Life After Wifey

by Kiki Swinson

  When they landed across the bridge of her nose, she went crazy.

  “Oh bitch, I’m gon’ kill you now,” she snapped, twisting my arm so I could drop the curlers.

  I held on to them for dear life and just kept swinging. When she realized that I wasn’t going to let them go, she kicked me dead in my crotch and the pain from that blow had every nerve in my body screaming out. My knees buckled under the weight of my body and in slow motion I fell to the floor. Rhonda immediately jumped down on top of me.

  “Yeah bitch, I gotcha now,” she screamed as she stood over me and threw a barrage of punches.

  Her fists were coming from the left and right. All I could do was lay in the fetal position with one hand covering my head and the other one holding my crotch. I was helpless as hell and for a few seconds I couldn’t defend myself. Then, as the pain in my pussy started subsiding, I turned over on my back and started throwing more blows. The front door to the shop swung open and Tabitha was standing there with her mouth wide open.

  “Oh my God! What are you doing?” Tabitha yelled and she rushed over to where we were fighting.

  Winded by all the physical contact, Rhonda managed to say, “This bitch hit me first so I’m teaching her a muthafucking lesson!”

  “Them weak-ass punches you throwing at me ain’t shit you fucking hoe!”

  “Look, I know y’all upset but y’all are gonna have to break this shit up before one of our customers comes in here,” Tabitha told Rhonda as she attempted to pull her off me.

  “Get off me, Tabitha,” Rhonda warned her.

  “Nah, ‘cause y’all need to stop this crazy-ass shit,” Tabitha continued as she latched on to Rhonda’s arm.

  I don’t know if it was Tabitha’s strength or Rhonda’s willingness to give in, but she allowed Tabitha to pull her off me. As soon as she got up and turned her back, I got up on my feet and kicked that bitch dead in her ass. Believe me, she wasn’t prepared for that one because she stumbled a little bit and lost her balance. It was just enough for me to bounce back and go toe to toe with her ass again. As I reached over to tag her stinky ass again, Tabitha jumped in the middle and the punch I threw landed on her.

  “Wait a minute, you hit me,” Tabitha yelled.

  “My bad,” I said, as I stepped back a few feet. “But, I was trying to hit that bitch!” I pointed in the direction of Rhonda.

  “Oh, so you ain’t had enough?”

  “Nah, bitch! I didn’t have enough, so what’s up?” I stood back with a smirk on my face.

  Of course, nothing jumped off. Tabitha grabbed Rhonda’s arm again and pulled her in the opposite direction toward the back office. Rhonda told me that she was quitting and when she left, she was taking all the customers with her. I said, “I don’t give a fuck! Take all dem’ hoes with you! Trust me, they ain’t gon’ make or break this muthafucking shop!”

  “Yeah, we’ll see,” Rhonda said.

  “So, when you leaving?”

  “As soon as I get all my shit out of here.”

  “Well, that ain’t quick enough,” I told her. “So, how ‘bout you have your ass out of here by tomorrow.”

  “I’mma tell you now that I ain’t gon’ be out of here by tomorrow. So, you might as well cancel that.”

  “Oh yes, the hell you are,” I yelled.

  “Yeah, whatever! ‘Cause you ain’t making no kind of sense.”

  “I guess I can show you better than I can tell you,” I told her as I grabbed my hand bag from off the floor and head toward the front door.

  “I guess we’ll see then.”

  “Fuck you, you ol’ poor ass bitch,” I screamed, walking out the door. Right before the door slammed behind me, Rhonda said something to Tabitha but whatever she uttered wasn’t loud enough for me to hear. I just let that one go over my head. Since I was already en route to my car, I totally ignored her and kept it moving.

  Still shocked about what had just went down between Rhonda and me, I tried to pull myself together and gather my thoughts cruising down Virginia Beach Boulevard toward Norfolk. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed up my grandmother while I took a quick assessment of my battle wounds in my rearview mirror. From the looks of things, my face was scratched up pretty badly. But, it wasn’t bad enough that I needed medical attention. I figured I would be all right.

  Since I had some time on my hands I made a trip back home to clean myself up because I was looking real rough. As soon as I got in the door, I headed straight to my bathroom, pulled out a first aid kit and went to work. When that was done, I grabbed my big bag of Sun Chips out of my pantry, a cold bottle of spring water out of my refrigerator and took my butt into my living room to watch television. I tuned to a couple of old movies and, surprisingly, I enjoyed them. When I checked time it was a little after one in the afternoon and I remembered that I needed to get Quincy on the phone.

  He was unavailable when I called the car wash but he did leave word with the parking attendant for me to meet him there by two o’clock. About thirty seconds after I pulled up into the parking lot, I saw Quincy driving into the service area located at the back of the car wash, talking to a chick.

  I couldn’t see exactly how she looked because her back was facing me but I was able to see her entire backside along with everybody standing out there. Oh yeah, home girl had an audience and a half watching her as she made small talk with Quincy. Before I exited my vehicle, I threw on my sunshades to hide my battle scars and made my way over to where they were standing.

  “I see punctuality is one of your strong suits,” I commented the moment I walked up on him.

  “Not all the time,” he replied. Before he had a chance to continue what he was about to say, home girl turned toward me and when I saw who it was, I just stood there in shock. I couldn’t stop my mouth from moving.

  “Oh my God, Sunshine,” I said as my heart dropped.

  In return, she gave me one of her cheesy smiles and asked, “What’s up Nikki?”

  Shocked, Quincy asked, “Damn, how y’all know each other?”

  “She use to do hair at Kira’s shop,” I told him as the blood flowing through my veins started boiling. Feelings I had buried inside of me for this chick resurfaced in that instant. All I could think about was that Sunshine went behind Kira’s back and fucked Ricky while she was working for her. Now, tell me how grimy is that? Well, they say you reap what you sow. Right after Ricky got Sunshine her own shop, the Feds rushed in on her and locked her dumb ass up for affiliating with him. I couldn’t believe that this hoe was standing right in front of me acting like we was cool or something. So, in a nice way, I asked her how the hell she got out of jail.

  “I won my appeal,” she told me.

  “When did you get out?”

  “I’ve been home about a week now.”

  “So, where you at?”

  “Whatcha mean?”

  “Ay, y’all, excuse me for a minute. I gotta go into my office and do something right quick,” Quincy interjected.

  “A’ight,” Sunshine said.

  I just gave him the okay by nodding my head. Immediately after he rushed off, I turned my attention back on Sunshine. “Now what was I saying?”

  “You was asking me where was I at?”

  “Oh yeah, I wanted to know where you were working?”

  “Oh, I’m not doing anything right now but I plan to get back in the swing of things as soon as I get other things in order.”

  “Well, I wish you the best ‘cause it’s real hard out here.”

  “Too late ‘cause I’m already feeling it. But, I’m a smart girl so I’ll be all right.”

  “Yeah, you will,” I said with certainty. “But, hey, I gotta go holler at Q. for a minute. I’ll talk to you later.” As I was about to walk off, she said, “Hey Nikki.”

  I turned back around and Sunshine said, “Look, I know you don’t like me on the strength of your cousin. But, I gotta say that I am truly sorry to hear about what happened to her.”

  “Y
ou don’t have to be sorry.”

  “I know I don’t but I just had to say it. Not only that, I know what I did with her husband was foul but, believe me, I’m paying for it now. I can’t sleep at night because my conscience is killing me. My family is shitting on me and I really ain’t got nowhere to go. If I could turn that clock back and get some of this bad karma off me, I would do it. Kira didn’t deserve none of that shit I took her through.”

  “I appreciate you saying all of that, Sunshine, but it wasn’t all your fault. Ricky got what he deserved, too.”

  “Yeah, I know but I just had to get that off my chest. You know what’s so crazy? If I would not have seen you today, I was gon’ take a trip up to the shop so I could tell you exactly what I’m saying right now.”

  “Well, you would’ve sure been wasting you time going up to the shop,” I commented nonchalantly.

  “Why? Y’all closed down?”

  “Nah, there’s just a whole bunch of phony ass bitches that work there is all.”

  “Are Rhonda and Tabitha still there?”

  “Oh yeah, but not for long,” I replied sarcastically.

  “Why? I mean, what y’all got beef with each other now?”

  “Yep, we sure do.”

  “Damn, I thought y’all were cool?”

  “I thought we were too but I found out different. I just tried to take her fucking head off!”

  Utterly surprised by what I was saying, she placed her hand over her mouth and said, “Wait, y’all were fighting?”

  “We sure was.”

  Sunshine chuckled a bit and said, “Damn! I just can’t believe that.”

  “Well, believe it,” I told her. “But, I ain’t gon’ worry about it ‘cause she ain’t gon’ be doing hair in there much longer.”

  “I’m sorry that you’re going through all that drama.”

  “Shit, don’t feel sorry for me, ‘cause I’m all right,” I assured her. “To hear you say that to me really shows me that jail sure has changed you.”

  “It did. But you know what? I didn’t think I was all that bad when I was out there.”

  “Shiid, you could’ve fooled me,” I commented sarcastically, “because you were the biggest bitch in town. No one liked you ‘cause they knew you would go after their man if he had some dough.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I can’t argue with that. Let me set the record straight and say that Ricky pursued me. It wasn’t the other way around.”

  “Okay, he probably did but that still didn’t make it right. I mean, where was your conscience?”

  “I guess I didn’t have one.”

  “Damn right you didn’t! The fact that you worked for Kira, laughed in her face and was her husband’s mistress was a bit much!”

  “Shit! I wasn’t the only chick he was fucking with.”

  “Everybody knew that. But, I need to know why you did it?”

  “It wasn’t like me and Kira was the best of friends and Ricky was kicking out a lot of fucking money. I mean, he use to give me anything I asked for. He didn’t care about prices plus his personality was addictive. I swear, it seemed like every time me and him got together and hung out, I couldn’t get enough of him.”

  “Oh really.”

  “Yes, that’s why I didn’t want to give him up.”

  “But he wasn’t yours to have.”

  “Yeah, I know all that but when he was with me, it felt like he was mine.”

  “Did he ever tell you that he was going to leave Kira?”

  “Nope, he sure didn’t. What’s crazy is that I use to threaten to break off our relationship if he didn’t leave Kira.”

  “And what would he say?”

  “He told me I could do whatever but he was not leaving his wife.”

  Surprised by her answer, I said, “Oh, so the nigga had a heart, huh?”

  “Nikki, you may not believe it but Ricky had a heart of gold. He was so sweet it was ridiculous. The fact that he would sit back with me and tell me about shit that bothered him also showed me that he had a sensitive side.”

  “Girl, please, that nigga ain’t have shit! He was an asshole just like the rest of these ballers out here that think they got a little bit of power.”

  “Nah, Nikki, Ricky wasn’t like that.”

  “Yeah, whatever. I know first hand about all the shit that nigga use to take my cousin through. I ain’t gon’ lie, when I first found out that you was fucking him, I wanted to take a trip over to that new shop Ricky put you in and rip your head off.”

  “So, what stopped you?” Sunshine asked nonchalantly.

  “Kira stopped me,” I told her. “She told me not to worry about it ‘cause you were going to get back everything you did to her.And she was right.”

  “Yep, she sure was. I ain’t gon’ lie to you when I say that when them damn Feds ran up in my shop and arrested me for dealing with Ricky, I was no more good. I was sick as a dog.”

  “I’m sure you was. But, if you could do it all over again, would you fuck around with him?”

  “After all that time the judge wanted me to do, hell nah! I would’ve left that nigga right where he was.”

  I laughed at the way Sunshine expressed herself and said, “I’m glad you learned a lesson from all of this and it was good talking to you. I gotta run in here and talk to Quincy right quick. I’ll see you again.”

  “A’ight, you take care.”

  “I will. You do the same,” I told her with much sincerity.

  Actuality, after talking with home girl, I kind of saw her in a different light. She seemed to have developed some morals and I applauded her efforts to be honest and apologetic about what she did to Kira. I just hoped, for her sake, that she learned something from all of this. If she hadn’t, she was gonna always be in that slump. Maybe the next time shit hit the fan it would be too late.

  Quincy was about to walk out back outside when I opened up the door to go in. He stopped in his tracks and said, “Come on in.”

  I followed him into his office, took a seat in one of his office chairs and asked, “So, you trying to hook up with Sunshine, huh?”

  He chuckled and said, “Nah, not really. But, if she wanna give me some pussy, then I’ll take it.”

  I laughed back at him. “You are so crazy!”

  “Nah, I ain’t crazy. Trust me, I got plenty of sense.”

  “You know she used to fuck around with Ricky while she was working for Kira?”

  “Nah, man, I don’t believe that.”

  “Well, believe it ‘cause I ain’t gon’ lie about some shit like that.”

  “So, why you ain’t whip her ass?” He asked in a joking manner.

  “She wasn’t fucking my man!”

  “So, what was y’all talking?”

  “She was just apologizing to me for what she did to Kira.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I told her it was okay.” I switched the subject. “Hey, enough about your peoples. We need to talk about the lawyer for Syncere.”

  “Did he say which one he wanted to represent him?”

  “Yeah, he told me to hire Taliaferro.”

  “I kind of figured he would.”

  “Wait. You haven’t talked to him?”

  “Nope, not since that time you called me on three-way.”

  “He sent me up here to get the money so I can take it to the lawyer.”

  “How much you need?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

  “Seventeen hundred.”

  “That’s for the bail hearing, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “A’ight, here you go.” He peeled a handful of fifty-dollar bills from a stack of dough he pulled out of his pants pocket.

  “Think I can get some gas money out of that knot you’re toting?” I asked, smiling.

  “Oh, you know you’re good for it.” He peeled off three more fifty-dollar bills and handed them to me.

  “Thank you,” I replied as I stuffed the money away in my handbag
.

  “What time you got to see the lawyer?”

  “I’ve got no specific time but I’m gonna go by his office as soon as I leave here.”

  “So, when is he gon’ be able to get Syncere in court?”

  “He told me he’d be able to do it by the end of the week.”

  “Ahhh damn, that’s what’s up! Look, I wantcha‘ to hook me up wit somebody.”

  “Hook you up with who?”

  “With one of your home girls. ‘Cause, check it out, I just moved in my new place a couple of days ago so I’m looking for somebody I can chill with tonight.”

  “You don’t need me to hook you up when you got Sunshine waiting patiently for you outside.”

  He smiled and commented by saying, “I don’t want her. I mean, let’s be real. What can I do with a chick just coming from the joint? Nothing but give me some of that phat ass she got.”

  “Damn Q., you are so grimy.”

  “No, I’m not. ‘Cause, she’s looking for somebody to take care of her and I ain’t in the business of doing shit like that.”

  “I heard that,, I commented sarcastically and then I smiled.

  “So, whatcha gon’ do? You gon’ hook me up or what?”

  I stood up from the chair and said, “Quincy, I gotta go.”

  Giving me a disappointed look. he asked, “So, you ain’t gon’ look out for me?”

  “You don’t need my help,” I assured him.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “No, you don’t. And anyway, I don’t have any friends.”

  “What about dem chicks you work with at the salon?”

  “Oh, trust me, you don’t want none of them Section-8 bitches that work up in there.”

  “Shit, I ain’t looking for a wifey. I just want somebody to chill with.”

  “And you got ol’ Sunshine outside.”

  “Come on, stop playing with me.”

  “I’m not playing.”

  “Well, whatcha doing later?”

  “I’m going to see the lawyer first and then I’m going home.”