Infinite Love (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Fuck, Mia,’ he groaned as his breathing became laboured. He spanked me again, then again and again until I exploded in a frenzy of heated cries. ‘Fuck, fuck, where’s the bloody cup,’ he groaned behind me. I watched through half closed eyes still shaking as he dashed back to the small table to grab it and groaned as he released then turned his head to glare at me as I giggled.

  ‘What?’ I asked, feeling pleasantly high after my first orgasm in weeks.

  ‘You know what, I nearly bloody missed.’

  ‘But you didn’t, you have a sample and I’m all happy,’ I giggled. His face softened as he put the specimen down and cleaned himself with some tissues.

  ‘I like seeing you happy baby, I’ve missed it,’ he advised as he wandered over to where I was still bending, holding onto the door.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered as he straightened me up and tugged my skirt back into position. ‘I know I haven’t been easy to live with lately.’

  ‘Shit, that wasn’t a criticism, that’s not what I meant, Mia.’ He spun me around and clasped my face. ‘You’re doing amazing well, I’m so proud of you. You used to laugh every single day, multiple times a day and you haven’t done that or used that smart mouth of yours on me for so long. I feel like you’re turning a corner.’

  ‘Me too,’ I nodded as I looked up at him. ‘Thank you for being so patient with me.’

  ‘Hey, I have a bit of experience in feeling low and having someone to look out for me, you were amazing when I needed support, I’m here for you, ok?’

  ‘I know,’ I smiled and pursed my lips for a kiss. He tucked up against me and clasped the back of my head, and I knew that he was ready to make a meal of our kiss. ‘Sperm.’

  ‘What?’ he looked at me strangely.

  ‘Don’t’ worry, it’s not a new pet name, it’s a sperm reminder. Isn’t it supposed to be kept warm for them to test?’

  ‘Shit,’ he uttered as he released me. ‘Shitty bloody timing.’

  ‘We can snog back home,’ I offered.

  ‘Then we have a deal,’ he smiled.

  We left the clinic with the knowledge that our tests were all in order, with Gabe exceedingly proud that he had a very high and healthy sperm count, which did nothing to alleviate the pressure I was feeling that all of this was going to be on me and my challenged reproductive system.

  ‘Ok baby?’ he asked as we drove home. ‘You’ve not said a word since we left Dr. Walker’s office.’

  ‘Haven’t I?’ I broke my concentration stare out of the window and smiled at him.

  ‘You seem really down.’

  ‘It’s just a lot of money Gabe, and there’s nothing wrong with you. I’m just worried that I’m going to screw this all up.’

  ‘Mia, how many times, stop worrying about the money. I’ll pay for as many times as it takes for this to happen.’

  ‘I know and that makes me even more scared, Gabe. I don’t know how many times I’m going to be able to try. This is my first period in a year and I’m already shocked at how painful it is. My endometriosis is going to get worse with each cycle and then there’s the risk of more of those horrible chocolate cysts developing in my ovaries. There’s only a short timeframe that my body’s going to be receptive to this and I …’ I broke off and looked back out of the window and felt him take my right hand and squeeze it.

  ‘One IVF cycle at a time Mia, don’t look so far ahead. Forget it all for now. We have our hen and stag weekends coming up, then the wedding and honeymoon and the club opening. We can forget all of this until we get home. Ok?’ His voice was so reassuring, I lifted his hand and kissed it before smiling at him.

  ‘You’re not telling me where we’re going on honeymoon?’

  ‘No, but we’ll be having two.’

  ‘What do you mean two?’ I looked at him surprised.

  ‘We only have a week after the wedding to fit one in if we aren’t going to miss anymore Uni lectures, so we’ll be having a mini honeymoon after the wedding and can have a full one in our Easter break.’

  ‘A mini one would have been fine with me, Gabe.’

  ‘I know, but we’re only doing this once, I want us to have special memories of it and no regrets.’ He squeezed my hand tightly again.

  ‘You’re so sweet to me.’

  ‘Because I love you, Mia. So where are we at with Greyson’s?’ he asked. I smiled, we’d had a few arguments over what to call the club. He wanted something that clearly said it was a strip club, I wanted something a bit classier and more discreet. I’d argued that if a man had our business card in his wallet and his wife found it, it shouldn’t be obvious. I know what we were doing was perfectly legal and I wasn’t embarrassed about it, but not all women would be happy to know her partner was ogling scantily clad women after work before coming home. As the building was on the corner of Greyson and Castle Street, we’d agreed on it being called Greyson’s Gentlemen’s Club. I felt that it sounded classy and could be passed off as simply a private bar.

  ‘Staff are all recruited, last design elements will be in before Christmas and the cleaning crew will go and freshen it up on the morning of the opening. You’re not regretting postponing it?’ I asked.

  ‘No, of course not, no way was I putting off our honeymoon just so we could open on New Year’s Eve. We’re having our post wedding party there on the Friday, then the opening night on Saturday, so it all works out perfectly.’

  Gabe tucked me closely into his side as we found a few journalists still loitering outside our apartment and they automatically started firing questions at me as flashbulbs went off. I pulled on my sunglasses and trilby, which I carried everywhere, just in case. Somehow they’d gotten hold of a picture of me and I’d been splattered all over the national newspapers and the television. Everywhere I went I could feel the odd person staring as if trying to work out where they knew me from and then I’d get the occasional look of pity as they realised. Not that I wanted to hear from him, but I still couldn’t believe that Richard hadn’t even checked in with Mum to see how his youngest daughter was doing after her ordeal. I was well and truly better off without that man in my life. I kept my head down while Gabe stood behind me at the bottom door as he put his key in the lock.

  ‘Mia, when are you going to tell your side of the story?’ called a voice.

  ‘What were you doing at Milo’s that night? Were you having an affair? His girlfriend is blaming you for his death.’

  ‘How do you feel about him sacrificing himself for you?’

  ‘Gabe,’ I whispered as I felt tears pricking my eyes. When was this going to stop? I’d had enough of it, being reminded all the damn time when I was trying to move on.

  ‘ENOUGH,’ he roared behind me. ‘My fiancée has been through a horrific ordeal and lost a close friend. She just wants to deal with it in her own time without constant reminders, or being frightened to step out of our front door because you’re all down here waiting for her. Leave us in peace. Come on Mia, in you go,’ he pushed the door open for me and slammed it behind us as he pulled me into his arms. ‘Baby, I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I don’t know how much more I can handle Gabe, when are they going to leave me alone?’

  ‘Probably not until the trial is over and they have a verdict,’ he sighed as he removed my hat, kissed my head, and dug a tissue out for me. ‘It may be worth thinking about giving your side of it, in a controlled way, arrange a meeting with one of the papers and the rest may back off once your story is out there.’

  ‘I just want to leave it behind me,’ I sobbed as another set of floodgates opened. When was I going to stop crying about this? I’d sobbed all the way through my detailed report to the police weeks back and had hoped that would be a form of cleansing for me, but it seemed it wasn’t. ‘We’re opening a club, trying for a baby and getting married. I want to be happy about all of these amazing changes, not still crying over … that.’

  ‘I know, but it’s not something you’re going to get over just like that.
The club and all our personal stuff will help take your mind off it, but you need to keep working hard on the exercises Dr. Jarvis gives you, trust me, they’ll really help. Come on, let’s get you upstairs and into bed. You hardly slept last night with stressing about the appointment today. Have a good sleep and I’ll cook us something when you wake up.’

  New York

  ‘Lex, will you help me do up this Basque?’ I asked as I stood in one of Sophia’s guest suites.

  ‘That’s not your wedding one,’ she frowned.

  ‘No, I don’t want to wear it until the day, this is just so I can try on the dresses.’

  ‘Ok,’ she nodded and came and fastened the hooks for me as I held my hair up. ‘So, nervous?’

  ‘Trying on beautiful dresses? No way,’ I laughed.

  ‘I didn’t mean about trying them on, I meant that trying them on means the actual day is getting closer. You’re really not worrying about it?’

  ‘Why would I? Gabe’s in control of the day and he knows what I love so I have no worries over that and I’m crazily in love with him, stupid can’t live without him, in love.’

  ‘Really? I’d never have guessed,’ she scoffed and I laughed.

  ‘I know I do a pretty crap job of hiding it, don’t I? I miss him already.’

  ‘Jesus, like a love sick puppy.’

  ‘I am,’ I nodded. ‘I’m one smitten kitten and I miss him. New York’s not the same without him with me,’ I sighed. Gabe and Robert had slept over at his last night, for some father-son pre-wedding private bonding time, and so they wouldn’t be around for the dresses arriving this morning. Sofia was putting up Mum and Gerry and Lexi and I. Doug, Georgie and Justin had decided to stay in a hotel instead, in case they wanted to come and go at all hours.

  ‘I still can’t believe we’re here, in bloody New York,’ Lexi uttered. ‘And this place is HUGE. How much money does Sofia have?’

  ‘I haven’t asked Lex, but she’s obviously very well off. Sorry it’s all wedding stuff today, but we’ll go out and have fun tonight.’ We’d only arrived last night and had eaten a small meal and all gone to bed early. ‘Too right we will, if I have to endure another whole bloody day of dresses and Sofia and Mrs. P crying their eyes out again.’

  ‘Well you’ve emotionally stunted, I can’t believe you didn’t even cry once back home.’

  ‘It’s a bloody dress that’s all,’ she replied with a roll of her eyes.

  ‘I’ll make you cry on the day if I have to slap you Clarke, best friends and bridesmaids cry. Don’t forget we’re trying dresses for you too.’

  ‘Christ, this is the stuff nightmares are made of,’ she moaned.

  ‘O stop your whinging, you get to hook up with Sam tonight in the 40/40 club so it can’t all be bad.’

  ‘There is that.’ She broke into a big grin and I laughed. ‘I haven’t seen him for over a month, I can’t wait.’

  ‘For a tiny second I was secretly hoping Doug might break up with Sarah and throw himself at you.’

  ‘You’re like a dog with a bloody bone. He’s happy with her.’

  ‘Is he? I see how he still looks at you,’ I nodded. Sarah couldn’t get the time off work on such short notice. She worked in a beauticians, where Doug went for his waxes and she’d asked him out, the five of us hung out together quite a bit, Sam too if he came to stay. ‘I think he’d break it off with her if he knew you wanted him back.’

  ‘I’m not in that place still, Mia.’

  ‘I’m worried if you don’t get Douged again soon, you’ll forget that he’s your Neo,’ I whined with a pout.

  ‘I won’t forget,’ she smiled. ‘I’m just not ready. I don’t know, maybe if he was getting married to Sarah it might prod me into action. I’d be like Jackson from Grey’s Anatomy, just as they are about to wed I could declare my love for Doug and he’d run out of the church with me.’

  ‘Or you could just tell him how you really feel right now, without all the shame and expense of ruining someone’s big day.’

  ‘Where’s the fun in that?’ She teased as she did the last hook up for me.

  ‘It’s not supposed to be fun,’ I sighed as I looked around at her.

  ‘Don’t start. Just because you’ve reached some kind of fat Buddha enlightenment about the whole marriage and babies shit doesn’t mean I’m there yet.’

  ‘Fat Buddha! You cheeky cow,’ I giggled as I whacked her. ‘I’d call you beanpole again, but I don’t want to risk you splitting one of Sofia’s pillows and emptying one of her expensive bottles of wine on my head.’

  ‘I can’t believe I did that,’ she laughed.

  ‘Me neither, you ruined that mattress. I swear you only did it so you could shift yours into my old room and have me buy you a Tempur memory foam one.’

  ‘As if I’d be clever enough to concoct an evil scheme like that,’ she gasped, then took a surprised look at my Pirates of the Caribbean heaving chest spilling over the top of my Basque.

  ‘Stop eyeing up my tits. Ever since that kiss in the lift you’ve been gagging for me,’ I giggled.’

  ‘I’ve not been gagging, or eyeing them up,’ she uttered, looking affronted. ‘But you’re waving them about in that push up corset and they’re big, my eyes are bound to go there because I’m jealous. There I’ve said it, I’m jealous of your big tits, always have been. Men love them.’

  ‘Men love your long legs,’ I reminded her.

  ‘I’d rather have your tits than my legs.’

  ‘Yeah, but you’d look stupid with no legs and then I’d have to rename you Pussy Walker.’

  ‘Christ,’ she laughed. ‘With no legs and your tits I wouldn’t be upright to even try walking. In fact, I wouldn’t even be face first on the ground as they’d hold me up. They’d have to call me Ramp.’

  ‘Stop it, you’ll make me cry,’ I laughed.

  ‘It’s nice to see you giggling again,’ she sighed as she looked at me seriously.

  ‘I know. I’m trying, honestly.’

  ‘Very trying,’ she replied with a roll of her smiling eyes and threw me a dressing gown. We headed out to take a seat at the dining table. Mum, Sofia and Georgie were already waiting and we tucked into eggs benedict and champagne and by the time we got back to the lounge, there were racks upon racks of dresses, being supervised by Sofia’s personal stylist, Natalia.

  ‘O my God,’ I groaned. Much as I loved dresses and shopping, even I wasn’t relishing the thought of trying every single one of these on. I’d already narrowed it down by stipulating that I wanted a sleeveless sweetheart bodice with some sparkle and no trains, but even so, there were still too many. ‘Where do I start?’

  ‘Let’s do one rack at time and then break it up with Lexi and Georgie’s dresses,’ smiled Natalia.

  ‘But which rack, there’s so many.’ I ran my eyes over them all and stopped as something glinting in the sunlight caught my eye. I walked slowly over toward it and looked back at Natalia.

  ‘You can touch and pick them up,’ she laughed. I smiled and grasped the hanger and pulled it out.

  ‘Lexi, take it off me, quick take it off me,’ I yelled as I held it in my arms.

  ‘Mia, what’s wrong?’ she asked as she ran over and grabbed it as everyone looked at me horrified as I burst into tears.

  ‘I didn’t want to cry on it and ruin it.’

  ‘Mia, why are you so upset sweetheart?’ Mum asked as she came to give me a cuddle.

  ‘She’s just picked out her dress on the first go,’ smiled Natalie as she took it off Lexi and disappeared into the bedroom. ‘Come in when you’re ready to try it on,’ she called.

  ‘That was your dress?’ Lexi gasped. ‘But I didn’t even see it, I was too busy looking at you crying.’

  ‘Me too,’ nodded Sofia.

  ‘So go and try it on,’ coaxed Mum as she grabbed a tissue and dabbed my eyes. ‘But it’s the first dress you picked up, we have all day.’

  ‘Mum, it was just what I’d pictured in my head.’
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br />   ‘Then don’t keep us waiting.’ Sofia scooted me into the bedroom and I started crying again as I saw it lying on the bed with Natalia standing next to it.

  ‘I can’t have found it already, it’s the first one I saw today,’ I sniffed.

  ‘The heart wants what the heart wants, Mia. Let’s try it on and see how you feel before we get everyone else’s opinion, shall we?’ she smiled. I nodded and slipped off my dressing gown and held my arms in the air as she gently pulled it over my head and zipped it up at the back. I lifted the skirt and walked to the mirror and put my hands over my mouth as I blinked back more tears and nodded.

  ‘I love it,’ I whispered. It had a silver jewel encrusted bodice, which is what had caught my eye and layers of delicate white toile floating out from the hip, giving some fullness without it being too puffed out.

  ‘Is there anything you would change?’

  ‘It’s pretty much perfect,’ I sighed as I spun around and looked over my shoulder to see my bare upper back and shoulders. ‘If they had it with gold jewels instead of silver it would have scored eleven out of ten, but ten out of ten is just great.’ I bit my lip as I twirled again while Natalia tapped on her phone. The jewelled bodice cups hugged my breasts perfect, but if anything I’d probably have to go topless and lose the Basque, it was just showing over the top of the sweetheart neckline.

  ‘The Gods are smiling down on you today Mia, they have it in gold with the white skirt as well.’

  ‘They do?’ I gasped.

  ‘They do,’ she laughed as I quickly ran to the bedside table to get more tissues as I cried more tears of happiness. ‘Here, let’s take off that Basque, you’re so slim you don’t need anything to hold you in and your breasts will be supported by the bodice if required.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I went and stood in front of the mirror again as she showed me the picture of the gold one. I nodded and clapped. ‘That’s my dress,’ I squealed happily.