Rachel's Folly

by Bruno, Monica

  “But wasn’t Rachel your best friend?”

  “Yes. I loved her, too. But you can’t control who you fall in love with, whether it makes sense or not. It seems so wicked now, but at the time, I was so blinded, so led by my feelings, I couldn’t see it. I didn’t care about anything else. It took me a long time to put it behind me.”

  “So you would have forgiven Rachel for sleeping with your husband?” Sara asked, realizing even more how tragic their ties were.

  “Absolutely. It would have hurt, that’s for sure. It hurts now. But how could I judge her for doing something I nearly did myself? What I would’ve done, had Edward allowed it.”

  * * *

  A few weeks later, Sara found herself walking briskly through the hospital hallway, holding a soft, brown puppy close to her chest. It was hidden under her jacket. She hoped she could get to Ben’s room without anyone noticing and breathed a sigh of relief when she made it.

  Ben was no longer in the ICU. He had been moved to a private room on the hospital’s upper level for rehabilitation. When Sara walked in, he was propped up in his bed reading Pride and Prejudice. His face had yellow and purple bruises. His leg was still in a full cast, resting on pillows. The windowsill was covered with vases of colorful flowers and there were stacks of books and binders on a chair by his bed. Sara stood in the doorway. Ben turned and looked at her over his reading glasses.

  “Well, hello there,” he said. “I almost didn’t recognize you with your new ’do.” He set his book down by his side. “I was wondering when you would come see me.”

  “Hey,” she said. She turned and started to close the door behind her. “Is it okay if I close the door?”

  “Sure, but there’s a grouchy nurse that barges in here from time to time without any warning.” He winced with pain as he repositioned himself in the bed.

  “I brought you something,” Sara said and walked over to him.

  “I hope it’s a few bottles of wine,” he said, smiling at her.

  Sara carefully unzipped her jacket, and the puppy quickly stuck her head out.

  “Oh, look at that.” Ben’s smile grew. “She’s beautiful. What kind of dog is she?”

  “Some mix, between a terrier and a dachshund maybe. They brought her to my work yesterday. She was abandoned at a shopping mall. I thought you might want her.” She brought the puppy to Ben who immediately grabbed her and held her close to his face.

  Just then, a tall, slender guy walked out of the adjacent bathroom. He reminded Sara of one of those chiseled, grim-faced male models she often saw in fashion magazines. She stiffened and made a move to grab the puppy.

  Ben placed his hand over hers. “Don’t worry, he’s a good guy. Sara, this is my boyfriend, Paul.”

  Paul smiled widely, exposing a perfect set of bright, white teeth. He extended his hand and said, “Sara Dishner? It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Sara smiled and returned his handshake. She noticed that even his hands were good-looking with their smooth skin, long fingers and manicured nails.

  “What a cute dog,” he said and bent over to pet its head. “I’m going to go meet Hector and Cindy for a late lunch,” he told Ben. “They want to take me to Rainey Street before I head back to Maine. There’s an Indian food trailer there that’s supposed to be amazing. Sure you don’t want me to bring you back something?”

  Ben shook his head. “I’m good. Thanks.” He smiled. “Have fun.”

  Paul gave Ben a light kiss and grabbed his coat. “It was nice to meet you,” he said to Sara before he left the room.

  Ben combed the dog’s head with his fingers, looking at her lovingly. “She’s wonderful, but I won’t be able to take care of her for a while. Maybe Edward can keep her until they release me. I know Jacob will be thrilled.” He looked at her sincerely and said, “Thank you.” Then he gestured towards the empty chair in the corner. “Grab a seat.”

  She pulled the chair close to the bed and sat down.

  They looked at each other for a moment. Ben smiled at her warmly, and she smiled back and held his gaze. She realized the last time they had spoken to each other was in the coffee shop right before Ben’s accident. She thought of how much had happened since then.

  Ben’s smile gradually faded. “Edward was here yesterday,” he said, sounding serious. “He told me about the tape you sent him and … about what you did to Jack.” Sara cast her eyes to the floor and suddenly felt ashamed.

  “What’d he say?” she asked, still looking down and avoiding eye contact.

  “He felt bad about not believing me about Jack. And as it turns out, Ed’s part of the reason I’m lying here.”

  Sara looked at him, puzzled.

  “It was just my luck that the morning of the day we met at the coffee shop, I took my nephew out for breakfast. Elena happened to stop by Edward’s house while we were out and he inadvertently told her I was going to meet with you. She must have told Jack and that’s how he knew to follow me.” He smiled and shook his head. Then he scratched the top of his scalp with his ring finger and looked at her. “Did the police come for you?”

  “Edward must have taken the recording to the police as soon as he got it because the cops showed up at my work right after I mailed it to him. They took me down to the station,” she said.

  “Edward said the tape was pretty incriminating. Why didn’t they arrest you?”

  “I admitted everything. They said they would have arrested me, but there’s no victim. Jack’s disappeared. If he ever comes back and presses charges, I will be arrested, but I don’t think he’s going to be bothering any of us again.” She smiled wearily. “Detective Elms said they’re reopening Rachel’s case. Her death is now considered undetermined instead of suicide, so I guess that’s good.” She watched the puppy curl up in a ball under Ben’s arm and open its tiny mouth to yawn.

  Ben’s face hardened. “Why didn’t you just kill him?”

  Surprised, Sara brought her gaze up to his. “I couldn’t.” She paused. “Not because I cared about what would happen to me, or because on some twisted level I actually felt sorry for him. I just can’t kill somebody. Not even a psycho like Jack.”

  “I would have.”

  Sara sat back in her chair. “Well, I never wanted to kill him; I only wanted to make him suffer. Make him regret what he did.” Her eyes lowered. “But you know, even after all that, I don’t think he regrets anything … besides getting caught, of course.” She sighed, looking away, still upset. She looked back at Ben. “And if I had killed him, wouldn’t I be just like him?”

  Ben raised an eyebrow and looked downward. “So why didn’t you turn him in to the police then?”

  Sara shrugged. “I guess I was afraid my parents would find out about … everything.”

  “But he’s still out there, somewhere.”

  Sara scoffed. “He’s a coward. Trust me, he’s long gone. Jack, James, or whatever his real name is, is terrified of being caught. Detective Elms said they searched his house and went to his work. There’s no sign of him. He’s on the run.”

  Ben sighed deeply. They heard voices coming from the hall, and Ben covered the puppy with the bed sheet. When no one entered the room, Ben winked at Sara. She knew that bringing him the dog was the right decision. It was obviously cheering him up.

  Although she felt happy for Ben, she felt hollow inside. Everything had brought her down and now she couldn’t help but feel incomplete, damaged.

  She looked at Ben thoughtfully and said, “I’ve learned a lot about people lately, and not in a good way.”

  “You mean Jack?” Ben asked.

  “I mean a lot of people. Jack played me for a fool, that’s for sure, but it turns out Jack wasn’t the only one lying. It seems like a lot of people are living some type of lie. Rachel was holding onto something, and so was .…” She was thinking about what Elena had confided to her about Edward. “I mean, how do you know if you really know anyone?”

  “Beats me. Bu
t think about it. Do you really want to know people’s deepest secrets?” He petted the puppy softly as she slept. “Their darkest thoughts, their inadequacies, fetishes, prejudices? Could we handle it if it was all out there for everyone to see?” He looked at her.

  Sara sat back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to live my life like that. People can accept me the way I am, with all my faults, or not. I don’t care.”

  “But you don’t want your parents to know about your abortion? That’s a big secret.”

  “That’s different.”

  “No, not really. You don’t want them to know because you’re afraid they’ll be ashamed of you. Maybe you’re afraid they won’t love you anymore. Most people keep things inside for that very reason. They don’t want to be rejected by their loved ones or—as much as we claim not to care—society as a whole.”

  Sara sunk down in her chair and stared off into the corner of the room.

  Ben continued, “I used to think the same way. I saw the world in black and white. When you get older, you may find you’ll do something you never thought you were capable of. I don’t pretend to have the answers. It seems every time I think I have things figured out, something happens to shake me to the core. But I do believe that most people who’ve lived long enough to make real mistakes cope in different ways. We’ll see if you change your mind in years to come.” He paused and smiled. “Then again, you may not. You’ve already been through some pretty remarkable circumstances. It might be that you’re just a better person.”

  Sara smirked and shook off a sudden urge to cry.

  He reached and put his hand over hers. “One thing I know to be true is that life is horrible. But, it’s also beautiful.”

  Sara’s chin began to quiver. She felt a warm tear fall down her face. She quickly looked away and wiped it off.

  “You’ll be fine,” Ben said affectionately. “You’re a smart girl.”

  Sara noticed an odd-looking stuffed animal sitting on the table by Ben’s bed. It was a green turtle with white wings. It was what she saw Mrs. Mosley leave him the day she was hiding behind the door.

  Noticing what Sara was looking at, Ben said, “That’s Gilbert.” Sara grabbed the toy to inspect it closer. It looked old. It was faded and stained. The stitching was primitive and one of its button eyes was holding on by just a thread. Ben continued, “Turtles were my favorite animal when I was a little … I used to suffer from horrible night tremors. So, my mother made Gilbert for me. She said he was my guardian angel. That he would take care of me. I used to sleep with him and carry him around everywhere.” Ben’s eyes became heavy and he looked nostalgic. “I had completely forgotten about him. But, he was the first thing I saw when I awoke from my coma.”

  Sara looked at Ben. “Do you believe in angels?”

  Ben sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know if it was Gilbert, or God, or just the good doctors at this hospital … but no one thought I would survive that accident.” He smiled warmly. “Yet, for whatever reason … here I am.”

  Sara gently placed the turtle back on the table. The room became still. Feeling the need to change the subject, Sara asked, “So how much longer do you have to stay here?”

  “For at least two more weeks. But I’ve decided I’m going to move back to Austin for a while.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. I need to be closer to Jacob. He’s all the family I have now … well, excluding my mother. God help me. And he’s growing up so damned fast. I don’t want to miss it. So I’ll be here if you need me.” He paused and raised an eyebrow. “You know, part of what I do is help students further their education. I might be able to help you, too.”

  Sara smiled. Then, remembering Paul, she asked, “What about your boyfriend?”

  Ben face fell. “Yes, well, he doesn’t know yet. I’m trying to find the right time to tell him.” He let out a big sigh. “He’s a good kid, and I know it’s going to hurt, but the truth is I’ve been depending on him to fix me, when what I really need to do is stop drinking so much. I need to fix myself.” He stared off into space and looked pensive. “Maybe this accident is what I needed.” He looked back at Sara. “Anyway, I have some things to figure out, and I need to figure them out here.”

  Sara was startled when a nurse suddenly walked into the room.

  “Uh-uh,” the nurse said, shaking her head. “Unless that’s a therapy dog and has been approved by the director, that canine has no business here.” She glared at Sara with a wrinkled brow.

  “Oh, come on, Nancy. She’s harmless,” Ben interjected. “And just look at her sweet face.”

  “That little piñata has to go. I’m allergic to dog hair. I can already feel my eyes itchin’. Now I’ll have to have someone change your bed sheets before I start sneezin’ my head off.”

  Sara grabbed the puppy and squeezed Ben’s hand before she got up to leave. She walked through the halls with the puppy in her arms and noticed a few people smiling as she passed by. She felt better knowing Ben was going to move to Austin. She wondered what it would be like to actually finish school and maybe go on to college.

  What if Rachel had been right and she actually could study to become a veterinarian? She smiled to herself at the possibility. She began to feel taller, lighter and more confident as she made her way out of the hospital.

  When Sara got to her car and began to unlock the door, she suddenly froze. An uneasy feeling overcame her, like she was being watched. She surveyed the parking lot slowly. No one else was getting in or out of their cars. She turned around, fast, to see what was behind her, but no one faced her. Slowly, she began to relax, laughing at herself, at her silly paranoia.

  She got into the car and put the dog in the passenger’s seat, turned on the ignition and waited for the engine to warm up. The dog became attentive and stood up on her hind legs to look out the window. She growled, then huffed out a soft bark. She shuddered from head to tail and barked again, louder this time. Sara looked around once more. Nothing.

  “Calm down, girl,” Sara said to the dog. “I guess hospitals give you the creeps, too.” Sara pulled the car out and started heading east on Hwy 71, towards her grandmother’s house. For once, she was actually excited to see her. She thought of how funny it’d be to trick her grandmother into believing the dog was for her. “Don’t worry, girl,” Sara said, petting the dog on the head. “I’d never do that to you.” She laughed. She put both hands on wheel, focusing on the road in front of her. “Everything’s going to be okay,” she said, in her most reassuring voice. “No,” she corrected. “Better.”

  Did you enjoy Rachel's Folly? If so, please be sure to leave a review! Thank you!

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I thank my husband, for his continuous support and encouragement.

  I couldn’t have done it without him.

  I thank my mother for listening to my story early on and helping me develop the story line.

  I thank my dear friends and trusty proof-readers for their support and input along the way, specifically, Sema Adkar, Janelle Austin, Lamar Kastis and Runuk Verma.

  I thank Jo Carson for helping me make sure the police scenes were accurate and Gregory Zito for his help with the setting that takes place in Maine.

  I thank my editors,

  Justine Goldberg and Amanda Kimmerly,

  who helped me take the story in my head and put it down on paper.

  Lastly, I thank my incredible team at Booktrope,

  Meg Collett, Sophie Thomas and Greg Simanson.

  Thank you.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE:

  This is a work of fiction.

  This story takes place in Austin, TX, circa 2011. But like the characters, there are a few places that are entirely made up (e.g., there is no Isaac’s Coffee House or West Baptist Medical Hospital). And although the indie rock band Yo La Tengo does exist, neither the band, nor any of its members, were involved with, or have any ties to this story. But, if you ever get a chance to se
e them live, I highly recommend it.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Monica Bruno is an avid runner, dedicated yogi and indie rock music fan. She lives in Austin, TX with her family and two dogs.

  RACHEL’S FOLLY is her debut novel, to which she’s currently working on a sequel entitled REPRISAL.

  Go to monica-bruno.com for updates, insights, upcoming book signings and more.

  MORE GREAT READS FROM BOOKTROPE

  Tulip Season by Bharti Kirchner (Mystery) Mitra searches for her best friend, a domestic-violence counselor, who has disappeared from her Seattle home. Following the trail Mitra is lured to India, and lands in a web of life-threatening intrigue where she can’t be sure of Kareena’s safety—or her own.

  Mr. 8 by David J. Thirteen (Supernatural Thriller) Denton Reed thinks a trail of mysteriously scrawled eights will lead him to a serial killer. But there are darker things in town than the savage murders. Will he be the next victim of the madness?

  Double Blind by Tiffany Pitts (Fiction) Was Delilah’s brother kidnapped in Hong Kong? Carl races to find answers before she’s gone, too. A fast-paced adventure mystery of nanotechnology and pillow forts.

  Return to Sender by Mindy S. Halleck (Historical Thriller) A Korean-war-hero turned apathetic Catholic Priest and a religious fanatic serial killer collide with destiny in small town Manzanita Oregon.

  Discover more books and learn about our new approach to publishing at www.booktrope.com.