Accidental Love

by BL Miller

  "I don't know what happened, Mother…" He licked his lips as if parched. "I was up working late last night and I guess I must have been tired. I went out to get some breakfast and I must have fallen asleep at the wheel." He looked up through blackened eyes and gave his mother an apologetic look. "I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here."

  Beatrice patted his hand and used her free hand to wipe her tears. "It's all right, Honey. I'm here now. We'll call Mister Jenkins and have him meet us at the jail. I'm sure he can take care of everything."

  "I guess I shouldn't drive tired, huh?" he joked, his face twisting with pain as he tried to sit up.

  "Oh, it hurts." His sisters exchanged dubious looks at the exaggerated groan. Sergeant Mitchell politely coughed and looked at his watch.

  "Mother, I think it's time for us to leave," Ronnie said, putting her hands on the smaller woman's shoulders. "Why don't you and Susan wait for me out in the waiting room? I want to talk to Tommy for a minute."

  Beatrice nodded and headed toward her younger daughter, who quickly led her out of the room. Ronnie listened to her mother's voice trail off as they disappeared down the hallway. "…and he's such a handsome boy, Susan. I hope he doesn't end up with any scars."

  "So what's up, Sis?" Tommy grinned at her, his trademark Cheshire look not working too well with a broken nose and bloodied lip. His grin faded when Ronnie moved closer, her face showing not anger, but concern.

  "Tommy, you need help. Things are only going to get worse." Despite all that had happened between them during the last couple of months, this was still her brother. "If you get treatment maybe they'll drop the charges."

  "Treatment?" he scoffed. "You make me sound like one of those bums who live in the gutter."

  "Lots of people with money and status go into treatment, Tommy. You could go to the Betty Ford Clinic if you wanted to. I understand that's a great place."

  "If it's so fucking wonderful then you go there."

  "This time it was a pole, next time it could be another car or worse. This has to stop." She ran her fingers through her hair, frustration making itself known with a long release of breath. "You obviously have a drinking problem and probably a drug problem too."

  "One look and you can tell that, right Doctor Cartwright?" he sneered.

  "You stole Rose's pills from my house, Tommy! You tried to break into the safe in the office and you've forged my name on bank loans. If it's not drugs then what is it? You tell me, because I can't understand why else you'd be doing these things."

  "Is that what this is about? Your friend can't find her stupid pills and of course since I was in your house once in the last three years you decide it has to be me?"

  "Twice," she corrected, her jaw clenched with anger. "Or don't you remember the night you upended my coffee table?"

  "Get out of here, Ronnie," he growled. "I fell asleep at the wheel, nothing more. You're just trying to poison everyone against me."

  "I'm trying to help you, Tommy. You need a rehab before you kill yourself or someone else."

  "What I need is a fair shake--something I don't get with you around--Oh mighty Veronica, Queen of the Cartwrights."

  "Tommy…"

  "Fuck you, Ronnie!"

  "Miss Cartwright," she was surprised to find the sergeant still in the room, having forgotten all about him. "You can't do anything more here. Why don't you go see to your mother and I'll deal with him."

  "That's right, Ronnie, go see Mother and show her what a good daughter you are," Tommy snarled. "Maybe she'll even forget her pride and joy is a dyke."

  Dead silence descended on the room. Ronnie's brain tried desperately to rewrite what it had heard but to no avail. Her head hung down, the long black tresses hiding her face from the officer's view. Her emotions swirled and it was several breaths before she found her voice. "I really hope you get help, Tommy." She walked out of the room and went in the opposite direction of the waiting area, unable to face her family yet.

  Outside the snow was falling gently, creating a light haze of white against the gray sky. Ronnie leaned against the cold brick of the building. With her jacket still upstairs in the waiting room, the silk blouse was little defense against the cold wind. Still the weary executive stayed where she was, hoping the bitter chill would freeze some of her pain. Ronnie was torn between being angry with her brother and worrying that he was on a self-destructive course with only two possible endings, jail or death. His hurtful words replayed themselves over in her mind and she wanted nothing more than to be home, curled up against Rose. Rose…blue eyes closed and she let her mind fill with the vision of the young woman. Ronnie lost herself momentarily in the imaginary comfort of Rose's arms when she felt a very real hand on her arm.

  "It's cold out here. Come inside," Susan said, holding out her sister's jacket.

  Ronnie took the jacket and hugged it to her chest. "Thanks. I'll be up in a little bit. I just need some air." The warmth of the leather permeated through the silk, letting her know just how cold it really was.

  "I know what he said," Susan admitted, taking the jacket and holding it out for Ronnie to slip her arms in. "Sergeant Mitchell pulled me aside and told me."

  "Terrific. Maybe he'll put it in his report too." She straightened up long enough to get the jacket on, then leaned back against the wall.

  "He promised me he wouldn't say anything. He was just worried you were upset." The redhead put her hand on her sister's shoulder. "Why don't you take off? Go home to Rose. I'll stay here with Mother and wait for Mister Jenkins."

  Ronnie's first thought was to accept her sister's offer and escape to the one person who made her feel comfortable…to get away from this mess she did not want to deal with and return to her sanctuary. But while being the oldest meant being in charge, it also carried with it a great deal of responsibility. She sighed. "No, you know I can't leave until it's over."

  "I know, I just thought I'd at least offer." Susan looked at the falling snow and shivered. "You know I'm freezing out here."

  "Why don't you go home to Jack and the kids? I can handle Mother."

  "No. If you have to be there then I should be there too. Come on, misery loves company." Susan and Ronnie walked back inside and headed for the waiting room. "I um…I told Mother I agreed with you about the drug thing."

  "You did?"

  The redhead nodded. "I thought maybe she would believe it more if I told her I thought he was doing drugs too."

  "What did she say?" Ronnie saw her answer on Susan's crestfallen face.

  "She doesn't believe it's as bad as I told her, and I even mentioned what you told me about those pills missing from your house and the bank loan." She looked up at Ronnie and they shared a quiet but sad understanding. Nothing they said would change their mother's opinion. They reached the outer doors of the emergency room.

  "Well…one good thing, I guess…" Ronnie began. At the expectant look, she smiled. "It's nice to know you're on my side in this. It makes it easier."

  "Hey, we may not be best friends kind of sisters but we're still sisters," Susan said. "Besides, I'm holding you to the winter barbecue this weekend."

  "Deal." Together they walked back to face the long evening of waiting around as the wheels and paperwork of justice turned slowly.

  *********************

  The sound of a car door woke Rose from her sleep. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, noting by the red numbers of the clock that it was well past midnight. "Ronnie? I'm awake," she called when she heard the sliding glass door close.

  "Oh." A moment later the executive appeared in the doorway. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

  "No," she lied while turning on the lamp. "I wanted to be awake when you came home anyway." Patting the empty space on the bed next to her, she asked, "So what happened?"

  Ronnie sighed and flopped down on the bed, her head gratefully sinking into the thick pillows. Both shoes hit the hardwood floor and pantyhose covered toes wiggled in relief. "Ah, much better." Her watch followe
d her bracelet to the small side table. "Tommy was drunk and loaded with heroin and ran his car into a telephone pole."

  "Was anyone else hurt?"

  "Thank God, no. He walked away with a busted nose and a few bruises. They found some cocaine on him when they searched him at the jail."

  "Cocaine? Oh Ronnie, that's awful."

  "You should have seen Mother's face when they added possession to the list of charges." She shook her head. "I still can't believe they gave him bail." She rubbed her face vigorously with both hands. "I don't know, Rose," she sighed. "I knew something was up but I figured it was pot, not coke." She took a deep breath. "That stuff's going to kill him and he doesn't even care. I tried to talk to him about going to rehab but he wouldn't listen." A brief look of hurt crossed Ronnie's face at the memory of her brother's hateful words. "I guess whatever I say doesn't matter."

  Rose heard the sadness in her friend's voice and knew there was more to what happened than she was letting on. She shifted on the bed, turning so her upper body was facing her companion.

  "Has he always had this animosity toward you?"

  "No." Ronnie stared up at the ceiling. "When we were younger, Tommy was my shadow. Anything I did, he wanted to do. If I was interested in something, he was interested in it."

  "What happened?"

  Ronnie shrugged. "I don't really know. We started getting older and things changed. I think he always assumed that since he was the only son, he would be the one to take over when our father stepped down. I think he resented me because of that."

  "Yet you still try to help him."

  "He's my brother. What else can I do?" She laced her fingers behind her head. "He had such potential, Rose. I hate seeing what these drugs are doing to him."

  "Maybe there's still hope that he'll seek treatment on his own."

  "Maybe," Ronnie conceded. "I suppose anything is possible. God, he just gets me so angry sometimes. I could have had him arrested for embezzling and I didn't. You think he cares? No, I try to help him and he turns around and calls me a d…" She stopped the word before it left her throat. "…a damn bitch," she amended. "Ah, doesn't matter, I guess."

  "It matters." Rose reached over and placed her hand on Ronnie's shoulder. "Maybe your family doesn't care but I do. He had no right to hurt you like that. You don't deserve it. You, Veronica Cartwright, are one of the most loving, gentle people I have ever met and anyone that doesn't see how special you are is blind."

  Ronnie reached over and tousled the younger woman's hair. "That goes both ways, my friend." There was more, so much more she wanted to say, but fear held her back. Part of her wanted to pull Rose into her arms and keep her there for eternity and the other part screamed the truth that would keep them forever separated. Her playful mood disappeared as the latter part won out.

  "Hey, I think we'd better get to sleep."

  "Oh…okay." Rose was surprised by the sudden change but realized perhaps it was better to wait than to push the issue. There were still parts of Ronnie that were closed to her and she did not want to do anything to make her friend uncomfortable. She settled back on her own side and waited for company under the covers.

  Ronnie looked at the woman waiting for her and Tommy's words echoed through her mind.

  "Maybe I should go to my own room. You're sleeping through the night without pain and you'd probably like to have the bed all to yourself again."

  "Um…I guess…if that's what you want," Rose said quietly, biting her lower lip. "I suppose you'd probably be more comfortable in your bed anyway."

  "Yeah, I suppose so." Ronnie noted her companion's voice held the same tone of regret as her own yet she still sat up and collected her shoes. "I'll see you in the morning." She stood up and walked to the door. Her hand was on the handle when she heard a quiet sniffle. She turned to see sad pools of green looking at her. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked softly.

  "N-nothing, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, Ronnie." Rose turned her head away but not before Ronnie saw a tear roll free. A second later the bed shifted as she added her weight. Long fingers cupped Rose's chin, forcing her to turn and meet the concerned gaze.

  "What's wrong?" Without thinking, her thumb began stroking the soft skin beneath it. "Tell me, Rose."

  "Are you still happy having me here? I know it's been an inconvenience and…" She was stopped by Ronnie's finger on her lips.

  "You listen to me. You are not an inconvenience to me. And yes, I'm still happy with you here. What brought this on?" She could have kicked herself as she immediately realized the answer to her own question. "I just thought you'd be more comfortable without me in your bed. It's not that I don't want you here, I swear."

  "Are you sure?"

  "I'm sure."

  "I guess I'm just being silly. Getting all upset just because you want to sleep in your own bed." Rose wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I can just imagine what your family would say if they found out you were sleeping with me. They'd probably think I was turning you into a lesbian or something. We can't have that, now can we?"

  Ronnie let out a deep breath and shook her head. "No, we can't have that." She stood up and gathered her pillows. No, can't have them thinking that Veronica Cartwright is a lesbian, can we? Wouldn't want to mess up the family's perfect image. It's okay that Tommy is out wrapping cars around poles and breaking into places but heaven forbid I take a woman into my bed. " I'll see you tomorrow, Rose."

  "Would you leave the door open so Tabitha can get in, please?"

  "Sure. Good night, Hon."

  "Night, Ronnie. Pleasant dreams."

  "You too." She shut the light off and left the room, a heavy blanket of loneliness settling over her.

  Opening the door to her room, Ronnie was struck by just how foreign it seemed to her to sleep without Rose. The silk blouse and skirt landed in a pile on the foot of the bed, followed quickly by her bra and pantyhose. She pulled the blanket back and sat down on the cool sheets. Seconds ticked by as loneliness gave way to anger. Anger that grew until sleep was no longer an option. A few minutes later her sweats were on and she was heading for the basement to work out some aggression.

  Thwap! Thwap! Over and over the punching bag took the fury and rage of a woman torn between what she needed and wanted and what was expected of her. "Damn it! Why can't they understand?" Ronnie cried out to the empty gym. "I'm not hurting anyone!" Her gloved fists struck the bag over and over. Thwap, thwap, thwap. "Why is it so wrong? Why?" Her only answer was the creaking of the punching bag on its hinge as her blows caused it to sway.

  On the floor above, Rose lay in the dark, listening to the muffled sounds coming from the basement. Oh Ronnie, what did he say to hurt you so much? She hugged the pillow tightly against herself, wishing it were her friend she was holding. Suddenly the sounds from below stopped, followed a few minutes later by the sound of the basement door opening. "Ronnie?" she called out.

  "You okay?" The tall figure appeared in the doorway, her silhouette invisible against the darkness of the night.

  "I um…I…would you mind spending one more night with me?"

  "Is everything all right?" Ronnie crossed the room and put her knee on the edge of the bed.

  "I just…I had a bad dream and can't get back to sleep," she fibbed. There was silence for a moment before Rose felt the blanket being pulled back and the soft warmth of Ronnie's body nestling up against hers.

  "Better?" the throaty voice asked.

  "Mmm," Rose snuggled closer, resting the back of her head against the soft crook of the offered shoulder. "You comfortable?"

  "Very," came the sleepy murmur. "Night, Rose."

  "Night, Ronnie." She closed her eyes and smiled as the older woman's breathing became deep and even. "Everything will be fine. Rest well," she whispered before allowing sleep to claim her as well.

  *****************

  "Miss Cartwright, may I speak with you for a minute?" Laura asked, poking her head around the door.

  "Sure, come in." R
onnie set her pen down and looked up, noting the smile on the young secretary's face.

  "I wanted to tell you the good news myself before everyone in the office hears it."

  "You're pregnant," the executive guessed. The young woman nodded happily. "Congratulations. I know you and Mike were trying. How far along?"

  "Thanks, I'm three months now. I have a feeling Mike's made himself that quarterback he always wanted. I'm certainly gaining enough weight." She looked at the couch, then at her employer.

  "Please, take a seat. So you're going to be going out on maternity leave just in time for summer."

  "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Mike doesn't want me to work once the baby's born. He just got a promotion and he thinks we can make it on one income."