Hidden Heart

by Camelia Miron Skiba

  Tessa closed her eyes, her heart raced, a wave of heat spreading through her body. Why did he have such an effect on her?

  Later that night, after the sponge bath he gave her by candlelight, Tessa lay awake in Alessandro’s arms. She desperately wanted to tell him about the baby, but lost her courage after seeing him as excited as a boy in a toy store once she agreed to join him in Greece.

  Maybe while in Greece I’ll find the strength to tell him…

  ***

  Their trip had indeed been amazing. He took her to Rethymno, one of the famous Greek Islands, with picturesque landscapes, mountainous villages and Venetian traditional architecture. They strolled down the gold sandy beach at sunset, hand in hand, taking in all the beauty of a place that looked like it had been painted by an angel; the crystal clear sea scalding the hazy red-blue horizon with its waves, seagulls dancing in the sky with their wings widespread before plunging into the cold water for fish. A Venetian fortress overlooked the town with its narrow white houses and blue wooden blinds.

  She had finally asked him about his wife. She knew he’d been married before, she knew that his wife had passed away, but she never felt it was her place to ask questions. Now, that they began seeing each other and learned more and more about their pasts, she asked him one night what had happened to her.

  “We were driving home from a party and it was rainy and dark. A drunk driver lost control of his car and hit us on the passenger side. Rafaela was smashed in her seat and when the ambulance arrived she was already dead. I was taken to the hospital and didn’t know about her death until two weeks later when the doctors thought I was strong enough to take the news. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to her.”

  He paused and didn’t talk for a while. It seemed hard for him to find his words. Tessa squeezed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder as they sat on the warm beach sand facing the endless sea.

  “I spread her ashes atop Mount Etna the same day I met you last year.” He looked sideways at her and kissed her temple. “I’m glad I did it that very same day.”

  “Why?”

  Alessandro looked down at her and caressed her cheek, “Simple. Because I met my angel.”

  She made no other attempt to tell him about the baby during their vacation, but after they returned, she once again tried to tell him about it but failed. Another week had passed by and she still waited for the right moment.

  ***

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “You’ll see; it’s a surprise, and you can’t open your eyes. I’m watching you!”

  She giggled into her palms, eyes closed. “You’re supposed to look at the road while driving, not at me, silly.”

  When he’d picked her up at work that afternoon, Alessandro convinced her to go with him, but she couldn’t see where he took her. She played along, got in the car and let him take her away.

  The car came to a stop. Alessandro unbuckled her seat belt and helped her out.

  “Okay, keep walking…don’t you peek, I warn you…keep walking…now we turn to the right…wait…”

  Tessa heard keys jingle, then a door opened and she walked again directed by Alessandro’s hands pressed on her shoulders. Her eyes shut tight, she assumed he took her into a building, took the elevator and then walked down the hall until they reached a door. He opened it.

  Alessandro held her hand. “Okay, wait a second, don’t move and don’t open your eyes. You get in trouble if you peek!”

  “I’m not, but hurry up, it’s not fair…”

  She heard him walk away from her, the sound of a bottle against ice and glass hitting on glass.

  “How long? What is it?”

  “Now, open your eyes!”

  At the same time the bottle of champagne exploded and its cork hit the ceiling.

  “Welcome to my new office, Ms. Cosma!”

  She let out an excited scream then laughed nervously.

  “Your new office? What do you mean?”

  She looked around the place; a small area at the entry for the reception furnished with a small half moon tall desk, a few leather chairs and small coffee tables diagonal from the entrance, a big and luxuriant plant in the corner by the large window; a conference room with an oval table seating eight people; a large white screen projector on one of the adjacent walls and a white board on the other. And last of all a spacious office with metal and opaque glass furniture, very modern and rich looking.

  He handed her a glass, clinked his against it and embraced her.

  “I resigned from the bank and opened my own financial consulting firm, here in Bucharest. I searched for an affordable office, hired a lawyer to work on all documents, and I even had the first round of interviews for a new secretary today.” He kissed the top of her nose, rubbing his body against hers. “You want to apply for the job?” He took her glass and his and put them next to the ice bucket, then hugged her again rocking her from side to side.

  “Mister Santinelli, you can’t afford me; besides I like to separate business and pleasure.” She purred languorously, blinking lazy lashes. She bit her lower lip and tugged at his tie.

  A groan escaped Alessandro. He pressed against Tessa and squeezed her buttocks beneath her skirt. He lifted her to the desk and pulled away with her panties in hand. He shot Tessa a devious smile and then leaned down and kissed her knee. His kisses worked their way to her inner thigh. Her legs spread, invitingly. She opened his zipper and reached inside his boxers, teasing, squeezing. He unbuttoned her shirt and removed her bra. His mouth moved from one nipple to the other, licking, biting, sucking. In one quick move, he pushed inside her.

  She arched her back and closed her eyes in ecstasy.

  “Well, maybe this will help you change your mind,” he whispered in her ear.

  ***

  Tessa planned a trip to her cabin up in the mountains for the weekend ahead. She felt it was the right place and time to tell Alessandro about the baby and her plans about it.

  She met with a doctor and discussed her options. He explained how an abortion was done, what to expect and how to prepare for it.

  Ever since she’d found out she was pregnant she tried hard to feel something for the baby, to love it and accept it every way possible. But she couldn’t. She still didn’t touch her own belly—other than the quick brush of the sponge during the showers or while applying body lotion afterwards.

  Once she decided upon abortion, all she needed was to tell Alessandro and prepare for it.

  What if he rejected her? What if he left her? What if he packed and disappeared forever from her life? She couldn’t take it any longer. She couldn’t look him in the eyes and keep her secret. No holding back. She needed to be strong and go for it. No matter the consequences. This is it. Today I will tell him.

  ***

  Why is a bird chirping in my room? Please, go away, please. Tessa stirred under the covers, then put a hand over her ear. The chirping continued. There was a frog, she could swear the frog croaked underneath her bed. How was that possible? She squinted one eye then the other. No bird, no frog there; instead, the windows were wide open and the forest’s tumult filled up the air.

  Because of the view, she bought the house. Because of the serenity and intimacy with nature at its core she wanted to call that place hers. From her bedroom window she saw the top of the Carpathians between the clouds. She saw the soaring, lively green fir, pine and spruce woodland that stood in silence and guarded the mountains. She saw the wide valley with its tall, never before touched grass that buzzed with bugs of all forms, sizes and colors.

  Sometimes deer came close, searching for food, their ears pointed up straight and moving in the direction of the sound. She’d held her breath and watched them intently until they sprinted away as fast as they came. Sometimes feisty squirrels came as close as her window sash and jolted with quick, choppy moves, grabbing acorns then running away. She once saw a brown bear nearby while on a winter vacation with several friends. She remembered h
ow frantically they blocked the doors with chairs, turned on the lights outside and made tons of noise hoping the bear would leave. The next morning, they traced his big footprints rounding the cabin and the garbage bin that had been flipped upside down.

  Tessa sat straight in her bed and stretched lazily. She and Alessandro had arrived the night before at her cabin; unfortunately it was already dark and they didn’t have a chance to hike or look around. She showed him the inside of the cabin; two bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom, one large living room opening into the kitchen, a tiny bathroom and another tiny room downstairs. The walls, the floor and the stairs were all covered in fir wood. From the former owner she’d bought pretty much all the rustic furniture, large rugs and a bookcase that covered the entire wall that was opposite from the stone fireplace in the living room. She had loved the place for so long; now it was hers and a feeling of belonging overwhelmed her.

  She flipped the covers away and walked downstairs. She loved the cold wood floor underneath her bare feet.

  Where is Alessandro?

  She walked to the kitchen still wearing Alessandro’s boxers and a t-shirt. She leaned against the doorframe and loved what she saw. There he was, whistling and moving in her kitchen like he knew where everything was placed, so relaxed, so natural. He whisked eggs then flipped bread into the toaster. He saw her when he turned around to place a bowl with fresh fruit and mugs of coffee on the table.

  “Buongiorno, amore mio,” he said cheerfully and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, going back to the stove to check on the eggs.

  “Like a rock,” Tessa answered. She grabbed a couple of strawberries.

  “Have a seat, breakfast is ready.” He pulled the chair for her, then poured green tea in one mug and coffee in the other one.

  Tessa watched him and couldn’t help but smile. She was finally in a relationship with a man that took care of her, spoiled her, cooked for her. For the first time she didn’t have to take the lead, just enjoy life and feel safe and protected. Alessandro gave her what she always longed for, but until now, never received. She finally understood what it meant to be with a real man. She had convinced herself that she was happy all those years with Daniel, that their relationship was the best she could ever experience; how naïve to accept half measure!

  “What’s that smile on your face for?” Alessandro asked, rising an eyebrow.

  “Nothing, I was just thinking…”

  “Okay, you know what happens if you don’t tell.” He knelt, tickling her. Her infectious laughter and her kicks didn’t stop him.

  “Stop, please stop, I’ll tell,” she managed to say between hiccups.

  Alessandro stopped, but didn’t let go of her. She took his face in her palms and looked directly in his eyes. “I…I smiled because you make me happy…”

  Tessa felt on top of the world. She almost blurted out about the baby, but caught herself at the last minute and with a shrug she said, “Let’s eat, we have a long day ahead of us. I want to show you the surroundings. There is a nearby clearing with a rivulet that cuts through it and if we are lucky we’ll see deer, or wild boars or even brown bears.” She widened her eyes and spread her fingers in the air pretending to be one of the scary animals.

  Alessandro stared back at her. He drowned in her big green eyes. He loved feeling her soft and warm palms against his face. She looked angelic with her flushed cheeks, her innocent smile and her tousled long hair falling down her back. When he kissed her, she kissed him back. With the same passion and hunger. In just a few weeks his life had changed so much, he couldn’t be happier. And all of this because of the woman sitting in front of him, so pure, so kind, so beautiful.

  ***

  They hiked and took pictures. Then they hiked more and stopped again for pictures. They hiked again and finally arrived at the clearing. It looked as beautiful as she remembered it; a multitude of colorful frail flowers strewn everywhere, the water stream rushing down the boulders. Fir trees started at the mountain’s base, and continued all the way up the slope.

  Tessa dropped her backpack and knelt on the grass breathing hard. The last hundred meters or so were on a steep hill and took a lot of effort to climb. She reached for her canteen and gulped ice-cold water.

  She waited for Alessandro to say or do something, but he didn’t. He just looked around, hands on his waist and shook his head.

  “If we would’ve met a bear on the way here, I would’ve thought he ate your tongue, but I haven’t seen any, did you?”

  He dropped his backpack then rolled with her in the grass. “Always looking for trouble, aren’t you?”

  She laughed heartedly and the sound bounced back from the slopes around them. They lay in the grass and held hands. White, fluffy clouds moved slowly across the sky; somewhere close a woodpecker knocked rapidly.

  “This is indeed breathtaking… thanks for bringing me here,” Alessandro whispered. He pulled her closer.

  Tessa snuggled and breathed in his musky aftershave. She closed her eyes. I can do this…now’s the time…

  “Alessandro, I need to tell you something…something very important to me…” she swallowed hard and tried to find the right words. “I would totally under—”

  A scream pierced the silence and both jerked and stood at the same time.

  “Help, someone please help!” The voice came from the left side, and as they ran in that direction, a woman limped towards them.

  “What happened to you?” Tessa asked when the young woman fell in Alessandro’s arms.

  Her breath still broken, she spoke Romanian. “I…I hiked with my friends and…I stayed behind to…relieve myself…and they walked away…and then I got sidetracked and…wanted to take pictures…and before I knew, they were gone…I stepped on a rock and my ankle hurts badly. I then started to walk back trying to remember our trail, and I saw you coming up the hill and yelled for you, but you didn’t hear me and then I tried to hurry before you left…please help me!”

  Tessa translated to Alessandro. He helped the young woman sit on a boulder and took off her shoe as gently as he could. Her ankle looked swollen and bruised. He pulled Tessa’s scarf out of the backpack and wrapped it tight around the ankle.

  “We have to carry her down and take her to the emergency room.”

  “What is he saying?” the woman asked wiping her tears away.

  “We’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” Tessa replied.

  She looked at the sky and saw the clouds moving in. If they didn’t move fast enough, they may get stuck in the rain before they could reach her cabin.

  “We better go,” she said.

  The trail seemed harder while carrying Lidia, the injured woman, Alessandro on one side, Tessa on the other. They tried as hard as they could to sustain her, but in some areas, the trail was too narrow and only one person at a time could walk it. When she put her foot down, the woman’s cry tore the air.

  By the time they reached Tessa’s cabin, it was dark. Rain caught up with them as they started on the last slope before turning onto the path to her cabin.

  “Here, sit down here.” They helped Lidia sit, then Alessandro brought two pillows and elevated her foot.

  “Tell him I’m really grateful for his help,” Lidia sniffled.

  “I’ll bring you dry clothes, stay put,” Tessa said.

  When she got back downstairs, Alessandro had the fire started while Lidia kept a pack of ice over her swollen ankle.

  “If you have some pain killers it might be a good idea to give it to her. She’ll be in pain for the next few days. If the rain doesn’t stop, we can’t take her to town. You okay?”

  He came closer and rubbed Tessa’s shoulders. She nodded and handed him a t-shirt and dry pants. They went in the other room to change out of their drenched clothes, while Lidia did the same in the living room.

  The cabin felt cold and the rain pounded with force the whole night. It didn’t stop on Sunday and by the time they should’ve drive
n back to Bucharest, the driveway was flooded.

  “My father will send a truck up here to get us,” Lidia said after hanging up with her parents. She spoke to them the night before, told them where she was and what happened. Then her father demanded to speak to Tessa, who assured him, his daughter was out of danger and that Tessa would take good care of her. He seemed able to relax and told her that as the village’s magistrate, he’d love to repay them somehow and would forever be indebted.

  “It’s okay, Lidia. We don’t mind having you stay here. I think the driver will be in danger, no matter how good of a vehicle he drives. Look out the window, the rain washed off any trace of a path. He might get stuck somewhere on the road and that would be really bad. Please call your dad back and tell him we’ll be fine. Hopefully the rain will stop by tomorrow.”

  ***

  “Oh my God, this story seems like a scene from a movie,” Eva said.

  “No kidding,” Tessa said. She took a sip of green tea and continued, “Monday morning the rain finally stopped and by noon two trucks with these huge wheels pulled in my completely underwater driveway and the father jumps out of one followed by the mother and a doctor. Everyone talks at the same time and they take us down to the village and there is this restaurant completely reserved for us. Lidia tells everyone how she fell and we saved her and people are ooh-ing and ah-ing and I have to translate to Alessandro. Then they didn’t let us leave until we had lunch together and took pictures.”

  Tessa slumped back in her chair. She felt exhausted and the day just started. She had a throbbing headache since the day before and it wouldn’t go away no matter how many aspirin she took. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples, hopping a miracle would happen. She needed to get her thoughts together. Five weeks had passed by and she still couldn’t figure out a way to approach Alessandro. The last opportunity she had was atop the mountain before they spotted Lidia.