The Year I Met August

by Renea Porter

  “It’s no trouble at all. I promise. Just bring him some clothes and stuff tomorrow, and I can handle the rest.”

  She leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You’re the best. I know he’s in the best hands.”

  “Okay. I’ll check in on him later.” I waved.

  She entered his room, and I was left in the hall, dumbfounded. What the hell did I just get myself into? I was losing my damn mind.

  After my rounds, I had two surgeries and no time to breathe in between. I couldn’t think about anything else, knowing August would be at my place for a few weeks, in close quarters. There was bound to be some awkwardness. So much for closure.

  At five p.m., I stepped into August’s room before leaving for the day. The door was open, and I knocked before going all the way in.

  “How are you doing?”

  “Just feeling bruised and shit. Nothing I can’t handle.” He was being cold.

  I looked over his chart. “It looks like you went for a walk earlier. Want to go one more round?”

  “Sure,” he said, attempting to stand.

  “Use the walker if you need to.”

  “Aren’t you going above and beyond your duties, Dr. Tanner?” he asked.

  “No. Come on.” I motioned at the door.

  “So you and my mom are in cahoots now?”

  “August, I’m just trying to help. I live close, so your appointments don’t have to be a few hours’ drive every other day.”

  He groaned, but knew it was the best decision. We turned the corner and walked down the hall. My hand was up, ready to catch him if he fell back. My heart was beating out of my chest. Turning, we headed back to the room.

  “You’re doing well for a guy who just had surgery.” I smiled, putting my hand in my pocket.

  I watched while he got back in bed. My hand instantly went to the necklace I was wearing. I always played with it. Dinner would arrive at any moment. I swayed on my feet.

  He pointed at my necklace. “You still wear it.”

  “Every day.” I paused. “Well, I better go. Get some rest. because you’re going to have to deal with me for a few weeks.” I turned to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  It was after six when I got home from grocery shopping. Unloading the groceries, I put everything away in the prospective place and settled for a microwave meal for dinner. I was exhausted as I sat and ate. My feet were killing me.

  I was thankful that. even though I was a doctor, I could still have a social life. I rarely worked over eight hours, but some days ran longer. With the specialty I was in, it served me a good balance with life and work. I loved the work, and wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Helping people was what I thrived on. But inviting August was probably crossing all kinds of lines. I knew I was breaking some sort of rule in the doctor’s rule book. But I never played much by the rules, anyway.

  I texted Gwen, Come down. I have chocolate cake.

  She texted back, You had me at chocolate. I’m so there.

  I loved that she lived so close and we could just pop by one another’s place at a moment’s notice. Hurriedly, I unlocked the door and went to change. When I heard her knock, I yelled it was open. Walking in, she went to the kitchen in search of the cake, since I hadn’t put it out beforehand.

  Opening the fridge, she pulled the cake out and cut into it, licking the frosting from one of her fingers. Grabbing plates, she brought them into the living room where I was waiting on her. Handing me a plate, she sat on the big chair, tucking her feet underneath her while I sat on the comfy couch.

  I dipped my fork into the decadence before telling Gwen the news. “Nothing like the City Bakes Bakery.” My eyes rolled back.

  “This shit is the bomb,” Gwen confessed. “I could eat the whole damn thing.”

  I laughed. “Well, I have something to tell you.”

  “What now?”

  “If everything goes as planned, August should be released tomorrow. And I may have mentioned that he could stay here while he’s recovering,” I made an I’m bracing for your reaction face.

  Gwen’s eyes bugged out of her head, as she chocked on the cake. “Here. He’s staying here, in your apartment?”

  I nodded, biting down on my lip.

  “I’m gonna need more cake.”

  “How about some wine?”

  “Yes. I need alcohol.” She quipped.

  In the kitchen, I grabbed the bottle of Moscato and two glasses. Then, finding my seat on the couch again, I filled both glasses and Gwen took a big gulp.

  Then I told her how it started. “His mom works a lot and she can’t make the drive to get him to physical therapy. So I offered to help her out. Dragon’s Bay is just a small island. It’s pointless to come all this way. And Lee’s fifth birthday is in a month. So, yeah…”

  “He’s going to find out. You won’t be able to hide that from him. I know you.”

  “I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it,” I told her.

  “Just be careful, okay. I don’t want to see you hurt like that again. Okay?” She stood, opening her arms to hug me.

  “Okay,” I responded, standing up to hug her.

  “I better go. Mom is coming tomorrow for a weekend visit. So I need to get my apartment in order.”

  “I’ll be on call this weekend. Tell mom hi for me,” I requested.

  Walking her to the door, I locked it behind her, sighed, and took the last sips of my wine. Then I went into the spare room and flicked on the light. Grabbing a clean set of sheets, I changed the bed so August could have a fresh set. After the room was perfect, I went to my room and flipped on the T.V until I fell asleep.

  ***

  Sleeping in a little longer than usual felt nice. It was an uncommon trait I hadn’t mastered yet. Waking up, I reached for my phone and called August’s mom. She had given me her number yesterday. I let her know I’d be out front to pick up August, if she could manage to get him down.

  I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and a peasant top, and pulled a ball cap on. In the car, I added sunglasses to my disguise. The last thing I needed was for the nurses to see a doctor picking up her patient. I was sure I was breaking some sort of law.

  As promised, Helena met me at the car, while a nurse was helping him from the wheelchair and into the car. Once the nurse disappeared, Helena put his duffle bag in the trunk then leaned into the car. “Are you sure this is okay?”

  I nodded. “It’s fine. I promise. He’s in good hands.”

  “I know.” She looked toward August. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

  “See ya, Mom,” he replied.

  Pulling out of the pickup lane, I headed home. Parking the car, I moved to grab his duffle bag and guided him to my first floor apartment, taking my sunglasses off as we entered.

  “Welcome to my humble abode.”

  He gave it a once over. “Nice digs.”

  “Thanks.” I hung my keys on the hook by the door and moved across the room to set the duffle bag in the spare room, motioning him to follow me. “This will be your room. Hopefully it’s to your liking.”

  “Yeah; it’s fine.”

  “The bathroom is right across the hall. We’ll share since it’s the only one.” I walked back into the main area. “You hungry? I got bagels, unless you want something else”

  “No. That sounds good, especially after eating that hospital food.”

  I laughed. “Well, make yourself comfortable. I’ll fix us both one.”

  I moved around the kitchen, and watched as his picked up a photo off the coffee table.

  “So you and Gwen are still BFFs?”

  Looking over my shoulder, I answered him. “Yeah. She even lives here in the building, a few floors up, though. She works in labor and delivery. I only see her a few times a week because our schedules don’t always sync.”

  “I’m so glad you guys are still friends after all this time,” he admitted.

  “You still like butter on your bagels?” I aske
d from the kitchen.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “Here you go.” I handed him a bagel smeared with butter as he sat in the chair, and I sat across from him. “How’s your back?”

  “It hurts like a mother. It’s just really stiff.”

  “If you want, you can take a bath and relax. Also help yourself to anything in here; I bought some of your favorites, if I remember correctly.” I smiled.

  “A bath sounds perfect. I’ll do that as soon as I’m done eating. And thanks for everything. You didn’t have to go through all this trouble,” he said.

  “You’re welcome. There are towels in the linen closet.”

  Finishing my bagel, I took our empty plates to the kitchen, loading them in the dish washer while August went to take a bath.

  Chapter Thirty Three

  Having August in my apartment was weird. Not many people had been to my apartment. Yet, here he was, back in my life five years later. Not much had changed since I last saw him, except maybe he was more fit than I remembered, and he definitely had more facial hair, but it was neatly trimmed. Being around him brought back so many memories. My heart was racing, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach.

  Of course, I didn’t expect anything to come of us within the next two weeks. I was simply helping a friend out. Plain and simple. But deep down, it felt like more than that. Something unexplainable. It was the closure that I needed so desperately to close that chapter in my life once and for all. I needed to move on with my life. Maybe start dating again. I hated thinking about dating. It was so daunting.

  Grabbing my Kindle, I started to read while August bathed. He was naked in my bathroom. I seriously had to stop thinking those kinds of thoughts. I shook my head.

  Twenty minutes later, I looked up and saw August with a towel wrapped around his waist as he walked into the spare room. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry. Getting up from the couch, I grabbed a soda from the fridge. August appeared in the living room, dressed in a pair of dark lounge pants, a heather gray t-shirt and bare feet. Damn. I was totally screwed. Finished. Done. I wanted to worship him by confessing all my sins.

  “Want a soda?” I asked.

  “Sure. I’ll take whatever you got.”

  I handed him one and sat at the other end of the couch, leaving a lot of space between us.

  “You know I won’t bite. Unless that’s your kind of thing.” He winked.

  All I could do was shake my head. It wasn’t him I didn’t trust. It was myself. I couldn’t risk getting hurt.

  “What have you been up to these last five years?” I asked curiously.

  “Same ole, same ole. Working like a dog. Trying to stay in shape. The house is finally paid off. Hopefully, Mom slows down some. She can’t sit still,” he said, amused.

  “I doubt she’ll ever be able to sit still. Always working.”

  “Unless she had a reason not to.” He smirked.

  “Like?” I asked.

  “Like grandkids might slow her down,” he told me.

  “Oh.” Yeah, that shut me up. He laughed knowing that comment made me uncomfortable.

  “Do you see your family at all? I know you were on bad terms at one time.”

  “The only one I don’t talk to is my dad. He betrayed me and I never forgot it. I see my sister about every two weeks, and Mom about twice a month or so. And my brother once a month, if that.”

  “Ah,” August replied.

  “We definitely don’t get together for the holidays. It’s too much stress on me, and the hospital doesn’t exactly close on the holidays. Besides, Gwen usually invites me to celebrate with her family. At least they seem to love me.” I shrugged.

  August and I continued talking and catching up on each other’s life, keeping the conversation light.

  “What do you want for dinner? I have steaks, baked potatoes, tuna casserole, or sandwiches.”

  August reeled his head back. “You know how to make a steak?”

  I smiled. “I’m a master.”

  “Well then, let’s see,” he countered.

  He grabbed a seat in the kitchen and watched me move around. I handed him plates and silverware to set the table while I got started on the food. Cooking steak was a craft I mastered by cooking it in a pan and rolling butter on it while it cooked.

  “Do you want some wine, soda, or water?”

  “I’ll just take water for now.”

  Once the meal was done, I sat a plate in front of him, and brought one over for myself before sitting at the table. “I hope you like it.”

  My knife sliced through the meat like butter. Popping it in my mouth, I savored the flavor.

  “Wow. This is amazing. Probably the best steak I’ve had. You give cooking lessons?’

  “That can be arranged,” I told him.

  After dinner, I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “Do you want to go for a walk? Loosen up that back of yours.”

  “Sure.”

  “We can walk around the neighborhood and see how it goes.”

  August pulled a sweatshirt on over his t-shirt while I grabbed my jacket. Outside, I pulled my jacket around me tight. The chill was setting in. The dreariness of the day was depressing. But I didn’t have anything to be depressed about. Fall was my favorite time of year, and I loved dressing in warm clothes.

  We walked in the opposite direction of the hospital. Better to be safe, because I didn’t want to get in any trouble. Granted, August was officially released from the hospital, but still, something felt wrong about this. But I’d known August for so long. No one could fault me for helping him out. At one point, we even loved each other, and I had no regrets about that.

  Shoving his hands in his pants pockets, August spoke. “Do you ever think about what things would be like had we stayed together?”

  “I haven’t thought about it in some time. People change and grow. At least, I try not to think about it.”

  “I think about it a lot,” he admitted.

  I laughed. “Come on. You can’t tell me you haven’t dated since we broke up. I’m not that naïve.”

  “I dated, but they were never you. No one compared, so I gave up.”

  Words failed me. My breath was stolen. I let out a sigh, bracing for a truth to escape my mouth. “It killed me to let you go. But at that time, I had to. It affected me and my life. You were the first guy that I loved and walking away crippled me. It was a struggle to get out of bed, to go to class, to put on a happy facade. Life was exhausting. I vowed I’d never let anyone get that close to me. To this day, I still don’t let anyone in.”

  I felt like a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders. That was my truth.

  “I just think we could have made it work. Somehow. But I had a scare when you left.”

  My face scrunched. “What kind of scare?”

  “There was someone before I met you. We had broken up before we met.”

  We turned and started heading back to the apartment while he continued.

  “One day, she shows up after you and I had parted ways. Dawn was her name. She showed up with a baby, claiming it was mine. I was shocked to say the least. There was this little innocent being, and I wanted to do the right thing. But I was getting high more frequently. It was becoming a problem. But Dawn stuck there. I thought the situation would just sort itself out. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure the kid was mine. She had been known to sleep around. I was torn up. Dawn kept insisting that we try to make things work. For the sake of the baby. I was so dumb that I let her move in.

  One day, I was studying the little boy’s features, like really looking, and I couldn’t find a single feature that looked like mine. Then it just kept nagging at me until I finally had a DNA test done. I found out the kid wasn’t mine. Dawn and I had a big fight and I kicked her out. I didn’t have feelings for her. I know now that I shouldn’t have tried to make it work for the sake of a baby. It was dumb.”

  I was completely dumbfounded. “How could she d
o that to you? That is messed up on so many levels.”

  “Turns out she didn’t know who the father was. She knew I’d step up and be there, as messed up as the situation was. If it would have been mine, I would have stepped up and cleaned my act up, but they just messed me up even more. And the moment I lost you, my life was a shit mess.”

  He took another deep breath before he continued pouring his heart out.

  “Eventually, I got clean. I don’t drink or do drugs. I went to meetings for such a long time until I knew I was strong enough to be on my own. If you can’t have fun without those things, then there’s a problem.”

  It made sense now. “That’s why you didn’t want wine when I asked.”

  We entered the apartment. My body was chilled to the bone. I shivered as I shook my jacket off. August handed me his sweatshirt, and I pulled it on like it was an everyday occurrence. It felt familiar and cozy. Sitting at the end of the couch, I pulled my body in and tucked my legs under me.

  “Yeah. I can have a social drink here and there. I just choose not to. Why mess with the beast? I don’t want to ever slip back into those dangerous habits.”

  “I’m really proud of you, August. It takes guts to admit there is a problem. I just wish I could have been there when you realized it.”

  He reached and tapped my leg in a playful way. “Me, too.”

  Chapter Thirty Four

  We stayed up late into the night, talking and reminiscing about the days when we were young and in love. It was such a good night, I didn’t want it to end and I don’t think August did either. We didn’t go to bed until three a.m.

  I didn’t get out of bed until eleven. With my feet dangling off the bed, my phone buzzed on my nightstand. Rubbing my eyes, I clicked on the screen. It was from Gwen.

  Gwen: How’s lover boy?

  Me: OMG. He’s not my lover boy.

  Gwen: He will be by the time he has to leave. I guarantee it.

  Me: You’re nuts. And you should know I’m not that easy.

  Gwen: I know, but you guys have history. Talk to you later.

  I tossed my phone and pulled on my robe. The picture on my nightstand caught my eyes. It was a picture of Lee and me on her last birthday. We were smiling from ear to ear. It was windy that day, and our hair was all over the place, making us both genuinely laugh. The memory was as if it was just yesterday. I shoved it in the drawer so August wouldn’t see it.