by Abby Crofton
I got the bread, meats, and cheeses from the refrigerator while Kate went to the pantry to check on which snacks were in stock. She came back out with bags of pretzels, chips, and cookies.
“Are these okay for them?” she asked as she set the bags down on the counter.
“Yeah, we’ll just add some carrots and apple slices from the fridge, and they should be good. Mrs. Jessup is pretty cool when it comes to feeding the kids. I’ve been doing this long enough that she knows I’m not going to give them a tub of ice cream and two spoons and leave them at it,” I said with smile.
Kate laughed and said, “I don’t think I want to be here if Max is full of sugar. I’ve seen my little cousins on a sugar rush, and it wasn’t pretty. You don’t even have the luxury of giving them back to their parents if they get extra crazy. How long do you have to stay with them today?” she asked as she began putting a little of each snack on the kids’ plates.
I went back to the refrigerator for the vegetables and fruits. Over my shoulder, I said to her, “Their grandmother is flying in at around seven tonight.” I came back to the counter and said in a lower voice so the kids couldn’t overhear, “I think it’s pretty serious, with their dad in the hospital. The doctors found something with his heart, and they rushed him into surgery. He’s probably going to be in the hospital for a while if they have a relative flying in to stay and watch the kids.”
Kate’s eyebrows furrowed in distress. “That’s awful. The kids are still so young. Is their dad a young guy?” she asked.
I nodded. “He can’t be more than forty. At least they caught it early.”
There was silence for the next seconds before Kate blurted out, “We’re going on a date tomorrow, aren’t we? Because I’m under the impression that this is a date, and I didn’t want you to think it was more of a friend thing, but if you do want it to be just a friendly hangout, then that’s cool too, I just wanted us to be on the same page. It would be embarrassing if we each thought it was one thing but the other thought it was something else and wires were crossed and stuff happened that would not be good,” she ended limply.
I saw her face scrunch up as if she regretted everything that she had just said. I couldn’t help smiling at her rambling. It was adorable. She was adorable.
My smile melted away when I thought about what she had just asked me. Here was the clear-cut sign I had been looking for, so it was easy for me to agree with her. Even though my heart was beating furiously.
“Yes, a date tomorrow is good. I mean tomorrow being a date is fine. Me and you on a date at the movies sounds super,” I said, and now it was my turn to cringe. I wouldn’t blame her if she canceled right then and there after that word jumble I just spat out.
But she was nodding in affirmation. “Okay, great! It’s a date, then.” She continued nodding for a few more seconds until she abruptly stopped, as if she had just realized what she was doing.
Now it was my turn to blurt something out. “So you like girls?” But before she could answer, Max and Ellie came into the kitchen looking for lunch. I silently cursed their timing. So close, but still so clueless.
I turned from Kate and set the kids up at the kitchen table with their lunches. The doubts started to creep in. Should I have asked her that question? Did I have the right? Jenny had mentioned that Kate may be bisexual, but I got the impression that she wasn’t 100 percent sure. If her own best friend didn’t know, then why should I?
I lingered at the table, asking the kids if they needed anything else. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear Kate’s answer. If she said she was straight but wanted to try dating a girl for fun, I would have to end whatever we had before it even started. I liked her, but I had to protect myself first.
After getting the kids some juice, I couldn’t put things off any longer. Kate was waiting at the kitchen counter where I had left her, and I took up my previous position. I was fiddling with cleaning up the counter when she put a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. I looked up to her solemn face. She leaned in close to my ear and whispered so I was the only one who could hear.
“I’ve liked boys before, and I’ve liked girls before. And right now I like you,” she said to me. When she pulled back, she looked at me nervously, trying to gauge my reaction.
“I like you too,” I said honestly. She smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“No duh,” Max said from the table. “You guys are all lovey-dovey; of course you like her.” I guess I had been a little louder than I’d thought, but I didn’t care. Kate and I liked each other, and we were going out on a date.
Awesome.
Chapter 11
After lunch, Kate and I just hung out with the kids until she had to go. I walked her to her car, and even though I knew the kids were looking, I felt brave enough to lean in and give her a good-bye kiss on the cheek. She responded by pulling me in for a tight hug and telling me that she couldn't wait for our date the next day.
After she’d driven off in her car, I walked back to see both Max and Ellie standing in the open front doorway, grinning like maniacs.
“You owe us for setting you up on a date,” Ellie crowed.
Max jumped in. “Yeah, like a hundred bags of candy!”
“No way,” I argued, but I was already planning some gifts as thanks. Because honestly, their meddling probably had helped in the end.
When I got home after the kids’ grandmother arrived, I was glad that my parents' cars were gone and Eddy was holed up in her room. I was able to call Marie, who had spent the day shopping with her mom, and had arrived home exhausted a few minutes before I called. I gave her all the updates about what had happened. At the point where I mentioned Kate’s suggestion that we go out to the movies together, she squealed, and when I told her that Kate had admitted to liking me, she screamed so loud that I heard her mother come in and ask what was the matter.
“I told you so,” she said with relish. “You should always listen to me; I am a sage. Just let me run your life. I'd do a much better job at it than you.”
“Yes, okay, you're smarter than me. Let's get to the important stuff. What am I going to wear for my first official date with Kate?” The smile on my face must have translated over the phone, because Marie quit her teasing. We talked about what I should wear for the date, and where we should sit in the movie theater, and if I should try to put my arm around her while we watched the movie. I reminded Marie that I wasn't going out on a date in a 1950s movie.
But I did feel more comfortable after talking to Marie. She had such a way of instilling confidence in people that I seriously suggested to her that she become some sort of counselor in the future. Or one of those people who warmed up the crowd at a basketball game. She joked that her college dilemma could be solved by going the second route, since she didn't think a college degree was needed for that particular job.
“Have you gotten anywhere with figuring out about taking the money offered by your father?” I asked, since she’d brought it up.
I heard over the phone as she took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think I'm going to take the money. It would make too much of a difference for my mom. One less thing for her to worry about.”
“That's a good reason,” I reassured.
“Yeah,” she responded absentmindedly. She changed the subject by asking if I was going to make out with Kate in the movie theater. I gave her the reaction she was looking for by sputtering some denials and telling her she was ridiculous.
After a few more minutes on the phone with Marie, we said our good-byes, and then I went to bed. I was too tired to think anymore. I was glad that I had talked to Marie, because otherwise I would have spent the night making myself crazy over the fact I had a date with Kate.
The next morning, everyone else in the house was downstairs by the time I made my way out of my room. I was a little surprised, since it was still early for a Sunday morning. We were not a particularly religious family, so church wasn't a regular event.
“Good
morning,” I said to the room at large as I entered the kitchen. My parents were drinking coffee at the kitchen island while Eddy was at the computer on the dining room table.
My dad was the first to answer. “Good morning. How was babysitting yesterday?” he asked.
“It was fine,” I said as I prepared myself a bowl of cereal. I wasn’t quite ready yet to share with them everything that had happened yesterday. But then my sister spoke up.
“I heard you had someone over at the Jessups’ yesterday,” she announced. My parents both looked up at me quizzically.
“I didn't know Marie was meeting you over there,” my mom said.
“It wasn't Marie, was it, Haley?” my sister continued, baiting me. It worked. I bit.
“Shut up, Edwina,” I told her through gritted teeth.
“It was Kate,” she said to our parents. “You know, Kate, who came over for dinner, where we all saw Haley totally fail at flirting and be totally oblivious to Kate trying to get her attention. And when we all tried to help her take her head out of her butt and just ask the girl out, she got angry and sulky.”
She could be such an ass.
“But it turned out all she needed was a couple of kids to do her work for her, because she has a date with Kate today,” Eddy continued. I couldn’t say anything. She may have been technically correct, but she didn’t need to say it in such a patronizing way. I guess she was still mad about my rejecting her so-called help from before. Or more likely she wanted everyone to know she’d been right, because she could never deal well with being told she was wrong.
“How do you know I’m going out with Kate?” I asked, bewildered.
As she stood up from the computer, she said, “Ellie and I are Facebook friends,” and then left the kitchen. Now I knew why she had woken up so early and had been in the kitchen when I’d come downstairs. All part of her master plan to prove me wrong.
“Haley, do you have a date with Kate?” my mom asked excitedly. This was why I’d wanted to keep my date to myself for just a little longer. Eddy and her bruised ego had ruined that for me, and now I was bracing myself for the inquisition.
I tried to deflect. “Mom, Kate and I are just going to the movies later. It’s no big deal.” But she was having none of it.
“Have you picked out what you’re going to wear? What movie are you going to see? Will Kate be stopping by here first?” she asked with rapid-fire precision.
I sighed and gave up. I knew I’d never win with her anyway. “I’m just wearing some regular clothes, a shirt and jeans, nothing fancy. We’re going to see that new movie about the dust storm that destroys Las Vegas. And Kate is going to pick me up, so please don’t make a big deal about it,” I pleaded. “It’s just a movie.” But I could see by the gleam in her eyes that her excitement on my behalf was ratcheting up instead of lessening like I had hoped.
I looked at my dad and begged him with my most pathetic expression to save me from any more questions. Luckily, he understood what I was trying to get across, because he jumped into the conversation.
“Daniela, leave the girl alone,” he said to my mom. “There’s no need to get yourself all worked up about it. She’s just meeting a friend for a movie. Isn’t that right, Haley?” he asked me innocently.
I hesitated just a fraction too long.
“Wait, is it really a date?” he asked, surprised. I was a little insulted that he would be so surprised, but I got over it when I realized that I now had no one else on my side. I was going to have to fend them off on my own.
“Listen,” I started, addressing both of them. “Okay, technically I am going on a date with Kate today”—both sets of eyes widened in glee, and I pressed forward a little louder, trying to preempt any more questions they had—“but it’s just a movie, and it’s a first date, and please don’t read too much into it. And, this part is very important,” I stressed. “Please, please don’t embarrass me by asking her questions or acting weird. Okay?” I finished, hoping that they would be cool about this.
They were not.
“Oh, honey,” my mom exclaimed. “It’s your first date! Of course it’s a big deal, and of course we’re excited for you.” She wrapped me up in a big hug. I hung there limply, not returning it, and then my dad joined us with a hug of his own. I stood there, sandwiched by my well-meaning parents and dreading the next few hours before Kate arrived. No way were not they going to make a big deal about this.
I was able to settle them down after all the hugging by again pleading with them not to go overboard with the fact that I had a date. They agreed, but it took a lot of convincing. I’d never known they would react this way to me finally dating. It was like I was giving them an early Christmas present.
I had to wonder, though, if they would have reacted positively if I were straight and going on a date with a guy for the first time. Eddy had not been on a date yet either (she was too busy plotting her uprising and others' downfalls to worry about something as pedestrian as a love life), so I had no idea if their reaction would be the same.
After the awkwardness of my date being revealed to my parents passed and I finished up my breakfast, I spent the next few hours thinking. It seemed that all I’d done these last few days was think.
I was actually glad that my parents were so supportive of our date, because I knew that things could have gone very differently. Having your daughter announce that she was a lesbian and being okay with it was very different from having said daughter actually date another girl. One was theoretical, the other was real. I kept going back to a question I’d wanted to ask when I had first come out to them. I figured now was as good a time as any to finally get that answer.
I found my dad in the backyard, puttering around with a section of the perimeter fence that had been broken for a couple of years now. Every now and then my mom would say we should get someone out to fix it, my dad would insist he could fix it himself, he would mess with it a little, and in the end it would still be broken. I secretly thought it was his way getting out of chores. No, he could not go grocery shopping, because he had to work on the fence.
Right now I could see that he was even more halfhearted than usual as he pretended to work on the fence. He had not even brought out any tools with him.
“Hey, Dad,” I said when I was a few feet away. He turned, a guilty look on his face, then relaxed when he saw it was me.
“Don’t worry, I won’t rat you out to Mom,” I reassured him. I walked over to him and we both looked at the fence together. A couple of the wooden boards had somehow broken away, leaving a hole big enough for a small animal to crawl through.
“Sorry about this morning, Haley,” he said as we were standing there. “I guess your mom and I got a little carried away. We didn’t mean to embarrass you, but we got so excited when we heard your news. We both thought Kate was great when she came by for dinner. We’re so happy for you, Haley,” he said sincerely.
I appreciated his words and the confirmation that he and my mom supported me. So it was easier to ask my question.
“Hey, Dad,” I started. When he looked up questioningly, I said, “Do you remember when I told you and Mom that I was gay?” When he nodded yes, I continued. “Why were you crying when I told you?”
The sight of him shedding tears on that day had stuck with me. It seemed to me that he had not cried in sadness or disappointment, but more like relief. But I wanted to know for sure what he had been thinking about at that moment.
He was silent for a few moments. Finally, he looked at me and said quietly, "Because I knew your life was now going to be a little harder, and parents don't want hardships for their kids." He slung his arm around my shoulders and brought me close into his side. He smelled like detergent and pine. “But you have to be true to yourself, and I am so proud of you for doing that. I—actually, your mom and I—just want you to be happy, Haley. That’s all we want.” He finished by bringing me in closer with a final squeeze.
I turned and wrapped both arms aroun
d his waist, and we stood there for a little bit, comforting each other. He stepped back and looked me in the eye.
“Is that an okay answer?” he asked.
I nodded. “Thanks, Dad. I guess sometimes it's better to ask than wonder about some things.”
“You can always ask me anything you need to, Haley. Please always remember that. Your mother and I are always here for both our daughters. Even if one scares me a little,” he said with an exaggerated frightened face. “And hint: it’s not you.”
“You and me both.”
He smiled. “Let’s go back inside. I believe you have a date to get ready for.”
Before I knew it, I was dressed and back downstairs, waiting for Kate to arrive. I had considered waiting in my room so that I could make a graceful descent down the stairs as she waited for me at the bottom. But then I’d pictured myself crumpled at her feet after I had tripped and fallen down the flight, which was more likely to happen in real life. I’d decided it was pretty lame to try to recreate the classic movie scene of the girl walking down the steps to her date. I almost slapped myself for my momentary descent into unneeded sentimentality.
So now I was pacing the house, my nerves on edge. I sat on the living room couch, biting my nails. Then I stood and walked to the kitchen. I looked around aimlessly and then walked out to the deck. But I hadn’t been there for thirty seconds before I was getting back up again and going back to the kitchen, looking for something to eat and then closing the fridge without even searching. Even though I told myself that it was only a stupid movie, I couldn't help but feel anxious. None of my family members were around, so I guessed that my parents had told Eddy not to bother me before my date. I was so desperate for a distraction that I sort of wished Eddy were around to at least keep my mind off Kate.
Marie had sent me a text wishing me luck on my date. There were a lot more emojis and smileys involved, but her excitement for me came through clearly. She also told me to call her as soon as I got back home, but that she understood if I somehow got too busy. The three winking smileys conveyed her innuendo pretty well also. I sent her back a quick thank you and continued with my waiting.
