Wanting Reed
Copyright © 2014 by Antoinette Candela
Cover by Wicked by Design
https://www.facebook.com/WickedByDesignRobinHarper
Edited by Paige Maroney
Interior Design by Angela McLaurin, Fictional Formats
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All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.
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Wanting Reed is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
This book is dedicated to my kids, Antonio and Gabriella.
I hope you always follow your dreams and never give up on the things that make you smile.
“No one can take the one that is destined for you”
Italian proverb
“Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to.”
It’s a picturesque Saturday morning in late August in Boston with a hint of autumn invading the air. I woke up this morning ready for anything and prepared to move forward. I have to. I’ve learned to just roll with the punches over the last few weeks. Pick up the pieces and try to put them back together the best I can. Life doesn’t stop for anyone, especially me.
My summer began with Cane and the possibility of living together and ended with the demise of our relationship because he cheated. Then I fell for Reed. He was a whirlwind that I got sucked into instantly, only to watch him vanish just as quickly as he appeared in my life. The lack of experience and baby steps I took for so many years did not help me at all. It just made me a magnet for more pain.
“Why are you coming here?” Tyler asks, running alongside me.
“Change of scenery. I mean, come on. Look around. It’s beautiful.” I wave my arm toward Jamaica Pond as the welcoming sun kisses my face.
“I totally agree with you, but I thought you said that hitting the pavement was bad for the knees. We can’t have you injuring those pretty legs of yours.” He looks over at me and smiles. “Then again, if anything happens to you, I’d be happy to carry you.”
“Lovely. You benefit from my pain. Priceless.” I laugh, sprinting past him down the path.
“Hey!” he yells after me. “You can’t blame a guy for trying.” He throws his hand over his heart and tries to catch up to me.
I didn’t want to run alone, and I couldn’t bring myself to run at the track either for a couple of reasons. Maybe it’s just the one reason that has dominated my thoughts for the last month. Reed. The track reminds me of him. Everything reminds me of him. Vanilla ice cream, the beach, Linden Park. It’s funny how a place or favorite food that never meant anything to me before now triggers memories and emotions that will be forever linked to him. No matter what, he’s connected to me in some way, which makes it more difficult to deal with and harder not to stay away from everything. I can try to avoid those things as much as possible, but it’s both mentally and physically impossible.
I don’t know what’s happened to him, and I don’t want to know anymore. He did exactly what he said he wouldn’t do to me. He said he wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t want to be led down another road, believing there’s a happily ever after with someone, but only to be dealt another dose of unbearable heartbreak. It’s too much for me to handle. Now, all that’s left when I think about him is a dull, stabbing pain, like being prodded with a stick over and over again. The words he said only make me feel worse about jumping into a relationship with him. Reed was the guy I knew I should have avoided, yet another hard lesson to learn, especially right after breaking up with Cane.
I still have his number and picture saved on my phone’s caller ID; it’s the only real tangible piece of him that I’ve been hesitant to delete. If I delete it, it’s like he never existed. Yet, I know he did, and that, along with the fact he hasn’t returned, hurt me the most. What would I do if he did return to Boston?
Reed never told me anything about his life in Texas. Tommy seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth, too, and hasn’t contacted me again after the phone call the night he asked if I had heard from Reed. I even went back to his apartment to talk to Luke. He hasn’t heard from him, or maybe he has and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. His Hummer is still parked in the driveway. Nothing has been moved; everything is just how he left it right before he boarded that plane to Texas a month ago.
I haven’t really paid much attention to anything while trying to mend my broken heart. I’ve been putting in extra hours at work and occupying every spare moment filling out applications for medical school. I’ve been going to plenty of Red Sox games with Tyler and his dad, which is fine by me, because I’m not sitting home alone at night. I’m hoping through this impending semester at school, I can expand my circle of friends. Now that I’m single, I plan to find balance in my life. School’s not going to be all about academics anymore.
Glancing over my shoulder, I laugh as a shirtless Tyler tries to keep up the pace with me. Even with those long legs, he never could, but he definitely looks good doing it. He’s tanned from the summer sun, showing off his chiseled abs and arms from all the training he’s doing for the upcoming baseball season at Boston College. Ever since he was chosen as the team captain, he has really hit the gym religiously and it shows. He’s taking this very seriously and so are the baseball scouts across the country, scouting him as one of the top shortstops in the nation.
Along with being best friends with Tyler, I have to endure the double takes from all the other females running the path around the pond. It’s not just here though; it’s pretty much everywhere we go. Even though he hates running, he insists on coming with me, telling me that he needs to work on his running to help him increase his speed on the bases. I don’t mind him so much on days like this when I wake up with a large hole in my chest, thinking about what happened with Reed. Those days happen
more than I care to count and having Tyler here helps me endure.
“Slow down, would ya?” he pants, finally keeping pace with me since I’ve slowed down to a trot. “Not sure why you haven’t run a marathon yet. You’d kick some serious ass out there.”
“That could be on the horizon, for sure,” I say, wiping sweat from my brow. “I need to take this running thing to the next level. Focus on it a little bit more. Now that I’m single, I can do that.” I smile, glancing over at Tyler.
“Maybe we can run it together.” He smirks as I pull up under a tree to take a break and check my pulse.
“Would you really want me to show you up like that? Crossing the finish line like five minutes ahead of you? That would destroy your ego.” I laugh.
“Nah, I don’t give a shit about my ego. I’d have the best view the whole way.” He smiles crookedly, eyeing me from head to toe. “So, I think it’s a win-win for me.”
“Shit, Tyler.” I push him lightheartedly against his chest. “Have I ever told you how completely charming you are?”
“Not lately.” He laughs as he firmly grabs my wrists and backs me against the tree. Sweat is glistening on his chest and arms, and his damp brown hair is stuck to the nape of his neck. Even after running four miles with me, I can see why all the females are gawking at him today.
“Hey, buster.” I grimace, trying to wiggle my way out of his grasp.
“No, not until you say the magic word,” he breathes into my ear and chuckles.
“Come on. Cut it out.” I laugh, leaning my head away from him as he faintly blows in my face. My heart jumps and my cheeks burn being so close to his half-naked body that is covered with a thin sheen of sweat.
The magic word came about after I lost an arm wrestling match against him when we were eleven years old. I’ve never been a sore loser. He won fair and square. I don’t know what I was thinking when I accepted his stipulations. If anytime Tyler placed me in a situation I couldn’t escape, I’d have to say it. It was more like a magic phrase and not really a magic word, but it still reminds me of how naïve I was as a little girl and always willing to put others before me.
“Say it, Elle. It’s okay. No one can hear you,” he mocks as I continue to struggle to free myself from his hold. “Just me. That’s all that matters.” I glance around to see if anyone notices how ridiculous we look. From a distance, we probably resemble some regular couple that is unable to keep their hands off each other in public. It appears nobody notices us except for the two women sitting on a park bench who haven’t stopped trying to make eye contact with Tyler.
“Well, if you don’t want to say it, you know your other option.” He smiles wickedly.
“You could have thought up one of those secret handshake things that are really popular, but you had to be mushy about everything when we were younger. Didn’t you?” I reply as I nervously push lose strands of hair away from my hot face.
“Ahh...yes, but just with my best friend,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Pick your poison, baby, or your pleasure.”
That’s it; I don’t battle anymore. He is much stronger than I am, and what little energy I have left after all our running will be wasted. Instead, I stand to face him. Smiling innocently, I let my arms go limp so that his grip softens just enough. He knows me better than to let down his guard completely. Say the word or kiss him? That was the debate occurring in my head. At eleven years old, I took the magic phrase over the kiss for fear of cooties. Now, I don’t want to say the phrase, and from where I’m standing, Tyler’s lips are looking okay.
Phrase. Kiss. Phrase. Kiss.
“Shit, Elle, you’re so indecisive. I thought the choice would be easier for you now that we’re older.” He laughs as he teasingly puckers his lips. “Do you want me to decide for you?” he asks as he inches closer, and his chestnut eyes focus on mine.
“No. No. Let me think.” I get frantically, fluttering butterflies in my stomach when I look up at him. I close my eyes and shake my head. “I can’t remember it now.” I giggle.
“Bullshit,” he says as his breath floats over my head. My head rests right under his chin, and his chest is mere inches from me. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like being this close to me all hot and sweaty.”
“Oh, lord.” I inhale, laugh and open my eyes to look up at him. Do it. It’s already happened three times, and nothing has changed between us. Still friends. Still Tyler. I can feel his hands softening around my wrists as he throws his head back and chuckles. He glances down at me as I smile. For a second, I see sweet, little Tyler that played Little League. The same Tyler that I used to cheer for with my pom-poms at every game. Right then and there, I make the decision to kiss him.
It was just a peck, but when we pull away, I watch as Tyler opens his eyes, smiles and lets me go. A look of accomplishment passes across his face.
“Goof, I don’t know how I put up with you.” I smile as I coolly shove him in the chest.
“You know why.” He laughs and throws his arm over my shoulder.
Every piece of me knows why.
“So, you really signed the lease?” Jace asks as I grab a couple of bottled waters from the fridge and hand one to Tyler.
“Yes, Jace,” I respond for the third time, sighing in frustration. I don’t know what his problem is. Maybe he thinks asking me over and over again will somehow change my answer. I can tell by the look on his face that he’s not entirely on board with me moving out, although I’m pretty sure about it. I’ve already signed on the dotted line. I know it will be tough financially, but the student loans will help a little bit once school starts in a few weeks, and Dad agreed to pay for the first month’s rent and security deposit.
“Why Sis?” He looks up, crinkling his forehead as he throws the mail onto the kitchen counter.
“It just feels right. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I need to be on my own, and I’m not far away. It’s just a mile. I’ll be closer to campus, too. You guys are gonna help me pack and move,” I say, looking between Jace and Tyler. “Well, move. The packing I can handle myself. I have some fragile possessions, and you guys are all thumbs,” I tease, even though there are butterflies as big as elephants in my stomach. The last time I talked about moving out was with Cane. I see him every once in a while since he comes over to pick up Jace to work out, and we still work together at the center. I realize with each passing day that I need to put space between the familiar and me to make a new path for myself. It hurts, but in the end, I will be better for it.
“What do I get for helping you move out? You have lots of crap to move,” Tyler says, raising his eyebrows.
“Have you seen the shitload of clothes in her closet? That alone can fill a damn U-Haul!” Jace laughs.
“Cut the crap.” I poke Jace in the chest. “How does apple pie sound?”
“Oh, shit. Don’t go there.” Tyler shakes his head and snorts. “Are you trying to kill me? I thought I meant more to you than to poison me like that.” He slaps his hand to his chest.
“Who said I was baking? Clear Flour Bread will do all the work for me. I’ll just buy the whipped cream and vanilla ice cream,” I say, turning away to open the cabinet. I’m unable to stop the memory of him from rushing to the forefront of my brain, and I suddenly forget what I was looking for. Vanilla ice cream. I knew it. Painful reminders of what we shared and the time we spent together flood my mind like water erupting through a faulty damn. You’ll get over it, I remind myself as I turn back to Jace and Tyler.
“Hey, are you all right?” Jace asks as he stops flipping through the huge pile of junk mail. “Looks like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
Tyler squints his eyes at me and runs his fingers through his hair. I shrug my shoulder, knowing there’s no need to explain since he knows me so well. I haven’t talked about what happened with Reed for a couple of weeks. He doesn’t push the issue with me because he knows how badly it hurts and for other obvious reasons.
“Okay, this right here,” I say, gesturing between my brother and me, “I will not miss for a second. I’m over this disturbing need to protect me like I’m some kind of helpless newborn.”
“Dude, your sister is losing it. I can’t imagine what’s going to happen to her once she moves into her own place.” Tyler glances from Jace to me, leaning back in his chair.
“I’m sure you two will be making plenty of unexpected visits just to annoy me as you go through major withdrawals.”
“You can just give us both a copy of your keys, or the potted plant idea works pretty well.” Tyler winks as he takes a gulp of water.
“That idea worked well here, but since I’m paying for my own place, I make the rules. No keys, no plants and no surprises.” I walk over and hug my brother around the waist.
“Let’s see how long it takes for those rules to be broken,” Jace counters as he squeezes me back.
“Can we talk about something else? Like, how about you,” I say, tilting my head in Tyler’s direction, “and your future in the Big Leagues?”
“Yeah,” Tyler replies, scratching his head. “I haven’t really been keeping up with that stuff for the past month or so. I’ve been preoccupied with other pressing matters.” Tyler locks eyes with me. I’m not going to lie; I did need my best friend.
“Dude, no worries. I’ve been doing it for you, and it’s looking pretty rosy from my end.” Jace glances over, smiling approvingly. “You’re at the top of the list in terms of shortstops. You’re a definite shoo-in to climb the farm system with any team in like no time. Shit, once you go pro, I can be your lawyer or agent and represent you so that you get every dollar you deserve, because your shit is like gold right now,” Jace finishes.
My brother is a consummate sports buff and was a multi-sport athlete in high school. He could probably play any college sport at Boston College, and it looks like he’s leaning toward football like Reed. Great. Just another reminder of him.
Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 Page 1
