Accidental Love

by BL Miller

  "So she owes you for everything you did for her when she lived with you?" It sounded ridiculous but no one was laughing. I can't believe you. Rose deserves so much better in her life than a piece of trash like you.

  "You could look at it that way. I look at it this way. I could have rented her room to someone who would have paid me. She owes me the money I lost by not being able to rent it. When she left I had to start paying for a babysitter on bingo and bowling nights. My generosity can only go so far. I'm not rich, you know. I can't afford to be as charitable as you."

  As… Ronnie gripped the edge of her desk. You bitch. She now had no doubt about Delores'

  reason for coming to her office.

  "You decided that Rose owes you money because she lived with you when she was a teenager, is that right?"

  "Exactly."

  "And since she owes you all this money you feel she should move in with you and work at this job so she can pay off what she owes you, right?"

  "Right."

  Ronnie's lips pulled back into a smile much like a cobra just before it strikes.

  "But since I'm her friend you thought you'd come and see if there was something I could do, right?"

  "Well, we're not talking about much to someone like you. If you're really her friend I'd think you'd want to help her out." Delores said indignantly.

  "And I could help Rose out by paying off her debt to you, is that the idea?" Ronnie was tired of the game and the dirty looking woman who was trying to use Rose. Time to get to the point.

  "How much?"

  "Well, you have to take into account how long she lived with me and then…"

  "I said how much?" Ronnie did her best to keep the hostility out of her tone. "Come on, I'm sure you had a figure in mind when you walked in here. How much do you think Rose owes you for taking care of her?" She pulled the checkbook out of the drawer and opened it up.

  "Five…no, ten thousand."

  "Ten thousand dollars and you'll walk away and leave Rose alone?"

  Dollar signs danced in front of Delores' eyes and greed sang in her heart. She almost agreed, then she realized that the rich woman was giving in much too easily. "Wait." She stood up and walked over to the desk, leaning her chubby hands on the polished wood. "What if I said I wanted fifteen thousand or even twenty?"

  "Is that what it would take?"

  "You're really willing to give me twenty thousand dollars?" Suspicion set in. "Why?"

  "I have my reasons." She picked up the pen to write the check and stopped herself. She had no intention of using the pen that Rose got her. Reaching into the drawer she pulled out another one and began writing.

  "It's B-i-c-k-"

  "I know how to spell it."

  "You know," Delores laughed nervously. "I always knew she'd find someone to take her in." Her eyes widened as the zeros were added to the amount box. Feeling victory within her grasp, she relaxed and rested her hip against the desk, much to Ronnie's annoyance. "Twenty thousand dollars. Humph. May not seem like much to you but I can get a new trailer for that."

  Ronnie stood up and tore the check out of the book. "And for the cost of a trailer you are willing to get out of Rose's life and leave her alone forever, right?" Delores reached for the check but she held it up in the air. "That's the deal. For twenty thousand dollars you stay away, never call or stop by. You'll forget that she exists."

  "Give me that check and I'll forget all about her," Delores promised, her forefinger and thumb grasping at the corner of the paper.

  "Don't you even want to say goodbye to her?" The executive held the check tightly, refusing to give it up without an answer. She did not expect the one she got.

  "Why? Is it worth more money if I do?" Delores looked at her expectantly.

  Ronnie forgot about the videotape in the shock of hearing the cold words. With an angry tug she jerked the check back and stood up, her six-foot frame towering over the shorter woman. "You bitch." Blue eyes blazed with fury. "You never cared about her at all, did you?" Her hands balled into fists, crumpling the check. "You took her in just for the check each month and to have a built-in babysitter!" Knuckles turned white under the pressure and the check suffered more damage.

  "The check…" Delores pointed out. "We have a deal."

  Ronnie lowered her head, the long black hair hiding her face. "The money. That's all you worry about, isn't it?" Her voice was quiet, low…the calm before the storm. "You used Rose for money. You used her as a child to get money from the State and when she was struggling to survive you took money from her." Jerking her head up, Ronnie locked eyes with the woman she hated. "Now she's lying there with two broken legs and instead of worrying about her you're trying to get money from me."

  "You want to get rid of me? Give me the check and I'm gone." The large woman held her hand out.

  "You want the check?" Ronnie flattened the rumpled check out, then held it out in front of her. She tore it neatly in two, then put the pieces together and tore it again. "I'm sure the State of New York paid you far more than you ever spent on Rose." Another tear. "There were weeks when she spent next to nothing on food for herself yet sent you a check because you managed to convince her that she owes you somehow." She threw the pile of confetti on the desk. Delores could only stand there and watch as her plan fell apart. "You have used Rose for the last time. Get out of my office before I have Security throw you out."

  "You can't…"

  "I can't what? Throw some lazy bum out of my own building?" Ronnie pressed her knuckles against the desk to keep from reaching across and striking the loathsome woman. The muscles in her forearms bunched and clenched in readiness. "You hurt Rose and I won't allow you to do it again. You don't deserve to know someone as kind and gentle as she is. Come within sight of my home and I'll have you arrested. One phone call, one letter, any attempt to contact her and I'll make your life a living hell."

  With all prospects of money gone, Delores had nothing left to lose. "You think you're so smart with all your fucking money. You don't know NOTHING!" She stormed over to the couch and snatched her cap and jacket. "You think Rose was the only foster kid I had?" The door opened and two beefy security officers entered, no doubt summoned by Laura after hearing the loud voices.

  "Is there a problem, Miss Cartwright?"

  "Escort this…" Bitch came to mind but a sense of decorum had to be maintained at the office.

  "…trespasser outside and make sure she never comes in again."

  "You keep your hands off me," Delores grabbed her bag and stormed out in front of the uniformed men. "You make sure Rose knows you're the one that made me stop talking to her. It's all your fault." The outer office door closed, leaving a confused Laura and a furious Ronnie standing there.

  "Laura, take the rest of the day off. I'm going home early." She shut the door and walked over to her desk. The bits of check were tossed into the trashcan and her prized pen was put back in her desk drawer.

  There was a quick knock before her door opened. "Ronnie?" Susan poked her head in. "What happened? I heard they called Security to your office."

  "Nothing important, just some business I had to take care of." She waved her hand dismissively.

  "Don't worry about it."

  "You know I'm going to find out anyway. You may as well tell me." The redhead entered and shut the door.

  "I am entitled to something of a private life." She sank into her chair, a bone deep sigh escaping her lips. "Let this one go, Sis."

  "Does it have to do with Rose?" The quick jerk of the head answered Susan's question. An awkward silence fell between them for several seconds before she spoke again. "Um…" The younger Cartwright looked down at her nails. "If um…well, I know you don't really have anyone close to you except Rose and well, I guess, me. If…if you need someone to talk to…well, I'm here." She straightened up and took a step back. "The boys keep asking when they can come over again." Clearing her throat, Susan continued, her gaze falling upon her older sister. "When I explained to J
ohn that Rose lives with you, he asked me if that made her his aunt too."

  "I told you…" Ronnie began only to be stopped by an upraised hand.

  "I know. I told him that she wasn't, but if it was okay with her, he could call her that."

  Looking down at her desk, the executive smiled, understanding the unspoken gesture behind the words. She stood up and although never very affectionate to her sibling, Ronnie reached over and wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulders. "How about tomorrow night? I'm sure Rose can't wait to have her wrestling guy trampled again." She released the casual embrace. "But how about right now I take us out to lunch? Somewhere nice, how about Maurice's or Giovanni's?"

  "Oh, that sounds nice, but how about trying that new Chinese place up on Western Avenue? I heard they have excellent food."

  A small icon on the screen caught the corner of Ronnie's eye. With a start she remembered the videotape. "Uh…yeah, that sounds good." She turned to the computer and shut off the camera.

  "Why don't you go get your coat and meet me down in the lobby? I have a couple of things here I need to finish up."

  **************************

  Ronnie took the video home and hid it in her bedroom, seeing no reason to show it to Rose right away. She knew the tape would hurt her precious friend and that was the last thing she wanted to do again. Instead that evening and the ones that followed were spent lying next to each other on the adjustable bed watching television or on the couch watching movies. Sometimes they would forgo the electronic entertainment and just spend the time braiding each others hair or doing their nails. It was a comfortable routine that she enjoyed tremendously. No mention was made about the continued sleeping arrangements and Ronnie was fine with that. If she had her way they would always sleep together. She loved the way Rose's body fit against hers. They never talked about the increased hugs and affectionate touches but Ronnie noted they were instigated by both equally.

  With Karen no longer needed, Rose filled her days working on projects for Ronnie. In addition to improving her skills, it also gave her an intense education in the way her friend's business was run. It gave them something else to talk about in the evenings other than themselves or what was on television. The late January thaw continued into February, promising an early spring. Already more grass was showing in the back yard than snow and the sun coming through the windows was enough to heat up the room without turning up the thermostat. Of course at night there was the added body heat of Ronnie to keep her warm. It was during those late night hours that Rose thought about her relationship with her dark-haired friend. With the exception of work, Ronnie was by her side constantly, not that Rose would ever complain. She relished the time they spent together. Often, while watching television, her head would rest against Ronnie's shoulder or even in the older woman's lap. She enjoyed those times the best. Ronnie would absently stroke her hair or let a warm hand rest upon her shoulder. They were much more relaxed around each other now. Initial embraces in bed were no longer stiff, hesitant affairs. Now, when it came time for sleep, Ronnie's arm would wrap around her waist and warm breath would tickle her neck as they molded their bodies together.

  Rose thought often about the growing affection between them. Hugs were a common occurrence and she encouraged them as much as Ronnie did. It seemed they could sense each other's needs, at least she was certain Ronnie could sense hers. When the pain in her legs flared up, the strong arms would comfort and console her. When a tear-jerker romance movie brought the need to be cuddled, there was no discussion or roundabout request, they just snuggled up against each other. But while she enjoyed the attention and affection, Rose wasn't sure she was ready for anything more or if Ronnie was even interested. There had been no kiss since they were under the mistletoe on Christmas and their conversations stayed far away from matters of the heart or sex. Whether it was deliberate on Ronnie's part or not, Rose was not sure. She only knew she was avoiding it, her feelings far too confusing to even think about giving them voice.

  Like right now. They were lying in bed watching Dateline and Ronnie's head was resting against her shoulder. Rose looked down at silky black hair mixing with her own. Her companion seemed so relaxed, so peaceful. Having her arm trapped between their bodies was no longer an acceptable position. "Lift your head up for a sec."

  "Hmm? Sorry, am I hurting you?" The lazy drawl told Rose just how relaxed the executive was.

  "Not at all. I just want to move my arm." She did so and quickly wrapped it around Ronnie's shoulder before the older woman could move away. "Now come back here." She tugged gently and was rewarded with her companion's head resting just above her right breast. "Comfy?"

  "Mmm, very."

  "Good." The commercial ended and Ronnie's attention went back to the television. Rose's did not. Her fingers began plucking at the long dark tresses. "You have very soft hair."

  "So you tell me. I think yours is softer, though. Mine's just thicker."

  Rose's fingers sank into Ronnie's hair and began massaging her scalp. "Hmm, you might be right about that," she conceded. But I like touching yours more. Slowly the small circles she was making with her fingers moved lower until they were stroking the smooth skin of Ronnie's neck. The television was completely forgotten by both women as the massage continued. How far will you let me go? A lone pinky ventured under the soft cotton shirt for a second then pulled back. Again. "Did Chris ever rub your neck like this?"

  Ronnie jerked upright, her eyes looking very much like those of a deer blinded by headlights.

  "Um, n-no…" She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. "Why do you ask?"

  "I just wondered." Rose now hesitated, the question not seeming like such a good idea anymore.

  "It's just…well, you like it so much. I would hope someone did this for you before."

  "Chris and I…" Ronnie searched for the right words. "We weren't…" It was a tossup between which was drier, her lips or her throat. "We weren't physically close. There wasn't much cuddling." She sat up completely and shifted until she was facing Rose. "I thought it was true love then." A scornful laugh revealed the old pain. "Now I know better." She lowered her head and looked at her hands. Rose remained silent, sensing Ronnie struggling with some inner demon. Finally the tall woman chose the easy way out. "At least the sex was good."

  Jokes aren't going to work with me. I know you too well, Veronica Cartwright. "You know I hate Chris for hurting you like that." She reached out and put her fingers under the strong chin, forcing the blue eyes to meet hers. "And I don't hate many people in this world."

  Ronnie took the hand away from her chin and held it within her own. "Funny." She looked down at their hands, her thumb idly brushing across the smaller woman's knuckles. "I feel the same way about people that hurt you." She paused for a moment, fear threatening to keep the words trapped inside. "You are very special to me, Rose." Her head raised and for several long seconds they stared at each other.

  Oh, my god, are you going to kiss me? Rose wasn't sure if she was excited or afraid as her heart began beating double-time. Her lips parted slightly in subconscious invitation. She was just about to move forward when she saw the radiant blue eyes flicker and look away.

  "I think that's enough serious talk for tonight," Ronnie said, reluctantly releasing the hold on the young woman's hand. The magical spell was broken and both felt a keen sense of disappointment. Another lost opportunity…another chance not taken.

  Rose was still thinking about that moment long after they had settled down for the night. She turned her face to look at the sleeping woman beside her. I wanted you to kiss me. Did you want it too? Careful not to disturb her companion, she propped herself on her right elbow and tucked her hair behind her ear. Hesitantly she lowered her lips to Ronnie's cheek, planting the softest of kisses there. Her eyes adjusted to the dark, Rose saw as much as felt the small smile come to the sleeping face. "I love you," she whispered before lying back on her pillows. Intertwining her fingers with those resting on her belly
, the young woman closed her eyes.

  "Love you too," Ronnie mumbled sleepily, unconsciously snuggling closer. The voice startled Rose for a minute before she realized her friend was still sleeping. She turned her cheek to rest against the dark head and soon fell asleep herself.

  ********************

  Ronnie opened the TV Guide and began to read off the options. "'A Walk in the Clouds' is on. We saw that one already. 'Sabrina', that's boring." She turned the page. "Let's see what's on pay per view." A gentle tug on her wrist forced her to shift the guide so Rose could look on with her.

  "There's that new Jim Carrey movie," the young woman offered.

  "I hate Jim Carrey. Look, Bruce Willis blows up another building."

  "I hate action movies. Let's watch a romantic one."

  "Why a romance and not a comedy?"

  "Well, it is Valentine's Day, silly."

  "If two people are really in love they don't need a day to celebrate it."