Love of a Rockstar

by Nicole Simone

  As I approached the theater, a line a mile along stretched around the block. What took me by surprise was the mix of people. Men, women, and young girls with their hair coiffed, faces painted, and dresses skankier than mine. Evil glares were shot my way as I went around back. A man with bulging muscles blocked the metal door from entry. Although I told Luke I wouldn’t come tonight, I crossed my fingers my name was still on the list.

  “Hi,” I said perkily. The man’s expression remained impassive. “My name is Marlene.”

  “No entry,” he grunted.

  Was this guy dense? I knew there was no entry or else he wouldn’t be standing here.

  “I understand that, but you see, Luke told me to come to the show tonight,” I said.

  The big brute had the audacity to raise his eyebrows at me as if I was lying. My fist curled at my side. “Swear to god he did.”

  His eyebrows shot further into his hairline. “Is that so?”

  This was ridiculous; I was wasting time arguing with this man about my legitimacy when I could be inside.

  “Fine, I’ll call him.”

  I punched in Luke’s number on my cell phone. After the sixth ring, it became abundantly clear he wasn’t going to answer. Shit to the third degree. The bodyguard crossed his tattooed arms over his chest and widened his stance. I dropped my cell phone back in my bag, embarrassed.

  “Alright lady, move along,” the man said.

  I tried to pull a solution to this conundrum from thin air. Except, there was none to be found. The best I could do was plead.

  I pressed my hands together in a praying position. “Please, just talk to Luke. He knows me.”

  “That’s what they all say,” the man grumbled.

  “I understand, but they don’t have a kid with Luke. I do.” I grappled for the picture I kept of Nil in my wallet and showed it to the bodyguard. “See, isn’t their resemblance uncanny?”

  His face hardened. “If you think I’m letting you inside so you can demand child support, you’re even crazier than I thought.” He pointed to the edge of the parking lot. “Leave,” he growled.

  Not wanting to get arrested, I huffed out a frustrated breath and complied. How did tonight end up so badly? I checked my phone to see if Luke called, but he hadn’t. The show started in less than twenty minutes. He was probably doing a final sound check or whatever musicians do before a show.

  I watched as three girls with matching blonde hairstyles sauntered up to the bodyguard. Although, it was difficult to hear what they said, their body language was clear. They wanted to get backstage. Good luck, I thought bitterly to myself. That door wasn’t going to open for anybody. The girl with the darker hair of the three, touched the burly man’s chest, threw her head back, and laughed, as if he was the funniest man in the universe, which he wasn’t. He had as much personality as a pencil. In amazement, I watched the bodyguard open the door for them.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I cursed.

  The two girls sauntered inside while the other one got the bodyguard’s number, leaving the door ajar. This was my chance. I broke into a full on sprint toward the entrance praying my heels didn’t fail me and cause me to wipe out. With the bodyguard’s back to me, I slipped into the long narrow hallway unseen. Just as I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, a stranger’s voice sounded out behind me.

  “Hey, do you have permission to be in here?”

  I looked over my shoulder to see a man dressed in jeans and a basketball cap, eyeing me suspiciously. Jesus, this place had tighter security than an airport. I ignored his question and quickened my pace. Luke had to be behind one of these doors.

  “Hey, young lady!” the man yelled.

  Being called young lady brightened my mood, but it didn’t remove the panic from my beating heart. If only Luke had given my name to the ogre outside, I wouldn’t have found myself in this situation. The sound of approaching footsteps turned my pace into a run.

  “Hey!” the man yelled again.

  “Luke!” I called out as I navigated the twisting hallway.

  Glancing behind me, I saw the man close on my heels. His eyes lit with anger. If I were caught, there was no doubt I would see the inside of a jail cell tonight instead. My attention distracted, I ran straight into something hard, knocking the wind out of me.

  “Ooof,” I said. A pair of male hands clamped around my upper arms. I tried to wiggle free but he was stronger than me. With nothing left to do, I gave into my fate.

  BACKSTAGE, I STARED at the cement floors, scared to look up. My mind raced. Who was going to bail me out of jail? My mother wouldn’t, at least not without a lecture first. Camille had class tonight till ten, but she was the better choice over my mother. Several hours in jail wouldn’t be that bad. In that amount of time, I could make best friends with my jail mate, a big lady with a name like Rowanda, the man killer. Oh God, what did I get myself into?

  “What’s going on here?”

  At the sound of Luke’s voice, I glanced up, relieved to see his beautiful face. The rock hard object I had run into was his chest. Should have figured that one. He was built like a log.

  “She isn’t suppose to be back here,” the guard said

  Luke trained his gaze on the guy’s face. “Well, I say she is.”

  The moron in question stood there, dumbfounded. “But—”

  Luke let go of my arms and took a menacing step toward him. “Leave.”

  Taking the hint, he skittered off down the hall with his tail between his legs. Luke looked over at me with concern.

  “Are you alright?”

  “A little winded but fine,” I replied.

  “Sorry about that. You came running down the hallway like a bat out of hell. I couldn’t step out of the way fast enough.”

  I scowled. “The stupid bodyguard wouldn’t let me through.”

  “To be fair, you said you wouldn’t come tonight.”

  “Yes, because you have a girlfriend you didn’t tell me about it.”

  “Just like you didn’t tell me about Paris,” Luke shot back.

  A thick tension coated the air as we stared angrily at each other. It was a mistake coming tonight; I didn’t know what I was thinking. His girlfriend could have him.

  “This was a mistake,” I said. “I’m going home.”

  As I turned around, he grabbed my upper arm. “God, I forgot how stubborn you are.”

  I glanced back at him, annoyed. “I’m stubborn because you’re an ass.”

  “No, you’ve always been this way.“ His eyes racked over my red dress with a cocky smile. “By the way, nice dress.”

  Exasperated, I rolled my eyes and yanked my arm out of his hold. “Go run to your girlfriend. Hopefully, she doesn’t find you as annoying as I do.”

  His face grew serious as he bent down to whisper in my ear. “She’s not my girlfriend. We were matched together to benefit our careers.”

  If Luke honestly thought I would buy his lame story, he was in for a wakeup call. I wasn’t a naïve seventeen year old girl anymore.

  “You were on a beach with your tongue down her throat.” I yelled.

  “Keep your voice down,” Luke growled. “And yes I know, but trust me she is an awful kisser. There is zero attraction between us.” His eyes pleaded with me. “Please stay for the concert and I’ll prove how not involved with her I am.”

  Right then, a man with a walkie-talkie to his ear appeared around the bend.

  “You’re expected on stage sir,” he said to Luke.

  “Be there in a second.” Luke glanced back at me, waiting for my answer.

  There was no denying him and his baby blue eyes. Sighing, I crossed my arms.

  “Fine,” I said.

  A mega watt smile tugged at his lips. “Awesome. Stewart will lead you to the right wing where you can watch the concert.” He waved over an older man with sandy brown hair and bright green eyes dressed in all black.

  “Follow me, miss,” Stewart said.

  W
e took a sharp left, then a right, which led us to a space with a view of the stage. A woman stood off to the side, otherwise it was empty.

  “Who’s that?” I asked Stewart before he could leave.

  “Bunny Smith.” he whispered. “The drummer’s wife.”

  Bunny was the last name I would have guessed. With her jet black hair, pale white skin, and blood red lips, she was the modern day equivalent of Snow White. Her classic pencil skirt made me tug down my dress. Next to her, I looked as if I belonged on a pole. Stewart tipped his hat and left me alone with Miss Pure. I had a strong urge to pull out my cell phone to avoid an awkward conversation. It was a tactic I’d used many times before. Just as I was about to slip my hand into my purse, Bunny turned her attention away from the stage and onto me.

  “Sean, the drummer is my husband,” she said in a Minnie Mouse voice. “How about you?”

  I walked over to her side. “Luke, the bass player.”

  “Ah yes, the virgin.”

  The idea of Luke being a virgin made me laugh. That ship sailed long time ago when he was fourteen.

  Bunny grinned. “I know he’s not actually a virgin, but that’s what the band mates call him.”

  “Why?”

  “He never touches any of the groupies.” She nodded over to her husband. “Even my Seany did before we got married. Life of a musician and all that.”

  It was nice to hear that Luke had told the truth about not touching the groupies.

  Bunny leaned in close to whisper a secret. “Rumor has it, his virginal statute is because he walked out on his pregnant girlfriend. Just left her high and dry and never forgave himself.” She slapped her hand over mouth. “Oh boy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

  Luke was the only original band mate left so it made sense nobody knew my past with him.

  “No, it’s OK, I already knew about that,” I said.

  “Really?” Bunny asked. “Do you know who it is?”

  I knew why Luke kept Nil and me his little secret. It was because he didn’t want to shed the spotlight on us, which I greatly appreciated. The last thing I needed in my life was some crazed fan stalking me. Bunny may have seemed pure, but she had all the makings of a gossip queen. If I told her anything about Luke, it would not be kept confidential.

  “Nope.” I shook my head. “No idea.”

  Just as I predicted, she deflated. “Oh.”

  An awkward silence stretched between us. Bunny played with her pearls while I tried to figure out what to say to change the subject. It was always safe to assume people loved talking about themselves.

  “How did you meet Sean?” I asked.

  “At a bank robbery.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” A dreamy smile flitted over her lips. “I was standing in line to deposit some cash when a masked man busted into the bank. Sean tugged me to the ground before I knew what was happening. Once the situation was over, I asked him how I could repay him for his kindness. Sean said with a date. Six months later, we were married.”

  Bunny and Sean’s story sounded as if came straight from the pages of a romance novel. I had to admit I was jealous their story had a happy ending.

  “Wow, I bet you don’t get tired of telling that tale,” I said.

  “You would be correct,” Bunny laughed. “How about you and Luke? I’m guessing you’re dating, unless…”

  I shook my head. “We used to, but not anymore. His tour schedule is too insane.”

  I didn’t feel bad lying, because it was as close to the truth as possible. The only difference was I made it seem as if our breakup was mutual which I wished it had been. Then it wouldn’t have felt like a knife in my chest when Luke left.

  “Smart girl.” Bunny looked over at Sean. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, but he’s gone nine months out of the year. Birthdays, Christmases, and any other major events are usually spent alone. That’s why I don’t want kids until our lives have calmed down.”

  Bunny wasn’t shedding light on anything new, but hearing it said out loud and from somebody with firsthand experience made my heart flutter in panic. If I did end up with Luke, would I be able to handle his absence again?

  Mistaking my panicked expression for pity, Bunny smiled. “I shouldn’t complain though. It’s not the like money is so bad.” She threw her head back and laughed.

  The sparkler on her ring finger was proof of that. It probably cost as much as Nil’s college education. Nonetheless, Luke’s money didn’t mean anything to me. I had loved him when he was poor.

  “Your wedding ring is stunning,” I commented.

  She held the square cut diamond out in front of her. Multifaceted beams of light bounced off of it, nearly blinding me.

  “It’s a family heirloom. At first, I didn’t want a crusty piece of old jewelry, but once Sean dusted off its age, I came to love it,” Bunny said.

  When I was younger, I used to dream about the day Luke would propose. Candles would light the way to a rose garden where Luke would be waiting for me clad in a tuxedo. On a bended knee, he would present a black velvet box, which held a center cut diamond in a platinum setting. As tears streamed down my face, I would mutter a breathless yes. A book lined with countless other scenarios that took place on the beaches of Thailand to the vineyards in northern California was stashed underneath my childhood bed.

  I heard Bunny say something, but deeply engrossed in my own thoughts, I didn’t hear her question. “I’m sorry, say again?”

  She huffed out an annoyed breath of air. Obviously, she wasn’t used to people not listening to her. I bit back a smile.

  “I said, have you ever thought about getting back together with Luke?” Bunny repeated.

  Before I could answer, the lights dimmed and the spotlight shined onto Luke’s band.

  “Hello Seattle!” the leader singer, Matthew shouted.

  The crowd gave an enthusiastic cheer. I heard a distinct “I love you!” from one of their fans. Matthew shot the lucky girl his signature smirk, which garnered another holler from the crowd. “We are The Five Guys. Let’s get to it, shall we? One, two, three!”

  The band launched into their latest hit single, “Love and Nails.” While Matthew was the face, Luke was the brains. He was the songwriter for The Five Guys and his mournful lyrics struck a chord with people everywhere.

  “Inside I'm slowly dying / But the rain will hide my crying / And you, don't you know my tears will burn the pillow / Set this place on fire 'cause I'm tired of your lies,” Matthew crooned.

  Throughout the set, I became increasingly mesmerized under Luke’s spell. He oozed sex appeal and I felt myself grow warm with desire. ,Matthew let out an ear splitting scream before he ended the last song.

  “Alright everybody, thanks so much for coming out…” he said to the audience.

  Luke stepped up to the mic and grabbed it from a surprised Matthew. Whatever was happening wasn’t planned. Bunny shot me a confused glance in which I responded with a shrug.

  Luke set his blue eyes onto mine. “Would a lovely Miss Marlene come onto to the stage please?”

  My body shook with nerves as I looked at him wide eyed. He knew I had a bad case of stage fright ever since I stumbled through my lines in the community production of Fiddler on the Roof when I was in fifth grade.

  “I think she needs a little bit of encouragement,” Luke said.

  The crowd erupted in a chorus of screams. Luke gave me a devilish grin, because he knew I wouldn’t be able to stand the noise for long, and he was right. I tentatively stepped onto the stage underneath the blinding spotlight.

  “Thanks everybody,” he said to the audience who hushed at my presence.

  Luke took my hand into his as my stomach dropped along with his knee. If this was his idea of proving to me he didn’t have a girlfriend, he was an idiot.

  “Marlene, letting you go was my biggest regret, and now that I finally have you back, I don’t want to make that same m
istake twice.” He pulled out a velvet box from his pocket. “Will you marry me?”

  The box popped open to reveal a ring as big as Bunny’s. This had to be a nightmare. Luke knew I was moving to Paris with Finn. Did he honestly think a proposal would change anything? If anything it proved to me Luke was still as selfish as he was four years ago.

  WITH THE SPOTLIGHT on me, a smile plastered itself across my face. It was so silent in the concert hall, you could hear a pin drop. Luke’s eyes clouded with worry as he looked anxiously out at the audience.

  “What did she say?” somebody yelled.

  “Nothing yet,” another person closer to the stage yelled back.

  A murmur arose among the crowd, which caused the grip Luke had on my hand to tighten. Panic caused my throat to run dry. I glanced out into the blackness lit with cell phone screens.

  “Marlene?” Luke whispered.

  I looked down at him bended on one knee and took a step back toward the right wing.

  “I’m sorry.” I said.

  Anguish lined his face. “No, don’t do this.”

  Desperate to get off the stage, I slipped out of his grasp with another tentative backwards step.

  “I am really sorry,” I said again before I turned around and walked past Bunny who looked at me in shock.

  My heels clicked against the cement floors as I navigated my way outside. Once I pushed open the heavy steel door, my body sank against the brick wall. I gulped fresh air into my lungs.

  “What a fucking disaster,” I mumbled to myself.

  Poor Luke rejected in front of thousands of people. But what other choice did I have? I couldn’t lie. There was no doubt in my mind by tomorrow morning, the proposal would be broadcast on every news channel. Luke portrayed as the victim while I would be typecast as the careless bitch. Awesome. A couple of seconds later, the steel door opened and banged against the brick wall. Taken aback, I stumbled to my feet. Luke looked wildly around until he found his victim. Me.

  “I can’t believe you left me on the stage like that,” he screamed.