Color of Forgiveness

by Madeleine Beckett

  “Fuck, I want you,” he says in a deep voice, grabbing the bottom of her shirt and quickly yanking it off. Her hands tremble as she rests them on his shoulders. He crushes her body to his, and the feel of his naked chest against hers sends tremors up her spine.

  Burying his face in her neck, he breathes heavily against her throat as he rubs his hardness against her. She jerks and gasps when it glides against her clit.

  “Dylan…” she moans her hands moving into his hair. He kisses and sucks a moist trail down her neck and chest as if he can’t get enough of her skin. She’s never felt more desired, never felt more wanted as his desperate hands run up and down her curves, exploring every inch. Never has she wanted a man as much as she wants him. Her hands move to the back of his neck. Gasping, her fingernails dig deep into his skin when he sucks hard on her nipple.

  “Jesus, your skin is so soft,” he mumbles against her breast. He groans her name over and over again as he sucks and bites and rubs his scruffy face between her breasts, causing her to writhe in his arms.

  When his mouth lets loose of her nipple, he reaches his hand up, snaking it behind her neck and bringing her lips down to his. He kisses her rough and hard, almost bruising. Pulling back just a few inches, he pants against her mouth. “I wanna touch you,” he breathes into her mouth. “Christ, I need you.”

  A loud, wanton moan escapes her lips while his hot, steamy lustful breath against her mouth leaves her lightheaded. She presses herself against him, grinding herself on his hardness, desperate for his touch.

  Closing her eyes, she breathes in his breaths, their lips barely touching as her hands tug into his hair. She gasps, her eyes flying open when she feels his fingers between her legs at the edge of her soaked panties. He bites on her bottom lip his fingers moving her panties aside, and begins rubbing lightly through the wetness that has gathered there.

  “Oh fuck,” he groans against her mouth. “You’re so wet.” His lips move to her neck, softly biting, his tongue licking her skin. “Do I make you that wet?”

  “Yes... only you.”

  “Fuck. You’re so fucking sexy.” His fingers rub against her clit with just the right amount of pressure. Her mouth drops open, her breathing loud and noisy through her mouth. One of his fingers lightly teases her opening before pressing it slowly inside of her. She can feel his hot, harsh breath against her shoulder as he thrusts upwards several times before adding another finger. Closing her eyes, she gasps at the sensations flooding her body. No one can touch her and make her body unravel like this man.

  Another loud moan falls from her lips as her head tips back. Dylan growls in response his lips hungrily attacking her exposed neck, his fingers continuing their upward thrusts between her legs. A tightness begins to form in her belly as she begins to move slightly up and down, meeting the thrusts of his fingers. She startles, her eyes opening when Dylan groans and pulls his fingers away from her. Frowning, she whimpers softly.

  “Goddamn it, Myra, I need to be inside of you… right fucking now,” he practically snarls. His hands grip the side of her panties, ripping them in half. She gasps her eyes widening as her mouth drops open. “I’ll buy you some new ones later,” he growls before he rips the other side and throws the scrap of shredded material behind her. His animalistic behavior makes her grow even more wet and needy. In an instant, he has her on her back and is between her legs yanking his boxers down and kicking them hurriedly off. “Fuck, yes,” he groans in relief against her neck when he buries himself inside of her.

  “Oh my god,” she mumbles as she wraps her legs around him. The acute ache she had for him disappears as soon as he fills her replaced with an intense, almost euphoric sensation. She feels so full, so complete. Like both of their bodies have somehow merged into one.

  His mouth finds hers again… a long, deep kiss, tongues tangling as Dylan begins thrusting. Pulling back, he pants heavily, his lips hovering over hers, just barely touching each of them inhaling each other’s breaths. Their bodies are so connected so intimately. A strangled moaning sound escapes Myra. His lips crash onto hers like he wants to somehow swallow the sound.

  “Fuck,” he says against her lips. “I’m gonna cum if we keep doing this. You feel too damn good.” Rolling onto his back, he keeps himself inside of her, positioning her in a sitting position. He stills, staring at her in a way that makes her skin heat, his eyes slowly roaming up and down her body. “You’re so fucking beautiful you take my goddamn breath away.”

  Her mouth drops open, his words stealing her breath away. She believes the words from his lips. She’s never felt so sexy, so beautiful, so loved.

  While she moves, sliding him in and out of her body, her fingers explore every inch of his chest. He watches with his mouth gaped open, his fingers caressing her collar bones, trailing along the outside swell of her breasts and just underneath, causing her nipples to harden and the skin on her breasts to pebble. Using one hand, he grasps her hip and begins thrusting upwards. His other hand slips down to rub against her.

  “Shit. I’m trying to hold off, but you’re too goddamn sexy. I’m gonna cum,” he rasps out. It’s all too much… his words, his hard thrusts, the rapid movement of his thumb against her.

  “Fuck,” he cries out, loud guttural grunts and groans erupting from him as he climaxes. Her body curls slightly as she explodes, convulsing and clamping down on him, pleasure radiating down to the tips of her toes.

  She collapses onto his sweaty chest, completely spent. His chest heaves with his heavy breaths as his heart beats rapidly against her cheek.

  After a few minutes, she lifts her head to look up at him, and he gives her a lazy half-grin. “I’ll be right back,” she whispers before she kisses him quickly on the lips. After using the bathroom, she grins before turning the light out. Dylan has the covers on her side of the bed turned back for her, his arm stretched out on her pillow. He cocks a sexy eyebrow at her as if daring her to say something. Flipping the switch off, she giggles and practically runs to the bed, melting into him as he wraps her up in his arms and pulls the covers over her. Closing her eyes, she sighs and tucks her hand under her cheek against his chest. His fingers slowly rub up and down her arm before he tucks her hair behind her ear. The backs of his fingers gently touch her cheek. “That was fucking incredible,” he says.

  “It was.”

  “I love having you in my arms like this, almost as much as the sex.”

  Myra giggles. “You are a cuddler.”

  “That I am.”

  “I love you, Myra,” he whispers. “I love you so goddamn much.”

  Her heart soars. “I love you too,” she whispers back. “I love you so much.”

  She falls asleep wrapped securely in his arms, feeling love and contentment like she’s never known before.

  * * *

  Dylan can sense his mother’s eyes on him, watching him, studying his every fucking move; analyzing him like some kind of goddamn science experiment. She’s being a damn busybody again and he can’t stand that shit. He tries to ignore her and focus on Natalie and Myra’s conversation. “Yeah… I’m just praying that nobody makes me laugh,” Natalie tells Myra. “I have staples in my stomach. It hurts to breathe right now.”

  “I need to make her a ‘No Joke Zone’ sign and post it on the door,” Chad announces with a huge grin.

  Natalie rolls her eyes and Myra giggles. “Oops, sorry,” she says. Dylan smiles down at her. He has one arm wrapped around her and his other hand is between both of Myra’s hands, resting on his thigh. He looks up and makes eye contact with his mom again and almost groans when he sees her eyes brimming with tears and looking positively fucking giddy.

  He knows he was asking for it by touching Myra like this in front of his family, but he can’t keep his goddamn hands off of her. He loves his mom to death, but for some reason, her reaction is getting on his last damn nerve… or it could be because he hasn’t had any nicotine in a very fucking long time.

  He leans down, putting his
mouth next to Myra’s ear. “I gotta smoke,” he whispers.

  “Okay,” she says, looking up at him.

  “Will you be okay here?”

  “Sure.”

  He decides he might as well knock his mom’s fucking socks off. He leans down and kisses Myra lightly on the lips. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbles.

  Dylan stands and looks at Chad. “Wanna come?”

  “Sure thing… I’ll be right back, Oh Bearer of my Children,” Chad says with a bow to Natalie. “But I’ll just blow you a kiss, my love. I won’t suck face with you like my ‘lil bro here just did with his baby girl. Don’t wanna have you bust a staple or anything,” he says with a wink at his wife.

  “Fuck you,” Dylan mumbles in a low voice, hoping only Chad hears as he shoots him a murderous glare.

  “I heard that,” his mom calls out from behind him.

  “What the hell crawled up your ass?” Chad asks while they wait on an elevator. Dylan closes his eyes and rubs his temples. He has to get his hands on some more of those damn nicotine patches.

  “I haven’t had a fucking cigarette in like twenty-four hours or some shit,” he says through gritted teeth. “So let me be pissed, all right?”

  “Okay.” Chad holds up his hands, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Jesus. I would’ve thought you’d be as happy as a pup with two peters now that you worked out your shit with your baby girl.”

  Dylan’s lips press tightly together as they exit the elevator. “I am fucking happy,” he grunts. Chad busts out laughing.

  “Bro, you say some of the funniest shit.” Dylan bites the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

  As soon as they step outside, Dylan yanks out a pack of cigarettes. His fingers shake as he tries to get the first one out of the pack. The first drag is like fucking heaven.

  “Since the two of you were back there pawing at each other like a couple of mutts in heat, I’m assuming you finally decided to dig that stupid giant meathead of yours out of your scrawny ass. Good thing you did because I had some good plans for bringing you some pain.” Chad smiles from ear to ear as he pounds his fist into his palm. “So, what’s the story with you two?”

  Dylan takes another long drag and blows the smoke out slowly. Walking towards a bench, he sits down and Chad follows. He holds his cigarette between his index finger and thumb so that he can casually flip Chad off while still holding the cigarette as he continues to stare straight ahead. Chad guffaws loudly. He takes another long puff before staring down at it. “Well, it all started when Sabrina showed up in Nyssa and got shot…”

  “What the fuck?” Chad shouts, his eyes big as saucers, his mouth hanging wide open.

  With a sigh, Dylan leans back, his cigarette smoldering in the corner of his mouth and crosses his ankle over his knee.

  * * *

  “She’s so tiny,” Myra whispers peering into the incubator. Jillian doesn’t even look real to her. Her skin looks so soft and velvety with its downy hair on it.

  “I know,” Dylan whispers back.

  “Look at how little her fingers are and her little toes,” she says. She stares at the baby for a few more minutes before she looks up at him. “I’ve never seen a baby this small before.”

  “Me neither.”

  “She’s so beautiful.”

  Dylan nods. “She is.”

  They grow quiet. Each of them lost in their own thoughts. Myra watches the baby in fascination. The way her eyelids flick rapidly like she’s dreaming, the way her tiny fingers twitch, how her little legs occasionally jerk. Dylan squeezes her hand. “You ready?” he asks. “Wanna go back and see Nat?”

  “Yeah,” she says with a nod. She smiles, staring back down at the baby one more time.

  Walking out into the hallway, Myra frowns, trying really hard not to think about her own baby and all the things that could go wrong. But the thoughts rocket through her anyway. Dylan stops and looks down at her. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  She stares at his shirt. “Nothing…”

  “That’s bullshit. What’s wrong?”

  “I just…” She looks up at him. “Do you think our baby will be okay?”

  Dylan sighs and rubs a hand over his jaw. He studies her face for a moment. “There are no fucking guarantees, and we have no damn control over what’s going to happen. I can’t believe I’m going to say this shit, because I’ve certainly not been practicing it, but I am trying to learn from my mistakes.” She nods as she feels his arms wrapping around her. “I think we just have to believe that everything is going to be all right, and that if something does go wrong, we’ll deal with it, together. Because all we have right now is each other.”

  She nods, smiling.

  “I’m going to take very, very good care of you and this baby so no worries, okay?”

  “Okay,” she whispers. He smiles before leaning down and touching her lips with his very softly.

  * * *

  “Isn’t she beautiful?” Natalie asks Dylan.

  “Nah,” he says with a serious face before he smiles broadly. “She’s gorgeous.” Natalie smiles back at him even brighter.

  “Thanks. I’m just so glad she’s doing so well. It helps that she’s a girl. Did you know that premature girls do much better at thriving than boys do?” Natalie says.

  “It’s because guys hate premature ejaculation, I mean ejection,” Chad says in a loud voice with a big dumb grin on his face.

  “Chad! Shame on you,” Sherri says, scolding him like he’s a three-year-old.

  Dylan glances at Myra. Her cheeks are rosy and one hand covers her mouth, trying to hide her laughter. Sorry, he mouths, rolling his eyes. Her eyes crinkle up, and her shoulders shake as she giggles behind her hand.

  “Chad?” Natalie shouts, her eyes narrowing as she points to the door. “Out… now.”

  “Oh, come on,” Chad says, whining like a baby. “I was just stating a fact and that shit was funny.”

  “Now,” Natalie shouts louder, continuing to point towards the door.

  Chad grumbles with his head hanging low and leaves the room.

  “Myra, I apologize for my husband’s behavior,” Natalie says, clearly perturbed.

  Myra clears her throat and Dylan has to fight a grin as he watches her try to compose herself. “That’s okay,” Myra says in a shaky voice like she might giggle at any moment.

  “I have five children, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Natalie says in a heated voice.

  Sherri steps up and looks at Myra. “I apologize for Chad as well. I know I taught that boy better than that.”

  “It’s okay. Really,” Myra says.

  Sherri touches Dylan’s arm. “Dennis is watching the boys today and I’m getting ready to go home to cook dinner for them. Do you and Myra want to come over and eat with us?”

  He looks at Myra. “Dinner?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

  Myra eagerly nods. “Sounds wonderful...”

  Dylan looks back at his mom and nods. “We’re gonna go back to the hotel and change first and then we’ll be over.”

  * * *

  On the way back to the hotel, Myra scrolls through her text messages. She giggles when she reads Susie’s.

  Answer ur damn phone.RU sitting around pouting, moping & missing doucheyface? –S

  Where’s Porter? He better not be downing donuts. Has he caused a donut shortage in Nyssa? Do I need to ship some Krispy Kremes? Oh, that won’t work because they’d never make it to the FedEx truck ;) –S

  Serious here. How’s Natalie & the baby? Have u heard frm D? Where the fuckola ru, woman? Pick up! –S

  I’m coming to Nyssa. I want to be a detective. I watch CSI. I could wear a shirt that says Susie the Stalker Slayer –S

  I got Jeffypoo back for making me lose an eyebrow. Don’t u want 2 hear abt it? –S

  Where are you? *screams in agony & rips out hair from other eyebrow* -S

  Myra smiles as she types out a quick message to her.

  Can’t talk. No
need for you to be a detective. I shot the stalker, twice, with my gun. Told you I could take care of myself. W/Dylan in Boise. Oh, & he loves me & the baby! ILY ! Going to dinner w/his family–M

  Smiling, she silences her phone, knowing her message is going to drive Susie insane. She looks at it as a little sweet revenge for all of the naughty things Susie has done to her over the years. Dylan opens the door to the hotel room for her and she steps inside. She gasps when he pushes her up against the back of the door, and his mouth descends on hers, kissing her slow and deep. “We’re supposed to be getting ready for dinner,” she whispers against his mouth.

  “Mmhm,” he hums into the kiss. His lips move to her neck. “I’m gonna help you out of your clothes.”

  “Oh. Okay,” she says, giggling. Her breath hitches when she feels his warm fingers on her bare skin underneath her shirt. She sighs, smiling happily. There will be no arguing from her… she wants this just as much as he does so she decides to help him out of his clothes as well. She tries hard not to be embarrassed later when they show up to dinner thirty minutes late.

  CHAPTER 15

  CERULEAN, CONTENTMENT

  “Holy fucking fiery shit balls, Myra,” Susie mumbles breathlessly. “You actually pulled the trigger? You pulled the trigger and shot that loony psychotic nut case?”

  Myra hums in agreement. “I was scared to death, but I did it. I had to save myself and Porter.”

  Dylan lifts his head from her naked chest and stares deep into her eyes. She gives him a small, reassuring smile as her fingers play with the soft strands of hair on the nape of his neck. Reaching his hand up, he cups her cheek, rubbing his thumb gently across her skin. Closing her eyes, she leans into his warm, calloused touch.