Master Bear

by Angelia Sparrow

  "Tony's just a few blocks down? I like their veggie."

  "Good choice. I'm a carnivore myself." Mike gave him a smile.

  Chris felt an impish smile spreading over his face. "Half and half?"

  "Suit yourself. I was going to pop for two smalls." Mike smiled again. "You're cute. William's a lucky man to have you. A lot of cute boys bail at the first sniffle."

  "Not me. He's..." Chris wasn't sure he could explain, so he summed up with a cliché, "...everything to me." There was no way to explain the whole history to Mike, about being kicked out of the house, about drifting from top to top in the scene.

  William had taken him in during one of his unmastered periods when he'd been working as a cash-register jockey. While not a wealthy man, William lived comfortably enough. He'd inherited the house from his parents and his work as a library director brought in more than enough to live on. Chris enjoyed his days at home and his nights with William. He ran his fingers over the collar. His whole world lay sleeping under a net of drugs, dying of his own body eating itself. He wrenched away his thoughts as they pulled into the pizza place's parking lot.

  Mike took him in, ordered the pizza and drinks. They filled their cups at the fountain and Chris sipped his pop as they waited.

  "So, do you work?" Mike asked. "You're always home when I come by."

  "No. Just for William. Taking care of his house." Chris hid his confusion under a drink of pop. He hated small talk.

  "You're lucky. I'm sorry we had to meet under bad circumstances." Chris nodded and studied his hands. He didn't want Mike's pity. "I know this is a difficult time for you, and I'm here to take care of you as much as William."

  "I am so afraid," Chris whispered to his hands.

  "I know you are. You'd be silly if you weren't. And you're neither silly nor stupid. So tell me what you're afraid of...in just a second." Mike got up and came back with the pizza. He set the pies in the middle of the table and slid a slice of the vegetable one onto Chris's plate.

  "Being alone," Chris said. He knew Mike would pick up on the conversation exactly as he had left it.

  "Yes. I'll hazard you haven't many friends? Many subs don't."

  "Not really." Chris stared at the pizza. The thought of putting anything in his mouth turned his stomach.

  "I'd like to be one. You need one badly. You need to get a support system in place so that you aren't totally alone."

  "I'd like you to be, too. Do you have a sub?" he asked. He had to know.

  Mike's face fell a little and he looked very sad. Chris wanted to kiss him and see if it took some of the sadness away. "No. I'm nobody's master. I haven't been for quite a few years now."

  "You were a good one," Chris said quietly. "I can tell."

  "Let's get acquainted." Mike took a determined bite of his pizza and deliberately turned the conversation to trivial things, books and movies, hobbies and television.

  Chris enjoyed listening to Mike talk about his interests, but he caught himself flirting. He saw Mike smile a time or two, but otherwise, he spared Chris the embarrassment of responding to the flirt.

  "You're a quiet sort." Mike scooped another piece onto Chris's plate, clearly without thinking about it. Chris loved how Mike slipped naturally into taking care of him. The sub that made him look so sad was a fool to have left such a good thing, Chris decided.

  "I don't talk much. I'm not very interesting."

  Mike nodded. "Quiet is good. Just being quiet with someone is a powerful thing."

  "With someone being key."

  "Yes, that is key. But, Chris"--Mike laid one big hand over Chris's--"alone isn't all bad."

  "It's kind of bad for me. I've never worked a real, serious job. I probably don't even know how to job hunt anymore."

  "William will make some provision for you to get on your feet, I'm sure. How's your education?" Mike took the last piece of the Meat Special.

  "High school. I was pretty average."

  "Think about what your skills are, and your interests. We'll talk more later. Right now, you're getting edgy and I have an appointment of my own." Mike made a face. "I have to go to the dentist. I hate the dentist."

  Chris stifled a giggle at the way this big handsome man turned into a petulant six year old at the thought of the dentist. He stacked plates and made sure all the trash was picked up.

  "Let me get you home. You're such a sweetie." They drove back in comfortable silence and Mike let him out. "I had a good lunch. I'll see you Tuesday."

  "Thanks. See ya." Chris let himself in, feeling better than he had since William had gotten sick. He cleaned up a little, dusted and straightened the playroom. He started supper and had a smile and kiss for William, who came in and sat at the table.

  "Did you have a good lunch, sweet?"

  "Yes. Michael is very nice."

  "That's good. We'll have some company next week. Master Steven is interested in you. But he wants to know more about you before any scenes."

  Chris nodded, hating the getting acquainted part. Master Steven scared him, all black and towering with a commanding voice that could clear the club in ten seconds. He'd seen Master Steven do it once, too, when a candle scene got out of hand and started a fire. The great stentorian voice had flushed men out from every nook and corner of the club, sending them out the exit in various stages of undress, to mill around the courtyard until the manager gave the all-clear. The fire brigade had shown up after it was out and credited Steven with having saved several lives.

  "Yes, sir. I'll do my best." He ladled up the stew he'd made.

  "I know you will, my boy."

  * * * *

  Mike took him out for pizza again the next Tuesday and Chinese on Thursday. Chris enjoyed spending time with Mike, who knew when to be quiet and when to be silly. Both made him feel better, even though he felt guilty about leaving William alone. William always had a pain shot and slept through the outings.

  "Why do you always have superheroes on your scrubs?" Chris asked over the Chinese. He loved seeing who Mike would be wearing with each visit. He liked Superman best. When Mike showed up in the scrubs with lots of S's on them, Chris felt as if he had his own big, powerful guardian to protect him and just him.

  "To remind myself that my patients are the heroes. They may see me as their superhero, taking away their pain or making everything better, but they are the real heroes. Even those like William who can't fight anymore are still heroes, especially when they choose a graceful exit instead of a protracted and messy one."

  Chris dropped his eyes back to his food and went quiet. He didn't want to talk about that particular subject. Mike understood. They finished lunch in silence and Mike took him home.

  Once back, Mike went to check on William. When he came back to the kitchen Chris was holding the painkiller bottle. He looked at it thoughtfully and voiced the thought that had been taking shape for a few days.

  "You know, if I decided to follow William and left a note saying to cremate me with him, you're the only one who would care? The other tops would notice and I'll just bet Master Jonathan would write it into his next sub's contract. But only you would care."

  "Chris, I'm sure that's not true." Mike moved closer and Chris saw him tense as if preparing to grab the bottle. Chris set the medicine down.

  "Why not? I don't work. I don't have friends. My family doesn't give a flying fuck since they kicked me out for being gay. William is my whole life. Boys like me, we're invisible and disposable and no one knows or cares." Chris slammed his fists into the kitchen counter. He did it again and again, until he shook with a rage that terrified him.

  Mike was there, holding him. "Chris, it's all right. Anger is all part of the grief process."

  "Maybe I should. Maybe I should just leave that note." He sighed and buried his face in Mike's chest. "But I'm a coward. And I love him too much to leave him first."

  Mike said nothing but held Chris in his arms until he stopped shaking.

  * * * *

  Chris
made a roast the night Steven came over. He served, trying not to be too timid, but he still caught himself scuttling and ducking and trying to be invisible. Steven scared him until he felt all woozy. After dinner, as the men drank tea, he sat at William's feet, trying not to sweat.

  "Chris, please come here," Master Steven rumbled. Chris cowered, trying to shrink behind William's legs. Steven chuckled, and asked, his tone gentler, "Am I that terrifying, little one?"

  Chris eased out and nodded.

  "Then you will obey perfectly and not make me angry, yes?"

  "Yes, sir." Chris couldn't argue with that logic. He crawled across the living room floor to Master Steven's feet and knelt up. Steven took his chin in one huge hand, smiled, and kissed him. Taken aback by the gentleness of the kiss, Chris opened, inviting Steven to come in deeper. The big top entered his mouth, tasting him, feeling him so delicately that Chris moaned against his tongue before he realized what he had done.

  Steven was still smiling when they parted. He ran one thumb down the side of Chris's face. "William tells me you like being bound. Will you trust me to tie you?"

  Chris, back in his element at last and hoping for more kisses, possibly more of everything, smiled back. "Yes, sir." Master Steven wasn't quite so scary after all.

  He followed William and Steven into the playroom. William made himself comfortable and Steven set about choosing the ropes from the selection in the cabinet. He held up a hank and started undoing it. "Blue ropes would be lovely with your eyes."

  He found the midpoints of the two ropes in the hank and looped them together, starting a new tie that Chris wasn't familiar with. He breathed slowly, relaxing as Master Steven worked.

  "I enjoy rope bondage." Steven pulled the loops through each other, working down his chest. "I like having a beautiful immobilized sub to stroke and arouse." The ropes slid silkily against his skin and Master Steven's deep voice soothed him.

  The ropes encompassed him, holding his hands behind his back, giving his torso definition. They zigzagged, each looping into the one above it, until Master Steven tied off a loop for his cock and then another for his sac. A knot went over his hole as Steven snugged it up tight and fastened it to the wrist ties.

  Chris felt beautiful, desirable, and Steven's words only reinforced the idea. He stroked Chris through the ropes, teasing the general erogenous zones and exploring places Chris had never thought of as erotic until tonight. He never stopped smiling.

  "Talk to me, boy. Tell me how it feels."

  "Very good, sir." Chris could manage no more. He simply stayed in the ropes and waited for the next touch.

  Master Steven stroked the insides of his arms, making him shiver. "You are lovely like this. I knew you would be." He brought one big hand down on Chris's ass, tightening the ropes and jarring the knot, which sent a wash of sensation over Chris. He stroked Chris's cock, running one finger along its length and circling the head.

  He looked over at William. "William, may I make him come?"

  William smiled. "If he is willing, absolutely. Chris?"

  Chris just nodded.

  Steven's hands, huge and powerful, roamed all over his body, from knees to neck, always gentle. Chris breathed, secure in his space tonight. Steven could be a good master.

  When Steven grasped his cock and stroked, Chris gasped and thrust into his hand.

  "Boy, do you want a finger or two?"

  "Please, sir?" It almost always took penetration for him to come these days. William had trained him well.

  Steven unfastened the rope that came up between his buttocks and untied the knot over his anus. He wrapped each end around one of Chris's legs and secured it above the knee. Chris listened and heard the lube cap open.

  Steven returned to stand in front of him. He pulled Chris close and eased one thick well-lubed finger into his ass. He stroked Chris's cock in the other hand.

  "Come when you need to, beautiful boy."

  Within seconds, Chris came, his orgasm sending him to lean against Master Steven, shuddering. The big man supported him patiently, seeming to enjoy the contact. Chris rested there a while. He could get used to this. Steven didn't scare him as much now. His deep voice was more soothing than terrifying and his height and breadth only made him feel secure, strong enough to take care of his man, like Mike.

  Steven held up his hand and Chris licked his come away. Steven kissed him as he eased his finger out, then went to wash his hands.

  "You're very sweet." Steven started untying him, rubbing each area as he removed the ropes. "Let's get your blood flowing again, shall we?"

  Chris stood quietly, focusing on his breathing. He could live with Steven, he decided. He knew what William had seen as well.

  Once he was free, Steven kissed him one last time and escorted him back to sit at William's feet. Chris curled up there, just soaking up the smell and feel of his lover, a little light-headed, as he always was after a great scene.

  "Keep me under consideration, dear," Steven told William. "He's too tender a morsel for Master Bear. I would take care of him and love him well." He bent in and kissed William's cheek, then kissed the top of Chris's head. "Thank you for a lovely evening, but you are both fading fast, my friends. I'll show myself out."

  "Thank you, dearest," William said, patting Steven's hand. "Thank you for everything." Steven left them sitting there and they listened to his car pull out of the drive.

  William stroked his hair and tipped his face up. Chris saw his smile. "You did beautifully, my boy. Steven seems to work well for you."

  Chris nodded. "I like him, sir." The words would have been unthinkable a few hours earlier. Now, they were the simple truth.

  "Not so scary after all?" William teased. "He's a good man. But I get the feeling he bored you. We haven't done a lot of kinbaku like that."

  "No, sir, and it took a while. I stayed in my space." Chris tried not to make it sound like an accomplishment. Before William had gotten ill, there had been whole days spent in subspace. Now staying down for a single scene felt like a challenge.

  "Of course I'm not terribly exciting myself these days." William ghosted a kiss over his lips. "I'm sorry, darling."

  Chris laid his head in William's lap and tried to decide whether or not to tell him about Mike. If he did, how would he broach it?

  William's finger played in his hair. "We need to talk, love, and seriously." Chris shivered. The things they had put off could wait no longer. William went on, remorselessly. "My will is made out. I will be cremated. You may do as you like with my ashes. Scatter them, keep them, use them on the roses. I hear potash is very good for roses," he added with a smile. "You've been seeing a lot of Mike. I approve."

  "Yes, sir. I like him." It wasn't the opening he had hoped for but he might manage.

  But William went on and he missed his chance. "How well? Better than Steven?"

  Chris nodded. "Much better. We both like the same movies and he fumbles his chopsticks on the orange chicken just to make me laugh."

  William smiled. "Good. Keep seeing him, with my blessing."

  Chris gathered his nerve and blurted, "I might love him." He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He looked at the floor, waiting to be punished.

  William smiled as he lifted Chris's face back up. He kissed Chris deep. "That is wonderful. The best news I've had in weeks. No more tops coming to dinner. Although, we might have Mike over?"

  Seeing William wasn't angry at all, Chris brightened. He nodded but still said nothing.

  "Darling, were you afraid of hurting me by telling me this? I've been aching for weeks with the fear of placing you with a master you don't love."

  Chris kissed his fingers. "I wanted you to know I still loved you, too."

  William shook his head, still smiling. "I know you do, sweeting. You'll love me the rest of my life." He tugged the loop of Chris's collar and Chris knelt up. William pulled him into an embrace. "I'm sorry I am so ill, love. I would take you to bed and make love to
you, just to show you I still know your heart."

  "Don't be sorry, sir."

  William's smile went sad. "I am. I don't want to leave you. You are my only regret. Not having loved you, never think that," he added as Chris looked back at the floor. "But that I could not love you forever."

  Chris nuzzled up, kissing his neck and ear. William just cuddled him closer.

  "I'll speak to Michael," he promised.

  "Thank you, sir." This had gone better than Chris had dared to hope. He was careful not to put any weight on William and hurt him, but he remained in his beloved master's arms for several minutes.

  "I want you happy, precious. That's the only thing left that I want." William yawned. "Help me to bed, sweet. Watching you play has exhausted me as much as it entertained me."

  Chris nodded and helped him up. William got into bed and Chris brought him a pain pill.

  "Come cuddle," William invited. "I'm feeling no pain tonight. I suspect my own endorphins are as active as yours right now. I do love you, Chris."

  "My master," Chris said, settling under the blankets.

  * * * *

  Chris found his life narrowing even more. Caring for William took most of his time. He made one grocery trip a week. Seeing Mike a couple times a week was the high point. He looked forward to the lunches. But another hunger had been growing in him, spurred by the evening with Master Steven.

  One lunchtime as they pulled up in front of their favorite Italian place, Chris wet his lips nervously and decided the time had come to ask for something for himself. When Mike turned off the car and glanced over at him, he grabbed the nurse's face and kissed him.

  Mike let him for a moment and then looked at him, smiling but surprised. "Chris? What do you need?"

  Chris scooted a little closer, finding the console and gearshift in his way. He mentally cursed bucket seats, but never let go of Mike's face. "Just touch me?"

  Mike moved over himself, flipped the console back out of the way, and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close into his side. "We have permission, you know. William said we could." He kissed Chris's lips, and Chris opened for his tongue.