Forever After (Montana Brides, Book 3)

by Leeanna Morgan

  After Nicky had gone to Denver, his victory had left him hollow and dazed. He suspected his enemy had nothing to do with a blonde beauty that had charmed her way into his heart. It was the restless wanderer inside him, never quite believing anything good came of sharing your heart with someone else.

  The sharp sting of adrenaline surged through his body. Dealing with Patrick’s betrayal was bad enough. Dealing with the emotions that Nicky stirred up was worse. And he’d be damned if he let himself fall into the same trap as last time.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “What was all that about?”

  The hair on the back of Nicky’s neck stood on end as she listened to the growl coming from her office door. Holding her pen tight, she didn’t look up. “I’m busy at the moment. If you’d like to send me an appointment for later today, I’ll be able to discuss what’s on your mind then.”

  Two large hands planted themselves on her desk. “No, I don’t like that idea very much. We’ll talk now.”

  Pushing her feet into the ground, she braced herself for the scowl she knew she’d see when she lifted her head. Taking a deep breath, she dropped her pen to the desk. She’d expected Sam to huff and puff a bit, but not so soon, and definitely not with the level of anger she could hear simmering just below the surface of his voice.

  Her gaze moved from his big hands, up his arms, and straight into a pair of eyes that glared at her as if everything that had happened was her fault. Straightening her spine, she glared right back. “I’ve got an appointment in twenty minutes.” Liar a voice whispered in her ear. Well she did, sort of. She wasn’t due to meet with the finance team until two o’clock, but with the mood Sam was in, she’d prefer to get out of her office sooner rather than later.

  “This won’t take long.”

  She didn’t like the sound of that. “I’m going to get a crink in my neck if you keep standing over me. Have a seat.” Waving him across to the farthest chair in the room didn’t do a bit of good. He grabbed the seat behind him, hauling it close.

  “What were you so upset about in the café?” he growled.

  Oh man. She really didn’t want to have this conversation now. “This isn’t work related.”

  “At least you’re ready to admit that much. If you stick with answering my questions you’ll make your appointment.”

  And what was the alternative? He looked as though he was prepared to stay all afternoon if that’s what it took to get her to open up. But she wouldn’t open up. She’d been hurt before and she wasn’t about to let him trample all over her heart again.

  “So why were you upset?”

  “I wasn’t upset.”

  His jaw clenched. “Yes you were.”

  “No I wasn’t.”

  He scowled across at her.

  She glanced at her watch.

  He ignored her. Gritting her teeth, she said, “Surprised, maybe.” Yeah right. Her stomach had fallen through the floor at the sight of his hand sitting on top of another woman’s hand. A very attractive woman’s hand.

  Her gaze dropped to his fingers, tapping against the top of her desk. They stopped in mid beat, hovering in the air. Glancing at his face, she could almost see his brain working overtime.

  “There was no reason to be surprised. It was a lunch date.”

  Nicky felt her eyes widen. Her heart rate kicked up at the determined look on his face. “A man doesn’t have a lunch date with another woman when he’s been canoodling with someone else.”

  “Canoodling?”

  Heat stormed her cheeks. “Sex, then. And kissing.” God in heaven, how could she forget about the kissing part?

  “It wasn’t that type of lunch date. Renee apologized for Patrick’s behavior. I wanted to make sure she was all right.”

  “Fine. I guess that’s the end of our discussion then.” Nicky pulled the report she was working on closer.

  He didn’t budge from the chair. “No, it’s not the end of our discussion.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He stared at her, waiting for who knew what before launching into his next line of questioning. “I want to know where you see the attraction between us going.”

  Nicky nearly gagged. “Attraction? Is that what you call having mind blowing sex with someone, then telling them to stick to the rules because that’s what they’re good at?”

  She pushed the report away. If he wanted to have this conversation now, then he’d get it. Full guns blasting. He might be a lot of things by the end of their discussion, but confused wouldn’t be one of them.

  “I did not tell you to stick to the rules,” he hollered.

  “Don’t raise your voice at me, Samuel Delaney. I’m not the one who started this relationship.”

  “What relationship? I’d hardly call running away every time I come within ten feet of you a relationship.”

  “I’m running for a good reason. You’ve never once told me how you feel about me. All you want is sex.”

  Taking a deep breath, Sam leaned forward in his chair. “I’m discussing it now, aren’t I?”

  “Do you want to be in a relationship with me or not?”

  Sam froze. “Define a relationship.”

  Nicky pushed out of her chair, too wound up to sit still any longer. “I can’t believe you asked me that.” Turning her back to him she gazed out the window, seeing nothing.

  “If you won’t answer me, then I’ll tell you what I think you mean.” He stood up, moving toward her. “To you a relationship is marriage, babies, the whole works. It’s something that lasts forever.”

  Glancing over her shoulder, she caught the tail end of a scowl streaking across his face. If he knew how close he’d come to at least one of those relationship definitions he’d stop speaking while he had the chance.

  “Well guess what?” he said quietly. “They don’t work. Not one marriage I’ve seen lasts forever. Trust, respect, fidelity…they disappear as soon as the novelty wears off.”

  “Don’t judge everyone’s relationship by Patrick’s standards. He fooled a lot of people.”

  “It’s not just Patrick. My parents, your parents, over half the damn planet moves on when the going gets tough. Why put yourself through that misery when you don’t have to?”

  She could have told him she’d already put herself through that misery. Two years ago to be exact. It hadn’t taken a wedding band or a flashy engagement ring to make her feel as though she’d left the best part of Montana behind when she’d moved to Denver.

  Losing her baby had almost broken her spirit. If it hadn’t been for Erin and Emily’s no nonsense approach to mending broken hearts, she would have found a quiet hole and drowned in tears.

  “Everyone wants to be loved, Sam. We expect the best from the person we decide to spend the rest of our life with. Sometimes it doesn’t work out.”

  She thought about her mom and dad. There hadn’t been any arguments, no raised voices. One day she’d been in school, the next day she was on a plane heading to Seattle with her mom. Sam didn’t need to tell her about heartache and grief. She’d seen enough of both. “What’s the alternative?”

  Sam stared at her. “The alternative is enjoying each other’s company for as long as the attraction lasts. No long-term commitment necessary.”

  Turning to face him, Nicky whispered, “And how has that worked for you so far? You’re thirty-four-years-old, live alone, and haven’t had a girlfriend that’s lasted more than a few weeks for years.”

  Nicky bit her lip. She’d said too much. Hoarding every stray piece of gossip from her sister had kept Sam tucked tightly in the corner of her heart. Two years of occasional dreaming and occasional stupidity was ending in a conversation heading nowhere.

  “My point precisely. I’ve gotten off lightly.”

  “Life isn’t about getting off lightly. Loving someone throws you in the deep end of every emotion you’ll ever experience.” A wistful note crept into her voice. “Loving someone is about letting go of everything you’
ve tried your entire life to hide, knowing that you’ll be loved no matter what happens.”

  Sam stood silently beside her. “It doesn’t exist.” Raking his hands through his hair he turned from the window. “What you’re talking about belongs in fairy tales, not real life.”

  She stared at his hunched shoulders. “I want the fairy tale, Sam.”

  “You can’t always have what you want.”

  She didn’t know what to say. She’d once believed he felt more for her than what he’d told her. And look where she’d ended up. In Denver, crying over a man who didn’t believe in happily-ever-after and grieving for their dead baby.

  Nicky knew darn well she wasn’t the only one wanting more from whatever was happening between them. “What’s wrong with wanting a relationship that lasts longer than the food in your pantry?”

  “Nothing. As long as it doesn’t involve a ring. Everything’s got a best before date, including relationships.”

  Nicky stared at him. She couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid to fall in love with someone that had a block of ice for a heart. Opening her office door, she tried to hold back the tears threatening to spill down her face. “I guess we’ve just passed our best before date then,” she whispered. Heading down the corridor, a weight heavier than she thought she could carry settled on her shoulders. Regret and grief mingled with bitter disappointment. With her head held high, she walked toward the elevator, determined to ignore Amanda’s worried gaze.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  Nicky couldn’t speak, couldn’t even acknowledge Amanda’s concern. Her only goal was getting out of the building. Out of Sam’s life. She’d been on the losing end of his commitment phobia before and never thought she’d return. Hadn’t she learned anything? Was her life so desperately out of control that she’d settle for second best, someone who recklessly tore her heart into pieces every time she came near him?

  “Nicky, wait!”

  Jabbing at the down button, she prayed the elevator would arrive before Sam did. The doors slid open and she disappeared inside the cold safety of the stainless steel box.

  The doors closed as Sam ran toward her. “Open the doors, Nicky. I’m sorry.”

  Holding the ground floor button under her finger, she refused to look at the biggest mistake of her life. Sorry didn’t go anywhere near to bridging the grief ripping through her body. Reaching up, she wiped the tears from her face.

  The elevator doors opened and she took a deep breath, glad that nobody else was around to see her fall apart. She headed toward the ladies restroom, desperate for something to wipe her face with. Sam Delaney would not get the better of her this time around. She was a successful, independent woman. She didn’t need the baggage he brought with him, dragging her down every time their paths crossed. It was over.

  Pushing the restroom door open, she walked across the floor, pulling a fistful of tissues off the wall. Nicky glanced at herself in a mirror and wished she hadn’t bothered. Her face looked like it had been through a howling storm. After blowing her nose, she cleaned her face, whispering words of encouragement to the bedraggled woman staring back at her.

  ***

  Sam’s heart pounded against his chest. He tore down the emergency stairs, desperate to catch Nicky before she left the building. Before she left his life for good. Throwing open the ground floor door, his gaze shot around the entrance.

  She wasn’t there.

  He moved toward the main doors, hoping he’d catch a glimpse of her on the street. A door banged behind him. Ignoring it, he threw open the glass doors and ran outside, franticly searching the faces of the people around him.

  She’d gone, disappearing into the crowd of tourists and office workers catching a late lunch or a glimpse of the hot afternoon sun. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he called her number.

  She wasn’t answering her phone. He ended the call before her message clicked in, not knowing what he’d say to the clam voice telling him she was unavailable.

  She’d always been unavailable, always just out of reach. He didn’t want the type of commitment she craved. Did that make him a bad person or just want something different? Whatever it made him, a two second message wasn’t going to fix the friendship he’d managed to destroy.

  Jamming his hands in his pockets, he walked back inside the building. Another door banged. His head shot up at the sound of high-heels clicking against the floor. Two seconds later he came face to face with the woman’s whose heart he’d just broken.

  Her shocked blue eyes stared straight at him; an open, bottomless pit of misery that twisted something deep in his gut. She blinked, hiding her thoughts behind a thin veneer of anger. In other circumstances he would have been impressed with her self control. Today, right at this minute, it made him realize she wouldn’t be interested in listening to anything he had to say, even if he knew what that was.

  “Nicky…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  She searched his face. “I need a few minutes alone. I’ll be back soon.”

  Stepping around him, she headed out the glass doors toward God knew where and didn’t look back.

  ***

  Nicky sat on the grass in Bogart Park. She’d thrown her jacket and shoes off, hiking her skirt half way up her legs to soak in the sun’s heat.

  Leaning her arms on her knees, she watched two children build a castle in the sandpit. They built high turrets decorated with leaves and tunneled through the sand, creating a wide moat. Another little girl stumbled back to them carrying a bucket. Water sloshed over the top, dripping down her clothes and over the ground.

  With a squeal of delight she tipped the water into the moat. The sand dissolved, taking most of the castle with it. Instead of being upset, the children laughed at the destruction. Busy hands rushed to rebuild the castle and within seconds it was ready to fight another bucket of water. Nicky smiled as one of the little boys built a second wall around the castle to protect it. More buckets arrived and no matter how hard the kids tried, the water pounded the castle to mush.

  The smile slipped from her face. Maybe that’s what Sam was doing; rebuilding his defense system quicker than she could break through. And maybe she’d never be able to conquer the man behind the walls.

  “Nicky? What are you doing here?”

  Raising her hand to shield her eyes from the sun, Nicky stared at Emily. A bright red floppy sunhat perched on top of her head, shading her shoulders and most of her chest from the afternoon sun. Her sandals dangled from her hands.

  Nicky’s day had just gone from bad to worse. “I thought I’d take a break.”

  Emily reached out, brushing a hand over her sister’s hot cheek. “Are you okay?”

  Nicky shifted her gaze back to the children. Another bucket of water washed a wall of their castle away. “Would you believe me if I said yes?”

  “Only if I couldn’t see your red eyes and blotchy face. What happened?” Emily sat down, dropping her sandals on the grass.

  Nicky’s bottom lip quivered. “I’ve done it again.”

  “What?”

  “Expected more from Sam than what he’s prepared to give.”

  Emily reached across and gave her a hug. “Bastard.”

  “Precisely.” She choked back a sound that landed halfway between a sob and a laugh. Her heart felt like it had splintered in two, leaving raw, jagged edges rubbing against her chest. They sat in silence, shoulders touching, watching the children in the playground.

  With a sigh, Emily stood up. “Come on.”

  She pulled Nicky to her feet and walked toward the sandpit where the children had been playing. Crouching on her knees, Emily dug a deep hole, molding and shaping the sand into the goofiest looking castle Nicky had ever seen.

  “So what are you going to do about Sam?” Wet sand slapped against the sides of Emily’s creation.

  Tilting her head to the side, Nicky frowned at the masterpiece. “Emily?”

  “Hmm?”

&nbs
p; “That’s not a sandcastle.”

  “What do you mean?” she pouted. “It might not have molded walls, or fancy shells decorating the sides, but it’s kind of cute in a primitive way.”

  Nicky grabbed her elbow, moving her around the mound of sand. She looked for the group of children. They were running toward the swings with their parents in hot pursuit. “Definitely primitive. You’ll be arrested for indecent exposure if anyone sees what you’ve done.”

  Emily’s gaze connected with the sculpture. “Oh...” Diving into the sand she added another tower to the lopsided trio already standing to attention. “Now we’ve moved back into art and not therapy,” she grinned. “Apart from pulling our conversation way off track, you still haven’t told me what you’re going to do about Sam.”

  “I’m not going to do anything.”

  Emily clicked her tongue. “Kneel down and start building.” She pointed to her sandcastle and added another tower. “It seems to me that Sam has developed a bad habit of eating dessert before his greens.”

  “I’m not dessert,” Nicky muttered.

  Emily stuck her hands on her hips, glaring at her older sister. “Of course you’re not dessert, you’re a vegetable.” She rolled her eyeballs at the look on Nicky’s face. “Go with me on this one. I’m thinking creatively.”

  Creativity was a dangerous thing in her sister’s hands. The only thing Nicky felt was confused. “I’m not a vegetable either.”

  Emily gritted her teeth. “What did mom always tell us?”

  “What has Maureen got to do with this weird conversation?”

  Emily ignored her question. “You have to eat all of your greens before you can have dessert. Sam’s skipping all the good wholesome stuff and keeps heading straight to the sugar loaded sweeties.”

  “Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?” Nicky asked.

  “I’m trying to make you understand that he needs a balanced diet,” Emily growled. “Respect, honesty, commitment; those are the things that fill you up and last longer. That’s the low GI part of any relationship. The rush you get from sex spikes your sugar levels off the roof, but it doesn’t last over the long haul. Too much dessert and you start feeling sick.”