In a Heartbeat

by Rita Herron

  The new school year had begun, too. Ruby had been surprised but understanding when she’d learned Lisa’s true identity. She’d also been slightly hurt that Lisa hadn’t trusted her with the truth, but Lisa had sworn she’d kept her identity a secret to protect her. And Ruby had landed a job as her assistant at school this year, too. Even the principal and families of Lisa’s former students had been supportive.

  Lisa had a new class, a darling bunch of curious kindergartners who were eager to learn, precocious and loving. Even the mischievous ones had already stolen her heart.

  Yet part of it would always belong to Brad.

  A soul-deep ache stirred within her as she looked out at the apples growing plump and round on the trees. Some had already dropped to the ground; some were being harvested now. She’d made applesauce and apple butter but she hadn’t yet made a pie, the memory of the one she’d shared with Brad too fresh on her mind.

  Halloween had passed and Thanksgiving would be here soon. She glanced at the hand-drawn turkeys the children had painted, each tail feather of the bird describing something they were thankful for. She still thanked God that she was alive. That she’d been blessed with a few moments in time with the love of her life.

  Ruby poked her head into the classroom where Lisa was busy straightening up for the day. “Lisa, there’s someone here to see you.”

  Her heart fluttered for a moment, then her father walked into the room.

  “You look disappointed, princess.”

  Lisa smiled and shook her head, then stood and kissed her father’s cheek. “No, Dad, you know I love seeing you.” One good thing had come out of the ordeal with the copycat killer. She and her father were getting close again. Talking about what went wrong, all the misunderstandings they’d had. The guilt that he’d wrestled with after her first abduction.

  The guilt he still wrestled with now.

  He’d finally admitted that he’d falsified William’s donor forms and removed the organs himself. At the time, he’d thought that by doing so, that at least White’s death would account for something, that he would be giving life instead of taking it. But his logic had backfired and three innocent women had died because Dunbar believed White had taken over his body.

  Her father had wanted to come forward publicly, but Lisa encouraged him not to. She didn’t want his career ruined. He didn’t deserve that. And he didn’t deserve the guilt….

  To her surprise, he’d announced that he was giving up his practice, retiring to open a free clinic for the needy. She supposed he felt he had to atone for his unethical behavior.

  But she’d been shocked even more that Brad had kept quiet. One day maybe she could ask him why. Knowing the two men didn’t get along, she would have thought it the perfect opportunity for Brad to wield his power.

  “How’s school going?” her father asked.

  “Good. The kids keep me on my toes.”

  Liam laughed. “You used to keep me on mine, too.”

  They laughed together as he shared another memory from the scrapbook of her youth. He’d been doing a lot of that lately. Telling her more about her mother, too.

  Finally, he paused and glanced into her eyes. “Lisa…are you really okay? You still seem so sad. Aren’t you sleeping well? Still having nightmares?”

  “Some, but the therapy helps. You worry too much.” She forced a smile. How could she tell her father she couldn’t sleep for dreaming of Brad? “I’m really fine. I love being here, teaching the children. Besides, Thanksgiving’s coming up, and we’ll be together as a family this year.”

  Her father shuffled, suddenly looking nervous.

  “Dad, what is it?”

  “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s about Thanksgiving.”

  Disappointment ballooned in her chest. He was going away, just as he had when she was little. She and Gioni had both thought they were slowly chiseling away the protective walls he’d erected, but maybe they were wrong.

  “I’ve asked Gioni to marry me,” he blurted, a sheepish look coloring his face. “The wedding is the day before Thanksgiving, and we want you to be there.”

  Lisa stared at her father in surprise. “You’re getting married?”

  He took her hand in his. “Lisa, honey, I know it may be hard for you, and I hope you don’t blame Gioni for calling you that night—”

  “Dad,” Lisa said, cutting him off. “I like Gioni. I don’t blame her at all.” She stood on tiptoe and threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy for you. It’s about time you married her!”

  He hugged her back, and for the first time in years, she saw peace and happiness light his eyes. At least one of them would marry this fall, she thought as he drove away later. She tried not to think about the fact that she’d hoped it would be her.

  * * *

  BRAD TOSSED A ROCK into the lake and watched it zip across the surface. With the constant rain they’d had, the lake was full, finally recovering from the endless summer drought.

  Ethan slumped onto a tree stump beside him. “How’s it going?”

  “Fine.”

  “Heard you graduated from the cane.”

  “Yeah, a few months and maybe I’ll be able to jog around the lake.” Brad grunted. “Did you find out what happened to Surges?”

  “He decided to quit. Hear he’s applied to firefighters’ school.” Ethan laughed. “Have you decided what you’re going to do about the Bureau?”

  Brad shrugged. “I’ll be back.” After all, what else did he know to do? His job was waiting. But he couldn’t muster any enthusiasm for rushing his recovery.

  “Have you talked to Lisa?”

  He shot Ethan a lethal look. His partner had badgered him constantly to call her. To see her.

  “No. She’s better off.”

  “And what about you?”

  “I told you I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine, Booker. You’re a goddamn mess.” Ethan stood, picked up a handful of rocks himself and plunked one into the water. “You’ve shut yourself off up here like you’re some kind of recluse, feeling sorry for yourself.”

  Brad glared at him. “I’m not doing that. Lisa deserves to feel safe. She can’t do that with me in her life.”

  “Look, Booker, I know what you’re afraid of. I lived that nightmare.” Ethan’s voice cracked. “I watched my wife and kid get blown up, but you know what? Even though it kills me, and sometimes I wished I had walked away from them earlier, I know I’m better off for having had them in my life.”

  Shocked at his admission, Brad watched as Ethan turned and strode off. What the hell kind of logic was that? Selfish, that’s what it was.

  He stood, his lower back throbbing, but yanked on his boxing gloves and began to punch the bag. Over and over and over. One for the mother who’d thrown him away. One for the father who’d never claimed him. One for the foster parents who hadn’t wanted him. Another for all the crazy lunatic killers.

  And one more for the fact that he couldn’t have Lisa.

  Beauregard loped up and parked his ass beside him, and Brad gave him a foul look. “What? I let you in the house last night. What more do you want?”

  The dog whined. “I know you miss her, too.”

  Memories flooded him. Lisa climbing from the car, bending to pet his mangy dog. Lisa climbing into his bed. Lisa naked and writhing below him.

  Lisa whispering that she loved him.

  A car engine cut through his inner diatribe, and he paused, then glanced up the trail, figuring Ethan was back to badger him some more. But a white Cadillac glimmered through the trees. Liam Langley’s.

  His heart skipped a beat. God, something was wrong. Lisa.

  He tossed the gloves to the ground and stalked up the path through the woods, running and limping. His breath wheezed out, and he leaned against the trunk of an oak, bracing himself as Langley exited his car.

  The older man stood and folded his arms. “We have to talk, Booker.”

  “Wha
t’s wrong?” Brad asked.

  A thundercloud clapped above, threatening more rain, and Langley moved to the porch. Brad followed.

  “What the hell is it? Is Lisa okay? Has something happened?”

  Langley paced the porch. “She’s okay. I guess.”

  Brad was sweating. “What kind of answer is that?”

  Her father paused, stared him in the eye. “She misses you, Booker.”

  Brad’s lungs tightened, exploding on a breath. “What?”

  “I said she misses you.” Langley jammed his hands in his pockets. “I…I owe you a lot. You took a bullet for her. Three, that is.”

  “I don’t want your gratitude. I did that for Lisa.” And he’d do it again, in a heartbeat.

  “Well, you’ve got it and my respect. You covered my ass, and saved my reputation.”

  “I did that for Lisa, too.”

  “I know.” The doctor lifted his steady gaze, scrutinizing. Brad felt as if he was under the knife. “At the hospital, you said that we’re alike.”

  Brad nodded.

  “You’re right. We would both do anything for Lisa.” Langley pressed his hand to his chest. “I know why I feel that way. She’s my daughter, and I love her.”

  I love her, too. Brad almost said the words out loud but caught himself.

  Langley waited, then shocked him by saying them for him. “You love her, too.”

  Brad remained silent. He’d only recently admitted it to himself. He wasn’t ready to admit that to her father, not and face his wrath.

  “As you pointed out four years ago,” Brad finally said, “I’m no good for Lisa. She deserves someone better.”

  Langley whirled around, stared down the path, dropped his head forward as if struggling with something. “I did say that, and I meant it at the time. But I was dealing with my own guilt over not protecting Lisa.” He hesitated again, then glanced up, a grave expression on his face. “We’re both just men, Booker. If there’s anything I’ve learned lately, it’s that we’re human. We make mistakes.”

  Brad swallowed, emotions battling their way to the surface. “Do you think she’ll ever forgive us?”

  A wry smile lit Langley’s eyes. “That’s the amazing thing about Lisa, Booker. She already has. And you know what else?”

  Brad shook his head.

  “She loves us anyway.”

  Unconditional love? He’d heard of the concept but didn’t believe it existed.

  “I did some checking into your past,” Langley continued.

  Damn. He knew Langley had to have an ulterior motive. “I know why you were arrested as a teen. Why you tried to kill your foster father.”

  “What does it matter?” Brad asked. “I left Lisa. You don’t have to worry—”

  “It does matter,” Langley said, his voice commanding. “You were protecting your foster sister. That makes a helluva difference.”

  Brad opened his mouth to argue but couldn’t. He saw the face of the little girl as if the incident had happened yesterday. “I didn’t, though. She died.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry.” Langley cleared his throat. “And you blame yourself because you couldn’t save her.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Like you said, you and I are alike. I blamed myself for not being able to save Lisa’s mother. And then I shut myself off from Lisa after the first attack, because I blamed myself for not keeping her safe.” Langley stalked toward him. “I nearly lost it all. Lisa. Gioni. Just like you’re going to do if you don’t stop being a coward.”

  Brad had no idea what to say. Where Langley was going.

  “When I’m wrong about someone, I say it. You’re a fine upstanding man, Booker.” Langley paused. “And my daughter would be lucky to have you.” He removed an envelope from his pocket and dropped it onto the cane-back chair on the porch. “This is an invitation to Gioni’s and my wedding. Lisa will be there. And I want you to be my best man.” He started down the porch, not bothering to wait for a reply. “Don’t be a fool and let your past keep you from having a future.”

  Brad watched the man stalk away in silence. Was Langley right? Was he really protecting Lisa by staying away from her?

  Or was he simply too afraid of losing again to try?

  * * *

  “THANK YOU FOR BEING my maid of honor.” Gioni hugged Lisa, her veil tangling as they pulled away.

  Lisa laughed and fluffed the lace, her chest tight with happiness for her father and this woman. “I’m thrilled to have you in the family.”

  The bridal march started and Gioni smiled, her white tea-length, strapless satin dress molded to her figure as she stepped aside. Lisa moved to the church entrance and glanced down the aisle. The place was filled with her father’s friends and coworkers, as well as Gioni’s friends. Her father stood in a black tux, looking regal, with a grin on his face that made tears come to her eyes. She was so happy for him, her heart swelled.

  Yet a sharp pang also ran through her.

  But she squared her chin, determined not to allow thoughts of Brad and her own heartsick loneliness to ruin her father’s day. She held the bouquet of roses in front of her, then stepped forward, glancing at the best man. Her dad hadn’t told her who he’d asked, but she’d assumed it was one of his colleagues. For a minute, her vision must have blurred, though, because she thought Brad was standing beside him.

  Her footsteps faltered.

  No, she was seeing things. Willing Brad to be here in her mind. Having fantasies about the wedding she had wanted.

  She blinked, then took another step, but the man raised his chin, and she faltered again.

  He was tall. Broad shouldered. Muscular. Dark hair that had been trimmed brushed a black suit jacket. A chiseled face with wide cheekbones wore an emotionless mask.

  But a pair of whiskey-colored eyes met hers. Searched her face.

  Wariness filled his irises. Then unease. Then…desire.

  Someone cleared his throat, and she realized it was her father. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him motion her forward.

  The rest of the wedding passed in a blur. Her dad and Gioni exchanged their vows and rings, but Lisa couldn’t take her eyes off Brad.

  Then suddenly the bridal couple rushed down the aisle, the guests cheered and Brad extended his arm for her. Lisa accepted it, a tingle traveling through her as his muscles tightened beneath her hand. Like a thirst she couldn’t quench, one touch only wetted her need for more.

  Brad ushered her into the reception area, where flowers, food and white-linen-covered tables laden with gifts and wedding cake beckoned. A band was already playing big band music. Her father and Gioni moved to the dance floor for their first celebratory dance as husband and wife.

  It felt so good to be near Brad again that Lisa didn’t want to release his arm, but she had so many questions. Why was he here? Had he missed her?

  Her nerves ping-ponged back and forth from hope to fear as she turned to face him. She couldn’t stand putting her heart out there again. What if he said no, that he had moved on with his life?

  But God, he looked so handsome. She’d lain in bed so many nights wanting him.

  “What are you doing here?” she whispered.

  “Your father came to see me,” he said in a low voice. “He asked me to be his best man.”

  Lisa frowned. Was that the only reason?

  “He told me about the volunteer work.”

  Her heart was shattering.

  He shifted, shoved his hand through his hair, sighed and looked down. “I…I moved the dog inside.”

  She twisted her fingers together, confused. Why was he talking about Beauregard?

  Then it hit her. And hope flickered.

  A smile twitched at one corner of his mouth as their gazes met. “He sleeps by the bed now.”

  She licked her lips, ached to reach out and kiss him. “I’m sure he likes that.”

  Brad nodded and studied his feet again.

  Lisa saw him struggling
and took pity. “Would you like to dance, Brad?” Maybe he could relax then. Loosen up. Maybe then he’d kiss her.

  “I don’t know how,” he said in a gruff voice.

  “You don’t know how to dance?” she asked, her breath raspy.

  He shook his head, met her gaze, hunger flaring.

  She took his hand. “I could teach you.”

  “No…”

  Hope faded to a burning ember. He didn’t love her.

  “I don’t know how to do this, either.” He reached inside his pocket, removed a ring and held it up to her. Tears pooled in her eyes and spilled over. It was a beautiful amethyst in a white gold setting. Almost identical to the one her mother had given her, only larger.

  “I don’t know how to be in a relationship, to be a…husband,” he said gruffly. “But I want to try.”

  Lisa’s heart twisted. “I can teach you that, too.”

  “I know it’s not the same ring—”

  “Shh.” She pressed her finger to his lips. “It’s beautiful, Brad. I…love it. And I love you.”

  For a heartbeat, they simply stared into each other’s eyes. Seeking. Yearning.

  Then he slipped the ring on her finger, held out his arms, and she went into them.

  * * *

  WHILE THEY DANCED, their bodies gliding together, Brad imagined it as a prelude to making love, although Lisa had to lead and he kept stepping on her toes. He had wanted so badly to have Lisa back in his arms. And she had accepted his ring, had told him she loved him.

  But he hadn’t said the words back. Maybe he didn’t have to. Maybe it was enough he was there with her. Maybe the ring said it all.

  Or maybe he was afraid of saying it.

  At midnight, they said goodbye to Gioni and her father, drove to the lake and picked up his dog, then went to Ellijay. The ride was practically silent, but Lisa curled up against him, and he savored the contact. Fantasized about what the long night ahead would hold. Bodies touching. Loving. Kissing. Joining.