Deceit of Angels

by Julia Bell

  She gave a sigh. “I’m afraid Dave was my first and last boyfriend. I got married because we were careless and I found I was pregnant. I was so naive.”

  Jason began to laugh and pulled Anna closer to him. “It looks like the sooner you can make a comparison, the better it will be for both of us. Perhaps we can plan something for tonight?”

  “No way! I’m going to sleep! These last forty-eight hours have been too much for me.”

  Jason feigned disappointment and then holding her tightly, he lightly brushed his lips against hers, before pressing down with passionate intensity, forcing her lips apart with his tongue. His hand crept up her body and slipped inside her jacket, resting gently on her breast. Anna felt herself sinking into that void of abandoned pleasure that Jason always seemed to arouse in her.

  When they finally parted from the kiss, she held her face against his shoulder and groaned.

  “Oh, God! You make me ache in places, I have no right to!”

  “We could always forget the golf and climb into the back seat,” he murmured into her hair.

  “Yes! Oh, yes,” she murmured in reply. Suddenly, she realised what she had said and opened her eyes in fright. Pushing him away she countermanded it sharply. “Not on your life! I did that when I was eighteen and it got me into a great deal of trouble. I’m old enough to know better now. Let’s go and play some golf!”

  Jason shook himself back to reality. “Yes, ma’am.”

  They finally arrived in the car park belonging to the golf club. It was an attractive, modern building, two storeys high with large windows and white painted walls. Jason signed her in as a guest and the receptionist gave her a bright smile and welcomed her.

  Anna had never had so much fun in years. She had always loved golf and was determined to give Jason a hard time. At the first tee, she hit the ball almost onto the green with her first shot, while Jason went into a bunker. From that moment on it became a battle of wills and skill and with her heart singing, she knew that he was forced to give everything he had just to keep pace with her.

  “The winner buys the drinks,” he said, as they reached the eighteenth hole.

  “You never said that when we started!” she remonstrated with him. “Hope you’re not going to be a sore loser.”

  “I haven’t lost yet,” he said, smiling. But he did lose and as they walked back to the clubhouse, Jason was obviously impressed. “Well, done. Perhaps you’ll tell me your handicap now?”

  Anna hesitated for a moment but finally said, “Five.”

  He let out a groan. “I should have guessed. Mine’s seven. I didn’t think for one minute that yours would be better. How arrogant of me.”

  “Never mind, I’ll let you win next time.”

  “You will not! We play fair or not at all!”

  The club seemed to be very full when they arrived back and it was difficult to find seats. Then Anna spotted an empty table in the corner and headed for it. Despite saying that the winner would buy the drinks, Jason didn’t hesitate in going straight to the bar. He brought back their drinks smiling brightly.

  “When shall we have a return match?” he asked, putting her drink down in front of her.

  “You’re a glutton for punishment.”

  “No, just keen not to be beaten.” They talked for the next thirty minutes and Anna told him about the golf club in Wakefield and the many tournaments that she had taken part in, including the medals and trophies that filled an entire cabinet at home. “It’s a good thing I didn’t know this before we started playing,” said Jason. “I might have suggested a game of scrabble instead.”

  Anna sighed. “Your birthplace is so lovely. But why is it called the Isle of Wedmore?”

  “A throwback from the Saxon times, I believe, when Wedmore was completely surrounded by wet marshland.”

  The club was beginning to empty and Anna glanced across the room. “Talking of marshland, Deborah whatshername is sitting not too far from us.”

  “I’ve never heard Deborah compared to a marshland before.”

  “Well, I get the feeling she can suck you down, if you let her.”

  “I forgot she was a member too. How awkward.”

  “I don’t think she’s seen us. She’s very engrossed in talking to an attractive young man.” Anna gave a grin. “For all her declarations of love, I believe she’s forgotten you already.”

  “That’s Deborah for you.”

  “What does she do for a living?”

  “She’s in marketing. Got a steady little business herself in Bristol with about six employees. Would you like another drink?”

  Anna nodded and he stood, collected up their empty glasses and carried them to the bar. When he returned his face was grey. He put their drinks on the table, almost spilling them with his shaking hands.

  “What’s the matter?” said Anna. She reached out and touched him gently.

  “That man Deborah is talking to, is called Peter.”

  “What! The Peter! Kiera’s fiancé…?”

  “Yes. I wonder how she knows him.”

  “Well, it looks like Peter’s heart has mended quickly.”

  Jason bit his lip as he suddenly remembered. “Oh, of course, you won’t know. Kiera told me that Peter had left her as soon as she discovered she was ill. He went back to his wife.”

  “How cruel! I wondered why I never saw him at the hospital. And he didn’t seem to be at the funeral. I didn’t like to ask you about him.” She peered over Jason’s shoulder. “They’re in deep conversation.”

  “Probably planning some treacherous plot!”

  Anna couldn’t help smiling at his expression of contempt.

  It had been a wonderful afternoon, but it was time to go. Before leaving the clubhouse, Anna decided to visit the ladies. She entered a room she could have lived in. Comfortable and plush, it was designed so that any woman would feel perfectly comfortable as she went about her business. The room was empty and Anna selected a cubicle and closed the door. She had just thrown the small bolt, when someone else came in. This individual was obviously using the ladies to make a call on her mobile and Anna was surprised to hear Deborah’s husky voice.

  “Hi, Ellen, it’s me. Have you any more info?” Anna stood perfectly still not daring to move. She couldn’t bear the thought of coming face to face with Deborah. “Peter’s here with me now and you won’t believe it but so is Jason Harrington with his new amour, his secretary of all people.” Anna almost stopped breathing. “Yes, I quite agree. He’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel now.” Anna gritted her teeth and wondered if she should go and punch her lights out. “I’m very suspicious about her, though. She’s too good to be true. I’ve got a feeling that there’s more to that woman than she’s letting on. Some dark, terrible secret in Yorkshire, no doubt.” Deborah gave a mischievous laugh. “Must go. See you tomorrow.”

  After she had left, Anna came out of the cubicle and stood quietly for some moments. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw that her complexion was as ashen as Jason’s had been when he had discovered that Peter was talking to Deborah. She felt numb with shock. Deborah suspected something about her and her suspicions could only be proved correct. Telling Jason her secret was only the beginning, others would find out eventually and then what would people think of her? Feeling slightly sick, Anna left the ladies room and made her way to the foyer where Jason said he would wait for her.

  Anna sat at the dressing table assessing the situation. They had arrived back from their game of golf just fifteen minutes before and she had gone straight upstairs. Now she sat wondering what she should do. All through the journey home, Anna had tried to tell Jason what she had overheard in the ladies room. But somehow she couldn’t find the words.

  Suddenly she remembered that Margaret had organised coffee in the parlour. Within minutes she was downstairs sitting next to Jason who was wolfing down a large piece of apple pie.

  After they had had their coffee, Margaret excused herself a
nd disappeared, only to appear again with a pile of brightly coloured presents.

  “These are for you, Anna. And a very happy birthday.”

  “Oh, goodness!” Anna cried in delight. “I didn’t think you knew.”

  “A little bird told us,” said Mrs Wilby, beaming from ear to ear.

  “Yes and he’s sitting right next to you,” said Ben.

  “You rat!” said Jason. He turned to Anna. “I noticed the cards from your family before we left Bishop Sutton, even though you tried to hide them from me. I thought it only right that your birthday should be celebrated too.”

  Margaret gave a chuckle. “Well, it’s been a special day all round, I think.”

  “Hear, hear,” said everyone together.

  Anna opened her presents, touched that time and energy had gone into buying them and as she opened each parcel; perfume from Ben; a beautifully patterned woollen hat, scarf and gloves from Mrs Wilby and a promise of a year’s subscription for the golf club from Margaret, she let out a cry of delight.

  “What fantastic things! You’re all so kind and thoughtful.” She stood up, gathering her gifts to her. “I’ll take them upstairs. I want to take a bath before the party.”

  Jason stood also. “And I must check my emails before I get ready.”

  But once out in the hall, Jason pulled Anna towards him. “So, will you give me the first dance tonight?” he murmured softly.

  “I’m not sure. Perhaps I ought to check on the other talent first.”

  “If that’s the case, then I don’t stand a chance the way you are.”

  Anna thought for a moment. “What do you mean, the way I am?”

  Jason gave a chuckle. “Have you any idea how seductive you are?”

  “Me? You’re joking.”

  He looked at her seriously. “I’m not joking, Anna. Haven’t you noticed how men watch you as you walk by?”

  Anna couldn’t help seeing the funny side of this. “Oh yes, they’re probably thinking the same things my husband thought.”

  “And what was that?”

  “That I’d be OK in the dark. At least, he never said anything to the contrary, so that’s what I always imagined.”

  “Do you mean he never told you how beautiful you are?”

  “He never once said that. Am I beautiful?”

  “You’re a very beautiful woman. And I’m so proud that you’re mine.”

  Anna touched his cheek gently and smiled. “Well, you did say that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Perhaps my husband never saw me that way. And I must admit, I never felt beautiful.”

  “I didn’t realise your self esteem was so low!” He held her close and brushed his face against her hair, before they continued upstairs and Jason followed her into her room so that they could continue the conversation. “And yet why am I surprised that you have such a low opinion of yourself? I remember how I felt when Kiera told me she was leaving me for Peter. I felt humiliated and rejected, even though our relationship was over.”

  Anna nodded. “It’s even worse when a person is betrayed over and over again. I began to feel used. In fact, Dave made me feel foolish.” She dropped the presents on the bed. “We’d been together six months and I lost my virginity and became a mother in one fell swoop.” She paused before continuing, “I don’t think we were really suited to each other. In fact, I doubt we would have married if I hadn’t been pregnant in the first place. Perhaps I shouldn’t have married him, but my mum would have felt ashamed if I’d been an unmarried mother. It wasn’t so common as it is today.”

  “You didn’t think of having your pregnancy terminated?”

  “It never entered my head. It wasn’t the baby’s fault.” She smiled wistfully. “We didn’t find out we were having twins until three weeks before the birth. Chris was hiding and then one day, the midwife heard two heartbeats.”

  Jason smiled with her. “It’s sounds wonderful but a lot of hard work.”

  “I hope they’re OK. They’ll be flying back from Ibiza today and once again, I won’t be home to meet them, just like I wasn’t there when they came back from Romania.”

  “You didn’t abandon them, Anna. You had to get away from an impossible situation. No one would blame you.”

  Tears appeared on her lower eyelids, trickling slowly down her cheeks. “I did abandon them, though,” she murmured guiltily. Jason made her sit on the edge of the bed. She leaned against his shoulder, drawing on his strength, her thoughts on her family. She gave a sad smile. “They were so good about it all, when I met up with them in Bristol. Despite being so young, they seemed to understand. I was surprised at that.”

  “Why? You’ve brought them up very well. You’ve encouraged them to be independent and taught them to be considerate and always do their best.”

  “That’s why I encouraged them to go to Romania on that life experience expedition. I thought time working on a farm and in an orphanage would be character building. But they are so different in character. Chris has astounding mathematical ability. He loves anything to do with aircraft. In his room he must have fifty models of different makes. He knows everything about them. When they were built, where they were built, when they first flew, what battles if any, they flew in. He knows every air combat in history, from the Red Baron right up to the Falklands. He’s already a member of a gliding club in Rufford and after university he wants to join the RAF as a pilot.” She suddenly choked on her tears and hid her face, trying to fight back the devastating emotions that made her gasp with pain. “I wanted to see him through it all. And Martyn too. He loves to wheel and deal and used to talk his brother into investing his pocket money in all sorts of business ventures, from car washing to gardening.”

  Jason pulled her closer. “Oh, Anna, you’ll see both your boys again very soon. I’m sure they’ll want to visit before they go to university.”

  Anna dried her eyes and looked at him. She frowned slightly. “How can things be so wonderful and yet so terrible at the same time?”

  His expression softened as he caressed her cheek gently with his finger.

  “Because you’re going through a big change in your life.” He took in a breath. “Anna, I’m asking you formally to marry me. I want you to be my wife.”

  “But I’m already married.”

  “In name only.”

  “I suppose I should divorce Dave.”

  Sighing heavily, he spoke in a soft hushed voice. “That’s for you to decide, but it’ll be difficult for you to become my wife if you don’t.”

  “It seems such a final step to take, especially after nineteen years.”

  “Yes, it is, but you’ve already made the first step. You’ve been brave enough to walk away from an impossible marriage and that’s a start. From what I can see your marriage was over long ago.”

  “But he hasn’t mentioned divorce.”

  “Then perhaps it ought to be mentioned and pretty quickly too!”

  She eased herself away from him. “For a short time, I saw you going through hell. It scares me to think that I might have to go through the same thing.”

  “Whatever happens, I’ll be with you all the way. You supported me and now it’s my turn to support you.” Seeing she wasn’t convinced, he pressed home his argument. “All I’m saying is that I want to give you my love and my name and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If it’s going to be a fight between your husband and me, well, I’m ready and willing. Although, he’d better watch out because I usually get what I want!”

  He gave a whoop of joy and pulled her up onto her feet. He gathered her up in his arms so tightly, she was almost swung off the ground.

  Despite his exuberance, Anna began to feel uncomfortable. “You make it all sound so easy.”

  Jason became still for a moment and studied her expression. “But it is easy. You just find a solicitor and set the wheels in motion.”

  “It doesn’t seem right to say that half your life didn’t mean anything. If something is a proble
m, then just dispense with it.”

  “Are you saying you want to go back to your husband? Are you saying you want to try and patch things up with him, forgive him once more for his behaviour?”

  Anna turned away from him, her thoughts confused. “No, not that. It’s just that you’re talking like a businessman.”

  “What on earth do you mean!”

  “You said it yourself. Find a solicitor and set the wheels in motion. Deal’s done! Sorted! But it’s my life we’re talking about. I have a lot that needs to be considered. I must talk it over with the boys.”

  Jason realised he had put pressure on her, when he had been determined to give her space and time. “Yes, of course you must. I’m sorry. I’m too eager for you to make up your mind where you want to be and who you want to be with.”

  Tears were starting to well up as she struggled to understand her own feelings. She shrank away from him.

  “I feel confused. Leave me alone, please.”

  He held out his arms in a vain attempt to comfort and reassure her, angry with himself for causing an awkward situation. “Anna, I only meant to...”

  Her eyes flashed with an annoyance he had never seen in her. It made him catch his breath in dismay. “Jason, I need to think!”

  He stood for a while studying her, the pain on her face sending rivers of alarm coursing through him and the knowledge he had exacerbated the problem by trying to persuade her to divorce her husband. She needed more time, he thought ruefully, he had rushed her into things she wasn’t ready for. And then nodding his head in defeat, he left her.

  Anna watched him go with longing, tears gushing down her face in an endless stream of despair. She couldn’t understand why she had spoken to Jason in that way. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted. It was as though she was angry and afraid all at the same time and yet there was nothing to be angry about. On the contrary, he had given her nothing but happiness, since the first day she had met him and she blessed the day he had entered her life. The same sentiments applied to her sudden irrational fear. Jason was right; divorce was the next step, however painful.