention because it's so bad it's good, right? And after tonight, I'm okay with that. But it's fans like you who make Brian and I feel like we did something important here. Maybe it's unintentional, and it's entertaining for all the wrong reasons, but as long as it's entertaining period, I guess we accomplished something. But face it, this movie's a turd bomb, and it's our turd bomb."
After Dan's speech, Brian said a few words about friendship and how hard it is to make a movie. That finalized things. Andy was packing up his things, and the actors, their friends, and fans chatted with Dan and Brian for three hours. It was two in the morning before Brian drove them to his house in the van. Andy was heading to his hotel, but he promised to stop by in the morning to say goodbye before he hit the road.
Dan looked at Brian as he drove the van. Brian was tired around the eyes, but there was a gleam of a smile. "Is this sequel really going to happen?"
Dan slumped his shoulders. "I don't know."
"You think the fans want another movie?" Brian asked. "Everybody kept saying our movie was so '80's. The clothes, the shot-on-video look, the fans said it can't be replicated. Should we try to redo it?"
Dan knew the answer. "Honestly, we'd be retreaded the same stuff. The reason our movie is good in their eyes is the unintentional laughs. We would have to make a good bad movie on accident again. If that makes sense."
Brian processed Dan's answer.
"Yeah, you're probably right. I could finance another really low budget movie, but we don't have the volunteers, and we're not so young. Maybe I should use that money to pay you back. You invested so much in Bloody Mask, and you're right, I invested very little."
"The debt's paid, Brian. I can't leave the old man to his business now. I've worked for him for so many years. He needs me. So there's that. I basically have my father's construction business to run. Making a movie would be hard. Impossible, actually."
"You're right. It's just...I enjoyed entertaining the thought. This week's been fun, man."
"Those fans were wild."
"Imagine if we had thousands and thousands of fans. To be like a Wes Craven, or a John Carpenter. I bet it's a trip."
"But they know how to make movies. We guessed on everything. And they had money, and actors, and a studio to back them up. We had shit."
Brian sighed. "So another movie's not going to happen?"
Dan was sad to say it.
"Probably not. Maybe."
"We've gone back and forth on this," Brian said. "I know you say yes because you want to make me happy. You're a good friend. It doesn't mean I can't do
it on my own, right?"
"It doesn't. You've got way more energy than I have these days."
"I manage a grocery store, you own a construction business, Dan. We're world's apart. I can quit my job and say fuck it. But you couldn't do that to your dad."
"I've considered selling off the business, but my dad plans to work until his dying day. It'd break his heart if I sold it while he was still enjoying the work."
"Don't you feel trapped?"
"I do."
"Did you even want to work construction?"
"It's mostly paperwork and business stuff I do these days. It's money, but yeah, I'd love to do something else, especially while I'm relatively young enough to pull it off."
"Explain it to your old man. Say you want to move on. Do whatever it takes to be happy. I'm ready to tell the grocery store to shove it up their ass. After this week, I have to make this mov—"
Dan saw it the same moment Brian did.
Brian's house was engulfed in flames.
And standing in the front yard was a figure wearing the very same mask from their movie.
"Mom! Mom!"
Brian sped up to the house. The man in the mask had disappeared. Dan couldn't see where the mysterious man was headed. Flames had chewed through most of the house. The roof made creaking and moaning sounds. The whole place could cave in at any moment, and Brian ran right towards the house.
"You can't go in there!" Dan tried to hold Brian back. "I'll call the police. It's too dangerous."
"But my mom's in there! Let me go!"
Dan restrained Brian with both arms. "No. You'll die in there! The fire's burning too strong."
"I don't care. Mooooooooom!"
Brian elbowed Dan in the solar plexus. From the time Dan hit the ground, absorbed the blow, and looked up, Brian was gone. Dan searched the front yard, the sides of the house, and was about to venture closer towards the house when the roof caved in on itself. Flames and heat delivered Dan into a short retreat.
Dan's throat was ragged from taking in the thick smoke and shouting out to Brian. He circled the house, calling out for Brian. The crazy bastard had run straight into the flames for his mother. Jesus, what was happening.
Then Dan remembered seeing the man wearing that mask.
Where the hell did the figure go?
Dan dialed the police on his cell phone. He struggled and failed to keep the urgency from his voice. He told the dispatcher everything, and to hurry.
From the road, the van drove up and then hit the brakes. Dan ran to the vehicle and then stopped when he was close enough to see it wasn't Brian in the driver's seat. A person wearing a mask, the one and only from the movie, beckoned Dan with a blood red finger.
Dan edged towards the van until the driver told him to stop. Every word was from a lunatic's mouth. Deranged, "Listen to every word I say to you, Dan Daniels. Lucille is dead and in pieces. Her remains are burning in the house. By the time they put out the fire, all that will be left are bones. Your friend wanted to run inside the house to save his mother, but I couldn't let that happen. I need Brian alive. I need collateral. I want you to stay in town, Dan.
"If you leave, one of many things will happen. I will track you down, kill you, and kill your family. I'll make the killings worse than what you came up with in your movie. Much, much worse. But what will happen first, I have Brian in this body bag laying on the passenger seat. He's unconscious. My baseball bat did its job. He's out like a fucking light."
The driver showed Dan a Louisville Slugger, then he pointed at the body bag in the driver's seat. "Brian will die, and I will be savage. You will see it happen, Dan. Every moment. You'll feel the warmth of every drop of blood and hear his every scream. You'll witness his dying moment. Your lifespan from here on out is determined by me."
Dan's stomach twisted up upon hearing the next words.
The way the driver said them, the man was emotional.
Angry words mixed with angry tears.
"You made a mockery of something beautiful tonight. I will show you the error of your ways. The beauty you failed to see—the beauty they all failed to see—will be made clear. Tonight, everything I believed about my life, and the way I've been living it, has been a lie. I have a lot of time to make up for, and you'll be there to see it, Dan. You will be the last to die, because yours will be the greatest death of all.
"I thought you were a God. I thought you'd saved me from a lot of pain, Dan Daniels. But I realized you weren't doing me a favor. You tricked me. You and your fucking movie brainwashed me. Just like all the other movies. I wanted to be a good person. But I can't be someone I'm not, and I will no longer be that lie. Everybody needs pain, you see, and everybody needs fear, and I am that fear, and I am that pain, and I will be the one to deliver it to the world. This is my destiny. Do not leave town, Dan Daniels. If you do, Brian will die."
Before Dan could spit out a single word or come close to digesting everything the mysterious driver said, the van pealed out down the road.
Dan was alone in front of the burning house.
The sirens wailing in the distance were coming nearer.
Dan couldn't remember how he got from Brian's front yard to a police interrogation room. That was shock seeping in slowly. Dan couldn't think or process. One thing he could do, and that was ask himself, was I somehow the cause of this? Before Dan could imagine where Brian had been taken to, or who this person wearing the mask could be, or if Lucille was really dead, the door to the interrogation room opened. The detective entered. He was a tall man in his fifties. The man wore a cynical smile and a set of lazy eyes that said this is just another case, so let's get on with it.
The man introduced himself as Detective Hanley. Then, he said, "So you're the guy then?"
Dan wasn't sure what he meant by that.
"Excuse me. The guy?"
"The horror movie guy. I suppose Bloody Mask wasn't famous enough to put Prudence on the map. A shame you didn't make a career out of things."
Who the fuck are you, Dan thought.
Dan did his best not to get mad. Brian's mom could be dead; probably was dead. This wasn't a time to let a jaded detective get under his skin.
"That was a long time ago, sir. I don't make movies anymore. I only made one."
The detective drank from a Styrofoam cup of coffee and lit a cigarette. He didn't offer Dan anything.
"So what brought you in town?"
The detective wasn't making eye contact. He was too busy eying the burning cherry of his cigarette to regard Dan.
Dan answered the question anyway. "A man named Andy Cummings invited me here for a movie reunion. You see, Andy works for a movie releasing company called Cult Crushers."
"Cult Crushers. What the hell is that?"
"A horror movie company."
"Oh, of course. Go on, Mr. Daniels."
"I've been in town about a week. I met up with Brian White, the producer of our movie. Andy arranged for us to meet up with old cast members and interview them and ask them to remember what it was like shooting the movie. Tonight was the movie showing down at Debby's, and afterwards, we came home to Brian's house, and it was on fire. Everything else happened so fast. Do you know what happened to Lucille White?"
Hanley's face betrayed no emotion. "We'll get into that later. Please, go on. What else happened?"
"Brian charged into the house to save his mom. We both saw a figure standing near the house. He was wearing a mask. I'm pretty sure it was the mask from the movie. I thought I lost it after making the movie."
"Hold on a moment," Hanley said. "You said Brian ran into the house."
"I didn't see him actually run into the house. I was trying to track down the guy wearing that damn mask, the person how probably set the fire in the first place, and then I lost track of Brian. I know he went into that house. He wanted to save his mom, I think. But I don't know."
"You don't know, Dan? What don't you know?"
"I ran to the house after I couldn't
find Brian, or the guy in the mask. I searched around the property, and I couldn't find anybody. Then Brian's van pulled up. The guy with the mask was driving it. He had Brian stuffed in a body bag in the passenger seat."
"You saw Brian in the passenger seat?"
"I couldn't see inside the bag, but you know, the guy in the mask said he was Brian. The son-of-a-bitch threatened me. He said if I left town, Brian would die."
The detective mulled it over. "And that's all you know?"
"Yeah, why? You think I know something else, and I'm not telling you? My friend's in danger. I'm in danger. Everybody in town could be in danger. It's not everyday you meet someone who wants to play a killer."
"Oh, this guy's not playing a killer. He is a killer."
The detective drank the coffee, suddenly didn't like the way it tasted, and he extinguished his cigarette in the bilge. "The fire fighters put out the fire. Someone set the gas to blow. But it wasn't the fire that killed the poor woman. Her remains were found in the basement. In pieces."
"She's dead?"
"I don't know very many people who are found dead in a burning house in pieces to be alive."
Dan was about to reach across the table and throttle the smug detective when the detective grabbed him by the arm.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do, Mr. Daniels."
"I have explaining to do? Just because some psycho emulates my movie, or whatever, it doesn't make me a criminal. And while you're wasting your time with me in here, this person's out there with my best friend."
"I think this is something you and your friend concocted for publicity for your shitty movie. Your movie's so terrible, it would take several people being killed to merit any kind of attention."
Dan felt like he was going to erupt. It took every shred of will to keep it together.
The sooner you tell this bozo chuckle fucker what he needs to hear, the sooner he can get his pork butt out in the street looking for this asshole.
"Tell me more about your theories, Detective. Then we can get on with what's really going on."
"You're being a smart ass, Mr. Daniels. Hey, you can set the tone for this interview, pal. This is what I understand. A bunch of idiots pat you on the back for making a movie nobody cared about. I talked to Andy Cummings earlier. He mentioned a few things that had happened this week. I've got a lot of concerns, and they all come back to you, Dan Daniels."
