Deceit of Angels

by Julia Bell

  It was the last day of their holiday and Jason had insisted that they play another game of golf before their departure back to Bishop Sutton. He needed to discover just once and for all if he could match Anna’s skill, although he had a suspicion that he couldn’t. Anna ran upstairs after breakfast to collect her jacket as the weather had changed yet again. There was no rain, but the wind had started up and the trees were already swaying with its force.

  Margaret knocked on the door. “Could I have a word with you, Anna dear.” She stepped into the room and Anna smiled. Margaret seemed contrite. “I know I’ve already apologised to you…” Anna started to say that another apology wasn’t necessary, but Margaret held up her hand to silence her. “No, let me finish. I know you’ve just started divorce proceedings, but when it’s all over, I want to give you a fantastic wedding here at the Grange? Did Jason tell you I’ve got a licence to hold weddings?”

  Anna felt stunned at the offer. “Oh Margaret, I’d love to get married here. As long as Jason thinks it’s OK.”

  “I’m sure he will. He and Kiera got married in a short ceremony in Vancouver. I thought that this time we could do it a little better. Have more of a celebration. As long as your mother doesn’t mind and besides we have plenty of bedrooms for your family and any guests you invite from Yorkshire.”

  “That sounds lovely.”

  “Oh good. Well, I’m glad that’s decided. I wanted to make amends for the way I treated you and if a lovely wedding eases the hurt I caused, then all is well.”

  Anna put her arms round her. “Please don’t upset yourself over it! It’s all forgotten now. I’m just so glad that I met Jason in the first place no matter how it came about.”

  Margaret returned her hug and smiled happily.

  Outside, Anna told Jason about her conversation with his mother and what she had suggested.

  At the conclusion he was beaming. “I think it’s a wonderful idea to get married at the Grange. I was going to put the idea forward myself,” he said.

  Anna sighed. “I have my divorce to get through first.”

  “It will pass. Still, I see no reason why we can’t make a few plans of our own while we’re waiting.”

  “We can’t set a wedding date.”

  “No, we can’t. But let’s make a promise. As soon as your decree nisi comes through we set a date?”

  “And that’s about six weeks before the absolute?”

  “Yes. We could be married two months after you’re divorced. How does that sound?”

  “Lovely!”

  “How would you like to go to Mauritius for our honeymoon?” He gave her a sidelong glance. “Or Blackpool if you wish? I’ve heard you northerners love Blackpool.” She gave him a withering look for his impudence. He quickly changed the subject. “Well, are you ready to be beaten into the ground?”

  “Fat chance!” she answered, opening the car door.

  He gave a smile. “No, I think today is my lucky day.”

  “It might be. But not for playing golf!”

  Jason was just about to climb into the driver’s seat when Margaret came rushing out.

  “Anna! Phone call for you,” she panted, her face red with the exertion.

  “It’ll be the boys,” said Anna. “I bet they’ve organised a date when they can come down. Won’t be long.” She closed the car door and hurried excitedly back into the house. Anna picked up the receiver lying on the small table. “Hi there.”

  There was a short pause before the reply came. “Anna, it’s me, Dave.”

  Her heart almost stopped beating with the shock. “Dave? How did you get this number?”

  “Your mother gave it to me.”

  She felt as though she had been thumped in the stomach. “Why did she do that?”

  “Because I asked for it.”

  Anna took in a breath. She needed to speak to him, but now wasn’t a good time. “In a way I’m glad you phoned. There’s lots for us to discuss, except that I’m just on my way out, so would you mind if…”

  He interrupted sharply. “Anna! I’m sorry you haven’t got time to talk to me. I realise you have a busy life now, but at least let us get a few things sorted out!”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Your mother said you wanted a divorce?”

  “Yes…Yes, I do. I need the name of your solicitor so that we can get started.”

  “Is that really necessary? Can’t we talk about it first?”

  “I don’t think there’s anything for us to talk about.”

  “You’ve made up your mind, then?”

  “Yes, I have.”

  There was silence at the other end and Anna wondered if he was still there. “The boys said you’re very happy in your new job.”

  “I am happy, Dave. And I want a divorce and then I intend to stay down here.”

  “Look, I know I’ve not treated you well in the past, but going away like you did made me do some soul searching.”

  “It’s a bit late after all these years.”

  “Yes, I realise that. Although I don’t know why you left in the first place. What reason did you have?”

  Anger welled up inside her. How dare he act all innocent. “I told you in my letter. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten that incident in the pub? That redheaded woman you seemed to be very friendly with.”

  His voice was husky. “Woman with red hair?”

  “Oh, for goodness sake! You were at the bar and you grabbed hold of her hand.”

  She heard him suck in a breath. “Are you talking about Pam?”

  “I didn’t know who she was.”

  “Bloody hell, Anna! She works in the office and that evening she was meeting a bloke on a blind date. She’d been going on about it all day, nervous as hell she was. I had no idea she was going to the same pub and I took her hand to give her some moral support. It meant nothing.”

  Doubts began to creep into Anna’s mind. “Is that the truth, Dave?”

  “Absolutely. I’ve been good as gold since before you did your college course.”

  Anna realised he was talking about the last time she had found him out when the boys were twelve. “I’m not sure I believe you.”

  There was silence again and Anna knew her husband was struggling with his feelings. Displaying his emotions was never his strong point.

  “If you’re really happy working down in Bristol, then there’s no reason why you should give up your job. I can easily find something in my line of work. In fact, I’ve been looking and I’ve already seen some good possibilities. I could sell this house and buy one down there. We could start again.”

  Anna felt stunned. “You’d come to live down here?”

  “Yes, if that’s what you wanted and it made you happy. The boys will be going soon so now is the ideal time.”

  “But I don’t understand.” She drew on her strength. “I heard that you phoned…my employer and gave him a hard time.”

  “I’m sorry for that. I bitterly regret it now. It’s just that I thought you’d left me for another man. But I now realise you went to Bristol to start a new job and that guy I talked to really was your boss, but I was too jealous and stupid to listen to him.” He gave a nervous laugh. “He must have thought me a rude bastard. I’m glad he didn’t sack you.”

  “He’s very understanding,” she whispered.

  “I know I’ve never shown you much affection, but I do love you and I don’t want to lose you. Please, Anna, I miss you and I need you. I know I can make you happy if you just give me another chance. Please don’t leave me.”

  The phone began to slip from her hand as the enormity of what he was saying and the fact she had misunderstood the situation that had driven her from him. The room spun round and she felt sick

  “I can’t talk now. I’ll ring later.” She didn’t wait for his answer but put the receiver down.

  She leaned on the wall trying to stem the tears that spilled onto her cheeks.

  Anna knew that she was too quiet as
they drove towards the golf club. Jason kept up a happy conversation for most of the journey, but eventually he fell quiet too.

  He parked the car, but as she turned to get out, he caught her arm. “Sweetheart, everything is going to be OK.”

  “Is it?” she said brightly, trying to force a smile.

  “Please don’t worry if the boys can’t come down for a visit. We can go up and see them.”

  Anna licked her lips nervously. “The boys can’t visit?”

  He smiled and nodded. “You were on the phone quite a while so I guessed that all the arrangements had fallen through. But it’s not a problem.”

  She didn’t answer.

  To begin with, Jason felt elated that he was actually equalling Anna in his score and then finally he past her. But by the time they had reached the tenth fairway he knew that she was completely off her stroke and he became worried.

  “You’re not playing at all well today,” he said kindly. “That phone call really upset you, didn’t it?”

  Tears stung her eyes and she brushed them away trying to focus on the ball. But it kept swimming in front of her as if she was looking through a huge raindrop. She gripped the iron tightly and tried to concentrate. Playing golf was the last thing she wanted to do, as tears finally trickled down her cheeks and she let out a harrowing sob.

  Jason hurriedly crossed the green, took the club from her and put his arms round her, alarmed at her sudden outburst of uncontrollable distress. He waved to the three men waiting their turn and pointed to the clubhouse. Gathering up the equipment, he guided Anna off the fairway and towards the building on the far side of the course.

  The bar was virtually empty and it was easy finding a table in the corner, where Jason made her sit down while he fetched them both a drink. As she sipped hers, he watched her. Her expression was one he recognised, the one she had had at Bishop Sutton, when she had been trying to keep her secret from him. He had forgotten that look, but the last week had changed them both completely and they had found the kind of happiness that seemed too good to be true. His heart began to beat rapidly. Had it been too good to be true? Had something happened to snatch it all away?

  “I think you’d better tell me what’s going on,” he said softly. “It wasn’t your sons on the phone, was it?”

  She shook her head. “No, it was…my husband.”

  Jason blew out a breath and leaned forward in his chair. He took her hand and noticed it was her left one wearing the engagement ring.

  “Now I understand. You asked him for a divorce and he got nasty about it. That was bound to happen. There’s going to be some animosity for a while. But you’re not alone, we can see this through together.”

  Anna took another sip of her drink. “He wasn’t nasty. Oh God, I wish he had been. If he had, then it would have made the situation easier.”

  Jason frowned. “Now I don’t understand.”

  She took a big breath before explaining. “He said things to me he’s never said in all the years I’ve known him. That he…loved me and that he didn’t want to lose me. He said…that he missed me and that he could…make me happy if I gave him another chance. He even talked of selling up and joining me in Bristol.”

  He absorbed this information before asking softly, “And what did you say to that?”

  “I didn’t know what to say.”

  He began to feel uncomfortable. “Did you tell him why you wanted a divorce?”

  “Yes…I think so,” she said. Her thoughts became confused.

  “What do you mean, you think so! Anna, does he know about us?”

  “I…I…don’t…”

  Jason broke away from her and sat back in his chair, staring at her, his eyes dark with concealed anger and disappointment. “He doesn’t know about us, does he?”

  She licked her lips nervously. “I hadn’t the courage to tell him. I should have, but what he said knocked the wind out of me.”

  Jason thought for a moment and then sighed. He sat forward again and put his hand on her knee. When he spoke his voice was reassuring but firm. “You really must face up to him. I imagine he’ll be upset when he discovers about us and he’ll probably feel jealousy and rage. God knows I felt the same way when Kiera left me for Peter. But you mustn’t let him make you feel guilty, because that’s what he’s trying to do. Sweetheart, you have to insist on a divorce and not give in to this emotional blackmail.”

  Anna put her hand over his and tears once again filled her eyes. “He’ll react badly when I tell him, I just know he will.”

  “Then I’ll tell him.”

  “No, you won’t!”

  He cocked his head to one side. “What am I going to do with you?” He looked down at her engagement ring. “So, now you have to make a decision. Do you listen to your husband and start afresh with him? Or do you carry on with the divorce and stay with me?”

  Anna’s thoughts troubled her. “If Dave doesn’t know about us then he must have been sincere on the phone. But he’s never spoken to me like that before. Not in all the years we were married, not once.”

  “Can a leopard change its spots?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “I’m…not sure.”

  “It doesn’t take a man nineteen years to tell a woman how much she means to him. And can you trust him? How do you know he’ll not cheat on you in the future?”

  Anna shook her head. “He said he hasn’t done that since the boys were twelve. In fact, he told me that the incident I saw in the pub when I thought…He said it didn’t happen.”

  “He would!”

  “No, I mean he admits the incident, but he said it wasn’t what I thought it was.”

  Jason sat back in his chair once more. The bar was starting to fill as players arrived for their pre lunch drinks.

  “I can’t comment on that. But I know that the brief conversation I had with him led me to believe he had little concern for you.”

  “He…apologises for that. He was angry…”

  “Apology accepted.”

  She gave a weak smile. “I felt so sorry for him and guilty that I’d abandoned him and the boys. I’ve always tried to do the right thing and…”

  “Anna, you can’t go back to him because you feel sorry and guilty. That would be crass stupidity.”

  “I realise that.”

  “All right, let’s assume he doesn’t know anything about us. Either he is genuine and realises that he’s lost something very precious, after all, sometimes a person doesn’t know what they’ve lost until they’ve lost it. Or it could be that he thinks of you as a possession and wants you back only for that reason.”

  “And if I go back to him?”

  He closed his eyes for a moment. “Then we’re back to the leopard changing its spots.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Do you love me?”

  “With all my heart.”

  “I’m glad about that, I was beginning to wonder.”

  Anna leaned forward and took his hand. “I do love you but I’ve been married to him for most of my life. He’s the father of my boys,” she said desperately.

  Jason glanced around the room. “So, you don’t know what to do?”

  “I just wish someone would tell me that I’m doing the right thing.”

  He stared at her intently. “I’ve just thought of something. We’ll toss a coin.” He reached into his pocket and took out some loose change.

  Anna felt horrified. “What do you mean toss a coin?”

  “Heads you stay with me and tails you go back to Wakefield and your husband.”

  She began to panic. “Jason, we can’t make a decision about my life on the toss of a coin!”

  “Why not? It seems a good a way as any.”

  “But we should discuss it.”

  “We’ve already done that!” He held the coin between his fingers for a moment and stared at her, his eyes cold and dark. She stared back numbly. Anna watched mesmerised as he skilfully tossed the coin in the ai
r and then catching it with one hand, slapped it down on the back of the other. “Are you ready? Shall I look?”

  “This isn’t right,” she whispered.

  He lifted his hand and peeped underneath. His expression became resigned as he blew out a long breath.

  “Well, it looks like you’ll be on that train as soon as we can arrange it.”

  Anna’s heart beat rapidly and she gasped. “It’s tails? Oh no, it can’t be. Fate couldn’t be so cruel.” She took a quick sip of her drink. Her voice was almost pleading. “Please Jason, don’t send me away. Please don’t send me back to that awful man. I’d rather die than do that.” He started laughing. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny tossing a coin to decide something!”

  “Sorry, sweetheart.” He squeezed her hand. “It was something my father taught me. When you can’t make a decision then toss a coin and let fate decide.”

  “It seems an odd way to go about things!”

  He grinned. “Ah, but it’s not the result that matters, but how you feel about the result.” Anna stared at him in bewilderment. “I told you the coin said you had to go back to your husband. It was obvious by your reaction that it was the last thing you should do. If anything, it told me and I hope you, exactly what you thought about that.”

  She took another sip of her drink. “Well, I guess it worked. It looks like the last thing I should do is go back to my husband.”

  He leaned towards her and caressed her face. “The trouble is, I cheated,” he whispered.

  “How did you cheat?”

  He opened his hand. “It actually came down on heads. So the decision should have been that you stay with me.”

  She snatched the coin from his hand. “But why didn’t you tell me that?”

  His expression became serious. “Because I didn’t want any doubts. I had to know for sure that you wanted to stay with me.”

  She looked at the coin in the palm of her hand.

  “You’re a tricky one. I can see I’m going to have to watch you!”

  The bar was now getting quite full.

  “Shall we go and have our lunch?” he said, smiling.

  “Yes, but can I keep this coin?”

  They stood up.

  “Why?” he asked, puzzled.

  “It’ll remind me of how stupid I am and how I nearly lost you.”