Life After Wifey

by Kiki Swinson

  “Nothing, I’m just tired,” she answered nonchalantly.

  “Yo, I know you ain’t still mad with me from the other day?”

  “Is that what you called me for?”

  “Who you getting smart with?”

  “Look, Syncere, I am not trying to argue with you. I’ve got too much shit on my mind right now for that nonsense.”

  “I didn’t call to argue wit’ your stupid ass! I just wanted to know if you was gon’ be there, so I could come and scoop you up and take your silly ass out to lunch.”

  “Well, that sounds nice but I already ate.”

  “Yeah. A’ight, then. I’mma holler.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she replied and hung up.

  I started to call her stupid ass back and curse her out, but I didn’t have time to be fussing wit’ her. The bitch is nutty as a fruit cake. And if she doesn’t learn to watch her fucking mouth when she is talking to me, then she is gon’ always have me smacking upside her muthafucking head. ‘Cause see, I was taught that a man was suppose to be the ruler over his woman and that the woman was supposed to respect him. Ain’t no talking-back shit allowed. And ain’t no hanging out all times of the night, either. Trust me, I was gon’ be the only mu’fucker doing the hanging out ‘cause I was the one handling business and paying the bills. So, she was gonna either get with the program or keep getting the shit beat out of her. She could make a choice. Because I was not gonna have it no other way.

  After I got off the phone with Nikki’s simple ass, I started up the car and hopped on the road. I made a stop by one of my spots out in Huntersville to see if their supply was low. But, they were all right so I chilled out there for a hour or so just to make sure everything was running smoothly. Then, after I felt like I had seen enough, I got up and bounced. But before I left, I collected all the dough they made while I was there. The count was a little over eight grand which was a nice piece of change for me, so I threw it in the glove compartment and hopped back on the road. I was gon’ scoop Sasha up from her sister’s spot in the Norview section of Norfolk.

  I found out her sister wasn’t there when I pulled up, so I went in the crib and got myself a quickie before she came back. The shit was good too. Ain’t nothing like sneaking some pussy. That shit’ll have your adrenaline pumping like a muthafucker.

  On the flipside, I snatched her up and we went out. We rode around to a few apartment complexes to get applications and then we stopped at

  P.F. Chang on Virginia Beach Boulevard since we were in the mood for some Chinese food. After that pit stop, we decided to get room at the Hilton around the corner. I wasn’t in any condition to get my fuck on again. I really just wanted to chill since I had made plans to meet up with Monty and ‘em later on. As soon as I walked into the suite, I took everything out of my pockets and climbed straight on the bed.

  “Want me to take your pants and shoes off?” she asked.

  “Nah. I’m cool.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah” I assured her. “I gotta’ go out later. So, I’m gonna take a quick nap.”

  “What time do you have to go out?”

  “I wanna leave about ten o’clock, so wake me up.”

  “All right. But, when you leave out, I want you to drop me back off at my sister’s house because I promised her that I would baby sit for her tonight.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me that before I got the room?”

  “Because I didn’t remember until just now.”

  “Yeah, a’ight.” I sighed, then I laid my head down on the pillow and

  closed my eyes.

  Later on, around twelve midnight, I met Monty and his boy, Amir, at the Texaco gas station in downtown Portsmouth. Quincy was already in Suffolk. He called and told me that he was lying down on the ground behind a set of bushes one house over from Lloyd’s crib. So, after I told them what the deal was, I hopped in their old beat up whip and left my rental parked on a street right around the corner from the gas station.

  As soon as we touchdown in Suffolk, I got Quincy back on the phone and asked him his exact location.

  “I’m on 6th Street, right off East Washington Avenue. So, park you car either on 3rd or 4th Street and walk to where I am,” he instructed.

  “A’ight,” I said. But truly speaking, I wasn’t in the mood to walk two muthafucking blocks. Did the nigga forget that I was walking with a fucking cane? Nah, see we’re gonna have to come up with something better than that. So, I looked over at Monty and said, “Quincy just said that he was on 6th Street hiding out in some bushes, so we need to park the car on 4th Street and walk to where he is. But, I ain’t gon’ be able to do it with this cane. So, I’m gonna take this car, drop you and Amir off around the corner from Quincy and then I gonna park down the opposite end of 6th Street and wait for y’all to give me the signal.”

  “That’s cool,” Monty replied. From there the plan was executed.

  Immediately after I dropped Monty and Amir off, I rode around the block and found a good hideout spot on the opposite end of 6th Street. Once I pulled into the lot, I saw that it was a small development site for contractors to build a new home.

  There were huge piles of dirt all over the property with a bulldozer and a dumpster sitting along the curb. I parked the car directly behind the dumpster, reclined the chair and waited.

  I think I listened to the entire T-Pain CD twice when I realized that I had been sitting in this tight ass car for over a hour and a half. You know I was beginning to lose my patient with this thing all together.And there was no better person to vent my frustrations to than Quincy.

  “Man, what time is this nigga coming home?” I asked the moment he answered his phone.

  “Shit, I don’t know. But, I wish he hurry up ‘cause I’m tired of hiding behind these fucking bushes,” he complained. “And these bugs is tearing my ass apart.”

  “How are Monty and Amir holding up?”

  “Ahh man, them niggas been ready to go.”

  “Look, if that nigga don’t show up in the next thirty minutes, then we gon’ go ahead bounce.”

  “A’ight,” Quincy agreed.

  Just as I was about to hang up my phone, Quincy said, “Hey yo’, dawg, wait. Don’t hang up.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Man you ain’t gon’ believe it, but your ship is pulling in right as we speak.”

  “You bullshitting!”

  “No, I’m not. Check it out,” he insisted.

  I sat up in my seat, rolled down the driver side window and stuck my head outside of the window just enough so I could look around the dumpster. When I got a clear view of Lloyd’s white, 2007-LS 460-Lexus creeping up the street, I started smiling. “Yeah, I see ‘em. Just stay out of sight until I tell you when to rush ‘em.”

  “But, I thought we were going to wait until he goes into his crib.”

  “I changed my mind; we ain’t got time for all of that. Just hit ‘em as soon as he gets out of his whip. And when he hits the ground, I want all three of you niggas to make sure he’s dead first before you make a run for it. Oh yeah, and I want y’all to take everything that fat muthafucking got in his pockets too.”

  “Where you gon’ pick us up at?”

  “Meet me on 5th and I’ll take you to your whip.”

  “A’ight,” Quincy said and then he hung up.

  I held my head out of the car window so I could see everything unfold. From the time Lloyd’s whip pulled up in the driveway and stopped, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Just when everything seemed to be going according to plan, something unexpected happened. I immediately got Quincy back on the phone.

  “What the fuck is going on? Where is this nigga at?” I asked the moment he answered.

  “I don’t know. But, that’s gotta be his girl.”

  “What is she doing?” I asked, trying desperately to see her next move from where I was parked.

  “She’s on her way into the house. But, from the looks of it, she ain
’t gon’ be in there long because she left the car running.”

  “Can you see in the car from where you at?”

  “The tint is kind of dark but I can still see a little bit.”

  “Is anybody in there?”

  “Nope.”

  “Do you think that nigga is already in the crib?”

  “Nah man, ain’t nobody in there. All the lights been off in the joint the whole time.”

  “Look, I want you and Amir to run up in there and rough her up until she tells y’all where that nigga is.”

  “Whatcha’ want us to do with her after she tells us?”

  “Call me first and then I’ll let you know.”

  “A’ight. But, whatcha want Monty to do?”

  “Nothing. I want him to stay put, so he can watch your back just in case somebody else decides to show up.”

  “A’ight,” Quincy replied.

  About sixty seconds after Quincy hung up with me, I saw him and Amir sprinting across the street like they were athletes. Less than ten seconds later, they were on the front porch and forcing their way into the house. I couldn’t see anything beyond that, so you know it was killing me to know what was going on. But thanks to Quincy, I didn’t have to wait that long to find out because that nigga called me less than three minutes later.

  My adrenaline was pumping like crazy when my phone started ringing. The urge to know what was going on inside that house had an even greater effect. “Hey y’all all right?”

  “A yo’ dawg, you ain’t gon’ believe what I just ran into.”

  “What is it?” I asked anxiously.

  “You gon’ have to come down here and see it for yourself.”

  “Whatcha’ mean I’m gon’ have to come down there? Whatcha’ trying to set me up or something?” I asked defensively.

  “Come on now dawg, what kind of question is that? Man, you know I wouldn’t carry you like that,” Quincy replied, trying to reassure with me.

  Trying to make sense of what he was saying, I hesitated. Then I asked, “Who else is in there besides the chick?”

  “Nobody. It’s just her and us.”

  “A’ight, well send Amir outside on the porch first and then I’ll come.”

  “Man, you tripping! But, a’ight.”

  Moments later I saw Amir walk out on the front porch, close the door behind him and signal for me to come. I started up the ignition, drove the car half way up the block, got out and walked the rest of the way. Before I crossed over to the other side of the street, I walked by the set of bushes where Monty was and said, “A yo’ nigga, I don’t know what’s going on in there, but if I don’t come out in the next couple of minutes, I want you to run up in there blasting.”

  “I gotcha’,” Monty replied in a low whisper.

  By the time I got on the porch Amir was giving me this weird looking expression. So, I pulled my burner from my waist, pulled back on the chamber and asked, “What the fuck is going on? Y’all niggas trying to play me?”

  Amir’s red, short, stubby ass threw his hands up and took a couple steps backward and said, “Nah Syncere, we ain’t trying to play you. You know we don’t roll like that.”

  “Well, what’s up with all the secrecy shit?”

  “Ain’t nobody trying to be all secretive. The only reason why Q wanted you to come in the house to see what’s going on is because if he tried to explain it to you, you wouldn’t believe it.”

  I hesitated once more and then I said, “A’ight, well, let’s go on in before somebody comes up.”

  Since Amir was closest to the front door, he went in first and I followed. As I crossed the threshold into the living room, my eyes scanned the entire room and landed on something that caught me completely by surprise. I couldn’t believe what I was actually seeing. And Quincy noticed it in my facial expression, but he kept his peace. He knew I was going to need time to soak everything in. But, it didn’t take me long, because as soon as I walked completely in the house and Amir closed the door behind me, I walked directly over to Quincy standing over top of home girl with his pistol pointed directly at her head. “Sasha, what the fuck are you doing here?”

  “She lives here,” Quincy interjected. “This is Lloyd’s girl.”

  “You fucking bitch, I roared as I lunged toward her and hit her right across her left temple. The force behind the blow of the gun sent her dumb ass flying down to the floor.

  “Owww,” she screamed, grabbing her bleeding head.

  “Shut the fuck up! You ol’ snake ass bitch! Got me ‘round here thinking you were down for me. Nursing me back to health and shit, but was the one who had me set up to get robbed.” I snapped and kicked her in her side. “I almost got killed behind your stinking ass!”

  “I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me,” Sasha begged after she managed to crawl onto her knees.

  “Bitch, I ain’t trying to hear that muthafucking shit! Just tell me where your fat ass boyfriend is?”

  “He’s at the gambling spot in Cypress Manor.”

  “Where the fuck is that?” I asked her feeling irritated and murderous.

  “It’s out here in Suffolk, off White Marsh Road.”

  “How far is it from here?”

  “It’s about five minutes away.”

  “How many niggas at the spot with ‘em?”

  “His homeboy Spank is with him. Plus there’s three other cats in there.”

  “Whatcha come in here for? ‘Cause, I know he sent you here to get something?”

  “When I walked in here she was pulling this dough out of the freezer,” Quincy interjected as he retrieved a stack of money from his jacket pocket.

  “Damn! I didn’t know niggas were still hiding their dough in the back of the freezer. That’s some ol’ school shit!”

  “Come on now, we’re talking about some ol’ country ass nigga from the back woods. So, he don’t know nothing.”

  “He knew enough to get this bitch to set me up.”

  “True,” Quincy replied.

  “How much is it?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Quincy said and then he looked down at Sasha. He asked her, “How much is it?”

  “Ten grand.”

  “Anymore in there?” I asked Quincy.

  “No,” he replied.

  “Well, where is all that muthafucking money y’all took from me?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Whatcha’ mean you’re not sure?” I snapped

  “I don’t know where he could’ve put it. Remember, I was with you,” She continued to plead her case.

  “Look, I ain’t trying to hear that bullshit! ‘Cause, I know that nigga got some more dough hidden in here somewhere.”

  Before Sasha could respond, our attention shifted to a noise coming from the front porch. Me and Quincy jumped for cover while Amir took a look through the peep hole.

  “What is it?” I whispered loud enough for him to hear me.

  “Oh shit! Somebody’s coming,” he replied, as if he had saw a ghost.

  Instantly, everybody pointed their burner toward the door. While we waited for the opportunity to unload, I snatched Sasha up from the floor and made her stand directly in front of me, just in case shit got out of control and I needed a human shield.

  “Stop that muthafucking crying and ask who it is,” I instructed her as I stuck my burner in her back.

  She cleared throat and asked, “Who is it?”

  The person outside didn’t respond so I sent Quincy out the back door to check things out. Within fifteen seconds that nigga was out the back door and around the front part of the house tapping on the living room window. “Open the front door. It ain’t nobody but Monty,” I heard him say.

  Relieved to know that it was my nigga Monty out there watching our back, I let out a sigh of relief and had Amir to open up the front door. “Damn nigga, you scared the hell out of us,” I told him the moment he stepped into the house.

  “Man, shiid, I thought y’all niggas was in
trouble.”

  “Nah, we all right. We just trying to find out where Lloyd keeps his stash.”

  “A’ight. Well, handle y’all business,” Monty said as he headed back out the door. But, then he turned back around and said, “Oh yeah, somebody needs to turn the car off outside before one of the neighbors get suspicious.”

  “Go ahead and handle that for me but make sure you don’t leave no finger prints.”

  “A’ight. But, whatcha’ want me to do with the keys?” he asked.

  “Leave ‘em in the car ‘cause we gon’ be heading out of here in a few minutes.”

  “Want me to go back to my spot?”

  “Nah,” I said as I pulled the keys from my pockets and handed them to him. “Here, go and sit in the car and wait for us.”

  “A’ight,” he said and headed back out the door.

  Meanwhile, Quincy and I figured out a way to get Sasha to lure Lloyd out of the gambling spot, so we could take his fat ass out. But before we exited the crib, I made Sasha tell us where that nigga kept the rest of his stash. She lead us to two central air vents located in the walls of their bedroom. Inside the vents we found close to one hundred thousand dollars. It wasn’t close to the amount of dough they took from me, but it was better than nothing. So, once we had the money tightly secured on our bodies, we grabbed Sasha up and head back outside.

  “Remember, Quincy, I want you and Amir to ride with Monty while I jump in the backseat of Lloyd’s joint with Sasha. I want y’all to stay back some so that nigga won’t notice y’all and try to make a run for it. Because remember, if we don’t get him tonight, then we ain’t gon’ ever be able to get him.”

  “I gotcha,” Quincy assured me and then we all pulled out.

  Three minutes into the drive, Sasha’s cell phone started ringing, so I pointed the gun directly at her and asked her who was calling.

  “It’s Lloyd,” she replied after she picked up the phone and looked at the caller ID.

  “How far are we away from him right now?”

  “About two minutes.”

  “How far is that in walking distance?” I asked her.

  “About another mile.”

  “All right, answer the phone and tell him somebody just hit you and drove off. When he asks you where you’re at? Tell ‘em you’re right up the street from him. So, you’ll need him to come where you are until the police gets here.”