California Sunshine

by Tamara Miller

  He laughed. "Don't be. Just saying. Let's eat, I'm starving."

  Once we were done and the dishes clean, it was almost time to go. I changed into skintight ripped jeans, a red slouch Christmas sweater, and high heeled boots. I left my hair down and slightly curled it. I swiped some mascara on my lashes and added just a little blush.

  "I swear you get more and more beautiful everytime I see you," Josh remarked when I walked into the living room where he'd been waiting.

  "Thanks, you ready?"

  "Yeah, hold on, though." He stood and walked towards me. "There's another reason I came out here." As soon as I saw his hand go into his pants pocket I began to panic. "I wanted to ask you something--"

  I stopped him. "Uh, are you sure?"

  He smiled. "I'm sure. I actually bought this day before yesterday before you broke up with me." He slowly got down on one knee and I felt like I was going to throw up. "I know we've only been together a very short while, and I'm not asking you to walk down the aisle tomorrow. That will happen eventually, but Joanna, will you marry me?"

  I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. What the hell was I supposed to say?

  "Jo?" He asked, sounding worried.

  "Yes," I whispered. I surprised myself, I wasn't expecting to say yes, but I had.

  "What?"

  "Yes, Josh. Yes." I replied, biting my bottom lip and smiling.

  He stood quickly. "You're being serious right? You're not joking?"

  I laughed. "I'm bein' serious. I know, I surprised myself too, but I love you and I cain't imagine bein' with nobody else. Ever."

  He grabbed my left hand gently and slipped the ring on. It was a circular diamond set into a circular frame. Small diamonds set around the bigger one and down the sides. It was beautiful, and I loved it, but not near as much I loved him.

  "I know it's quick, but like I said, it can be a year or two from now. I don't care. I just know that I want to make you mine for real. It's not a jealousy thing, it's not an insecure thing, it's an I love you so damn much that I can't let you go. I love you so much that when I'm gone, you're the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. I'm willing to leave California for you. I haven't said anything because I wanted to make sure this was fixable first."

  The tears began to fall. "I don't even know what to say to that. Except I feel like a terrible person for breakin' up with you 'cause I let my past interfere with my future."

  He wiped my tears gently. "No, no, baby don't feel like a terrible person. The fear is real. Shit, I got jealous yesterday, I've never been like that before. Just know that I have been and forever will be faithful to you. I love you, Joanna."

  I threw my arms around his neck as he picked me up. "I love you too. And I will always, always be faithful to you." I whispered as he tightened his grip on me.

  We arrived at Ashley's parents house, but before we went in I turned to Josh.

  "You ready for this? They're all gonna freak when they see this ring on my finger."

  He smiled. "I'm ready, are you?"

  "Yes," I replied, taking his hand as we walked in.

  I found Ashley and her mom in the kitchen. No one else had made it yet.

  "Hey, y'all. Where's Amanda, Jason, and Jacob?"

  Ashley turned quickly and hugged me. "Hey, you were supposed to call me."

  I smiled. "I know. I'm sorry. We ate and got ready. I did send you a text, though. Hey, Mrs. Newberry."

  She laughed. "Oh Jo, it's Roxanne and you know that. Or mama." She winked at me.

  I laughed. "Alright, alright mama. Sorry, I ain't been around in a while."

  "Don't worry about it. I know you're busy, how's Josh?"

  "I'm good Roxanne. How are you?" Josh asked, walking in and placing his hand on my lower back.

  "I'm good. Gosh, y'all are adorable together."

  Josh chuckled, "Well thank you. Where's Jason and Jacob?"

  "They'll be here shortly. They were askin' about ya'll."

  I smiled. "Ah, cain't wait to see my siblin's."

  Ashley laughed. "Mama thought she just had four kids. Little did she know she was gonna end up adoptin' two and gettin' another son by marriage?"

  "Let's see here. Amanda and her husband Robert, Jacob and his wife Macy, Jason and his fiancee Natasha. You and Mike, and you and Josh. So really I did adopt two and got two more sons and another daughter. I also got three grandbabies."

  "Hold on, when did Jason get engaged?" I asked.

  "Couple months ago. She's an amazin' girl. Just like the rest of ya'll."

  Just then we heard the front door open. "Mamaw!" We heard two kids yell and a collective patter of footsteps running in our direction.

  "Matthew, Luke! Y'all stop runnin'!" I heard Amanda call after them and they stopped in their tracks.

  "Rebekah, quit your runnin'." Jason said to a little blond, curly-haired little girl.

  Josh draped his arms over my shoulders and leaned his chin against my head gently. I put my hands on top of his, not even thinking about the ring.

  I heard Ashley gasp and grab my hand. She shot a look at Josh who leaned down and kissed my cheek.

  "When were ya'll gonna tell us?!"

  I laughed. "I wanted to see if you'd notice."

  "Astronauts could see that ring girl!" Amanda exclaimed.

  "So you said yes? Good." Mike said, walking into the kitchen and pulling Josh towards the back door.

  "Hold on you knew?" Ashley asked.

  Mike smiled, nodding. "I'm his best friend. I only knew he was asking and what it looked like. He didn't show it to me until we were getting ready to land yesterday. It's beautiful by the way Joanna. Now I'm taking him with me."

  I couldn't help but laugh. "Fine, fine. Y'all have fun doin' what you're gonna be doin'."

  "We need to talk," Ashley said, taking my hand and almost dragging me out of the kitchen towards the front door.

  "What the hell Ash?" I asked as soon as she pulled me through the front door.

  "Y'all've been together for like two months if that. You think gettin' engaged is a good idea?"

  "We ain't walkin' down the aisle tomorrow. Maybe a year or two."

  "Uh huh, and you gonna move to Cali? We both know he's not leavin' that place."

  "Really? That's not what he told me this mornin'. He said that he's willin' to leave Cali for me."

  Her mouth dropped. "Really?"

  "Why does that surprise you?"

  "'Cause I remember one time he told Mike he'd never leave California for some chick. No matter how much he loved her."

  "Maybe he changed his mind?"

  She smiled. "You got him hooked girl, he'd follow you to the ends of the Earth. Come on, we'll talk later about this. Let's go help mom."

  I smiled. "Sounds good to me." I replied as we walked back inside together, her talking to me, but I didn't hear a word because I was floating on a cloud.

  Chapter 23

  We were all sitting down for lunch when the conversation turned to Josh and I. Roxanne turned to us, and I knew it was coming.

  "So when are y'all plannin' on gettin' married?"

  I looked at Josh, who met my gaze. "We're not sure yet. Maybe a year or two. I'm not in a rush, we're going at Jo's pace."

  I smiled. "Probably a year. Y'all know I can be impatient."

  Jeremiah, Ashley's father turned sat his tea glass down and cleared his throat. "I love you, Joanna, you're like my third daughter, but who's movin'? I know y'all both enjoy your careers, but y'all know every relationship takes compromise."

  Before I could answer Josh looked him dead in the eyes. "I'm moving here. I'd move mountains for this girl, I'm not going to pull her away from her home. Her safe place. I can work anywhere, that's not a problem and I know she loves her job. I know relationships are about compromise, but I'm not going to ask her to do something she's not comfortable doing. That's what love's about isn't it?"

  We were all left looking at him. I couldn't believe what
I had just heard. It made me happy, but it slightly concerned me as well. I didn't want him to give up all he ever knew.

  "Well, Joanna, sounds like you got a keeper. I'm glad you have him." Jeremiah said, smiling and winking at me.

  I smiled in reply but sat quietly.

  "You okay? Did I say something?" Josh asked quietly in my ear.

  "No. I swear." I replied quietly in return.

  Once we got back to my house, I went to my room and began to change. Just as I was pulling my shirt off Josh walked in.

  "You've been quiet since we were eating. What's wrong?" He asked, sitting down on the bed, watching me.

  "You sure you wanna move here? California is all you've ever known." I replied, pulling my shirt over my head.

  "I'm positive. There's plenty of places hiring. Jo, I love you, I want to move here for you."

  "What about your house?" I asked, slipping my jeans and shoes off.

  "What about it? I'll keep it, you own this place?"

  I smiled. "Yeah. Why?"

  "Well, I'll keep paying on my place and we can go there during the summer. I can have Ash and Mike check on it every week."

  I climbed into his lap. "Is it true you told Mike one night that you'd never leave Cali for any girl, no matter how much you loved her?"

  He wrapped his arms around me. "That was before I met you. I'd move to the ends of the Earth if it meant I was with you. I mean that."

  "I know you do," I replied, kissing him gently. "I just don't want you doin' nothin' you might regret."

  "I'll never regret anything when it comes to us. Ever." He replied, searching my eyes.

  I nodded. "Well, my house is your house. Our house. 'Less you wanna find somethin' else. Start fresh with me. Start that new chapter."

  "I like this place. Unless you don't wanna share it."

  I laughed. "What's mine is yours. Kinda like my heart."

  "That's why I love you. What's mine is yours as well. Guess we're gonna have to redecorate my bachelor pad."

  "And my bachelorette pad."

  He laughed. "Honestly this house is gender neutral. It's not all flowers and pinks, which kind of surprises me. The only flowers I've noticed are the ones on the kitchen table. You've got this place decorated pretty modern as well."

  "I'm proud of it. I never wanted a girly place, and I didn't want it too masculine ya know. I fall in the middle. So is it too soon to ask when you're movin'?"

  "About two weeks. I've got to put my resignation in, and find a job here."

  "Well, this is just an idea. If you cain't find a job right away, just move here anyways and look once you're here. You know that's an option too."

  "I'm not going to live off of you."

  "Ain't gonna kill ya. Not for at least two weeks to a month."

  "I know it won't kill me, but I don't want to do that. Are you that excited to have me here with you for good or what?"

  I nodded, smiling, tugging on his shirt gently. "A little."

  "Just a little?" He asked, placing his hand over mine.

  "Alright, a whole lot. Come on, please?"

  He chuckled. "How can I say no to you while you're on my lap with just a t-shirt on?" I blushed and shrugged. "I can't," He whispered, kissing me passionately.

  We were laying in bed together, my head resting on Josh's chest, his fingers running gently through my hair. My eyes were heavy as I stared at the ring on my left hand, I still almost couldn't believe it. Less than a year after Lance and here I was engaged to a man who loved me with more conviction than I'd ever known before.

  "Tomorrow's Christmas. Should I put your presents under the tree?"

  My brows furrowed together as I slowly looked up at him. "You got me presents? Plural?"

  Josh laughed. "Yes, I got you presents. Plural."

  "Only if you want me to put your presents under the tree."

  "Of course I do. How is it that we knew to get more than one present for each other?"

  I laughed. "'Cause I think we both got a shoppin' problem. I've seen your house, you always have new stuff when I come into town."

  "True. Okay on the count of three we'll both get up."

  I nodded.

  "One."

  "Two."

  "Three."

  We both continued to lay there, Josh began to laugh. "Well that didn't work."

  "I don't wanna move. I'm pretty comfortable."

  "Well I'm getting up, or I'm giving you your gifts now."

  I sighed heavily but smiled. "Fine."

  I sat up slowly, the sheet pulled tightly around my chest. I reached down and grabbed my shirt off the floor and slipped it back on.

  The presents were under the tree. Six altogether. Four small ones and two medium sized ones. I was really curious as to what Josh had gotten me. I knew I'd laugh if we'd gotten each other the same thing because that would be slightly weird. In a good way, though I'm sure, I'd never shared the same brain wave with anyone. If that happened with us, I'd know it was meant to be.

  We were sitting at the table eating supper when he cleared his throat nervously. "So, were you serious about a year earlier?"

  My nerves bunched into a ball in my stomach. "Uh, I mean we can wait two years if you want."

  "No, I just wanted to make sure that that's what you want. I'd marry you six months from now, but I think that's rushing it a little bit."

  I nodded furiously. "Yeah, that's a little rushed. I think a year is good. We live together, really get to know each other and get married. We've gotten to know each other more in these last two months than I think most people know about each other in two years."

  "I think it helps that we have a lot in common though too. We're balanced, ya know? I never thought I'd be moving, though. It's exciting, I like it."

  "Are ya sure? I don't want you to do nothin' you don't wanna do. You're so focused on movin' at my pace and stuff that I just want you to take a step back and look at the bigger picture for a second. Your family's in Cali, Ashley and Mike are in Cali. Everybody you know lives there. You only got me here. I ain't got a family that'll talk to me. I've got a few friends, but it's mostly people from work. You think you're ready for all that? I stay to myself."

  "We'll make friends, I think you need to just open yourself up a little. I know it might be scary, but it'll make you happier. To answer your question, though, yes I'm ready for that. And if you think you're gonna change my mind, you're wrong. I'm moving here in two weeks. We'll get married in a year."

  I smiled, looking down at my tea that I'd forgotten about in my mug. "Alright. I just hope you know I feel like I'm cannon ballin' into the unknown, but I'm glad it's with you."

  "It's scary jumping into anything, but I think we're on the greatest adventure of our lives. I know the engagement was really sudden for you, but I couldn't not ask. Honestly I was going to wait until Valentines."

  I smiled, brightly. My eyes slightly crinkling at the sides, my teeth gently biting into my bottom lip. "Excitement got the best of ya huh?"

  He nodded. "I've never seen you smile like that. It's adorable and I love it. You look genuinely happy."

  "For once in my life I am. I feel like stuff's finally startin' to fall into place. My biggest question though is are you gonna be able to deal with my dark days? You ain't actually had to deal with any of that. Other than me tryin' to break up with you cause I thought you was cheatin' on me. It's like these brain worms get in and tell me stupid stuff. No, I don't hear voices or nothin', but it feels like it sometimes."

  "Jo, baby, I'm here through thick and thin. I may not completely understand, but I'll try my best. I'll hold you when you feel like you're drowning. I'll do what I can, and I know there's going to be days that no matter what I do it's not going to help, and when that day comes I'll just try and let you have your space."

  "It's gonna take me some time to get used to that. Everyone who knows me has never known how to help. I've gotten the 'suck it up, it ain't that bad' speech so many times. I ki
nda half expect it from you sometimes, not cause you've given me a reason to expect it's just I'm so used to bein' let down all the time by the people I love that I just wait for it."

  "Well, it's not going to happen. Ever. I'm not those other people. Just remember that. I'm here to love you and help you. I want to be your safe place when those demons get too scary."

  I smiled, not knowing what else to do. No one had ever said those things to me before, maybe Ashley had once or twice, but no guy had, ever. Our eyes met, and I couldn't help but think how completely lucky I had been to meet him when I did. How it seemed like the stars aligned just for us, but maybe every new couple felt like that at first. I wasn't sure, I just know that I did, and I hoped like hell that it continued for the rest of forever.

  "What are you thinking about?" Josh finally asked, a soft smile on his lips.

  "Nothin'. Just how I'm so damn thankful for you. For us. How excited I am to see what the future holds. How vulnerable we both really are, but how much we actually trust each other. I know we've had some bumps in the road, but I wouldn't change that for nothin'. I think it shows me that you really ain't goin' nowhere no matter what. Kind of like validation."

  "Well if that ring on your finger isn't validation enough, I don't know what is. You can try and break up with me, think the worst, but I will never let you down. Not like Lance did, not like Alexis did to me. I do know, however, that we are on the greatest adventure ever. Are you ready?"

  I smiled, nodding. "Yes. I am."

  Chapter 24

  I woke up to Josh setting a tray down on the bed. I smiled and curled up with the pillow he had slept with. It smelt like him and I never wanted to let it go.

  "Good morning sleepy head."

  The smile never left my face as I replied, "Good morning. What time is it?"

  "Mm about nine."

  My eyes flew open. "What?! How'd I sleep so long?!"

  He chuckled. "Oh I have no idea. Maybe because I was here? Or maybe because of last nights activities?"

  I laughed. "I'll say it's a little of both. So you made breakfast, what'd ya make?"