Pantheocide

by Stuart Slade

  Maion beamed and ran out of the door, eager to show off her new wings and status. Michael smiled fondly at her, then turned his attention back to Lemuel. “Feel different yet?”

  “I don’t know … . I … .” Lemuel hesitated again. Now, he really was bewildered. “Why.”

  “Why did I raise you up? Because I promised to, because you deserve it and because if we are going to end up having a fight, I wanted to give you a fair chance.” Michael didn’t even wince at the barefaced lie. He never had any intentions of fighting fairly.

  “Fairly? You? You shit-steamed pile of vomit. How could you do it to me Michael? Get me hooked on drugs, make me betray everything I held holy. You were my friend.”

  “I still am, the fact you are still alive proves that. It would have been much easier for me to have you killed. You and your little playmate.”

  “Maion too. You hooked her on drugs, made her prostitute herself. She almost died because of you.”

  “Nobody forced Maion to start using. She did that all by herself. Like most of the Angelic Host, she was bored and looking for new experiences to liven up her life. She was Malakhim, what did she have to look forward to? Her rank meant that, at best, she would be mate to a lowly angel and spend eternity washing his dishes. At worst she would end up in a temple making the same reverential dance every day. For all eternity Lemuel. Like those poor bastards in Yahweh’s choir. What has happened to them by the way?”

  “Humans took them away. They were talking about something called PTSD.”

  “Well, there you are then. Maion just wanted some thrills before the humdrum eternity set in. She got herself hooked. If you want to blame anybody, blame Yahweh. He was the one who set the system up here. Her getting hooked was a convenience for me. One of the purposes of the Club was to find you a mate who would be more to you than just a mate. You deserved better than that ball-busting bitch Onniel and Maion filled the bill perfectly. Working the club taught her a few tricks to hook you, that was all. There’s never been prostitution in The Eternal City so the idea has no stigma attached to it. With Yahweh gone and his maniacal obsessions about sex removed, I think this will be a much healthier city to live in but that’s my opinion only of course. It was Belial, working under Yahweh’s orders who crippled and nearly killed her. You can’t blame me for that.” Invisible, Michael tensed. Believe that and we’re half way out of this.

  Lemuel sat still, churning the information over in his mind. “Onniel is dead.”

  “Very.” And if I want it, there’s a pile of evidence pointing straight at you as her killer my old friend. “She was the one responsible for the fate that befell Maion. Yahweh smiled upon her so when she went to him, demanding revenge, he obliged.” Michael sighed theatrically. “I suppose in a way, I am to blame for what happened to Maion. I should have anticipated Onniel’s actions. I knew of her character and the fact that Yahweh liked her. I should have anticipated her actions. For that lapse, I can only apologize and try to make amends. But never in my wildest dreams did I anticipate the nightmare that Yahweh had created.”

  The combination of sudden, unexpected promotion and Michael’s calm, matter-of-fact discussion of Maion’s fate took the wind out of Lemuel’s sails. He had been working up a fine head of steam over what had happened to his beloved Maion; now it seemed as if all the major points had been out of Michael’s control. Selfishness also tore at him; if Maion hadn’t been experimenting with drugs and got out of her depth, he would never have met her or become her patron. She would never have become his mate. He would have been stuck with Onniel and her carping, shrewish ways. The truth was that his home was happy now, so much so it underlined how miserable a place it had been before Maion had become its Lady. His staff liked her and they had spoken well of them both when the humans had come to ask questions. The story of how Lemuel himself had come to the defense of a maltreated human and thrown his own mate out of the house when she was revealed as the culprit had struck a note in his favor.

  Confusion eddied and boiled in his mind. He had been so certain in his rage and offense, in his belief that Michael had been behind all his troubles. Forced to look on things from a different perspective, reality seemed a far thing from the simplistic picture he had once had. Michael had exploited Maion, that was certain but had he, Lemuel, done any less? He also had taken advantage of her addiction and bought her services. Was he not as much to blame as Michael?

  “You drugged me as well. You tricked me into addiction.” Lemuel was uneasily aware that the complaint had come out as petulant whine rather than a soul-searing indictment.

  “I did, and if you wish to confront me on that, I will concede it. You have every right to be upset. But, look at the situation Lemuel. Yahweh was going mad, you know that now but back then his madness was obvious to only a tiny few. How mad was something that even we did not guess. Yet you were the chief investigator of the League of Holy Court, the de-facto head of Yahweh’s secret police. You had to be separated from Yahweh, you had to see him for what he really was. Much of the blame here lies with you Lemuel, how often did you close your eyes to what the League was actually doing? As you had the victims of your investigations tortured into confessions that might, or might not, be true, did you ever doubt what you were doing?”

  Lemuel flushed red and looked at the floor. “No.” His voice was small and weak.

  “There was that human you picked up. The one you identified as a heretic because she had a small bottle of human garlic seasoning in her possession. You had her tortured, Lemuel. She was three-quarters drowned, raped and murdered while your prisoner and yet your faith was still not shaken. You Lemuel, you were Yahweh’s right hand when that and much more happened. It was a small step, Lemuel from the dungeons of the League of Holy Court to Yahweh’s concentration camp. So small a step from vigorous enforcement of the law to oppression and mass murder. A step so tiny and easy to make that its implications frighten even the humans.

  “You are my friend, Lemuel, we had to save you yet you were so firmly under Yahweh’s spell that regular argument would have been futile. So we hooked you. We got you just addicted enough that being with us was pleasant while being away from us was the reverse. Then, we slowly showed you that heresy had its values, that a degree of dissent was essential for a culture to move onwards. That the people who held different ideas from you were not necessarily bad persons because of their beliefs. Nor were people whose beliefs were conventional necessarily good or of pure heart. We showed you that people had to be judged for who they were, not for what they believed.”

  “So you did it all for my own good?” Lemuel spoke with tones laden with disbelief.

  “Of course not.” Michael was derisive. “We did it so I would not have to kill my friend. We would have done, Lemuel, we would have had to. But, above that, we needed you as a messenger to the humans. We had to send them the keys to Heaven by a messenger they would believe. Anybody else, one of us, they would have treated our information as a trap. At most they would have used the information to come in their own way at their own time. But when the head of Yahweh’s police came over, having given up power and prestige to save his brutally-injured mate, they believed him. Your participation was needed Lemuel, so that also fitted into the schemes.” Michael held his breath, almost noticeably. Will Lemuel notice the great flaw that lay in the center of that carefully-spun account? I’ve massaged the truth so carefully that I really ought to buy a human newspaper. He held that thought in his mind, buying a human newspaper and running it had an almost hypnotic attraction. It could be almost as much fun as running his nightclub.

  “But all the plots, the schemes… . “

  “Some were other archangels who had seen Yahweh’s mind going and were moving to take over. Others, most of them, were Yahweh himself. He set them up so he would have an excuse to bring down his tyranny on The Eternal City. Either way led to disaster. Only one led to the salvation of the Angelic Host and that meant engineering an end to the war that le
ft humans in undisputed charge. And got there without them using their military power to overwhelm us. And yet those same schemes Lemuel were as dangerous to you as they were to us all. You stumbled upon them while investigating something quite routine.” Even if I did have to hold your hand and lead you to them. “What would you have done if you had found them at some other time. Gone to Yahweh?”

  “I suppose but … .”

  “And he would have killed you. On the spot. Luring you away from Yahweh was more than avoiding the necessity of me killing you or providing a messenger to the humans. We had to do it to save you from Yahweh. You were in deadly danger Lemuel, more so than you realize even now.”

  Lemuel stared out of the windows at the rolling hills and green forests of Heaven. He felt deflated, without purpose or aim. Once his life had been filled with his loyal service to Yahweh and that had gone. Then it had been filled with his hatred for what Michael had done to him and Maion and a burning desire for revenge. Now that, too, was gone. He had nothing left and that left him with an intense desire to weep.

  “I’ll say it again, Michael, you are a double-dyed bastard. I’ll accept that you were doing what you thought right and it all worked out the way you wanted. And that all Heaven benefitted from what you did. But I can’t forget Maion’s shattered wings or her selling herself in your club. You’ll have to live with that as well. Those memories and all the other things you did will torment you from now on. Every time you look in a mirror you’ll remember them. They’ll tear you apart and you’ll understand how I feel now.”

  Michael nodded solemnly. Lemuel, you poor innocent sap. You’ve been watching too many human television soap operas. I did what I had to do and that ends the matter for me. I’ve been running this scam for centuries and, believe me, anything regrets I had are long gone. And if I had any left, there’s a valley of black glass that will act as a reminder of what would have happened had Yahweh had his way.

  The door banged open and Maion bounced in. “Lemuel, I’ve got news. Doctor Gunn gave me an examination just to check on how I was recovering. He says I’m pregnant.”

  Michael snapped forward in his seat. “Say again?”

  “I’m pregnant. About four or five weeks he thinks.”

  Lemuel reached out and hugged her while Michael watched complacently. Well, that was unexpected, but at least it will give Lemuel something to do. At least until the humans give him the police force back. And they well, he’s a good cop. But, an angelic baby? That’s a once-in-a-millenium event. Then Michael thought carefully. What if angelic infertility was a by-product of Yahweh’s obsession with people’s private habits. What if now he was gone, there would be more angels born? Interesting.

  “Congratulations, both of you. Would you like to stay here and rest? You’re both welcome.”

  Michael saw them both shake their heads, realizing they both wanted to be certain what was in any food they ate. “Sorry Michael, we have to get back to The Eternal City. We’ll be back though.”

  After they’d left, Michael went for a walk through his grounds. He needed to relax, to run over the events in his mind. Almost without thinking, he made his way to the great greenhouses that housed his marijuana plant collection. Letting himself in, he took some of the prepared product and took a deep breath. It was a blend Elhmas had spoken highly of and Michael could see why. He felt his mind relax and drift away on a sweet and gently-scented cloud.

  “Well done Ehlmas. You surpassed yourself with this blend. You know, I really hated having to kill you but you and Yahweh were too powerful a combination for me to beat. You had to go just as Uriel and all the others did. It was the only way. But, I really am sorry.”

  For a moment, Michael thought the slow handclap coming from the plants was his imagination. He dragged his mind back to reality but the sound continued. Then, a familiar figure stepped out from the serried rows of greenery. “Hello, Michael. I see you took my recommendation.”

  For once in his life, Michael was almost speechless. “Elhmas, you’re dead.” Even as he said it, he realized how stupid it sounded and cursed the chemically-induced fog in his mind.

  “You wish. You know, Michael, you really ought not to get stoned with people you intend to kill. Especially if they have a higher tolerance of that stuff than you do. I knew what you were up to the moment your messenger suggested I move the Incomparable Legion Of Light as a single body. That’s a move nobody whose familiar with human war-making will make. I wasn’t expecting that nuke though, were you?”

  Michael shook his head. “Air strikes, a lot of them. Not the nuke. How did you survive it? The people we interviewed said you were directly under the blast.”

  Elhmas laughed, a little sadly. “I wasn’t. The commander of the Incomparable Legion was. I left Enatenael-Lan-Elhmas in charge while I performed a reconnaissance. By which I mean I was watching from a safe distance Luckily for me, it really was a safe distance. You know, right up to the flash-bang I didn’t know if you would really do it. I kept expecting you to suddenly open a way out. Then – flash-bang, all gone. So I made myself scarce and went into hiding. Oh, I knew what you were planning all right and had a shrewd idea how you would pull it off. So, when I felt my benighted and ineffable stupid father feeling out for my mind, I portalled away. To the Sahara Desert as it happened. When the humans went berserk after Heaven caved in, I came back. Now, it’s time to kill you I guess.”

  Michael tried to summon up power to provide even a minimal defensive screen but the residual effects of the marijuana in his mind snarled up his concentration. He cudgelled his brain with the effort but it was no use. He was as useless and defenseless as an Ishim.

  Elhmas looked at him sympathetically. “It’s not really fair is it? You’re stoned and I’m not. You’ve got no allies around and I don’t need them. It’s almost as unfair as sticking Enatenael under that nuke. You know the only reason why I’m not going to kill you Michael?”

  Michael-Lan shook his head, frantically thinking for a way out of this situation.

  Elhamas smiled gently. ” You see Michael, I recognized how dangerous humans were long before you did. So, I thought I would try and steer them into nice, peaceful ways. There was once this Jewish carpenter, Jeshua was his name. I possessed him and filled him up with nice-sounding ideas and had him go around preaching them. It worked quite well too, only the occupying powers got upset and they crucified him. I had to leave him there. I can still hear his screams while he was begging to know why I had abandoned him. Then some nut called Paul took everything I had had him teach, turned it on its head and inside out. What I had designed came out all wrong and caused even more trouble. A few hundred years later, I tried again and that was even worse. Centuries of slaughter and destruction and they weren’t over when this blew up. I had one last shot a few hundred years after that and it got even worse. Everything I has taught turned into an excuse for wars upon wars with more wars to argue the results of the first set.

  “My way failed, Michael. Humans really don’t respond well to being taught things. They’ll ask awkward questions and find their own way. Your idea is to keep us out of their way and not fool around with them. I will say this for you, it does seem to work. That’s all that is saving your life Michael. Your way seems to work and it might be our salvation. It’s just lucky for you that I have no desire to take revenge for my father. In fact, the old fool got what was coming to him. I was cheering you on then you know.

  “Anyway, just remember I’m still around and I can make life very awkward for you. So, don’t go mad with power the way my father did and you won’t be joining him.” Elhmas settled down on a chair and picked out a reasonable-looking joint. “Now, lets get stoned and talk about something pleasant. I hear female angels are starting to get pregnant. That’s going to mess your nightclub up isn’t it?”

  Chapter Eighty Four

  Human Expeditionary Army Forward Headquarters, The Eternal City, Heaven

  “There are three journalists and a gen
tleman from the Times seeking interviews with you Dave. General Michael Jackson sounded saddened and deeply sympathetic at the news. After what had happened to General McChrystal, the press were being kept at arm’s length.

  “They can keep seeking.” General Petraeus nodded, then hesitated. “Only four?”

  “There were five but one of the journalists stuck a microphone into Asanee’s face and asked some impolite questions. She told him he had big brass balls and then asked if he had planned on keeping them. He left very quickly. Michael-Lan is here as well.”

  “Good. Mike, Yamantau want to know if there is an equivalent of the Minos Gate here in Heaven and, if so, where it is. Also, do bodies still come through it. My guess is that the division of Second Life humans between Heaven and Hell is beginning to become a real issue. Who goes where? And who makes the decisions.”

  “I’ve got a feeling it won’t be us David.”

  “I know what you mean Mike, civilian control of the military and all that. Do you want to try that line on Asanee?”

  Jackson shuddered slightly at the thought. One of the subtler effects of the Human Expeditionary Army was that it had brought together armies that had never considered working with each other before. Many of those armies came from social backgrounds that were radically different from anything the others had contemplated. Concepts that some took for granted were unknown or even derided by others. Chief amongst these areas was the relationships between military and political authorities. Slowly, the various national contingents were beginning to have a genuine understanding of what made the others tick. Idly, Jackson remembered the fable about the Tower of Babel and how Yahweh had split humanity up by language to stop them building another such marvel. Was the H.E.A. now reversing that action as well?