Family Ties: A Captured Series Novella

by Karen Frances

  I spend the rest of the morning making sure everything is ready for Lucy’s arrival. I was right; Lindsay has a drawer full of pink clothes. But I write out a list of things needed with Mum’s help. Dad stays downstairs with Ethan. It turns out there are quite a few things needed for Lucy. Lindsay was intending to breast feed her, so I need not just baby milk, but bottles and a steriliser. We agree to go shopping later on this afternoon, maybe Moria might want to go. It might help her to take her mind off things for a bit.

  Tom and Moria arrive at lunchtime; Dad has kept himself busy with making sandwiches for everyone. I try to get Ethan to come and eat, but he doesn't even reply to me.

  “Is he okay?” a concerned Moria asks.

  “The doctor was out earlier, we will need to pick up his prescription when we go out,” Mum tells her. “Would you like to come out and get a few things for Lucy, Libby is bringing her home tonight.”

  “I would love to,” says Moria. “But is Ethan going to be up to looking after her?”

  “Moria, I’m going to move in. I will look after her until he can, but I will need help,” I tell her.

  “Libby, you are quite something.” She smiles warmly. “And just tell me when I’m needed and I’ll be here.”

  “Thank you, Moria. I don’t want you or Tom missing out on anything and I don’t want you to think I’m taking over either.”

  “Don’t be silly. I know if it was the other way around Lindsay would do the same.” That makes me feel better, because I wasn’t sure how they would take to me looking after Lucy for even a short time. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.

  We all manage to eat a little lunch. Tom goes to speak to Ethan about organising the funeral, but Ethan tells him he can’t do it. He wants him to sort it, but he also breaks down, repeatedly apologising for killing his daughter. Mum goes to him, to comfort him and try and calm him down. Tom and Moria don’t blame him for the accident and neither does anyone else, but he does. He’s blaming himself.

  This is going be a long road ahead for Ethan.

  Mum doesn’t want Ethan left on his own today whilst everyone is out and about arranging the funeral and shopping for Lucy. I have to agree with her, I don’t think he should be left on his own. So I call Stephen, his best friend. I know I should’ve called him last night, but with everything going on I forgot. Stephen is saddened and shocked when I tell him everything, and agrees to come over. He and Ethan have been friends since primary school. He’s such an easy going guy.

  Dad offers to go with Tom, to the funeral directors, so that Moria can still come with me and mum. Tom agrees, that it’s probably for the best. Dad and Tom leave first; they have a lot to do, their first stop has to be the registry office, to register Lindsay’s death. Mum and Moria both try speaking with Ethan again, but as before he doesn't respond.

  “I seriously wished you had called me last night,” Stephen says as I greet him at the front door. “How are you?” he asks, putting his arm around my shoulder as we walk back through the house.

  “I’m okay. I’ve got to be, Lucy needs someone to be okay just now, because Ethan isn’t going to be.”

  “Is he that bad?”

  “Yeah, he is. He’s going to need us all, but I have a feeling he’s going to try and shut us all out, including you and me. And we are the closest to him. So you are going to have to have patience with him.”

  “Okay.” Stephen kisses me on my head. “On you go out, do what you need to do. What time are you going to collect Lucy?”

  “Once I’ve brought back the shopping.”

  “Can I stay until you bring her home? I’d love to meet her.”

  “Of course. Right, we will leave you with Ethan. I’m sure there are still sandwiches from lunch, if you are hungry. The rest, well you know where everything is.”

  We leave and go off shopping. Our afternoon turns out to be quite fun, although I never knew such tiny babies needed so much. We get everything on my list and lots more. Both grannies have bought her loads, dresses, teddy’s, you name it and they bought it. I managed to buy her a few things as well; it was really hard not to buy her anything. I never knew half the shops we went into existed.

  I know Lucy’s pram is already in the house, but I buy lots of lovely blankets for both her pram and crib, all in baby pink and white. I have the feeling our beautiful Lucy is going to want for nothing in her life.

  When we finally get back to the house, Stephen tells us Ethan has not moved or said anything the whole time we’ve been out. I’m glad we went to the chemist for his prescription, but I have a feeling we are going to have a problem getting him to take it. I’m not keen on him taking the anti-depressants, but the sleeping tablets he needs, so he can get some sort of rest.

  Moria tells us that as soon as Tom and my dad are back, they need to get off home. They have a lot of family coming to see them tonight, which is understandable relatives will want to see how they are. She is disappointed that she won’t be here when I bring Lucy home, but I tell her to come over anytime tomorrow. She assures me she will.

  I drop Kirsty a text; Change of plan I’m bringing Lucy home shortly. Do you want to come over to Ethan’s?

  Straight away; Are you sure I won’t be in the way?

  Me; No I will fill you in when I see you.

  Kirsty; What about Jeff?

  Me; Talk later about him as well.

  I’m glad I’ll see Kirsty tonight and I hope we do get the chance to talk. As much as I know what I’m going to do about Jeff, I have a feeling he’s not going to make it easy for me.

  Mum and Moria make a start on cooking some dinner. I did try and tell them not to bother, we could just get a take-away, but they didn’t listen. I take a glass of water and Ethan’s medication through to him. Stephen sits on the chair opposite him.

  “Ethan, I have some tablets here for you to take,” I tell him. He turns and looks at me before turning away. God, I don’t know if I’m up to the job of looking after both him and Lucy. I get the feeling he’s going to need a lot more of my time than I will be able to give. Stephen’ smiles weakly when I look at him. “Ethan please, let me help you.”

  He turns and takes the glass from my hand and the tablets. He pops them in his mouth and takes a drink of water. I smile at my lost brother. I’ve given him the sleeping tablets, even though it’s early evening because he could do with some rest.

  “Let’s get you upstairs and into your bed.” He nods and stands.

  “Libby, do you need a hand?” Stephen asks.

  “No, we’ll be fine.”

  I take Ethan’s arm and guide him upstairs to his room. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea I think when I see some of Lindsay’s clothes lying on the bed. She was obviously trying on a few outfits before going for dinner last night. I pick them up and pull the bed covers down. I fold the clothes and put them in the wardrobe.

  Ethan changes out of last nights’ clothes, and I give him a clean t-shirt. He pulls it on and climbs into bed, turning his back to me.

  “Ethan, I have to go for Lucy now, but there will be someone here if you need anything.” I lean down and kiss him. “I love you,” I tell him.

  Leaving his room, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing in bringing Lucy home. I think I am, but is it the right thing for Ethan?

  I PARK MY CAR IN my drive and smile at my mum sitting in the back with Lucy in her car seat. God, she is so tiny, it’s hard to believe that in a few short months she will have outgrown it. I get out and walk to the side the seat is on. The hospital staff were lovely when we went and collected Lucy; I think some staff were hoping she would be staying with them for a few days.

  But here I find myself, bringing my baby niece home for me to look after. I try not dwelling on the reason I’m the one going to care for her. For a while anyway. I unstrap her car seat from the car, lifting it out.

  “Are you sure about this?” Mum asks me, for what must be the hundredth time.

  “Mum . . .”

 
“I know, sweetheart. It’s just so much for you to do. Especially when you’ve never spoke about having children yourself.”

  “Mum, kids aren’t high on my list of priorities. I’m not saying I won’t have any. But I have other things I want to do first.” I hope my answer appeases her. “Come on, let’s get her inside.”

  “We’re home,” I call entering the house. I walk straight into the living room and find my dad and Stephen watching the news on the television. “You two not got dinner ready?” I tease them. “Is Ethan sleeping?”

  Dad stands and walks over to me and takes his granddaughter from me; Stephen looks on with amazement at the tiny bundle of joy. “Yes, I’ve not long looked in on him. And dinner is in the oven; all I had to do was heat it up.” He starts unstrapping her from the seat. “Come on, let papa see you.”

  “Papa, really?” I ask him.

  “Yeah, it sounds better than grandpa.” I smirk because I have to agree with him, it does sound better. “Now sweetheart, after we have dinner, your mum and I are going to head on home. Unless you want us to stay?”

  “No, Dad you can get off home. I want to do this on my own. Kirsty is going to pop in as well to meet this little one and Stephen is staying for a bit. Now how did it go today?” I ask.

  “Today was hard. But everything is in hand, funeral is on Tuesday.”

  “That soon?”

  “Yes, hopefully it will help Ethan. Now, Tom and Moria said to tell you they will give you a few days on your own with Lucy, but if you need them, all you have to do is phone them.”

  “That’s great.”

  The front door opens and in comes Kirsty. She always times her arrival to perfection, almost always when there’s food on the go.

  “Hey, are you okay?” She greets me with a hug. “Where is the gorgeous Lucy?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Dad has her.”

  “Hi, Stephen. Phil, Jane.” She greets everyone. “Do I smell dinner?” she asks, making her way to my dad who still has Lucy in his arms. “Oh. My. God. She is adorable. Look how tiny she is.”

  “Isn’t she?” Dad says proudly.

  “Some things never change,” my mother says, her words aimed at Kirsty who loves her food. “Come on, we should make sure Phil hasn’t burned dinner.”

  “Is that roast chicken I smell?” Kirsty asks as we all walk through to the kitchen.

  “It is indeed,” Dad tells her.

  “Dad, can you put Lucy in her mosses basket?” Mum laughs and I know why; we are going to have to pry Lucy from his arms if he doesn’t. Mum has told me I shouldn’t sit and hold her all the time, something about it not being good for her.

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes.” Both my Mum and I answer at the same time.

  We all have dinner; I even manage to eat. Mum checked in on Ethan, he woke when she entered the room, but refused to have anything to eat, saying he was going back to sleep. Stephen helps my dad tidy up the kitchen. I prepare a bottle for Lucy, who is now in Kirsty’s arms crying.

  “Right kids, we are going to head home,” Dad tells us. I look at my mum, who seems reluctant to go.

  “I’ll walk you out,” I say, handing Kirsty the bottle for Lucy, so she can start feeding her as Stephen sits down beside them.

  “You know where I am if you need me sweetheart,” Mum says, pulling me in to a tight embrace. “I’m really proud of you, not a lot of people could do this.”

  “Mum, will you stop. It was an easy decision for me to make, you know that.”

  “Okay, okay, but promise me you will phone me if you need me. I don’t care what time of the night it is. We will both come straight over.”

  “Yes, I promise,” I say and kiss her cheek.

  “Your mother is right, Libby; we are here for you. You don’t have to do this on your own. Now, would you like us to come by in the morning?”

  “No Dad, I know you are busy with work. I know you have a client from America here in the next day or so. So no, why don’t you come round for dinner, we can have some takeaway and you can both help me bath Lucy. Because I know I’m going to need help with that, someone will have to show me what to do,” I tell him.

  “Alright we can do that. As for my American client, I called him today explaining the circumstances and we have put off until a later date. Mr. Mathews was very understanding.”

  “Okay, see you both tomorrow night then.”

  I stand for a few moments, watching them getting in the car and driving off. As I turn to come back inside, I notice Jeff’s car is parked in the driveway of my house.

  Shit!

  Not what I need tonight. I haven’t even been in touch with him today, so he’s not aware of everything that’s happened today. This should be interesting. I wonder how long it will be before he comes here looking for me. Maybe I should have text him to let him know what was going on. I turn, closing the door and walk back inside.

  Kirsty looks quite comfy with Lucy in her arms. Stephen he is just happy to watch her.

  “Guys, are you two okay? I want to go and check on Ethan,” I say to them both.

  “Yeah, but do you not want to go and see Jeff, I see his car is in your drive.” Kirsty says with a look of concern.

  “No, I’m in no hurry to see him,” I reply before leaving the room.

  “What the hell has he done?” I hear Stephen’s raised voice, asking Kirsty.

  “It’s not my place to say, but I will say I don’t think they will be together for much longer. Libby is finally seeing some sense where he is concerned.”

  Now I wonder if Stephen is going to do the big brother act, because Ethan sure as hell isn’t up to it. I do wish I had not said anything in front of Stephen; I really didn’t want anyone to know anything about Jeff and I. I’m still trying to get my head round events. I wish Kirsty had said something to me sooner, about the change in me.

  Opening Ethan’s room door, I find him awake in his bed. I walk over and sit down beside him. Taking his hand in mine, I hold it. He smiles at me weakly.

  “I have Lucy downstairs; Kirsty is sitting, feeding her. Not something I ever thought I would see, Kirsty with a baby in her arms, but she seems so confident with her. Stephen is still here as well. Are you hungry?”

  He only shakes his head in response. I notice there is a half glass of water sitting on the table beside his bed. At least he is drinking.

  “Can I get you anything?” I ask him.

  “Some more water.”

  I take the glass and walk into his bathroom, and fill up the glass with fresh water. I notice there is some more of Lindsay’s clothes in here, most likely needing to be washed. I will get these later when he’s sleeping.

  “Can I bring Lucy up?” I ask walking back toward him.

  “No!” he shouts at me.

  “Ethan . . .”

  “Libby, I said no. I can’t look at her knowing it’s all my fault she’s going to grow up without her mother. I killed her. I killed her.” He’s not crying or upset as he says it.

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “But it is. If I hadn’t insisted on taking her out to try to cheer her up, she would still be here. She would be here to take care of our daughter. I can’t do it. I can’t be a dad to Lucy knowing it’s my fault. What kind of person does that make me?”

  “Ethan, you’re a good person. It was a tragic accident. You can’t blame yourself for this. Lindsay would hate seeing you like this.”

  “Oh, I don’t know, I’m sure she would get a kick out of it.”

  “Enough, Ethan.” I try to rein in my temper, because there is no way Lindsay would want him to be like this. God, her last wish was for Ethan to do his best in bringing up Lucy. She didn’t want her daughter being passed from pillar to post. She wanted routine for her, stability. “Ethan, I get you’re hurt and angry, but you have a little girl downstairs who needs her daddy.”

  “She’s better off without me.”

  “Seriously, you can be a fucking arse at
times.”

  “You have her. I’m sure you’ll do a much better job than I ever could.”

  “And what do I know about bringing up kids? I’ll tell you, absolutely nothing. I’ve no plans on becoming a parent, now or in the near future.” I raise my voice at him slightly.

  “So why are you looking after Lucy?”

  “Because, she’s yours. I wouldn’t do this for anyone else. And the other option was watching her going into care, and I couldn’t stand back and let that happen.”

  “Maybe that would’ve been for the best.” Now he’s making me bloody angry. And I don’t think I’ve ever been angry with Ethan.

  “You are a selfish bastard. Do you know that? That beautiful little girl downstairs is yours, not mine. She needs you. But she needs you to be strong, not weak. The brother I know wouldn’t just give up like this. Some things in life are worth fighting for. And believe me, your little girl is worth fighting for,” I shout at him. I don’t mean to shout, but he’s got me so angry. Yes, I know he’s hurt and angry, but he’s not the only person who lost Lindsay. She has been my friend since we were children, since we were five years old.

  “Libby, what’s going on?” I turn to Stephen, who is now standing in the doorway, eyes placing between Ethan and I.

  “I’m just trying to make my brother see some sense. But all he’s thinking about is himself and not Lucy.”

  “Libby why don’t you just shut up and leave me alone!” Ethan shouts at me.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you’re my brother and I love you. I want to help you, but you have to want to help yourself. You need to pull your socks up. You will always have Lucy; she is going to ensure there is a connection there between you and Lindsay.” I can’t say anything else to him, because I can see he’s hurting and at the moment I know I’m only adding to his pain.

  “I love you,” I tell him before walking away from him.

  “Libby I’ll stay with him for a while, you go and try and calm down. I would say have a drink, but I know you won’t with looking after Lucy.” Stephen says with a warm smile.