MYTH-Taken Identity

by Robert Asprin

  I had rejected their offer last night and again this morn­ing. Every time I did it, it was more painful, but I had made myself a promise, and I was trying to stay serene about it. Besides, Chumley and Massha were watching me.

  "Why not?" Moa pressed.

  "Because I did what I came here to do: restore my part­ner's good name and make sure it couldn't happen to him again," I stated. "I did it. Now I'm going home."

  "But you saved all the other shoppers, too," Moa point­ed out. "You're not going to stand on principle about that?"

  I vacillated. I had earned the reward according to the deal I myself had made, but it was the principle of the thing. Skeeve would have made me stick to it. After all, I had done this for him. It hurt, but I said it.

  "No. No reward."

  Massha and Chumley let out the breaths they had been holding.

  Moa's mouth quirked in a little smile.

  "I'll tell you what," he suggested, "I'll make you good with Marco Djinnelli, and we'll also pick up any other expenses you incurred on our behalf, including everything from Massha's Secret. You'll at least be even."

  "Even!" Woofle snorted, with a scornful gesture. "There must be ten thousand gold pieces' worth of goods here!"

  "All gifts," I pointed out.

  "And your service was worth every copper." Moa addressed me directly. "By the way, speaking of Massha's Secret, I just want you to know that several Deveels have all applied to open garter shops here, starting just exactly a week from when you opened yours. We were happy to oblige, since your merchandise was so popular."

  "Uh-huh." I had my own ideas of who had called in the tax bureau the first time, and I suspected Moa did, too, but we would never be able to prove it. "Any of 'em read their leases all the way through?" I asked innocently.

  "No," Moa replied, with a conspiratorial wink. "You'd think they would, knowledgeable businessdemons like that."

  "Good," I stated, with an answering grin. "I hope they all have all the luck they deserve."

  Moa waved a hand. "We'll deliver all of this to your res­idence, of course. Again, Aahz, thank you. Your M.Y.T.H., Inc. certainly does merit its reputation."

  He withdrew, taking the protesting Woofle with him.

  "I'm impressed, sugar," Massha remarked, propping her hip on the arm of my recliner. "And Skeeve would be proud of you. Are you going to tell him about it?"

  "Nah," I replied. "I don't want to interrupt his educa­tion. I'll drop Bunny a line and tell her the whole thing was a mistake."

  "One of these days"—Massha smiled—"someone's going to find out what a softy you are inside."

  "When that day comes I'll have to rip out his guts," I asserted. "That includes the two of you if you ever tell anyone I gave anyone a major freebie. I don't want time-wasters coming out of the woodwork like that."

  Chumley and Massha exchanged knowing glances.

  "Our lips are sealed," Chumley assured me.

  "Good," I responded, settling deeper into the uphol­stery. "After all, I've got a reputation to protect. That's the one thing you can't buy in any mall."