Yvvaros: The Digital Frontier

by Alex Mulder

  I can’t fight my dad. Not like this.

  It went on for a while, every second stretching out to an almost infinite array of horrible moments. Finally, his dad’s breathing became rough and exhausted, like a runner finishing up the last leg of a long race.

  He’s tired from beating me. From beating his own son.

  Luke was tired too. He was tired of it all.

  “Luke…” His dad’s voice was still drunk and angry, but full of other conflicted emotions that made Luke hate him even more. “Don’t play that game. Please… don’t play it.”

  He took a step back and turned to walk into the living room, knocking a lamp off a side table as he collapsed down onto the couch. Luke forced himself to stand back up, feeling the aches and pains of his body, feeling the blood dripping from his nose. He grabbed his bag, opened the door behind him and ran back outside.

  Luke walked across the street, and then back toward his house, and then across the street again. He was confused, unsure of where to go or what to do. This wasn’t the first time that his father had struck him, but like every time, it had left him with emptiness, insecurity, and open wounds.

  I can’t stay there tonight… Maybe the park?

  He walked down the street and saw that there were people milling about by the park benches. Luke slowed his pace, and then remembered his phone.

  Maybe I can call Ben, ask if I can crash at his place?

  When he turned on the screen, he was greeted by a long list of unanswered text messages from Sam. He slapped his hand against his already painfully swollen forehead as he remembered what he’d promised her the day before.

  Good morning.

  Are you busy?

  Hey, what’s going on?

  Luke come on don’t ignore me.

  Fuck you.

  If you wanted to piss me off and destroy our friendship, then good job!

  “God damn it!” It took all of Luke’s willpower to not spike the device into the ground. He sat down on the edge of a curb and tried to think of something, anything, that he could text back to make it alright.

  I’m sorry, Sam.

  Instead of calling Ben as he’d originally planned, Luke just headed straight back to his friend’s house. He was a mess, both physically and emotionally. All he wanted to do was lie down and bury his face in something, to hide away from the trouble he’d gotten himself into.

  He knocked on the door as softly as he could to still be heard. It opened, and Emily stood behind it.

  “Oh my god, Luke!” She took him by the hand and pulled him inside. “What happened?”

  Luke just shook his head.

  I can’t tell her about my dad.

  “Here, sit down,” she said. “I’ll get you something for your face. Ben is still upstairs, working on the guild hall.”

  “Thanks, sorry for just dropping in,” said Luke. “I-”

  He paused in mid sentence as the implications of what she had just said hit him like a ton of bricks.

  How does Emily know about the guild hall?

  “Just be gentle with this and dab.” Emily handed him a wet washcloth. “I’ll get some Band-Aids out of the medicine cabinet.”

  “Emily, wait.” Luke watched as she stopped and looked over her shoulder at him, eyes full of concern and something very familiar. “How did you know that we were working on the guild hall?”

  Emily froze.

  “He… told me about it,” she said. “Earlier today.”

  “He’s been in-game all day,” said Luke. “We haven’t done anything other than buying the headsets and playing.”

  “Oh, well, it must have been yesterday then,” she said. “Yeah, that’s right…”

  “Emily…”

  Emily walked back over to Luke slowly, standing in front of him on the couch. She smiled, as though a little embarrassed about something, and then let out a defeated sigh.

  “I’m sorry Luke,” she whispered. “I was going to tell you. I wanted to say something to you, earlier today.”

  “Tell me what?”

  Emily sat down next to him and put one of her hands in his.

  “It’s me,” she said. “Tess.”

  What… did she just say?

  Luke shook his head in disbelief.

  “It can’t be,” he said. “You… how can you be… Tess?”

  Emily ran her fingers through her beautiful, light brown hair, and then shrugged her shoulders.

  “It’s me,” she said softly.

  “But… in game, we’ve…?” Luke felt his jaw drop open as he thought about the times they’d been alone, the times they’d kissed. Emily squeezed his hand.

  “Yeah.” She looked away from him, toward the wall. “I didn’t realize it at first, either. It wasn’t until I started to get you know you better, and I picked up on the way Silverstrike, my brother, would speak and act. By then it was too late. I couldn’t change how I felt.”

  “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  “Of course! I really was, Luke.” Emily moved closer to him on the couch, and in the dimly lit room, it was suddenly hard for Luke to see her as his friend’s older sister. She was as much Tess as anyone in the real world could be.

  “Emily…” said Luke. “Tess…”

  She nodded and set her hand on his cheek.

  “I know it’s weird, but this doesn’t have to change anything.” Emily paused, and Luke could tell that she was fighting her own inner conflict. “Or we can change things. We can stop seeing each other in-game, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  Luke shook his head. He leaned forward slowly, watching Emily’s eyes light up as she realized what he was doing, and then kissed her softly on the lips.

  This is so wrong. She’s Ben’s sister… but she’s also Tess.

  Emily let her hand slide down to his chest as the kiss ended. She had a strange smile on her face, as though she wanted what Luke wanted, too, but had her own unique hurdles to surmount to make it reachable.

  “Luke… do you want to come up to my room with me?”

  Luke nodded. He had never wanted anything so badly before in his life. At the same time, the thoughts rushing through his head were a chaotic mixture of confusion and doubt.

  She’s seven years older than me. She’s my friend’s sister. And what about Sam?

  The two of them stood up off the couch and quietly walked upstairs together. They walked into her room and Emily locked the door behind them. They kissed again, and then collapsed down onto her bed, letting the passion that had built to a boil in Yvvaros spill over into the real world.

  CHAPTER 24

  It was an entirely new realm for Luke, unlike anything he’d had the pleasure of experiencing before. When it was over, he lay next to Emily in bed, spent and even more confused than he’d been heading into it.

  What did we just do?

  He felt as though he’d betrayed Ben, committed the ultimate act of treachery right underneath his friend’s nose. Emily was running her hand through his hair, and he could tell from the way her fingers meandered about that she felt much the same way.

  “These things just happen,” she whispered. “We can’t tell him about it, not ever. And I also… I think we should step back a little for a while. Both in the real world, and in-game.”

  Luke nodded, though his heart ached at the implications of her words. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. He wanted to adventure with her in-game and sneak off with her outside of it. But he also understood that her suggestion was the only logical path, given the circumstances.

  “Okay,” he said. “You’re right. I understand.”

  Emily didn’t say anything for a minute as Luke climbed out of bed and began getting dressed. She sat up in her bed, keeping the sheets wrapped around her chest like a woman wearing a towel after taking a shower.

  “Luke… did your dad do that to you?” Emily’s concern was evident in her voice as much as her words. “If he did, you can’t go back there tonight
.”

  “It’s okay.” Even as he said it, Luke knew that it was a lie.

  Am I just afraid of admitting that I need help?

  “It’s not fine,” said Emily. “Stay here tonight. Please.”

  Luke looked over at her. Meeting her eyes was painful, and yet also somehow comforting and warm.

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll just rest for a few minutes on the couch, and then head back.”

  A few minutes of rest on the couch turned into a few hours. Before Luke knew it, the sun was shining in through one of the windows and pulling him out of his light sleep. It took him a minute to remember what had happened the night before and accept it as anything more than a dream.

  Emily… I still can’t believe it.

  He was in the midst of debating whether or not to leave before anyone else woke up when Ben made his way downstairs. His eyes were bleary and surrounded by dark circles, but they still opened noticeably in surprise when he saw Luke on the couch.

  “Luke? What are you doing here?” Ben made his way into the living room and then looked even more surprised as he came closer. “Jesus, what happened to your face?”

  “My dad…” Luke sighed and shook his head. “I couldn’t stay there. Emily let me inside late last night.”

  Emily let me inside, and Emily is Tess.

  “That’s fucking ridiculous!” Ben looked furious, and he clenched both of his hands into fists as he paced the floor. “He’s a fucking scumbag. We have to do something about this, man.”

  What can I do? File a police report? I’d rather just get in-game, become Kato, and live in a world where none of this is an issue.

  “I’m okay,” said Luke. “I just needed a place to crash for the night. It’s no big deal.”

  “You’re my friend.” Ben put both his hands on Luke’s shoulders and looked into his eyes. “It is a gigantic deal.”

  Luke forced a smile and then shook his head.

  “Just let me handle it. Anyway, it’s Monday. We’ve got school. You should just get ready.”

  “I’m lending you some clothes,” said Ben. “They might be a little baggy, but it’ll be better than having to wear the same thing twice in a row.”

  I hadn’t even thought of that.

  “Thanks, Ben,” said Luke. “For everything.”

  He followed his friend back upstairs, and the two of them began getting ready, hurrying through the process to make up for their late awakening.

  Ben joked about how things were going in-game, about the new guild they were teaming up with, and what their next move should be. Luke knew that his friend was only doing it for his sake, but he didn’t care. It made all of the difference in the world.

  He didn’t say anything when Ben pulled out his pipe to get high and preempt the day. He didn’t say anything when his friend took a shot from a bottle of vodka stashed away under his bed. Luke had come to terms with the fact that, as Ben had said, they all had their own demons to face.

  Mine have taken on human form, apparently.

  “I’m surprised that Emily still isn’t up,” said Ben. “Did she seem tired last night?”

  “I uh, couldn’t really tell,” said Luke. “I passed out almost right after I came inside.”

  “Come on, no time to waste.” Ben picked up his book bag and started for the stairs. “Let’s make it through today, and then we can swing by your place after school and grab what you need.”

  “What I need?”

  Ben furrowed his brow and nodded.

  “Yeah. To stay with me for the next few days.” He clapped a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’ll let you go back to being in the same house as that psycho.”

  He really does have my back. Do I have his, after what I did with Emily?

  Ben did most of the talking during the walk to school. Luke wanted to say something, anything, to let his friend know that he was alright and put his mind at ease, but no words came to him. Instead, the urge to play Yvvaros, to be Kato instead of himself, began to pull at him.

  “Hang in there, man,” said Ben. “Remember, we’re meeting up after school. Don’t take off without me if you get done early.”

  They were walking through the double doors and into the locker-lined hallway. Luke pulled himself out of his thoughts and nodded.

  “Yeah, I will,” he said. “Ben… Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it,” said Ben. “You can count on me.”

  Ben headed off toward his locker, and Luke took a left up the stairs to the second floor. Loitering around his locker was, unsurprisingly, a group of jocks, including some of his regular tormentors.

  “Jesus, guys look! It’s Slow Mo! He’s on time today, but check out his face.”

  Luke ignored them as he began to spin his combination into the locker door.

  This is nothing compared to what I’ve been through. This is a joke.

  “He’s so serious,” said another jock. “What, you can’t take a joke, Luke?”

  Luke didn’t say anything. His gut reaction was to do what he’d already done the other day, to punch one of them and offer up another reminder of what happened when he was pushed too far. But even thinking about making a fist reminded him of his dad. The thought of becoming more like that sad, controlling, violent man pulled him back.

  “I’m not in a laugh out loud mood right now,” said Luke. “Sorry, guys.”

  The jocks laughed at him but seemed to lose interest. He grabbed the books he needed and started toward his first class, already anticipating the end of the day.

  “Luke…” A familiar voice came from behind him. “What’s your problem, Luke?”

  Sam was standing with a textbook clutched against her chest. Her eyes were angry and sad, lacking their usual enthusiasm.

  “Sam…” Luke bit his lower lip as he tried to think of a way to explain. “I’m sorry, I-”

  “What happened to your face?” Sam reached out her hand and ran it across one of the cuts on his cheek. “Luke, who did this to you?”

  “It’s complicated,” he said. “Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t text you back.”

  “It’s not just about that, Luke.” Sam shook her head softly. “I feel like you’re changing. The second I started to tried to get closer to you, it’s like you started becoming a different person.”

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”

  Sam stared at him for a moment, as if wanting more than just a simple apology.

  “Do you even care about me? Do you care about anything?” She smiled cruelly at him. “Do you care about anything but that stupid fantasy world of dragons, or whatever?”

  “Sam, why are you bothering?” Luke shook his head and sighed. “If you don’t like the way I’m living my life… if you don’t like me… why can’t you just leave me alone?”

  “Because I care. I care about you, Luke!” Sam was yelling loudly enough to attract the attention of some of the other students in the hall. “I care about you, and I left my boyfriend to be with you!”

  “Sam, I’m sorry…” Luke felt like a broken record, and he could tell from the tears cresting in Sam’s eyes that his apology wasn’t enough for her.

  “I don’t know why I even bother.” She took a couple steps backward away from him, not turning around at first. “I’m trying to reach you, Luke, and you’re too distracted by a fucking video game to even notice.”

  She stormed down the hallway and Luke leaned back against the lockers on the wall before shutting his own.

  I can’t make anyone happy. I’m not good enough.

  The first bell rang, and he arrived at his class, as usual, a couple of minutes late.

  The rest of the day went by in a walking daze. Luke endured more taunts and more jeers and anticipated the last bell as though it was the second coming.

  His life was slipping out of his control, slowly but surely. The only things that he found himself feeling confident about were related to a digital world, and
the knowledge that he had a second life waiting for him to escape to.

  When the final bell did ring, he wasted no time heading for the hallway and outside. Ben was of a similar mindset and met up with him only a few seconds later next to the fence, still long before most other students had finished at their lockers.

  “Come on man, let’s get going,” said Luke.

  Ben nodded but fidgeted his fingers between each other as he moved forward to meet his friend. He looked preoccupied and a bit troubled.

  “Luke…” He paused and glanced over his shoulder. “I read something today. An online article on one of the library computers.”

  Luke had already started walking down the street and had to slow down a bit to give Ben time to catch up with his quick pace.

  “What was it?” he asked. “It must have been pretty serious to put you in this kind of mood.”

  “Yeah I guess you could say that.” Ben leaned toward Luke and brought his voice to a whisper. “There have been a few reports of people dying with the new Gamesoft headsets on.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. Some kind of seizure thing from how it connects to the brain. It’s very rare, and Gamesoft has already promised to release a patch addressing the issue, but that’s not the part that’s crazy.”

  Ben glanced over each shoulder, as though making sure that there was nobody around who could overhear him.

  “In two of the cases, other players reported seeing the avatars of the dead running around, still continuing to, well, exist, afterward.”

  Wait… what?

  “Some kind of, I don’t know, glitch or something?” asked Luke.

  “That’s what I thought. But I checked around on the forums and a couple of players are claiming to be in the same guild as one of them.” Ben swallowed and looked somber. “They say that he’s still alive in-game, and that he just can’t log out now.”

  “Well, I mean, I guess that would make sense, given that his body…”

  Luke trailed off as he began to realize the full implications of what he’d just been told.