Survivor Girl (Daughters of New America )

by JM Scott

  “And Mapleton for you.”

  We stared at each other then she hugged me. “Please come Holly. You deserve a good life.”

  “I’ll be fine. Go and drive. Get to Vermont as fast as you can. They haven’t made it that far with the scavenging,” I said.

  She had tears in her eyes. If I kept looking at her, I would be crying to. She was my best friend. Other than then Trent of course.

  She got in the car and started it. Then she drove through the front gate and vanished in the horizon. Taking Lane away the best decision I ever made, but for me it wound up being the worst.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Holly,” Huck said over the radio, two mornings after Lane left. He didn’t call me by either of his two pet names.

  “Yeah Boss,” I answered and filled my thermos with coffee.

  “Come down to the office this morning. I have a couple of guys going to get water.”

  “Sure thing, I’ll be right there.”

  Trent got out of bed and poured the rest of the coffee in his coffee mug. He watched me as I laced my boots and put on my hat and coat. Snow had fallen overnight the street already had dozens of footprints criss crossing like drunken animal prints.

  “Holly, we need to talk,” Trent said.

  “I don’t think there is anything to talk about.”

  “Please.”

  And he was right we should talk. There was a lot to talk about.

  “Okay, tonight,” I said. And started out the door. He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer then kissed my lips.

  When I got the office, Huck was alone and had two heaters blazing. It was hot- too hot. I always thought it was wasteful. Right now, we had a lot of propane to go around but when it ran out, then what? Maybe the new government can get the grid back on. I’ve heard rumors of some power coming back on through the radio.

  I stripped off my coat and my sweater and sat in the chair opposite of him. He got up and put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed.

  “Are you happy here, Baby Girl?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Lately, you haven’t seemed like yourself. Trouble with Trent?”

  He wanted to talk to me about Trent? Did Trent say something? I believed Huck was my friend.

  “I guess. I don’t know.”

  He sat beside and grabbed my hand, gentle and sweet. He moved the hair from my face.

  “Talk to me, Baby Girl. What’s going on?”

  “I really like Trent or at least I think I do,” I started and how far should I go with this? I didn’t want him to know I eavesdropped on their conversation. But was it really private? Was I really eavesdropping. They were the ones talking at the bonfire. “But he’s not into me.”

  “You guys are sleeping together, no?”

  “No.”

  “Holly, don’t worry about him. You have a lot of choices here. Don’t forget that. I will have Trent move out today.”

  “You don’t need to do that,” I said.

  “He’s making you miserable and I hate seeing you unhappy. And I take care of you right?”

  “Yeah. I love being here.”

  He grunted and kissed my cheek.

  “So today, I was thinking we could make some rules.”

  I got up and grabbed the rule book which was scant since he didn’t seem interested in making rules. Nor did he seem interested in if people murdered other people.

  “Did something happen?”

  “I don’t know maybe. When people get comfortable they tend to forget how things work in a civilized society. I think so anyway.”

  “First thing is theft. I was thinking the punishment would fit the severity.”

  He listed off everything he could think of: theft from the store room, theft of a vehicle, theft of another person’s property. Then he listed various punishments. He had to know something.

  After some more rules, he said, “Holly, I believe people make mistakes. To err is human, right? I figure if someone comes clean with their transgressions, then ask for forgiveness from me and the town, then the punishment will be lighter. Don’t you agree?”

  “Definitely. People do make mistakes.”

  “And sometimes, people need to still be punished even if they make mistakes because that way they learn not to do it again. Jailing is a waste of time right now, don’t you think?”

  I nodded in agreement. I did not like where this conversation was going. He had to know something was up. Did I miss something when I got Lane out? Who was below me? I couldn’t remember who lived below me at all. Anyone one those people could have been awake for any reason.

  “We need everyone to be working at all times. Jail would be like a vacation in times like these. Lazing around doing nothing. How effective is that?”

  “I guess not very.”

  He stopped and looked at me. Like he was waiting for something. My heart screamed in my chest. The door opened and Jeremy came in. He ripped me from the chair and tossed me to the ground.

  “What’s going on?”

  Jeremy backhanded me, blood spilled from my lip. He forced my hands behind my back and wrapped cold hand cuffs around my wrists.

  “Get up,” Jeremy commanded. I was not going to cry. I stood.

  “Holly, of all the people. I never thought you would be the one to betray me. I have no words right now. But you will be schooled tonight in front of the town. ”

  “What are you going to do?” I mumbled.

  “You will learn a valuable lesson tonight. Until then, jail. I want the whole town to be there at the bonfire for your punishment.”

  He came to close to me and put on my hat. “Holly, I loved and trusted you. It’s going to take a lot for me to trust you again. Remember, I still love you, but you fucked up big time. But after tonight, we can all go back to being normal. And I know you will never betray me again.”

  Jeremy dragged me out of the office. There was no use in struggling. I walked beside him. Others watched me and shook their heads. I wondered who squealed. I saw Trent in the window. I was cold in my tee shirt. At the police station, there was some chatter on the radio. Another one of the guys was in there listening. He ignored us as we came in. We went downstairs. Jeremy fiddled with a ring of keys and opened the first cell. Then for no reason he shoved me into the cell. I lost my footing and fell hitting my head against the floor.

  The other guy came down and said, “Don’t fucking kill this one.”

  Things were fuzzy. Jeremy said something.

  The other guy helped me to my feet. “You are not giving the punishment, he is. And if you want I will tell Huck about how you tried to kill off his woman.”

  “Fuck you, Dan,” he said and stormed off into the police station.

  He looked in my eyes with a light. “I don’t think you have a concussion.”

  I nodded, I felt more blood drip down my face.

  “For what it’s worth, Holly. I think you did the right thing with the girl.”

  “How’d he find out?”

  “Ginny told him about the missing item from the store room days before the girl left. But it was Jeremy who told him about the missing car. He saw you and her leave that night. He ratted you out,” Dan said.

  I didn’t know really Dan. He was pleasant and respectful. He was also a lot older than me. He stayed back from scavenging most of the time and worked at the police station. He was an engineer in another life and he was trying to figure out how to get some power going.

  “Look, I know you’re probably cold, but I am supposed to withhold heat and food until your punishment. I am sorry about that.”

  “What is it?”

  “That I don’t know. But I suspect it will be painful. Try to get some rest. You like coffee? He didn’t say anything about coffee. It will help warm you up.”

  I nodded.

  I drank the coffee. Dan helped me use the toilet, which was embarrassing. But I didn’t have a lot options.

  I watched the snow fall against the win
dow. It got colder and colder in the cell. Finally, I was in blackness.

  Lights bounced off the walls. Dan and Jeremy appeared in front of my cell. In the bright flashlight, Jeremy had a wild expression, while Dan frowned. Jeremy opened the door. I got to my feet. And for no reason, he hurled against me sending me into the wall. Pressing my arms deep into the stone.

  “Jeremy, she’s handcuffed,” Dan said.

  Jeremy’s hands closed around my neck until my breath was barely there. I knew I did bad stuff like stealing from the community. I knew I was wrong, but what I couldn’t understand is how he could beat me like he did without punishment? How he could kill without getting in trouble? I didn’t try and run away; I knew the risks when I did it.

  Dan reached behind me.

  “Jesus, Jeremy, she’s not going anywhere. I can’t get her cuffs off. Loosen up,” Dan said.

  Instead of loosening his grip around my neck, he pulled me away from the wall. Dan undid my cuffs.

  “Move your hands to the front, Holly,” Dan gently said.

  I was sore and stiff from having my hands behind my back. Jeremy’s eyes were full of hate and blood lust. And I was trying to think back to when he joined us. It was sometime after Allentown, but for some reason I couldn’t remember much about him. He was an ass kisser to the highest degree. We gave second chances in Ipswich, but I hoped Jeremy would somehow just die.

  Dan redid my cuffs in the front. Jeremy dropped me to the ground. I inhaled and gasped. Jeremy kicked me hard in the rib and yelled, “Get up bitch.”

  “You keep this up, I will personally tell Huck what you did to her,” Dan said while he helped me to my feet.

  “Yeah go for it old man. I know where you sleep, and I know a hundred different kinds of poison.”

  Dan said nothing. And what could I do other than piss him off anymore?

  We walked from the police station to the bonfire. Everyone was there. I could see there faces in the light. I couldn’t see Trent, but I figured everyone had to be there. Huck stood in the center of the crowd. The fire blazed melting the snow. We arrived and Jeremy shoved me once again while Huck’s back was turned. Huck turned around and helped me to my feet.

  “People of Ipswich, we are gathered here, tonight to witness Holly’s punishment. As we you all know, we are community that believes in second chances. Whatever you were before the event is gone and Ipswich is your chance to start a new life. Before coming to Ipswich, Holly was a homeless girl. And now she is a vital part of this community as all you know. I love Holly like I love all of you. Holly loves being here and being in this community. But people make mistakes. It is apart of human nature. Holly has made several. First, she stole from the store room. Second, she stole a car. Third, she stole our future by aiding the girl out of Ipswich. Of course, Holly is just a child at seventeen, she is bound to make more mistakes then the rest of us. And we must show her the right way.”

  The crowd erupted in a cacophony of talk and mutterings.

  Huck raised his arms and shouted like a television preacher, “I don’t want to do this, but I must. We must have to trust in each other to survive. After punishment is served, remember Holly is our community member and we will love her again. Yes, she will have to work for our trust. But we will care and love for her like we did before. Let this be a lesson to anyone who thinks of breaking the rules, there will be punishment and then forgiveness. We need each other, all of us working together.”

  And for whatever reason the people found this inspiring and cheered and clapped.

  Huck turned me and touched my face. “Remember Holly that I love you. And what I’m going to do is because I love you, and I love Ipswich.”

  He tossed his coat to the ground and unbuckled his belt and slid it from his pants. Was he going to rape me in front of everyone?

  The first strike took me by surprise. The leather whipped across my ass. I felt wobbly. Another strike. I fell to the ground. It would have been silent but the thwack of the leather over powered the distant howling dogs and the crackling fire. He struck me on my back, arms, legs, and even against my face. My skin ripped and bled. The snow turned red around me. He struck me fifteen times. I don’t know why fifteen. And I’m not sure why I counted.

  He dragged me to my feet, “Do you feel remorse for what you did?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Do you beg for mercy?”

  And then for the first time in a long time, tears gushed. “I was wrong. Please forgive me,” I managed to eek out. My left eye was swelling shut. I could taste blood in my mouth.

  As Huck held me up, he screamed, “For Ipswich.”

  Then he let dropped me back to the ground, where the snow felt good. I could die right here.

  “For Ipswich!” Everyone else yelled.

  Huck reared up the crowd again by screaming “Ipswich!” He incited them into frenzied screams. Until the night air was filled with screams of Ipswich. As the crowd chanted, Huck bent down and rolled me over.

  “You will get up tomorrow and do your work and whatever else needs done. And then when you are healed, I am going to make sure you get pregnant. You owe me that one. If you would have just kept the girl around, then you wouldn’t have to pick up her baby making duties. Was it worth Holly? Was it really worth it, helping that girl get away? You had the greatest life.”

  Huck motioned for Jeremy and he undid my cuffs. I lay in the snow not wanting to move or couldn’t move, I wasn’t sure which. The people got more crazy, someone was passing joints. Someone put batteries in a boombox and cranked up the music. Alcohol was everywhere. I crawled away from the fire to a picnic table and heaved myself up. At least now I was alone for the time being.

  Fuck Huck and fuck Trent and fuck Ipswich. I didn’t need them. I didn’t need this place. And I sure didn’t need to be pregnant for the rest of my life. And love is not beating someone. I learned that when I left my mother’s. I tried to ignore the pain as I went back into my apartment.

  I peeled off my ripped and wet clothes and turned on the heater full blast. I stood there shivering. The wounds were starting scab and it hurt to move. I could only see out of one eye, but I could see Trent’s things were gone. I put on new panties and jeans another tee shirt and another sweater. I ate a can of cold pasta.

  I should’ve left with Lane when I had the chance. Even if Mapleton rejected me because I was an useless nobody. I was better off on my own, like always people were really meant to hurt me. Well everyone but Lane. She was good people.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I sat in my darkened room except for the propane heater. I was going to enjoy every last minute of the propane tank before I left. It took me hours to pack the unicorn bag. I took the sparkly clothes and the panties, food, the bullets and whatever else I could shove in there. I lay the town book on my bed and crossed out my name. The pain never subsided. I guess that would be a dumb thing to believe. And I waited. Eventually, the party died down. How could anyone have a party after some was beat? How did that make any sense?

  As I sat in the dark, drinking the coffee, I couldn’t help but to think of Trent. I missed him. But what kind of friend was he anyway? He hadn’t come by and saw me. He was probably down there trying to hook up with one of the women. Or maybe he was kissing Huck’s ass telling him how great he was. I guess it showed who had my back. And it made me think about Trent and how we met. Was he a random guy on the street or did he already join up with Huck and got separated at some point? I always assumed Huck met Trent and I at the same time. Maybe that wasn’t right. I never asked. It never occurred for me to do so. I trusted them both.

  Sometime, around four, Huck stumbled into his apartment. Someone was with him, I heard the extra footsteps. His door opened and slammed. Then the other person left a few minutes later, slamming the door once again.

  It was now or never. I knew Huck. He wouldn’t wake up until ten or eleven in the morning. Not as drunk as he seemed. I slung the bag over my right shoulder because I cou
ld barely move the left. It felt like a million bricks on top off all the pain. The pain would go away, eventually. And it when it did, I would be long gone from this town. I double checked the gun, still loaded.

  I closed the door, quietly. The hallway was empty. I walked down the hallway. I was going to leave and if that met shooting anyone in my way, so be it. But I had a special bullet for someone special.

  I opened Huck’s door. And closed it. He was face down on his bed. His clothes were still on but not his boots. Whoever helped him upstairs mostly covered him. He snored and drooled. The stink of weed, cigarettes and alcohol rolled off him like steam from a swamp. I grabbed a pillow and neared his bed. His door opened again.

  Fuck, it was Trent. Now I wanted to shoot them both.

  “Leave me alone Trent, or I will shoot you too,” I whispered.

  “Don’t kill him, Holly. You’re better than him, this whole town.”

  “Why do you care?”

  “It changes you. I know. I killed someone a long time ago when I was a kid. It was an accident. My asshole brother left his gun on the table. My friend Estabon was over. I picked it up and pulled the trigger.”

  He never told me that before. He came over and lowered the gun.

  “How did you find me?”

  “I knew you were going to run. I waited for you downstairs and you never came Then I saw the heater go out. I came up, and I knew this is where you’d be.”

  “He deserves it,” I said.

  “I know he does. He definitely does. And if you kill him, who do you think is going to be in charge?”

  “Jeremy?”

  “You know it, you want to subject these people to his reign? I know most of them are cowards but do they deserve Jeremy to be in charge?”

  No, they didn’t. Jeremy would be horrible.

  “Come on, Bandita, let’s go. I have a car. Put the gun away. Take my hand.”

  I wanted to kill Huck so bad. He was going to hurt Lane. He hurt me. Why should get to live? He did save my life. And maybe that is what I owed him, his life. My life for his. It was the street code. I slipped the gun back into my holster and took Trent’s hand.