My Girlfriend's a Geek, Volume 2
Page 8
I bet you’ve used that trick with your dirty materials before!
… What in the world are you doing?
ME: I’ve never gone to such lengths to hide a book!
Y-KO: I guess you’re right… Porno mags don’t have dust covers, so it wouldn’t work.
ME: No, that’s not the reason why I don’t do it…
Y-KO: Oh, are you the DVD type? I bet if I popped open the case of Home Alone, I’d find a completely different disc inside!
ME: Let’s try not to get too in-depth with this discussion…
… Though you’re right, I do have Home Alone on DVD…
Y-KO: Oh, I switched the disc out.
ME: And put what inside?! When did you do this?!
Y-KO: Well, you know. Remember how you found out about me putting BL things into your pocket Six Codes case?
ME: Yes, and it was a very unpleasant surprise…
Imagine seeing the nation’s code of law replaced by BL…
Thanks to that, I’ve been taught to check the contents of my cases habitually…
Y-KO: Plus, it goes against my personal philosophy to get caught twice with the same method.
I’ve been looking into alternate methods of hiding my BL materials.
ME: Look… The reason I don’t want you to bring them into my room…
… is because I’m afraid that my friends will run across them…
Y-KO: … Huh? Well, why do you think I’m trying to find ways to hide them?
ME: Good point! Quite salient! I never realized you were so considerate, Y-ko!
Y-KO: I know, right?
ME: Wrong.
I pinched her cheeks and pulled them apart.
Byoiiing.
… Of course, I made sure not to go too far.
Y-KO: … Mwwohohhww!
Well, I can’t understand her if she talks like that.
I let go of her cheeks.
ME: … Sorry, you were saying?
Y-KO: Stop that! What if that causes me to awaken to the pleasures of masochism?
ME: Is that what you’re worried about?!
I don’t think there’s any cause for concern—you’ll be a black-hearted sadist your entire life!
ME: I have to admit, though… I’m impressed at your hiding skills…
Y-KO: They’re good, huh? I’ve been working on them for years.
As a matter of fact, my hiding system has 108 different techniques!
ME: Another Prince of Tennis reference, I see…
As a matter of fact,
after the incredible popularity of the Atobe reference last post (so many comments!!), I had to see what the manga was like these days, and it’s really gone off the deep end, hasn’t it?
And to think, when I was in middle school, the most extreme move in the series was the twist serve…
Y-KO: Of course, in my own apartment, I don’t bother to hide the BL at all.
ME: I feel that is a problem in and of itself.
Y-KO: Shut up. You’d be surprised at how useful this object-hiding skill is, though.
Like when I’m searching for other people’s porno stuff. I already know where I’d hide it!
ME: Sounds like an incredibly pointless skill. And you didn’t find any in my room, did you?
… At least, none that weren’t brought in by you, yourself.
Y-KO: Exactly! I was so disappointed not to find anything!
I even abandoned my pride, crawling on the floor, looking behind the shelves,
in case there were any holes big enough for a ballpoint pen stem to fit through!
ME: Who would go to those lengths for mere porno mags?!
Y-KO: Heh… You only say that because you have no idea of the shock of coming home one day only to learn that your family had discovered your secret stash and put it on display, neat and tidy in your bookcase… If you knew that terrible shame, you’d develop a double-stacked secret drawer to hide your goodies, too!
ME: Wow… Is that coming from personal experience, then?
Y-KO: Oh, yes. You wouldn’t believe the screaming.
ME: … Sounds like it was pretty traumatic for you.
Y-KO: Huh? Me? No, I was the one who found the stash.
My brother was the victim.
Oh dear God!!
ME: Is that the reason why I didn’t see you and your brother speaking very much when I went to visit your family last year?!
It certainly sounds like the kind of thing that could easily tear a sibling relationship into shreds!
And I have to thank God that I never had a little sister like her!
Y-KO: So, don’t bother trying to hide any porno mags from here on out.
I’ll find them all and hang them up in a public place while you’re out of the house.
ME: You inhuman monster!
Oh, the barbarity of it all!
Y-KO: Oh, it’s not like I told Mom and Dad about it.
ME: … And why not?
Y-KO: Because then I could get him to pay for my silence.
ME: ……
* Behind the drawer: A trick that Light Yagami, protagonist of Death Note, utilized with the desk in his bedroom.
* 108 techniques: A reference to the 108-technique Hadokyu style that appears in Prince of Tennis, a tennis manga that is steadily transforming into a fighting manga.
DS.
2007/03/10 14:48
The printer in my house finally gave up the ghost, so I visited an electronic appliance store to buy a replacement.
While there, Y-ko discovered the megahit video game handheld console—
sold out everywhere for the entirety of the previous year—the Nintendo DS.
Y-KO: Oh, hey… DS! A Nintendo DS!!
ME: It sure is. First time I’ve ever seen one available for sale.
Y-KO: Hang on! I’m going to buy it!
ME: Buy it…? Do you actually have the cash…?
Y-KO: No! But if I don’t buy it now, I’ll regret it!
So hang on a moment!
ME: ……
… An instant decision.
If this doesn’t define the term impulse buy, I don’t know what does…
Ignoring my exasperated looks, she finished up at the register and returned, grinning.
Y-KO: Heh-heh-heh. Got my DS!
ME: Good for you…
What games did you get?
Y-KO: … I didn’t get any…
I spent all my money on the system itself…
ME: Oh… Well, it’s no fun just holding the system. Want me to buy something?
Y-KO: Are you sure?! Super Robo, then! Super Robo W!
Bonta’s in it, you know! You have to get it! Okay?! Okay?!
ME: … Ooh, how about this brain-training game? Those are popular now.
That, or maybe this test of common sense… or wait, this English trainer could be useful.
Y-KO: Excuse me?! Are those the best choices you can come up with?!
What’s so fun about teasing me like that?!
ME: Well, your Alzheimer’s seems to be flaring up recently.
I thought maybe you could use a bit of brain rehab.
Y-KO: Excuse me?! Since when was I senile?!
ME: Well, you’ve certainly forgotten our rotating schedule for doing the cooking, laundry, and garbage disposal.
Y-KO: Argh!
ME: So I’ll be buying the brain trainer, then?
Y-KO: … You’re right. I have been forgetting things recently.
Oh, wait. Where did I put that thing…? I think I’ve just forgotten!
ME: Put what thing?
Y-KO: Well, I snuck a BL book or two into your apartment recently,
but I’ve completely forgotten where it went. Where could it be?
ME: Say what?! You’d better remember right now!!
Y-KO: Oh, but I think I might remember if you buy me Super Robo W…
ME: ………!
You are completely incorrigible!
/> …… Oh, damn it all.
ME: …… But you only get to play one hour a day.
Y-KO: What! Why? That’s so strict! It should at least be two hours!
ME: …… One and a half.
Y-KO: Oh, fine… It’s not like I’m going to hold myself to that, anyway.
You’ve got a deal! Now go out there and buy me that game!
ME: ……
She just said she would ignore that rule! Out loud!
Of course, I didn’t really expect her to follow my rules in the first place.
But still, I wasn’t expecting her to announce it on the spot…
Without having fully accepted the situation yet, I went to the register with the trainer and Super Robo.
… This is terrible. If I ever have kids, I’m going to spoil them rotten.
I need to buy a book on discipline on the way home to balance this out.
Or maybe a book for new mothers.
…… The fact that I think that would actually help me is kind of sad.
Y-KO: Ooh, thanks!
My overflowing gratitude has stimulated my brain into remembering where the BL is!
ME: Yeah, yeah…
Y-KO: Inside the white bag you haven’t been using lately, inside the suitcase in your closet, and in the—
ME: That’s a lot! How much have you been smuggling into my home?!
Y-KO: Don’t sweat the little details.
I plan on using them incessantly as diplomatic negotiating pieces in the future.
ME: That’s a pretty aggressive stance on diplomacy… How much were you planning on wringing out of me?
Y-KO: Come on, don’t fuss over the little stuff. It’s okay.
Plus, I know you’re interested, aren’t you?
ME: Well, sure, I’ve always wanted to try it out a bit.
Y-KO: Of course you have! And I’m always generous with my stuff.
You just read all of that BL you can handle.
ME: What?! I was talking about the DS!
Y-KO: I’m glad to finally hear you admitting an honest interest.
Of course you’d be intrigued by BL. But to hear you say you actually want to “try” it…
ME: I have no interest! I don’t want to try it!
* Bonta: The mascot character from Shoji Gatoh’s series Full Metal Panic! Its name is based on Gonta, the character from NHK’s long-running kid’s program, Dekiru Ka-Na. Bonta appears as a hidden character in Super Robot Taisen W and makes a cameo in several side events within the game.
At the Bookstore.
2007/04/15 11:56
At the bookstore.
We wandered around, pointing out books and making comments.
… But of course, the books we were speaking about weren’t novels.
We were talking about manga.
ME: Hey, it’s Ookiku Furikabutte. Ooh, I didn’t know they were making an anime of this.
Y-KO: Hmm? Oh, that moe manga?
ME: No, it’s not a moe manga.
Y-KO: … That easily fantasizable moe manga?
ME: Thanks for the correction. So it still qualifies as a moe manga to you, huh?
All I see is a traditional, entertaining baseball manga.
At the very least, I’m pretty sure it’s not moe.
… And it certainly doesn’t cause me to have any fantasies.
I mean, I definitely don’t fantasize over Momo’s nice body or wish that I had a sexy coach like that in high school. No way, not me… I swear!
So stop pointing at the cover and smirking at me, Y-ko!
Y-KO: I really like baseball manga, though. They’re always entertaining.
ME: Huh? You do? Do you know all the rules of baseball?
Y-KO: Well, enough to enjoy the stories.
Especially the part about there being nine boys for main characters.
ME: And that’s by far the most important rule to you, I’m assuming…
And that’s all that Y-ko needs to enjoy something…
Y-KO: And as long as there’s an opponent to play, you’re guaranteed eighteen boys, right?
It’s the best.
ME: Guaranteed what…?
Y-KO: Guaranteed moe elements.
That’s not what they’re supposed to be for!
They’re supposed to be there to win the game!
Y-KO: And you know what they say about catchers? They “play the wife” to the pitchers.
Now, if that doesn’t get your saliva flowing, I don’t know what does.
ME: Saliva…? Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong idea about this…
Y-KO: How so? There’s a reason they use pitchers and catchers as a euphemism.
One of them throws, and the other “receives.”
ME: That’s true that they say that! It’s true, but—
Y-KO: But you really have to be jealous of the girl who helps the coach manage the team.
She’s got the best vantage point for all the moe goodness.
ME: Man, what a sick reason to want to be involved in a high school sport!
Y-KO: Well, it’s better than if she just wanted to hook up with the guys!
ME: They’re both equally distasteful!
Y-KO: The girl gets to secretly watch the coolheaded captain and the former star pitcher recovering from injury as they practice late at night. It’s an all-you-can-moe feast.
ME: Okay, thanks to that phrase, I now think that is worse than joining so you can hook up with the players!
A female manager who joins to fantasize about the players.
… Do they exist?
…… I can only pray they don’t.
But then again, ever since I learned that school libraries stock BL material,
I’ve lost a lot of faith in the things I held for granted…
… When I get home, I’m reading Touch and H2.
Mitsuru Adachi’s female managers are the best!
Y-KO: Actually, I do like baseball and all, but soccer manga is pretty good, too.
And she pointed at Whistle!
Hey, I know that one.
That really brings me back… Looks like they’ve made a special reprint edition.
ME: Next is soccer, huh?
Y-KO: They have eleven players instead of nine.
ME: It all comes down to the numbers, doesn’t it?
Y-KO: Well, when you have a match, then it’s twenty-two men on the field!
Don’t you see? All you can moe!
ME: Would you stop using that phrase?!
… Wait! Is that the reason you don’t like Prince of Tennis all that much?
Because there are only four on the court, max?!
Y-KO: Huh? No, that’s not why.
ME: Oh. It isn’t?
Y-KO: Kikumaru can create multiple copies of himself, so four isn’t actually the maximum.
ME: You call that a rebuttal? And please… multiple copies?
Y-KO: …? What’s so shocking about being able to multiply?
That stuff showed up like right near the beginning of Dragon Ball.
ME: You can’t hold a tennis manga and a fantasy action manga to the same standards!
Y-KO: Well, in this week’s issue of Jump, Echizen finally mastered chi.
ME: Chi?!
Y-KO: Chi, or ki, is a special spiritual force that dwells within the body, which, depending on its use, can lead to an all-you-can-moe state.
ME: Uh, I wasn’t asking for a definition…
And you really like that term, don’t you? At least, based on the frequency of usage…
Y-KO: Okay, I was kidding. Echizen didn’t master his chi.
ME: So you were lying…
Y-KO: April fool!
ME: That wasn’t an April fool, and April Fools’ Day has already passed.
Y-KO: April Fools’ was started in the fifteenth century, when Father April of France was sentenced to death on the first of April for telling a single lie. On the old calendar, it was April first, but in
the modern age, it’s actually today.
ME: … I was wondering why that story sounded so familiar.
That’s the lie I told you last year on April first.
Y-KO: It’s not true?!
ME: You mean you actually believed that?!
Y-KO: How awful! I trusted it! And I went and told all my friends… on April first!!
ME: So you did know it was a lie…
We made a tour around the store, babbling and arguing.
… When I glanced down into the basket I was carrying,
I noticed a stack of comic volumes Y-ko had slipped inside.
… This is heavy.
In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever used a basket in a bookstore…
Y-KO: Hmm… Well, that should do it.
ME: … You know, this is really heavy.
Why can’t you use Amazon if you’re going to buy this much?
Y-KO: Well, some things I want to see in person before I buy.
Sometimes you take a gamble based on the cover, and it turns out to be really good.
ME: Oh… Is that how it works?
Y-KO: A woman’s heart is complex.
ME: That saying doesn’t really apply when buying a ton of manga.
Plus, your reasons for buying these are anything but complex.
The answer: for moe purposes.
Three words. Not complex.
Y-KO: Hmph. How should I describe it, then?
Once again, I have bought a worthless object?
ME: Sounds like a harsh appraisal of something you intended to enjoy.
Y-KO: Once again, I have bought a moe object.
ME: ……
Well, that sounds about right.
We made our way to the register.
… Along the way, we passed the new releases section.
……
Y-KO: ……
ME: ……
… Y-ko and I made eye contact.
We walked faster.
Sped through the new releases section.
… Whew.
Once we had made it past, we breathed a sigh of relief.
Y-KO: …… I’ll never get used to it.
ME: …… Nope. Sure won’t.
For some reason, I can’t help but speed up my pace whenever I pass by My Girlfriend’s a Geek in the bookstore…