by TJ Rudolph
I didn’t tell him much about myself except where I was from and he didn’t pry any further. When we were almost done, Andrew disappeared. He came back with a few blank canvases, paints, and paint brushes.
“Thought yer might need these,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said as I opened the paints he had brought me. I could immediately see from their texture that these paints were expensive and I was eager to start.
Andrew pulled out an old bronze key and handed it to me. “I’ll leave yer to it, lassie, don’t stay too late and this is now officially yer key.”
“Thank you for your help.”
“Don’t mention it, yer have yourself a guid evenin,” he said and walked off.
I set a canvas on the easel in an upright position and sat down on the round brown stool. With the palette in one hand and the paint brush in the other, I started painting what I decided would be an interpretation of WRC.
I painted long sweeps of colors for what felt like only minutes to me; but past experiences had taught me that it was probably more like hours. I was adding in the final touches when I heard the wooden door creak open and I jumped up from my seat. I had forgotten to lock it.
When I turned around I saw him again, those dark brown eyes. He was leaning against the doorway, looking at my painting. “I don’t know much about art, but that there looks pretty dark,” he said, folding his arms.
I turned around to look at the painting. My interpretation of WRC had turned into an array of dark colors flowing into each other. It was indicative of my emotions, but I wasn’t going to let him know that. If he was a seasoned art student on the other hand, he would see all my pain depicted on that canvas.
“It’s nothing, I just didn’t want to do anything too complicated,” I said as I quickly took the painting down and faced it against the wall.
“Oh, that looks pretty complicated to me, I just don’t know how deep that painting runs,” he rubbed his hand over his chin.
There was silence for a moment.
“So, why weren’t you at the party tonight? I was waiting just for you,” he smiled.
I felt that weird feeling shoot through my body again. Why would he be waiting for me? He hardly knew me.
“I’m not much into parties, and if you would excuse me,” I said as I picked up the key so he’d get the hint. “It’s getting late.” As I brushed past him, he put his hand on my arm for the second time today and I looked up into his alluring brown eyes.
“I really do have this feeling that I know you from somewhere,” he said.
I took a step back and studied him this time, the perfectly sculpted oval face, short dark hair and muscular frame. I did know him.
“Chase Ryder?” I asked, shocked. “You were at my high school!”
“Oh, yeah.” The corners of his mouth curled up. “Thought I had seen you around.”
We didn’t have any classes together and I mostly kept to myself, I guess that’s why I didn’t immediately recognize him. “I remember that there were rumors flying around that you dropped out of high school and served time in juvi,” I said.
“Not rumors.” His smile faded and he put his hand in his black jeans. “I went and finished high school while serving time.”
That sounded scary. I was standing alone with a boy who went to juvenile hall and I didn’t know why I wasn’t running away.
“So, what other rumors have you heard about me that I can put to rest?” He stepped closer to me and I could smell his ocean fresh cologne.
“Not a rumor,” I told him, “but the only reason why I even know you, is because someone warned me to stay far away from the notorious womanizer, Chase Ryder. I am pretty sure you slept with every girl at my school.”
“Well, that there is a rumor, ma'am, because I didn’t sleep with you.”
“In your dreams, Ryder,” I said as I turned and walked away.
I heard him chuckle. “Hey, I don’t know your name!”
“That’s because I never gave it,” I shouted back. I picked up my pace suddenly and as I turned the corner, I stood against the brick wall just outside my building and took a few deep breaths. I was going to school with Chase Ryder. That was going to be really interesting, but one thing was for damn sure, I needed to stay away from that boy!
Chapter 3
Although I was awake early Saturday morning, I decided to lay in bed for a while. I was thinking about what to do for the rest of the day when I heard a voice next to me say: “Good morning, Sunshine.” I slowly turned my head and screamed as I jumped up, when I realized who it was lying next me.
Aaron was propped up on his elbow smiling at me. “Aaron?” I gasped. “How…? I mean… Am I dreaming?”
He shook his head.
“Then you’re really here?” I asked as tears started filling my eyes.
“Well, not exactly.”
“You’re still dead…?”
“The last time I checked,” he chuckled. “I am just here to make sure you’re going to make it on your own.”
“This can’t be,” I said as the tears spilled over. “I must be going completely insane because I can smell you from all the way over here.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head and when I opened them he was gone.
My body was numb as I stared at the bed, how could Aaron be here with me, when I watched them lower his body to the ground? He seemed so real, so alive.
I opened the drawer beside my bed and pulled out my phone. My hands were shaking as I scrolled through my contacts. I eventually found the number I was looking for, Dr. Parker emergency, and hit dial.
“Hello,” I heard her groggy voice on the other line.
“Doctor Parker,” I said, instantly regretting the fact that I woke her up so early. “It’s Grace. I am terribly sorry for waking you up this early but… I sort of think I’m going mad.”
“Hi, Grace, no it’s perfectly fine. What is troubling you?” she asked.
I liked Doctor Parker and she was very good at what she did, the first time I met her we were only halfway through the session when I decided that I trusted her. I told her everything that ever happened to me and she never once looked at me in a way that screamed hopeless case. I wasn’t sure how to start with this, though.
“It’s okay, Grace,” she said as if she read my mind. “Tell me…”
“Okay, well…I think—actually, I know—I just saw Aaron. He was in my room twice!”
“I’m sorry. Grace, I don’t follow, could you perhaps elaborate?”
At least she wasn’t letting on that it was one of the craziest things she ever heard.
“Well, the first time I was drinking a glass of water and then he just sort of appeared and disappeared and this morning the same thing happened. He is also…speaking to me as if he is really here.”
“Aaah,” Doctor Parker said. “Now I understand.”
“Am I going mad?”
“No, you aren’t. You were experiencing what we would call an anomalous experience. It is just a technical way of saying you are having hallucinations, which is no doubt a grief coping mechanism for you.”
“It felt very real to me,” I told her.
“I’m sure it does, your subconscious is trying to hold on to the connection that you have with Aaron in any way that it can.”
“Okay, I get all of that, but what should I do when I see him?”
She was quiet for a moment. “I think that for now, you should speak to him. Most of the time it is your own mind trying to make sense of things and in a way you would be answering yourself. When you are ready and able to connect to him in other ways, like holding onto the memories you had together, the hallucinations will stop.”
“This really does sound like I am going crazy, seeing a dead person, talking to him!”
“Trust me, Grace, you aren’t, many people have experienced what you are going through and I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but in time it will get better.”
“Thank you, Doctor Parker.”
“Grace, try not to be so hard on yourself, you have gone through many challenging situations in your young life and losing Aaron was the hardest. It’s a process and it will take time. Call me anytime you need me.”
After we said goodbye, I sat on my bed and thought about what she said; maybe seeing Aaron was not such a bad thing. I was shocked initially, but I would give anything to have him here with me and even if it was in ghost form, I would take it.
I walked into the kitchen and called him softly, “Aaron you there?”
Nothing… I felt pretty stupid, but tried again. “Aaron are you…?” I heard a loud thump on the door and gave out a little shriek.
“Hey, are you okay in there?”
I knew that voice and it was not the one I wanted to hear right now. I walked toward the door and swung it open.
“Can I help you, Chase?”
“Hey, neighbor, everything okay?”
“I’m fine, thought I saw a mouse. Did you need something?”
“Someone is in a mood,” he grinned. He held up a white box, “I made some muffins, thought you might like some.”
My stomach started to do a few tumbles; I needed to go shopping for groceries. I didn’t find the time since I got here and the few things Agatha convinced me to take were finished.
“Thanks,” I said as I took it. He gave me a weird smile that made me blush. “What?” I asked him, “You look like a mad man.”
“Nothing,” he said as he walked away, “just admiring all those cute furry bunnies.”
I instinctively closed my night gown; I forgot that besides my white and pink bunny slippers, I was wearing a matching top and shorts with white and pink bunnies all over.
I closed the door with flushed cheeks, and put the container on the counter. I looked at it for a while and then I took one out and bit into it. It was banana flavored and it was delicious and moist. I could hardly believe that he was the one who made it.
“You need to eat more,” I heard a voice behind me as I was about to take the second bite. This time I was less jumpy. I turned around slowly, afraid that he might disappear again. I looked at him, he was wearing the same khaki shorts and white shirt as when I last saw him. I ran to him but all I caught was air.
“No touching the ghosts,” he laughed.
“Oh, Aaron,” I started crying. “I have missed you so much.”
“I know, Gracy,” he said. “Please, don’t cry. I am staying as long as you need me to.”
“I know,” I sniffed. “Doctor Parker told me all about my latest mental condition and I am taking you any way I can have you.”
He went to stand by the window. “College looks nice,” he said.
“Just like we imagined it would be,” I said as I went to stand next to him. “I wish you were here,” I sighed.
“So, tell me,” he said as he turned to look at me, “what is this business about you not eating anything, you’re as thin as a rake.”
“I just couldn’t,” I said as I looked down, “I couldn’t do much this past year without you.”
“You have to eat, Gracy, you have to do better. Go out and make friends and spend less time in this house or you really will go mad.”
“I know,” I nodded. “Maybe you should go shopping with me today to make sure I pack all the essentials,” I joked.
We were interrupted by something being slid under the door and I hesitantly walked away from Aaron to pick it up.
Hey neighbor.
Party tonight! Everyone will be expecting you, since it is on our block.
-Chase
Party? Our block? And this was the second time he is calling me his neighbor. What exactly did he mean? There was only one other dorm on the floor. I held the note against my head as I thought about it and then suddenly it dawned on me. The loud music, the thumping against the wall, eww! I didn’t even want my mind to go there. Was Chase the one living next door to me? This was getting weirder by the minute.
Aaron startled me by looking over my shoulder. “You should go,” he told me, and before I could answer he was gone.
After seeing Aaron, I immediately felt better…happier. I decided to go to the shop to buy groceries. I quickly jumped into the shower and dried my hair. It felt like it was going to be a hot day so I put on a knee length, off-the-shoulder blue dress. When I walked outside, I realized I was right about the weather. The sun assaulted me and I squinted all the way to the parking lot. I knew I should have packed a pair of shades, but I was desperate to get to the mall. I got into my car and searched for the nearest mall in my GPS. I was relieved to see that it was only twenty minutes away.
I plugged in my iPod and scrolled to a playlist, entitled Playlist for Gracy. Aaron made it for me because he knew I was an acoustic junkie. One of my favorite songs started playing: “Color me in,” by Damien Rice.
I arrived at the mall, which was really just a big two story building surrounded by grass and trees. It was made of brown and red bricks and had an entrance so big I wondered if they had a door big enough for it. While I marveled at it, I heard a familiar silky voice next to me and I whipped my head to the side. “Aaron, you scared the heck out of me!”
“You better get used to it,” he laughed.
“What are you doing here?”
“You said I should come with you to make sure you packed in all the essentials.”
“That was a joke,” I said as I got out. “I didn’t think you would come.”
We walked to the entrance and once we were inside, I noticed that the lower level of the store held the food. It had shiny white floors and more aisles than I expected. There weren’t many people which made the monotonous instrumental music blasting from the speakers seem louder.
I took one of the metal shopping carts and headed straight for the meat section. I placed one pack of chicken in the cart and Aaron told me to put in another two. It carried on like that throughout our shopping expedition and at one point I turned to him and said, “Seriously, Aaron, I can’t eat so much it’s going to go to waste!” And then I had a full out argument with a ghost. I only realized how insane I looked when an elderly gentleman tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was okay.
I blushed and told him that I was fine and refused to speak to Aaron until we were in the car again.
“I think I will go shopping on my own from now on.”
“Why, so that you can buy ridiculously small amounts of food?” He looked at me with his gorgeous, clear blue eyes.
“That, and so that I don’t look like a crazy person talking to you, or myself or whatever,” I snapped.
“Gracy, you promised me,” he said.
“I know, Aaron, and I promise I will start eating, I just need you to take it easy on me.”
He nodded.
With the shopping bags packed in my car, we drove home in silence while listening to the rest of the playlist. I felt a strange sense of peace having him next to me and I didn’t ever want it to end.
