Take My V-Card

by Layla Valentine

  But the only page remaining was bare except for a big green “submit” button. Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Here goes nothing,” I said as I pressed it. “There. Work your magic.”

  The app marketing boasted near-instantaneous matchmaking, and I watched the phone with nervous anticipation as the loading screen spun around and around. I forced myself not to bite my nails, turning instead to the wine. I had almost finished the bottle, which wasn’t like me, but then neither was anything about this experience.

  “Still loading? Really?” I demanded after five minutes. “You crashed on me, didn’t you? I’m so unmatchable that I crashed a global dating app.”

  I stalked away from the phone, miserable at the obvious implications. “At least I’ll get an ‘I told you so’ out of it,” I said in a sardonic attempt to make myself feel better. “Won’t Nina be surprised?”

  I began to fill the sink to wash the few dishes I had used that day, when a chirrup from the phone made me jump.

  “No way,” I breathed as I turned off the water. Apprehensive and hopeful, I crept back out to the living room, almost as if making too much noise would scare the notification away. Heart pounding, I picked up the phone.

  We found a match! The app declared. Would you like to accept?

  “That’s it? No other info, just a match?” I paused to read the small print.

  If you choose to accept, Matchmakr will select a public location for your first meeting. If you decline, the app will cycle your information again to find a new match for you.

  “That seems silly,” I muttered. “How am I going to know if you actually choose a different date or not?” Realizing that there was no way to control the situation any further, I accepted the invitation.

  Congratulations! Your future happiness is within reach. Location: El Gato Negro, 301 King St. Date: Friday, August 12th. Time: 8:00 pm.

  Can you make it?

  “To my favorite restaurant in the city three hours after work? Why, Matchmakr, it’s almost like you know me!”

  I quickly accepted, feeling a little bit more confident about everything. If the app was smart enough to choose my favorite restaurant without ever asking me what it was, then maybe it was actually smart enough to find me a man.

  Congratulations! Your blind date has confirmed the date and time. Good luck!

  “Thanks,” I told it with a tipsy grin. “But if you did your job right, I’m not going to need luck, am I?”

  Chapter 3

  Rhona

  I swear, Nina must be psychic. I hadn’t been at work two hours the next day before she pulled me into the break room again.

  “How did you know?” I asked as she shut the door behind us.

  “Know what?”

  “That I downloaded Matchmakr, silly. Isn’t that why you brought me in here?”

  She gaped at me for a second before throwing her arms around me and squealing with delight. “No! I brought you in here to apologize for being so pushy yesterday, but yay! So what happened, did you finish the questions?”

  “Yes,” I laughed, beaming at her. “And it found me a match!”

  “Oh my God! That’s wonderful! When? Where? What are you going to wear?”

  “Friday, El Gato, and I haven’t decided yet.”

  “You should totally buy a new outfit to celebrate,” Nina said, clapping her hands with glee. “We should go shopping!”

  “Oh no, uh-uh. Every time I buy a new outfit for a date, things go wrong. I’m not about to jinx this. Besides, I already blew my dating budget on this app.”

  “Fair enough,” she laughed. “Well you at least need to pick out the perfect outfit, right? Let me come over tonight, we’ll invite Sara, drink some wine, and have a fashion show! And—”

  “Excuse me, ladies,” my boss’s baritone voice interrupted. “Sorry to interrupt. Rhona, could I speak with you in private for a moment?”

  “Um… Yes, of course,” I said, following him out the door with a nervous glance back at Nina. She shrugged, looking as worried as I felt.

  As Charlie led me back to his office, I rifled through every moment of the last week, trying to figure out what I did wrong and how bad it was. Coming up empty, I attempted to soothe my nervous belly by reminding myself that I had just gotten a raise, they obviously liked me, and whatever this was, it was nothing to be concerned about. It didn’t work. My palms were sweaty by the time I took my seat in his office.

  “Rhona, I’m almost hesitant to share this with you,” Charlie began, looking dangerously pensive. “You’ve been such an asset around the office, it’s really not fair to bring this to your attention.”

  My heart fell to my gut with a lurch and my mouth went dry.

  “I’m sorry,” I said earnestly, not knowing why. “What is it?”

  He sighed, leaned back, and broke into a grin. “Don’t look so worried,” he laughed. “This is going to be a pain for me, but it’s going to be great for you.”

  “What is?” I asked, desperate now for some clarification.

  “You know that we recently opened an office in Reykjavik,” he began, spreading his hands out on the desk.

  “Yes?”

  “Yes. Well, the office there is in need of a digital marketing guru. We’ve got some great people working out there, but none of them are quite ready for a position of this magnitude. You, however, have been ready for this for some time.”

  “I… I…?”

  “The position is yours if you want it,” he continued, ignoring my momentary lack of vocabulary. “Of course we would pay for your move, and since you would be in a senior position, you would receive a significant raise. Very significant…”

  He slid a folded bit of paper across the desk to me. I opened it, blinked, squinted, and then gaped.

  “Um… Is this an annual salary?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Monthly.”

  “Oh,” I breathed.

  “Yes indeed. Don’t worry, this is an entirely selfish move on the company’s part. We need you out there if we’re going to kick the office into high gear.”

  I chuckled at that, still in shock over the pay raise and the position, while concerned about what this would mean for my personal life. In a whole new country, I could become whoever I wanted to be. A completely fresh start, with all new people, in a place where memories of my failures didn’t linger in the shadows of every meeting place and restaurant.

  But it would also mean leaving everything and everyone I knew behind. It would mean leaving Nina and Sara, two people who had always been there to push me out of my comfort zone.

  “Could I have a few days to think about it?” I asked.

  “Of course,” he told me with a smile. “We won’t open the position to other candidates right away. We truly believe that you are the best person for the role, and we hope that you are as interested in taking it as we are in giving it.”

  “I am, I’m extremely interested,” I said quickly. “It sounds like a wonderful opportunity, exactly what I’ve been wanting to do, and I think it’s the best career move I could possibly make.”

  “But…?” he prompted.

  “But…I’m just the tiniest bit hesitant to uproot my entire life. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m very excited to be asked and I’m already picturing a future there…”

  He held up a hand with a chuckle. “Say no more, I understand entirely. Keep me informed, Rhona. I’ll hold the position for you until you’ve decided.”

  “Thank you so much, and I definitely will. Thank you,” I gushed as I stood.

  I left his office in a daze, still trying to accept that it was real. I could really have all of that, the prestige, the money, the reputation; it was at my fingertips, all I had to do was say yes.

  “Did I get you in trouble?” Nina asked quietly as I sat back at my desk.

  “Not at all,” I assured her.

  “Oh, good,” she grinned, sighing for emphasis. “So, wha
t are you going to wear on Friday?”

  “Let me text Sara,” I said with a little grin. “Then the two of you can vote on it.”

  Nina clapped her hands and bounced back to her cubicle, leaving me shaking my head at her as I sent the text to Sara. I felt like a kid all of a sudden, setting up a sleepover with my besties, and it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Maybe this was exactly what I needed—a reset on my whole life, to make the preparation for the date as close to my experience level as possible, rather than obsessing about my age.

  Sara confirmed immediately, thrilled that I was finally back in the game.

  Chapter 4

  Rhona

  “You’ve got a great figure; why do you keep trying to hide it?” Sara asked from her perch on my pillows, gesturing with her glass of wine at my smock-style A-line.

  “Told you so,” Nina added with a smirk.

  “I’m not trying to hide it, I just think this is cute,” I said, twirling the soft fabric around my knees.

  “Cute isn’t going to get you laid,” Sara said sagely. “You need to be sultry, work that natural bombshell you’ve got going on.”

  “I’m not trying to get laid,” I said, blushing furiously.

  “Phrase it however you want to,” Nina said, twisting her lips. “But you can’t tell me that you aren’t imagining your date naked.”

  “Oh hush,” I said, jittery with nerves all of a sudden. “The app probably set me up with a dumpy virgin who’s been living in his mother’s basement for the last ten years.”

  “If it did, then it’s a terrible app,” Sara said as she slid off of the bed and sauntered into my closet. “Because you, doll, deserve way better. Here, try this one.”

  She tossed a red lace-trimmed backless dress at me, and I gave her a look.

  “What?” she asked, turning up her nose with a sniff. “You bought it, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, but I’ve never had the guts to wear it,” I told her as I shimmied out of the smock and into the dress. “It’s practically lingerie.”

  “Exactly,” she said with a twinkle in her dark eyes. “Get those subliminal messages out there.”

  I laughed and rolled my eyes, but arranged the neckline and smoothed out the skirt. It was absolutely striking…and absolutely too much for a first date.

  “Maybe for a third date?” Nina suggested as if she was reading my mind.

  “Yes,” I said with a rush of relief. “I can’t meet a new guy looking like this; it’s way too suggestive.”

  “So what is it you want to suggest?” Sara asked.

  “I don’t know…that I’m interesting? That there’s more to me than meets the eye, and that I’m worth getting to know regardless of my obvious and not-so-obvious failings?”

  “What failings?” Nina asked, in a gently admonishing tone.

  “The failings that have kept me frozen in girlhood forever,” I said ruefully. “Whatever those are.”

  “See, you don’t even know, and you know why you don’t know? Because your failings are all in your head. If you stop proclaiming them, people will stop seeing them.” Sara repeated a version of the advice she had been giving me repeatedly for the last six years.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll stop,” I promised, rolling my eyes. “What else do I have in there?”

  Nina was rifling through my closet now, and tossed me a pastel-pink dress with little rosebuds scattered all over it.

  “There,” she said with a nod. “Nothing says ‘virginal but ready’ like rosebuds.”

  Blushing, I slipped into the dress, tossing the red one onto the ever-growing pile of discards.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” Nina said as she helped me with the million tiny buttons which ran up the back of the dress. “What did Charlie want?”

  “Who’s Charlie?” Sara interjected.

  “My boss,” I told Sara. “And…he wanted to offer me a promotion.”

  “Another one?! Look at you, girl. You’re on fire! When do you start?” Nina asked excitedly, twirling me to gauge the aesthetic value of the flouncy skirt.

  “I don’t know if I’m going to take it yet,” I admitted.

  “What? Why not? I’ve never heard you turn down a promotion, not once. Why now?” Sara fired questions at me in a tipsy fury, her eyes blazing.

  “I would have to move to Reykjavik,” I told them absently, rejecting the dress I had on.

  “Reykja-what? Where’s that?” Sara asked.

  “Iceland,” Nina told her, sounding shocked. “We just opened an office there.” She turned to me. “Why do they want you out there?”

  “They need a digital marketing expert,” I said, tossing the pink dress on the pile and moving to the closet myself. I pulled a floor-length teal number off its hanger and slid it over my head. “Charlie said they don’t have anyone out there with the right skills and experience. Apparently, the offer is coming from someone over his head, and they’re pretty insistent about it. They haven’t even opened the offer to the public yet, and Charlie says they won’t until they have my final answer.”

  “What are you going to say?” Nina asked.

  I bit my lip nervously as I checked my reflection, deciding that I didn’t like the way this dress made my tummy look.

  “What do you think I should say?” I asked her.

  She and Sara shared a look I didn’t want to decipher, then Sara moved to the closet and addressed the dresses as she spoke.

  “This one’s all you, doll. Do you want it?”

  “I don’t know,” I said helplessly. “The money is almost too good to turn down, but what would I even do with it?”

  “Buy a telescope,” my two friends said in unison.

  “Who gave you permission to know me that well?” I laughed. “I mean, I could buy dozens of telescopes with this salary, I just…”

  “What are you hesitating for? What’s stopping you?” Nina asked gently.

  “This,” I confessed, gesturing around the room.

  “Your apartment? It’s not that great,” Sara said doubtfully.

  “Not the apartment,” I sighed, exasperated. “You two. What we’re doing right now. How am I ever going to make a decision without you, Nina? How am I ever going to take a risk without you, Sara? I would be all on my own out there. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

  Nina sighed heavily. She set her jaw, then turned to me, her blue eyes ablaze. “Then you have to take it,” she told me decisively.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Listen, hon. You have all of the drive, intelligence, and persistence you need. If you never flex those muscles, you’re never going to grow as a person, and as your friend, I can’t let you turn this down out of fear. You have to take it.”

  “But if I do it because you told me to, doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” I asked slyly.

  “Consider it my parting gift to you,” Nina said with a soft smile. “As long as you promise to make it back for my wedding.”

  “When is that going to be?” I asked, grateful for an excuse to change the topic.

  “We haven’t set a date yet, but nice try. Please accept the promotion, Rhona. You deserve it. The money, the prestige, and the opportunity to prove yourself to yourself.”

  I sighed, feeling lost but knowing that she was right, at least in theory. Birds need to be kicked out of the nest before they fly, right? I just wished that falling didn’t wreck my nerves so terribly.

  “She’s right,” Sara said firmly, popping out of the closet with a coral-red dress in her hands. “And so am I. Here’s your dress for Friday.”

  She tossed it to me, and I studied it. Maybe they were right.

  “All right, I’ll tell you what,” I bargained. “If this dress is the dress I decide to wear on Friday, then I will agree to consider taking the promotion.”

  “Agreeing to consider isn’t a promise at all,” Sara huffed.

  “Yes it is,” Nina objected as she searched my face. “It’s one step closer. She’d already
decided not to take it.”

  “Is that true?” Sara asked.

  “Um… Yes.”

  “Ugh, I just can’t with you sometimes. Fine, I accept your deal, now put the dress on!”

  I did, and I had to admit that she was right. With a heavy sigh, I opened up internal negotiations once more.

  Chapter 5

  Rhona

  I was greeted at work the following day by an inbox full of emails. Right on top was one from Charlie with a subject line which read, “Pick your favorite.”

  Curious, I opened it, and immediately rows and rows of pictures filled my screen, each one a different view of a ridiculously nice apartment. I scrolled through the email twice looking for an explanation, but there was none.

  Confused, I didn’t bother replying, but rose and went to Charlie’s office. His door was open and he was frowning at his screen, so I tapped timidly on the doorframe. He turned his frown to me, but it melted immediately into a welcoming smile.

  “Rhona! Have you made your decision?”

  “Not quite yet,” I told him apologetically. “I wanted to ask you about that email you sent me, with all the apartments? I’m not quite sure what you want me to do with that, is it for an ad campaign?”

  Charlie grinned. “No, but I like how you think. I’ve been put in charge of choosing the executive flat for our new Director of Digital Advertising in Reykjavik, and need to know which you like best.”

  “Oh!” Startled and feeling a bit pressured, I twisted a lock of hair around my finger as I processed everything. “Is it fair for me to choose if I’m not even certain that I’m going to take it yet?”

  Charlie sighed and heaved his soft, round bulk out of his chair. He paced for a moment, clasping his hands behind his back, then walked to the window and gazed out. “I won’t lie to you, Rhona. I don’t want you to go. You keep this department moving so smoothly, I really don’t know what we’re going to do without you. I fought to keep you, as a matter of fact, against your best interests.”