The Stand-In: my life as an understudy

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “I’m not after anyone,” I answered coolly.

  “Oh, shade, sister,” Govi laughed. “Okay, then. Keep your womanly secrets. I’ve got sisters, I know better than to pry.”

  “You’ve got sisters?” I asked.

  “Oh, dude,” I heard him chuckle under his breath and looked up from my ‘S’ to see Govi watching Elijah leaning in close to a girl who was giggling like mad. “Seriously. One of these days, he’s going to regret this behaviour.”

  I doubted that very much. “Yeah, when? When he’s a famous rockstar and girls know he’s up for a no strings attached, crazy one-night stand?” I replied sarcastically.

  “I was thinking more when he met the girl of his dreams.”

  I gave him a look that told him what I thought of that.

  “You’re a very cynical young woman, aren’t you?” Govi huffed in amusement, looking me over. “What happened to you?”

  “I was born,” I said flatly, in a rare display of frankness.

  The amusement still hovered around his lips, but his eyes had gone soft and calculating and I hoped he wasn’t going to dig deeper into that comment. “Ouch. Well, I’m here now and I will fill your world with unicorn farts!”

  I shook my head against a laugh. “Of course you will. Until you forget you even met me.”

  He shook his head with much more enthusiasm. “Nu-uh. I could have a thousand fans screaming my name, but I could never forget Chloe Cowan.”

  “You’ll have forgotten me once this is all done.”

  And I sounded sorry for myself, but I wasn’t. I had three constants in my life who didn’t consider me the understudy, it was just how it was. Ella would pull her finger out at some point, get her wish, and have Elijah ask her to the formal, and Govi would never remember the stand-in he made posters with that one time.

  When I looked back at him, he was shaking his head more gently. “Nah, I don’t think I will.”

  I blushed at the sincerity in his voice, and blushed harder when he nudged my shoulder companionably.

  “Come on, Clo, I need some more leaves.”

  I saluted him with an awkward chuckle. “Yes, sir.”

  We locked eyes for a moment and I wondered if maybe I wouldn’t just be a stand-in to Govi after all.

  The Stand-In Committee

  Swinging into the art room, I looked for Rica at her easel. It was just like the art kids to keep working after the end of day bell. In many ways, they were the most dedicated of the lot of us. That or the most easily immersed.

  “Hi. Can I help you?” the art teacher asked sweetly, like I’d just wandered in off the street and had no idea what I was doing.

  “Uh, yeah, yep. I’m looking for Ri– Erica…”

  The teacher smiled at me like I was a simpleton, or perhaps just a nervous five-year-old. “Of course. She’s over there.”

  I nodded and bounced my way over to her, making sure not to brush up against anyone’s wet projects or get in the way of their light – I’d been accused of that before and it wasn’t pretty.

  “Well, I thought it was you darkening my doorway.”

  I dropped my pleasant face. “Cut with the theatrics, Rica. I need a favour.”

  She looked me over quickly. “Straight to the point. Testy. Hair in a bun. Jeepers. Sure, I’ll do it.”

  “You don’t know what it is yet,” I said, surprised.

  She rolled her eyes at me while she mixed some colours. “No, but I’ve seen this,” she waved her arm to indicate all of me without actually needing to look at me again, “and I know you need me. So of course I’ll do it.”

  “Uh, great thanks… Auditorium, as soon as you can.”

  She glared at me, completely unaware that she was striking a pose that would have made photographers desperate for her picture. Stupid tall, beautiful, talented, wonderful best friend of mine…

  “Fine. Do I need to bring anything?”

  “We’re making posters?”

  She nodded. “All right. Fine.”

  “Thank you!”

  “Great. I will see you there soon, just let me finish…” she indicated at her canvas with almost as much enthusiasm as she’d indicated at me just before, “this…” She waved her hand, effectively dismissing me. But when Rica did it, I knew she still loved me and I didn’t really care.

  “Bye!” I sang, threw a smile to the teacher and waltzed out.

  I was in a terrible mood and, when in a terrible mood, I tended to get flouncy. Call it a defence mechanism, call it insane; when I got testy, I overcompensated with flounce because what in the world did Chloe Cowan have to be unhappy about and how dare she take that tone with anyone!

  That’ll happen when Ella corners you and tells you Lindy’s ‘busy’ that afternoon so someone will have to go to the Formal Committee meeting for her – of course, I was still supposed to go for Ella, no thanks needed. Not that I was really convinced that Lindy had done an awful lot on Monday…? But still, my poster work hadn’t come close to Govi’s and I could do with an art student in my arsenal. So, enter Rica.

  I dragged myself into the auditorium and looked around. I was, strangely, one of the first kids there.

  “Hey. You’re Ella’s sister, right?”

  Oh, I froze. I froze so bad. “Yep,” I squeaked then winced, glad he was behind me.

  “Cool. Look, I was wondering if she was coming today or…?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “Okay…” he said slowly. “Oh, hey man!”

  I blinked and saw Govi walking towards us.

  “Hey, hey! You met my girl!” Govi laughed loudly. As he reached me, he put an arm around my shoulder and spun me to face (gasp) Elijah Sweet – like I didn’t know! I felt like a pebble between mountains, both in relation to their height and personalities. “Eli my man, meet Chloe. Chloe here thinks you’re an enigmatic little boy,” he scoffed and I watched Elijah’s eyebrow rise with interest.

  I shook my head. “No…” I swallowed and tried again. “No…” I breathed not much more successfully than the first time.

  Govi chuckled and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “Ridiculous, huh?”

  “Shut up,” I shot back at him, then cleared my throat. “Elijah, nice to…meet you.”

  “Call me Eli,” he said with that sinful smirk and I was amazed that my brain only softened and stuttered a little around the edges.

  After watching him all Monday afternoon with the girls around the room, I had a sneaking suspicion he was attempting (and succeeding) to use seduction to get out of doing any real work. And that was something I could hang onto and use to fuel my brain’s continued functionality. If there was one thing I hated, it was people who took all the credit and did none of the work.

  Cough, Ella, cough.

  “Eli…” I squeaked, nodding.

  “You’re Year Eleven, yeah?” Eli asked.

  I nodded “Yep.”

  “You a dancer, too?”

  “Kinda.”

  “Artist?”

  “Oh no,” Govi chuckled. “I’ve seen her skills with a texta and it is nothing to write home about.”

  I shook my head and my breathy “No…” seemed unnecessary after Govi’s announcement.

  “Theatre?”

  I snorted, full of nervous giggles threatening to erupt. The idea of me acting was absurd. “No.”

  Was I sweating? I felt like I was sweating. Great rivulets of sweat cascading down my body and flooding the whole damned room. My brain had managed not to melt for once – in fact, it was running at an unusually crazy fast pace – but apparently I still couldn’t really string much in the way of words together.

  “Gin’s multidisciplinary,” I heard Rica say and we all turned to see the paint-splattered lovable freak walk through the door. She was, as usual, wearing a baggy t-shirt under a baggier pair of overalls with her button up shirt tied around her waist. All she needed now was glasses and a pony ta
il…

  God, she even had paint streaked through her mess of dark blonde hair. Actually, on closer inspection, it looked like she might have put that there on purpose… Why was I not surprised?

  “Gin?” Govi asked, looking down at me with a humoured smirk on his quite frankly adorable face and I elbowed him playfully in the side.

  “Short for Gingernut,” Rica answered, tapping the side of her head. Which I knew meant she was referring to my hair colour, I wasn’t so sure the others did though.

  The two boys looked at her, then me, and back again.

  “It’s a family thing.” She shrugged, seemingly completely unfazed by the boys beside me. “Where do you want me?”

  I looked around for Milly, shoving Govi’s arm off me as I threw him a smile. “Dunno, we were at that table yesterday,” I pointed to it, “but Lindy was on ticket cutting. Why don’t you and Govi get started and I’ll see what Milly wants me doing?”

  “What? And I’ll miss your wit-acious quips?”

  “Wit-acious is not a word, and Rica’s lovely. Oh. Rica, Govi. Govi, Rica.”

  “And. Eli.” Govi kicked his head towards him, looking amused I’d forgotten his friend – although, forgotten was not the word I’d use – and I nodded.

  “Yep. And Eli.” I nodded again as I refused to look at him. “Yep.” I popped the ‘P’ and looked anywhere but Eli Sweet.

  Govi chuckled but mercifully said nothing about that. “Come on then, Rica. Let’s get started while Clo finds her place in the world.” He started walking away. “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

  “Shut up!” I laughed at him then realised I was left standing next to Eli by myself and my laughter flat-lined quickly. I nodded at him and gave a weird grimace-smile in response to his questioning look, then hurried off to where Milly was thankfully across the other side of the room.

  “Ah…you…” she said as I approached her, her face falling into the confusion most people feel when they realise they should remember my name but don’t.

  “Yes, me. I’ve swapped out my poster station, so I wondered where else you needed me?”

  She looked me over like I was going up for auction. “Why are you here, again?”

  I sighed. “Because Ella sent me. I can go if you really don’t want me?”

  Milly looked down at her clip board and sighed. “Look, you’re only Year Eleven and I don’t know you, but we’re already short-handed. Add to that Ella’s lack of show?” She huffed and I was reminded there was no love lost there. “If you don’t mind helping…?”

  I shrugged. “I said I would and a Cowan signed up, so a Cowan should really be here.”

  Honestly, I couldn’t go even if Milly wanted me to; Ella expected me to keep an eye on Eli so I was going to have to stay and do that – though the how still eluded me. There was also a huge part of me that was driven by a need to make sure that someone lived up to Ella’s commitments if she wasn’t going to. She’d signed up for the committee so someone had to be there and do the work in her place. Who better than her understudy to stand-in for the leading lady when she didn’t deign to show up? That was why I’d been born after all.

  Milly was still looking me up and down like I must have some ulterior motive. And I guess in a way I did. But honestly, I just wanted to make posters, or sew drapes, or cut tickets, or untangle fairy lights, or any other number of odd jobs that needed doing, then go home and do my own thing, maybe finish one of my books.

  Finally, she nodded like I’d finally met approval. “Okay, thanks.” She looked back down at her list. “What are you good at?”

  I blinked. “Whatever. I fetch, I carry–”

  “Do you sew?”

  I shrugged. “Depends what you want done.”

  “Handle money?”

  “Better than some.” Cough, Ella, cough.

  “Right. I’ll put you down for ticket sales shifts. It’ll be lunch times from Monday week eight. Don’t worry, you won’t get every lunch.”

  I shrugged again. “Whatever suits.”

  “You were on posters on Monday?”

  I nodded. “Govi was picking up a fair bit of my slack. We got about three done I think?”

  A ghost of a smile lit her face. “You’re not arty?”

  “I’m more interior decorator arty, at best. I can’t make anything, but I can put it all together in some semblance of decent.”

  Milly gave me that assessing look again, then nodded. “Okay. Well if you managed to keep Gabriel on task, then you can stick with that for now. I’ll let you know if I need– BRENDA!” Milly suddenly shrieked and I winced. “Brenda! Get that material off the floor!”

  “Uh, well… If you don’t need me for anything else then…” I said, starting to back away slowly.

  Milly’s gaze fixed back on me before it flickered down to her clipboard. “I’ll let you know, but posters are the priority right now.”

  I nodded in agreement, like I knew about these things.

  “Do you have the specs sheet?”

  I paused. “Uh, we did on Monday… Although I think Govi made an aeroplane out of it…” I grimaced in apology.

  Milly just rolled her eyes and shuffled her papers before holding one out to me. “Here. Try to keep him occupied with less important documents, yeah?”

  I nodded quickly. “Sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks.” Her eyes slid behind me again. “BRENDA!”

  I turned and rushed over to Govi and Rica. “Well, that was fun.”

  Rica was in her element, totally lost to creation and Govi was staring at her in wonder.

  “She’s amazing,” he whispered harshly at me as I plonked onto the chair next to him and we both just kind of sat and watched her for a little while.

  “Eh, she’s all right,” I answered with a shrug.

  Govi chuckled and the corner of Rica’s mouth turned up.

  “I’ve spent years working on my craft,” she said as she stepped back to look at what she had so far and running her paint brush over her fingers absently. “Much the same as you’ve spent years on music. What I do is no better just because it’s different.”

  “Uh, yeah. What you do is totally better,” Govi said, sounding in complete awe.

  Rica looked up at him through her fringe and gave him a shy smile the likes of which I’d never seen on her face before. I looked between the two of them with interest for a moment as they just looked at each other, a smile growing on my own face. I didn’t know if there’d been some words exchanged while I was gone, or if Rica had just had a moment to realise that Govi was super cute and seemed to have that kind of personality that makes you simultaneously crush on him hard and divulge your deepest secrets like you’re already best friends.

  Finally, Rica pointed to Govi’s posters with the end of her paint brush. “I like your trees.”

  Govi grinned winningly. “They look like shit compared to yours.”

  Was that an actual blush I saw on Miss Erica Gorman’s face?

  “That’s not true,” she said, looking down like she was embarrassed and going back to her poster while she smoothed her fringe.

  “Well I’m going to keep colouring in pretty glittery letters because that’s about all I’m good for,” I interjected.

  “You’re good for plenty. Stop fishing for compliments,” Rica said with faux exasperation as she was doubled over her poster and I heard the smile in her voice.

  “I’m not fishing for compliments. I just happen to know every one of my extensive deficiencies. But I am willing to give anything a go.”

  “Anything, eh?” Govi chuckled and winked when I looked at him.

  “Down boy.” I shook my head.

  “Your only extensive deficiency is not living for yourself,” Rica snapped and I knew my flippant whining was annoying her. But she knew I wasn’t being serious, she just hated when I put myself down because it was what most people seemed to do. “Unless Gov
i is likely to consider your extreme nerdiness a deficiency.”

  “Well, that all depends on what kind of nerd she is. The academic kind or the fandom kind?” Govi asked as he pulled open the glue pot.

  “Both,” Rica said simply, then stood up again to look over her work, which looked like it was going to be an amazing dark forest scene with mysterious eyes in the shadows. She looked up at Govi, then I noticed how her eyes slid off him like she was going to get ridiculous if she looked at him for too long. “Gin – appallingly to some people – wants a career outside the arts and spends more time mooning over Doctor Who, the Marvel Universe, or her latest book, or whatever other nerdy thing she’s into than she does contemplating her audition pieces. Not,” here, she glared at me accusingly, “that she doesn’t get accepted to every damn thing she auditions for.”

  “Like what?” Govi challenged.

  I shrugged. “She’s exaggerating. I’ve auditioned for two things in my life and happened to get into them.”

  “Two for two, that’s one hundred percent,” Rica pointed out.

  “Thank you. Yes, I do math.”

  “You ace math.”

  “Shut up.”

  “Okay, okay,” Govi interrupted us, his hands up. “So what did she audition for?”

  I glared at Rica, daring her to tell him. The way she grinned at me, I knew she fully planned to.

  “Well, Winters doesn’t count. But she auditioned for Merriman’s and a spot on Got Talent.”

  I waved her words away.

  “No shit! How did you do?”

  “She turned them both down,” Rica said with annoyance.

  “I had to audition, but I couldn’t accept when Ella didn’t get through.”