The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse

by Troy Veenstra

  As stated before, there are over 200 plus studies and surveys that show, or rather, prove that women are just as, if not more, prone to using violence in a relationship. Some of these studies even show that women are usually the first to use violence. Have used violence by slapping, hitting, biting, kicking and gouging and are more prone to use and/or threaten to use a knife against their partner.

  However, finding them online can be time consuming because of the circular reasoning stated above. Furthermore, those that represent the VAWA and other women against domestic violence organizations instantly discredit these studies, because they are privately funded and not supported by the government, thus in their eyes making them invalid…circular reasoning at its best.

  According to Political author, David L. Fontes, the reason why the feminist movement has placed pressure on organizations to ignore men as victims is that “any discussion on the problem of ‘battered men’ is considered politically incorrect. As feminist and other advocates against domestic violence, are primarily, if not exclusively interested in showcasing the maltreatment of females by males in our society and are not particularly interested in showcasing the maltreatment of males by females, especially in the area of spousal abuse and child abuse (David Fontes).” Erin Pizzey, founder of the first battered woman’s shelter, which started in 1972, believes that the reason why feminist have such views is. “Because they have focused their attention on the oppression and victimization of women, it is very difficult for them to acknowledge domestic violence against men by the women they have focused to assist, furthermore by doing so could de-emphasize the services being provided to abused women, thus threatening the budgets allocated for woman’s shelters and services.” Simple stated, “If we acknowledge that men can be abused by women, we take away from the funds we get to support those same women,” (Cook, 1997). It seems as with all things filled with great intentions, it always boils down to the funds than the purpose of the intention.

  Women are Violent Creatures Too

  You may think that female violence is something new, that Male Domestic Abuse is something just recently brought into question over the past few decades, but again, the full truth has been hidden from you.

  Though abuse made by women on men can be traced back through several centuries, it wasn’t made a serious issue of study until around 1974 when researcher R.J. Gelles’ study on Domestic Violence found that, “the eruption of conjugal violence occurred with equal frequency among both husbands and wives (Gelles R. J., 1974).” This was researched in greater detail when in 1977 sociologist Suzanne Steinmetz wrote on a series of five surveys based around the then highly accepted “Conflict Tactic Scale” or CTS. This scale of testing was developed in 1971, to measure the degree of family violence by breaking physical violence in the home into eight categories. Using these five surveys, she created a study she entitled, “The Battered Husband Syndrome.” In this syndrome, Steinmetz showed that, “husbands and wives are roughly equal in their use of any form of physical violence (Steinmetz, 1977).

  Though the first three surveys Steinmetz used were based on her own individual works, the forth survey was a national survey done by the Family Violence Research Laboratory. This survey agreed with Steinmetz initial findings, and went a step further by showing that for the year of 1975, “12% of both husbands and wives had used violence against their mate (Steinmetz, 1977),” thus showing that the percentage of women and men, husbands and wives, who use violence against the other, was equal.

  The fifth survey (Crime Survey); however, showed or rather suggested that husbands, or men in relationships were prone to use violence at a greater rate than wives, however, this study was also bias in part as half the information for it came from police and social services reports. These reports had already selected or rather based the premise of their research on male domestic violence against women.

  Despite the bias found in the fifth survey the one common thread or rather the one thing that all five survey’s showed consistency was that, “Women not only used violence at rates similar to men, BUT (emphasis added), that women matched, and often exceeded, husbands in the frequency with which they engaged in violent behavior (Steinmetz, 1977).”

  This all said however, when Steinmetz disclosed her findings and sources to the media in 1977 the media tossed aside the first four surveys. Focusing more on the controversy that husbands used violence in a relationship more so than their female counterparts, thus blowing the findings of the actual study out of proportion and consequently used their “Media Shadowboxing,” to control what could be and should be acceptable by our society. This “Media Shadowboxing,” has continued even now as I write these words to paper.

  In 1985, the Family Research Laboratory conducted another survey with the intention of either support or dismissing the 1977 survey conducted by Steinmetz. This survey interviewed 6,002 households with an oversample of 508 black households and 516 Hispanic households.

  The research team in the 1985 survey used twice the size as the original 1975 survey (Steinmetz survey), as well as oversamples of minority groups and populations in certain states that were at risk of being under-represented. The findings in this survey confirmed Steinmetz original findings as she noted in 1977, furthermore the 1985 survey found that, “Women were twice as likely to throw something at their husbands or live in boyfriend. Women were also more likely to kick, bite, punch, hit, try to hit, and threaten to use a knife or a gun. Whereas men were more likely to push, grab, shove, slap, or use a gun than a knife (Richard J Gelles & Murray A. Straus, 1989).”

  In 1992 the Family for Violence Research Laboratory conducted yet another survey, this survey just as the 1975 and 1985 survey again confirmed that women (wives) engage in intimate violence at a rate comparable to husbands (Kantor, 1994). This study showed a growing trend when applied to the previous studies done in 1985 and 1975. In comparing the 1975 study against the 1985 study, researchers found that male violence against women had declined by 21% however; female violence against men remained constant. In comparing this trend with the 1985 study to the 1992 study, researchers found that male violence against women in an intimate relationship had dropped by nearly 37% and nearly a 50% drop in an overall comparison of the 1975 survey to the 1992 survey.

  Women are not only violent to their spouses or lovers but to their children as well. For instance studies have shown that over 2/3’s of the child abuse committed in America by a parent was committed by the mother (Murder in families, NCJ-143498), 55% of mothers are more likely than the fathers to murder their children, and mothers are 64% more likely to kill their sons more often than their daughters (Ditson & Shay, 1984)

  The Feminist Control

  Despite this, I bet you never heard of these studies, nor the nearly 200 other studies that have anything showing, detailing, or listing as possible truth that men could be victimized by the weaker, powerless sex but I am sure you’ve heard of, or read several other studies that show the reverse.

  For instance, the National Violence Against Women conducted a study in 1997, which surveyed approximately 16,000 households divided equally into men and women. Its findings showed that men physically assaulted their female partners 3 times more than women assaulted their male lovers; however, this study is biased as it is classified as a “Crime Survey,” which is purposely designed to show a much higher rate of injury not acts of violence. Crime studies “are presented to respondents as a study of crime, crime victimization, personal safety, injury, or violence, rather than as studies of family problems and conflicts as most male domestic abuse studies; Family conflict studies show a much higher rate of assaults (Straus, 1999).” Depending on the type of survey used to support and obtain the data, “600,000 to 6 million women are victims of domestic violence each year, and between 100,000 to 6 million men (Gelles & Staus, 1990).” In addition to this startling bias, research has shown that Feminist funded studies have also added to the scope of abuse by men towards women to include such non-ph
ysical, and non-violent areas such as, “acts of lying, humiliation, withholding information, sharing of wealth, and refusing to help with child care or housework (Sally L. Satel, 1997).”

  As mentioned above, current government sponsored funding into the research of domestic violence, refuses to fund studies on men being abused by women, as in their eyes men cannot be victims of a non-existent crime.

  For example, the Center for Disease Prevention and Control (CDC) has a list on their website for programs designed to prevent violence against women, these programs stress services to women, but contain no information services available to men (Detschelt, 2011). Thus leaving it to each state to determine if abuse of a male by a female is, a crime, or finding as Ellen Pence, founder of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project and a leader in the battered women’s movement stated, “Domestic Violence against men is just not a social problem (Lewin, 1992).”

  Defending Female Violence against Men

  “I have never forgiven you for the way you looked at me the first time I hit you.”

  “How did I look,” I asked.

  “You looked hurt and shocked… angry and disgusted with me,”

  “How should I have looked after you hit me?” I asked

  “I needed you to understand how I was feeling at the time. I needed your support, not your anger, your disgust.” She said. “That was the day she stabbed me in the arm, the day I found the courage to leave.”

  Feminist as a whole view all forms of domestic abuse as an, “Essential element of the vast male conspiracy to suppress and subordinate women, not through one individual male but with the patriarch society as a whole (Sally L. Satel, 1997).” As such, the only reason men use violence against women is to maintain the essences of the patriarch society. In laymen terms, some feminist believe that men use violence against women to remain “All powerful,” and therefore in order to do this, one must use violence against the “completely powerless” (does that sound like a certain kind of reasoning?).

  In any case, because of this belief, several feminist groups have come to the decision to admit that, “yes women use violence as much as men do,” but they make sure to add, “However, women only use violence as self-defense against their abusive male partners.” Though this would be a great opening statement in court, this defenses loses momentum when we look at the amount of domestic violence against women by women in same-sex relationships.

  A 1994 study on Intra-Lesbian violence concluded that, “54% of lesbians reported having been physically assaulted in their current relationship by their female lover as opposed to on 14% of gay men reporting abuse by their male lovers (Lie & Gentlewarrior, 1994.)”

  Despite these findings on lesbian domestic violence, feminist and supporting advocates that defend violence against men as self-defense offer no statistical or supportive information to their defense and again just rely on the circular reasoning notion that men are all powerful and women are completely powerless, thus to them it is a justifiable defense because it’s a defense that’s justifiable.

  That said if we take things a step further and take their belief that women only use violence as self-defense against their abusive male lovers there are statistics that even show this defense to be in error.

  For instance, a 5-year study conducted around nearly 1000 women in California concluded that nearly 20% of the women surveyed admitted to physical aggression against their male lovers (Fiebert & Gonzales, 1997). When asked, the most common reason the women in the study gave for assaulting their male lovers were, “(1) My partner wasn’t sensitive to my needs; (2) I wished to gain my partner’s attention and; (3) My partner was not listening to me.”

  When asked for a more detailed reason as to why they assaulted their male partners their answers gave light to the simplistic ideals embedded in our consciousness due to our society’s use of social conditioning over the years. The women in this survey gave the five following reasons as their most favorable answers: “(1) Men can readily protect themselves so I don’t worry when I become physically aggressive (24% agreed). (2) I have found that men have been TRAINED (Conditioned) not to hit a woman and therefore I am not fearful of retaliation from my partner (19% agreed). (3) I believe if women truly are equal to men, then I should be able to physically express my anger to them (13% agreed). (4) I leaned when growing up that I could be physically aggressive towards my brother(s) and they wouldn’t fight back (12% agreed) and (5) I sometimes find when I express my anger physically I become turned on sexually, (8% agreed).” Interesting to note that from this study the reasoning of self-defense was at the very low end of reasons for using physical aggression toward their male lover.

  In two studies conducted by the same researcher, a year apart of each other, each study found that the most common type of male behavior that resulted in abuse by a female lover or spouse was some minor violation of the household rules, (i.e., leaving the toilet seat up, forgetting to take the garbage out etc.) (Sarantakos, 1999). This study found that the three most common reasons women gave for abusing their male partners were, “(1) to resolve the argument, (2) to respond to family crisis, (3) To “Stop him bothering me!”

  Several other studies have been done as well, each study concluding the same basic findings that women are not only the partner who initiated the act of violence but they also did so for reasons other than self-defense.

  For example a survey in 1986 reported that, “As many as 73% of women who used violence against their husbands stated that they had used violence first (Bland & Orn, 1986).” A 1992 study reported that “nearly 53% of the women in their sample initiated Violence against their lover, (Stets & Straus, 1992).”

  Legal Terrorism

  In 1977 the feminist movement was still growing to a massive scale, as such when Steinmetz brought her findings to the public it was not well received; in fact, many women rights organizations, and feminist groups found that though Steinmetz was female she was an activist for anti-feminism. Thus, Steinmetz, her findings, and even the research model in which her findings were based upon were attacked on a massive scale.

  However, it did not end there, as Steinmetz and her family was threatened with acts of violence by hate mail, threatening phone calls and even death and bomb threats, thus terrorizing her and her family’s lives on a day-to-day basis. Furthermore, at the University of Delaware where she taught, every female faculty member was lobbied by women’s right organizations in an attempt to prevent Steinmetz from receiving her tenure.

  Additionally, because the public, influenced by the media and feminist organization had already considered Steinmetz as an Anti-feminist activist, her work on the subject was deemed biased on its own face value.

  It should be also noted that other researchers that were looking into the idea of husband abuse, or rather male domestic abuse were also being treated in the same way and thus most researchers since that time have shied away from doing such reports for fear of retaliation by the terrorist movement known as extreme feminism.

  Chapter Conclusion

  Though it may sound as if I have some sort of hatred or grudge towards females or that I am against female rights, let me state openly that I am not. The purpose of this chapter was not to de-emphasize the principle truths of domestic violence or violence against women by men as I fully admit it happens and something needs to be done to stop such abuse.

  That said the purpose of this chapter was to open your eyes to the truth behind truth. Before reading this chapter, the idea of a man being abused by his female lover may have seemed like something only heard of in rumor or something of an isolated and/or random event to you. The purpose of this chapter was to open your eyes to such random, isolated rumors, to let you see the truth hidden behind the deception and ignorance, the notion that Domestic Violence is not just a female only issue but also that men, just as well as women are victims of domestic abuse.

  As you will see in the next chapter, women can be and are at times just as dangerous, just as contr
olling and abusive as men, and their anger, rage and use of violence can and sometimes does lead to the death of their abused victim, as was the case with Jeff Dryden.

  The chapter that follows details the findings by the Medical Examiner at Chiquita’s preliminary hearing. These findings are descriptive in nature and prove beyond reasonable doubt (in my opinion at least) that Jeff was being physically abused. These findings also indicate and display the last minutes of Jeff’s life, and the torture, which Chiquita placed upon him before inflicting the deathblow.

  At the beginning of this chapter, I asked you what was the first image that came to your mind when you thought of domestic violence, knowing that most would see a woman being abused by their dominating male lover. I asked you what type of woman you envisioned; was she timid and shy, or was she strong and ready to strike back against her abuser… I wonder now, after reading all the statistical data above, after reading the conspiracy set in motion by the feminist movement.

  After reading and learning about their terroristic tactics to keep the truth hidden from the public, from our society, I wonder if you will still envision a woman being abused every time you think of domestic violence. I wonder if you will be able to open your mind, open your eyes and begin to think on your own as you read the next chapter. Will you be able to see it? Will you begin to see the truth hidden behind the lies, the truth hidden behind truth?

  CHAPTER 11: AUGUST 19 2010

  PRE-TRAIL HEARING

  “I was scared that someone would get hurt by Chiquita’s friends and family. The first time we went to court, there was a woman sitting on her side and she had a red shirt on. She stared at me the whole time, and when I would turn to look at her, made these terrible gestures at me.” ---Paula Dryden (Victims Mother)