Father

by Clarissa Wild

  I lick my lips, but I can’t come up with an answer. Or maybe I’m too fucking paralyzed by the thought of having to tell him I’m his dad.

  “Grown-up stuff,” Laura answers, taking the pressure off for me.

  “Yeah … next time, you might wanna grab the buttons scattered on the floor,” Diego says, pointing at them.

  Laura cringes, visibly disturbed by the fact that Diego seems to know exactly what went down here. “Yeah, well, sometimes things just get a little rough.” She casually washes her hands and grabs a few tomatoes, dicing them up again as if nothing ever happened.

  “Eww …” Diego winces. “I seriously don’t wanna know that.”

  “What? Don’t you have girlfriends or something?” Laura muses.

  “Of course, I do. I get pussy every day.”

  Now, she gives him the look.

  The same one she gave me minutes ago before we fucked like animals on the kitchen table.

  “Language,” she hisses.

  “Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes. “What’s for dinner?”

  “You if you don’t watch it.”

  “What?” He makes a face and so does she.

  “Lasagna.”

  “I love lasagna!” Bruno suddenly shouts, almost jumping up from the couch.

  “You do, huh?” She winks. Of course, she already knew. That’s why she’s making it.

  I smile when I realize he’s been here all along under her perfect care … I can see the love, and it only makes me feel more grateful than I already am.

  I clutch the doorjamb and wistfully gawk at her and the boy, but then he looks me directly in the eye, grasping my full attention.

  “Father Frank, do you like lasagna?”

  Me? He’s talking to me.

  But calling me Father suddenly sounds so different … so earthshattering.

  Lasagna. Do I like it?

  “Yes …” I clear my throat, still smiling. “I love it. Anything Laura makes must taste good, right?” I look at her. “I mean … have you seen her cook?”

  She grins. “Already starting with the groveling, I see?”

  I shrug. “Better start early if I wanna pay my debts.”

  “What debt?” Bruno asks, leaning up on the couch like it’s a monkey bar he can climb.

  “Grown-up stuff,” Laura murmurs.

  “Aww … Why is everything grown-up stuff? I won’t get to know anything!” He gives me the cutest pout I’ve ever seen, and I’m almost tempted to tell him everything, but I suppose that wouldn’t be the smart thing to do with a young kid. He’d be scarred for life.

  “You’ll know when you’re old enough,” she says.

  “You don’t wanna know, trust me,” Diego interjects, pulling him down to the cushions before he falls off the couch. “Sit down.”

  I go and pick up the buttons from my shirt off the floor, tucking them into my pocket.

  “So is he staying for dinner?” Bruno asks.

  “Well …” I look at Laura who gives me this weird look, so I guess it’s fine.

  “Can he? Please?” Bruno begs her, making her laugh.

  “All right, all right. But only because you’ve been doing so well in school.”

  “Yay!” he cheers, and I can’t stop smiling or ogling.

  Jesus, I’m so fucking weird.

  “It’ll take a while before the lasagna is finished, so you two go watch some cartoons, okay? And no buts.” Laura points at Diego.

  “Fine.” Diego sighs. “But I’m picking the channel tonight.”

  Laura smirks. “Grab a cloth and clean the table, would you? It looks filthy.”

  I grin as I walk over to her. “I think I know why.”

  When I’m near the faucet, she whispers, “Are you afraid of him?”

  As I grab a cloth and hold it under the water, I glance over my shoulder and whisper back, “It’s kind of weird, you know? Telling a kid you’re his father. It’s not something you just do.”

  “Why not? What are you waiting for? Some kind of sign from God?”

  I shrug. “Maybe. It would be welcome right about now.”

  She shakes her head and laughs as she continues to dice mushrooms and onions.

  I go to the table and wash it with the warm cloth, making sure to go over it with a disinfectant too. Then I set the table and make sure everything’s perfect. I’m not doing it because I want to avoid talking to the kid.

  Of course not.

  I mean … he’s just a kid. What’s there to be nervous about?

  But when I’m done with all the chores I could possibly do, I’m stuck twiddling my thumbs, waiting for this moment. This one moment when I’ll know exactly what to do and what to say.

  However, a sudden idea isn’t what distracts me, but my phone buzzing in my pants.

  I take it from my pocket and open the app. My heart comes to a stop when I see the message on the screen.

  Coming out to play?

  It’s from Julio … and he just sent me a picture of Margaret.

  27

  “Fuck,” I hiss, and I immediately rush to the door.

  “What’s wrong?” Laura asks, running after me.

  “They’ve got Mother!”

  I don’t even take the time to properly say goodbye to Laura or the boys. I have to get to Mother in time before … fuck!

  If he hurts her, I’m going to fucking murder him.

  I’ll give him the slow, painful death he’s deserved all along.

  Fuck!

  I knew I should’ve killed him when I had the chance.

  In my car, I speed through the streets to get to the church as fast as I can, not giving a shit about the fact that I’m running stop signs. I have to get there before he does something irreversible. Before I lose another person I love so deeply.

  It’d kill me too.

  My wheels screech as I jump corners and skid to a stop right in front of the church.

  I jump out and run through the doors … only to find Mother standing there in front of the cross, gazing at me with a confused look on her face.

  With a pounding heart, I gape, completely fazed. “What …”

  “What’s wrong?” she asks.

  “You’re alone …” I approach her.

  “Of course, I am,” she replies. “Who were you expecting?”

  “No one came here?” I ask.

  She places a hand on my arm. “No … Are you okay? You’re sweating.”

  I wipe my forehead with my sleeve and say, “No. Absolutely not.”

  “Tell me what’s happening.”

  “Julio had a picture of you …” Now that I think about it, she looked way too relaxed in the picture. It’s like it was taken from afar. So that means …

  “Shit!”

  I should’ve known it was a distraction.

  I turn around and start running.

  “What’s happening?”

  “Lock the church down!” I yell over my shoulder. “Julio’s going after Laura and the kids.”

  She puts her hand in front of her mouth in shock as I rush out the doors and jump back into my car.

  I don’t think I’ve ever hit the gas this hard in my life—that’s how fast I’m going. Rage fills me up inside, and when I’m stuck behind another car, I swear out loud and smash the horn.

  “Fuck. Goddammit. FUCK!”

  It doesn’t release the pressure building inside.

  The innate fear that I’m not just about to lose the one girl I love … but my long-lost son as well.

  I can’t let it happen. I won’t. I’ll do anything to prevent them from dying. If I have to, I’ll sacrifice myself for them. If that’s what it takes to keep them safe, I’ll do it.

  “Faster, faster, faster,” I mutter to myself as I race through the streets, trying to get back to her house in time.

  However … the moment I get there, I already know I’m too late.

  What I see is like a vision from a nightmare.

  The same sce
ne unfolding as that day I vowed never to forget.

  Laura, Diego, and my son being dragged to a car by a few of Julio’s men.

  And he is sitting in the front seat …

  Right before I get there, I can still hear Bruno’s cries as he calls out my name, his eyes solely focused on me as the car drives off.

  Fuck.

  I can’t let them get away.

  I won’t let it happen … not again.

  So I hit the gas as hard as I can.

  I’ve been following them for fifteen minutes now, and we’re driving all the way into the middle of fucking nowhere. It’s not looking good. When they finally stop, I’m still a long ways behind. Too far because the three are kicked out of the car, and Laura scrambles to protect both Diego and Bruno.

  “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon!” I shout at my car, trying to push it to its limits.

  Julio steps out too now, and he’s wearing a rotten smile I wanna wipe off his face. He pulls a gun from his pocket while the two sons of bitches point theirs at them too. Bruno begins to cry, and Diego’s screaming for help while Laura is trying to negotiate with her dad. I can’t hear what they’re saying; all I can see is a bit of their movement, and it scares the shit out of me.

  “I’m coming,” I growl, trying to get there before he pulls the trigger.

  The closer I get, the more the frightened looks on their faces burn into my brain. I have to get them outta there, no matter the cost.

  So when I’m finally there, I park my car right next to theirs, drawing their attention away from Laura and the boys.

  I tuck my phone far into my pocket and grab my gun before I step out.

  Three guns are now pointed at my face as I point mine at Julio.

  “You son of a bitch …” I mutter.

  He laughs. “Frank, how nice of you to join us.”

  “You couldn’t just go after me, could you?”

  “I’m surprised you actually took the bait,” he muses, cocking his head. “How is Margaret? It must be hard on her to see her boy losing his mind.”

  “Shut up!” I spit.

  The two men raise their guns at me, but Julio waves them off. “Wait.”

  I look at him and then at the scared little face of Bruno. Then at Laura, who immediately grabs Bruno and pulls him toward her, hugging him tightly. I know what she’s thinking. If they wanna kill them … she’ll die protecting them.

  With a foul taste in my mouth, I glare at Julio and hiss, “Let them go.”

  “No.” He laughs again. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

  “They’re innocent.”

  “No, they’re not.”

  “They’re your kids, for fuck’s sake,” I spit, still keeping my gun aimed at him.

  “Dad? Why are you doing this,” Diego mutters, but Laura slaps her hand in front of his mouth to shush him.

  “Shut your mouth,” Julio spits at him. “You shouldn’t have run away with your sister, Diego. You know, I thought I was a good dad. Apparently not good enough, it seems.” He glares at Laura now. “When you all ran, you thought I didn’t know where you were? Wrong. But I gave you your space; I let you live on your own. And then you go around and betray me like that? With that bastard?” He points at me.

  “It’s none of your business,” Laura replies.

  “Yes, it is. You were my daughter,” he growls. “But not anymore. None of you are my children, you fucking pussies.”

  Diego’s eyes tear up too now as he’s coming face to face with the fact that his dad literally abandoned him after his sister took him in.

  “How dare you? They’re your goddamn kids,” I hiss.

  “So? They should’ve stayed by my side. This is the lesson they learn.”

  Julio walks to Laura and snatches Bruno away from her.

  “NO!” Laura screams. The men have to physically hold her back, and the altercation causes her necklace to break and scatter.

  Bruno’s shrieks go through bone and marrow as I struggle not to pull the trigger on Julio right there and then.

  “Do it,” Julio barks, looking me straight in the eye. “I dare you.”

  “If you don’t let them go, I will,” I say.

  “I’ll kill your son before it happens,” he growls, pointing the gun straight at Bruno’s temple.

  “And then you’re next,” I reply. “I won’t let you get away with it. Not a chance.”

  “If you shoot me, you die next,” he says. “My boys won’t let you run.”

  “I don’t fucking care.”

  He smirks and then bursts out into laughter. “You know, I admire your tenacity. It’s not every day that I find a man willing to sacrifice himself for his family, even though it’s futile.”

  The barrel is pressed harder against Bruno’s head.

  I hold up my hand. “Wait!”

  He narrows his eyes. “Why should I? You know how it works. The death of this kid for the death of my men. An eye for an eye.”

  “No,” I say. “You’ll hurt your daughter too.”

  “I don’t care about that little bitch, just as I don’t care about that other little bitch. The moment they ran away from me was the moment they stopped having the right to call me father.”

  “Kill me, Dad,” Laura begs. “Kill me but leave Diego and Bruno alone.” She gets up from the ground and begs. “Please.”

  “As far as I see it, we’ll both be dead when this ends,” I interject, and Julio sets his sight on me instead.

  “What did you say?”

  “You heard me. If you touch any of them, I’ll kill you personally.”

  “And then what?”

  “Nothing, but at least you’ll be dead.”

  He frowns, but then he starts laughing again. “You’re serious.”

  “Dead serious.”

  “You want to die?”

  “If that means stopping you, then yes.”

  My determination makes him lash out as he tightens his grip on Bruno’s arm, who cries even louder.

  Laura goes to her knees and begins to pray to God. Grinding my teeth, I contemplate my options and even ponder whether I should throw myself in front of Bruno to serve as his shield. But I know that’s futile. Sacrificing myself won’t save them.

  I have to give him something he wants most of all.

  Something he can’t say no to.

  “Take me instead.”

  He frowns, and a pause follows, but then he parts his lips. “Go on.”

  “You can do whatever you want. I’ll give you my gun, and I won’t fight back.”

  “No, don’t do this,” Laura begs.

  I ignore her plea.

  Not because I don’t wanna hear it or because it pains me, but because it’s the only right thing to do. For once in my life, I have to pick the good instead of the evil.

  Julio scratches his stubble. “If?”

  I take a deep breath.

  “If you let them take my car and spare their lives.”

  “Frank, no!” Laura yells.

  “It’s the only way,” I say.

  “No, that’s not a solution,” she says. “It’s suicide.”

  “But at least you and the boys will be safe.” We stare at each other for a moment as she finally comes to the realization there is no other way out of this mess.

  “So … this is what you choose?” Julio sniggers. “You know, I never pegged you to be the hero type.”

  “You don’t know me at all,” I retort. “So we got a deal?”

  He gives me an arrogant smirk and nods a few times. “All right, preacher … we’ve got a deal.” He steps closer, releasing Bruno from his grip, who immediately runs back into Laura’s arms. Julio extends his hand, and after careful deliberation, I take it with my left hand.

  Laura closes her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek as she grips the boys tight.

  “You will leave them alone and let them live. Got it?” I say, still pointing my gun at him with my right hand to make sure I get my end of
the deal.

  “Of course … I never go back on an agreement.” Another rotten smile. God, how I wish I could rip it off.

  I pull my hand away and turn toward Laura. “Go. Take my car. Take them home safely and stay there.”

  She nods with tears in her eyes. “Thank you,” she mutters softly.

  Then she quickly grabs the boys and rushes to my car. She locks the doors and, after a thoughtful look, drives off. The last thing I see is Bruno’s sad face as he waves goodbye a final time.

  God, I’ll miss that boy.

  But I can live with it now that I know he’s alive.

  Or rather … I can die in peace.

  He’ll be okay without me; I’m sure he will.

  Julio whistles at the two men still standing there, and they come to snatch my gun and frisk me, taking my cell phone too. I knew it was coming. I just didn’t know they’d grab my arms too and hold me down like some prisoner.

  One fast punch to the gut and I’m bucked over, heaving.

  “That’s for fucking with my daughter.”

  Julio kicks me in the chin, causing one of my teeth to lodge itself into my lip, making me groan in pain. “And that’s for breaking into my home and killing my men.”

  He spits on the ground in front of me then directs his attention toward one of his men. “Grab the shovels and the rope.” The guy walks off and returns moments later.

  The two men pull my wrists to my back and tie me up until the rope burns into my skin. Julio walks off, beckoning the guys to follow him. They drag me along like a rag doll, but I don’t know where we’re going, and I can’t see. I’m way too fucking dizzy from the pain and just struggling not to fall. We stop somewhere farther up ahead, where Julio points at a spot on the ground and flicks his fingers.

  The guys begin to dig.

  Long and deep.

  Like … coffin deep.

  And all I can do is stare and wait until they deliver my fate.

  “So you thought it was a smart idea coming here, did you?” Julio jests. “Wrong.” He bursts out into laughter again as he circles me like a vulture. “And then you made a deal with the devil. Oh, oh, oh … preacher. Do you know what I’m going to do to you after all the shit you pulled?”

  I shrug. “I don’t care.”

  He stops in his tracks and frowns at me, cocking his head. “Are you sure about that?”