She nods. “I just don’t want you to be too tired.”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
“I think Aunt Kinsley is here, too. You’ve had quite a gathering here, waiting for you to wake up.”
Carter turns away from us, looking out the window. “Yeah. Great.” I want to grab him and wrap my arms around him, but I’m afraid that’s too much, too soon. So instead, I follow Li out of the room to go get our families.
WE WALK OUT the door and Li falls into my arms. “Oh my god,” she says. I know exactly how she feels. I’m overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure which way that was going to go, but it went a lot better than I could’ve imagined. Carter’s angry and hurt, that I know. I expected him to direct that to me, the stranger who had changed his life. But he isn’t angry at me. Yet. He’d handled it with the maturity and grace of a much older person. Hell, I think he’d handled the news way better than we had.
“He’s okay,” I murmur into her hair. I feel her taking deep breaths. “Do you want to call Mia?”
“No,” she says. “I’m okay. I just can’t believe that just happened.”
“Me either. God, looking him in the eyes was the most amazing feeling. I can’t even describe it.”
“You don’t have to,” she says. “Because it’s the same feeling I had the day I looked into his eyes for the first time. Welcome to parenthood, Blake.”
“I love you,” I say. “And him. God, I love him. He’s mine.”
“He’s ours,” she corrects, smiling the smile that puts me in a puddle. “No one can ever take that away from us again. He’s going to be okay, and we’re all going to move on from this.”
“Let’s go take his grandparents and aunts in to see him,” I say.
The second we walk through the waiting room door, everyone stands to their feet. Li’s best friend Kinsley wraps her in her arms, and she even hugs me.
“Ready to see your grandson?” I ask my parents. My mom is already crying, and my dad’s trying hard not to. My sisters are bouncing on their feet, the anticipation killing them. “He’s awake and alert. And it went way better than I would’ve thought, seeing him for the first time.” Beth wraps her arm around Li’s shoulders, whispering softly into her ear.
An hour later, our parents and my sisters hug us goodbye, promising to come back tomorrow morning to visit Carter. He’d been tired, not able to stay awake for the entire visit. He’d taken to Brooke and Bri right away, and I can’t wait for him to meet Bennett. I’m not sure that putting all of this on Carter today had been the best idea, but at least he can say he met the family he’s missed out on for so long. Beth had been wonderful, and it’s obvious Carter adores his aunt.
“How are you guys holding up?” Kinsley asks. “I think Carter’s handling things rather well. But I have to warn you. I don’t think you’ve gotten the fall out yet.”
“What do you mean?” I’m not sure I can handle more fall out.
“He’s still got to process everything,” she explains. “Right now, he’s shocked and it’s all new. He’s angry with Ronan and is overwhelmed by everything. After the dust settles, I wouldn’t be surprised if the anger turns to the two of you. You may want to set up some counseling sessions with your friend. He’s going to have a lot to work through. Not to mention trying to heal from all of this and coming to terms with not being able to go back to school right away.”
Li and I exchange a look. We’re exhausted. It’s been a really long, emotional day. “I’ll call Mia tomorrow, see if she can come over this weekend and talk to us.”
“Go get some rest,” Kinsley says. “I’m going to check into the hotel, too. I’ll stay here as long as you want me, okay?”
I’d somehow convinced Li to leave for the night, with Carter’s help. He had insisted she go sleep that he was fine and would call if he needed us.
“Thanks for everything,” I say to Kinsley as we exit the hospital. The warm Florida sun beams on us, and I realize how much we take that for granted. Hell, I’d taken a lot for granted, but I won’t anymore.
Li and I settle in my truck and she rests her head against the seat. We ride in silence the few miles to the hotel. Once I turn off the engine, I look back at her, wondering if she’s asleep. But her eyes open, and I smile. “I thought you might be asleep,” I laugh.
“No,” she says. “Just thinking. Today was crazy. But I’m so glad it turned out better than we both thought it would.”
“Me too,” I say, getting out of the truck. She follows, grabbing her purse and following me to the door of the hotel lobby. “I think what Kinsley said is true.”
She sighs. “I know it is. We have a long way to go.” She presses the button for the floor we need to get to our room, and I watch her. I want her. I know it’s inappropriate to think about this right now, since we just had one of the most emotional days of our lives, but I need to feel close to her.
“Li,” I say, pulling her body to mine as the elevator climbs. “I need you. I know it’s not right or good timing…”
She looks up at me, her eyes smoldering, cutting off my sentence with her lips. “I need you too,” she whispers against my lips as the door opens. “Show me, Blake.”
I unlock the door quickly, and we both hurry inside. We haven’t been together since this entire thing started, but now I feel like I can’t go one more minute without showing her what I’ve been saying with my words.
“Shower?” I offer, hoping she’ll appease me.
“Hmmm,” she teases, dropping her shoes on the floor. “Another shower, another hotel room,” she muses. I watch as she crosses the room and enters the bathroom. “Definitely not as nice as the first one we christened, but it’ll do. I’m waiting, Mr. McIntyre.”
I laugh, glad we can both put everything aside and be us for a few minutes. I walk in after her, and she’s already got her jeans and shirt off. She’s standing with her back to me in just her underwear and a bra, and for a moment I’m transfixed. I remember the first time we did this, she was so nervous. She turns her head and sees me standing there, and a playful smirk comes across her face.
“Wanna race?” she asks. I cross the small bathroom quickly and haul her into my arms.
“I think I lost last time we raced,” I say, my fingers working the clasp on her bra.
“I know,” she giggles. “That’s why I want to race. Because you lose and I win.”
“Hey,” I say, flinging her bra behind me and taking those beautiful breasts in my hands. “I’m not the same kid I was then. I think my stamina is better.” She throws her head back and laughs, and I take that opportunity to slide my fingers under her skimpy panties. She stops laughing as her eyes darken at my touch. “I love you, Liane. Through all of this, my love for you just keeps getting stronger. You’re amazing in so many ways. You’re the girl I’ve always loved and so much more. Every day I spend with you, I fall deeper in love with you. Who you were, who you are now, and who you’re going to become.”
“Blake,” she cries out as I continue moving my fingers. She clutches my arms, looking me dead in the eyes. “I need you in every single way. I love you.”
We shed the remaining parts of our clothes and step into the steaming shower. It’s not fancy like the one we’d first showered in, but it doesn’t matter. She tips her head back and closes her eyes. I run my hands through her long hair, watching as the water runs down her beautiful body. I could die today a happy man, but I’ll stick to being with her until I’m old and gray.
I suckle her neck, the water running over both of us in streams. Her hands find me, and she strokes me, her hands moving gently over my aroused skin. We’re both moving slow, taking our time making each other feel good. I take a handful of shampoo and massage her head while she continues using her hand to take me right to the edge. I want her to feel good; loved, not just like I want her to satisfy my own need.
“Blake,” she hisses when my fingers find her again. “Hmmm.” Her inability to form any other words makes me smile against he
r skin as I kiss down her body, forcing her to let go of me as I work my way down. I want her to feel every bit of pleasure that I can give her. She hardly ever thinks of herself and what she needs. I want her to think of it now.
“So beautiful,” I murmur against her skin, taking the soap and washing her thoroughly. Her eyes are closed and she’s leaning her head against the shower wall. Once I’m done, I stand up and run my fingers through her long hair to wash out the shampoo. Her arms are limp at her sides, and I wonder if I’ve won once and for all.
Taking a liberal amount of conditioner, I rub it into her hair, remembering that she needs a lot to keep her hair from being tangled. There are things that I remember out of the blue sometimes, and then I realize that I never really forgot a single thing about her. Every part of her is seared in my memory. This time when I look at her face she’s looking directly at me, and she grabs my face and kisses me, her fervor more urgent than before.
“I want you,” she whispers against my lips. “Please, Blake. Make love to me.” I don’t waste another second making her ask me for what she wants. I grab her and she wraps her legs around my waist. I settle myself inside her slowly, watching her as we both begin to move. “Yessss,” she hisses, wrapping her arms around my neck as we move in tune with each other. I can’t take my eyes off of her face. It’s not until she puts her luscious lips to mine that I allow my eyes to close and take in all the sensations. I feel way more than her body right now; I feel her heart.
I can tell she’s ready, and I have been since the moment we got in here together. But this isn’t about me. I want to show her how precious she is to me. “Li,” I say. Her eyes fly open. “I love you.”
“I. Love. You,” she says, squeezing me closer to her with her legs. “Don’t hold back, Blake.”
“I’m not,” I say. “I just want this to be about you.”
“It’s about us,” she says, and I can’t argue with that. I press her back against the wall and take us both over the edge until she can’t contain the moans.
“God,” I breathe into her neck. She unwraps her legs and slides down the length of my body until her feet touch the shower floor. “That was so amazing.”
“Yes, it was,” she says, reaching for the soap. “Now it’s my turn.” She kneels down like I’d done just a little while before, and by the time we make it out of the shower not only are we really clean, but our skin is pruned. And I’ve never been happier.
“THIS IS JUST like the house you always wanted,” Ronan says, looking around Blake’s house. I turn, surprised that he remembered that. Ronan had actually heard me at some time in my life, but he’d just chosen not to care what I thought. I try to forget how awkward it is that my ex-husband is in the house with me and Blake, but I have to remember why that is.
Our divorce had been finalized ironically on the day we found out that Carter was being released from the hospital. He’s been doing great, defying all the odds. While he had to put school on hold for the rest of this semester, at least he will be able to go back to school in a few months. He still tires easily and has to rest to make sure his other injuries heal properly. There seems to be no real after effects of the brain trauma, though we have to keep an eye on how he does when he goes back to school and he has to process and study again.
Yesterday, Blake and I drove to his dorm and packed up his things. Hayden, his roommate, had been to see Carter, and they had a plan to get an apartment together next year. I like the kid a lot, and I can tell they have really bonded. Being there had been hard, reminding me of the day I had to pack up my room to go live with Ronan and start my life.
At first, Carter had been very angry at Ronan and hadn’t wanted to see him, but Blake has actually been very helpful in that. He’d told Carter to give Ronan a chance, and that forgiving him would help him move on. Mia had met with us twice in the hospital, and she’s planning to come see us now that Carter is home.
Blake has spent a lot of time preparing the guest bedroom, making sure Carter feels welcome and at home. I know he’s a nervous wreck, but he’s going to see that it will be okay. While Carter has been polite with Blake, he’s still been holding back, so I know with him here with us it will only be a matter of time before he sees him as his dad.
“Yes, it is,” I say to Ronan. He’s wheeling Carter through the house, showing him around so he knows where to find things. He can walk, but he gets tired easily so he also has a wheelchair.
“You wanted a house like this?” Carter asks. If I could say one thing for Carter, he’s been extremely defensive of me ever since he found out. I half expected him to be angry with me for sleeping with both Blake and Ronan, or for being with Blake and moving away from the only city he’d ever known as home. But he’s been the exact opposite, overly worrying about how I’m feeling or what’s fair to me.
“I did,” I say, not willing to lie to my son. “I get to have it now. What do you think?”
“It’s really nice, Mom. Where’s Blake?”
“He’s getting your bags into your room,” I say. “Want to go see it?” He nods, standing up.
“I want to walk.” He follows me down the hall, and I notice that Ronan stays in the family room. I’m glad, because this needs to be about us and not him. I’m glad that Ronan wanted to be here, even if Carter didn’t want him to. Mia is coming over shortly to talk to the four of us for the first time. I felt it necessary for Carter to see us as a united front, even if that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
“Carter!” Blake says, hugging him briefly. They both smile, and it knocks the breath out of me. Identical smiles. “How are you feeling?”
“Like hell,” he laughs dryly, and we all join him. “Nah, I’m okay. Sore, but that seems to be par for the course lately. This room is great, Blake, Mom. Thank you.”
“If there’s anything you don’t have, let me know and I’ll grab it for you,” Blake says. Carter nods, walking over to his nightstand and picking up a picture frame. I can’t see what it is, but he stares at it for a long time.
“What’s that?” I ask, looking over at Blake.
Carter turns, showing me the picture. “It’s the two of you, isn’t it?” Blake nods, and then I see what it is. It’s the summer we turned five, both of us full of sand and sticky from popsicles. We’re beaming at one of our mothers taking the picture, our arms wrapped around each other.
“I got my box out,” Blake explains. “I thought Carter might like to see some of our photos.”
“You’re what? Four or five here? Even here you look like you love each other.” Carter looks at both of us. “This is so hard, but not as hard as it could be.”
“What do you mean by that?” I ask.
“Am I upset? Yes. Do I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore? Yes. But when I see the two of you, especially when you don’t know anyone is looking at you, I can’t feel upset anymore.”
“Why?” Blake wraps his arm around me.
“Because you were way more wronged than I was,” Carter explains. “At least I had a dad growing up, even if it was the wrong one. I have the rest of my life to get to know you. You lost out on so many years together, and it’s so obvious you should’ve been together all along. It makes me sad, and I know I don’t even know all the details.”
We turn to see Ronan standing at the door. I know he heard every word Carter said, but I can’t make myself feel sorry. If it hadn’t been for him, we may have been able to make this room for a four year old Carter and not an eighteen year old. “I’m going to head out,” he says. “Carter, I’m always here if you need anything, okay?”
Carter nods, putting the frame back on the nightstand. “Thanks. I’ll be fine.”
“Let me know when you need to pay for classes again,” he says. “I’ll send over the money.”
Blake stiffens next to me. “Ronan,” he says, his voice eerily low. “If my son needs money to go to college, I’ll make sure he has it. I may just be a lowly mechanic to you, but I do pretty
well.”
Carter turns and looks at Blake, then back at Ronan. You could cut the tension with a knife in here. “I didn’t mean…” Ronan says, but Blake holds up his hand.
“Thanks for coming, Ronan. Carter will let you know if he needs anything. I’m sure you can find your way out.” Ronan nods, turning and walking away from us.
“I’m sorry,” Blake says when we hear the front door shut and Ronan’s engine purr to life. He’s been very careful for Carter not to see his anger towards Ronan, but I know Ronan had crossed the line the second he said it. That was his father, right to the core, always thinking that he was better than everyone else. If only he knew how much money Blake had saved and invested, he’d pee his pants.
“Don’t be sorry,” Carter says. “I completely understand.”
“We’ll let you rest,” I say, hugging Carter gently. “If you need something, let me know. You can just text if you don’t feel like shouting for me.”
Carter kisses me on the head since he towers over me. “Mom, if I need something, I can come out and get it. I’m going to call Hayden and then rest for a while.”
I COME OUT of the bathroom, a smile on my lips as I think of the last time we’d been in a shower together. Blake is in talking to Carter, so there isn’t any way I was going to pull him away from that to shower with me. So I’d spent the fifteen minutes I’d been in there reminiscing about that night and how far we’d come since then.
I pad down the hallway, realizing as I walk that I think of this as my home. Or maybe it’s Blake that I see as my home, and this is just the representation of all of that. When I reach the door, I hear Blake talking, his rich and sexy voice making me tingle from head to toe. Listening to him bonding with our son is more special than I could have ever imagined.
I peek around the corner, my heart constricting at the sight of Blake and Carter sitting side by side. Carter’s holding pictures and Blake has a box in front of him.
Twisted Paths Page 22
