A Kingpin Love Affair (The Complete Series 1-5) Boxed Set

by J. L. Beck

  “I’m sure Zerro told you that I’m babysitting. I have Isabella here, and I need some time away if you know what I mean.” I paused mid-sentence, wondering how what I had said made me look into my sister’s eyes.

  “I took a job for the afternoon driving, and I need someone to be here with her. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I don’t want her here alone. Plus she could use some interaction with other women.” Nothing I had said was a lie. All the above was the honest truth.

  “Zerro told me all about it. What can we do? Do you want us to have girl time with her?” I could hear Gia giggling in the background. Her laughter always filled me with warmth and made me want things I knew I would never have. I was just a dreamer, incapable of making the things I wanted most in life happen.

  “Bring some clothes over. She looks to be your size. You can grab some pizza, maybe a couple of movies and make a day out of it. I don’t know. Whatever you girls do in your free time. She needs it. She’s been through a lot and living with me is hard enough. Do something to make her feel comfortable here.”

  Bree laughed softly as if something I had said was funny. “Whatever we girls do in our free time? Are you kidding me? I spend money in my free time.”

  “Perfect. I will leave some money here. Get her some clothes, some shoes, socks, anything she needs or wants.”

  “All right. We’ll be there in about an hour, maybe two. I have to call Tegan so she can get herself and Taylor ready.”

  “Okay. That’s fine.”

  “See you soon,” she says as she hangs up the phone. Nothing she said sounded as if she was mad or aggravated by the conversation, or the fact that I had failed to talk to her for months. Still, I felt more like a douche for having ignored her phone calls for weeks on end only to then end up calling her for a favor of my own. I was a complete contradiction.

  I paced the floor for a short time before heading toward Isabella’s room. After all I had just said to her, it didn’t make much sense to go and hunt her down... Before I could finish my thought, I was walking down the hall and into her bedroom. When I realized she wasn’t in sight, a switch seemed to flick on deep inside of me.

  Panic surged through me overriding any and all other emotions. Unsure of where she had gone, I walked throughout the room, glancing over her bed and inside the closet a number of times thinking maybe I had missed her somewhere. Just when I was sure I had lost my ever-loving mind, she crossed the threshold of the bedroom with nothing but a towel on. My lower extremities grew and grew, and fucking grew. My eyes glided over her smooth skin. Anxiety and alarm slipped to the back of my mind as relief and the need to wrap my arms around her consumed me.

  My eyes caught the sight of her legs. God, they seemed to go on for miles and miles. Water droplets clung to her skin and I wanted to lick them off. Hell, I wanted to be them. I was envious—so fucking envious. The need to caress her skin with my tongue, to see if she would scream my name as I had imagined she would be almost too much.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked, clenching her towel as she tried to hide as much of herself from my eyes as possible. The way she was looking at me only made me think dirtier thoughts. My eyes managed to find hers after what seemed like minutes. How could she still look at me as if she cared about my well-being after all I had done to her? The way I had talked, the harshness in which I spoke, the things that I had said...

  She should hate me. Not looking at me as if I had saved the day by speaking to her. I almost forgot what it was I had wanted to say, but then I managed to pull myself together.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m leaving. My sister and her friend are going to come over while I’m gone so you can have some girl time.” I spat the words at her while running like a bat out of hell from her bedroom. I had insulted her, ogled her, and tormented her all within the last hour.

  “Wait…” She said softly, her voice like a wisp of the wind in the leaves. I turned around even though I knew I shouldn’t have. My eyes caught her in a terrifying stare. In her eyes, I saw a fragile being, one that was incapable of being broken any more than she already was. The pieces of her heart lay shattered on the floor.

  “I’m sorry if I’m inconveniencing you.” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip nervously. I wanted her. I wanted her lip in between my teeth. I wanted to bite it, to suck on it. To lick it.

  “If I’m making living in your own home harder, I can leave…” At the mere words, I wanted to lash out, my cock coming to attention while anger washed over me. Leave? Was she secretly doing drugs that I wasn’t aware of? Had I come off as that big of an asshole this entire time?

  I picked my next set of words very carefully, not wanting to scare her away but not wanting to coddle her either. “See, that’s the thing about you.” I stepped into her space. “You’re not even aware of the danger that lies ahead of you. I don’t want you to leave.” My breath fell against her cheek. “What I want is to fuck you. To be a part of you in every way that I can, and I know that’s not what you need right now. So pardon me for protecting you.” A gasp escaped her plump lips. I felt my hands unclenching, the desire to grip her and pin her against the wall. To take her under with me, to show her the true meaning of my darkness.

  Her eyes grew large, and I couldn’t even tell what it was that lingered inside them. Fear. Excitement. I didn’t even know, and instead of trying to determine it what it was, I took a step back and then another until I was no longer in her vicinity, no longer in the house and no longer within distance of reaching out to her. I couldn’t be in the same room or area as she was right now. She made me think things that were irrational and straight up crazy.

  When I came home tonight, she would be asleep and my life would be easier for another eight hours. Air filtered into my lungs as I started my Tahoe and headed out of the driveway pulling onto the street. I would wait until Bree and Taylor got here before leaving.

  Chapter Nine

  Isabella

  His admission seemed to frighten me but only slightly as I had never been with a man before, and while that fear was self-explanatory, I still felt my body heating and a flush growing across my skin.

  I opened my mouth to try to respond to what he had said, but not only would the words not come out, but I also saw he had turned around and was heading toward the garage. I couldn’t leave things like this between us—but, then again, what would I have said anyway? Each time I tried to say something he would have a more powerful retort. As if he kept it on the tip of his tongue waiting for the perfect moment to let it out.

  I understood the lustful expressions he was giving me. The men in the trades had given me the same looks on numerous occasions. Things were different when Jared gazed at me, though. He watched me like a man thirsty for water, not like a piece of property or meat. He didn’t make me feel used or filthy. If anything, I felt wanted and needed, something inside of him calling to that black hole inside of me.

  I had never wanted a man, let alone wanted one to touch me, but with Jared, it was different. I felt a spark when he looked at me, my body awakening at just the mere thought of him. Even if he was broody most of the time, there still was something about him, something that lingered under the surface. Maybe it was a longing to be understood, to be accepted as is. In all truths, we both did, and I think it was the force underneath it all. It’s where we came together. It was more than being the missing piece to one another’s puzzles—it was about connecting.

  Clutching the towel to my body, I cleared my mind. Pushing the feelings of coldness and loneliness away. I slipped the towel from my body and dried off before using it to wrap my hair in a twist so it could dry.

  Stepping into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt given to me by the FBI caused a desire to form within me. Oh, how I longed for something that was my own. Something that said Isabella and was just mine. Growing up in Russia, and being considered a low-income family, I never had that. My clothes were my mother’s hand me downs being passed from generation to
generation. Sometimes, if Mother had a few extra coins after taking care of the important things we needed, then she would take me to a thrift store and let me get one or two pieces of clothing. But they were never mine, they were still someone else’s and eventually, they would become one of my siblings.

  “Isabella…” I heard my name being called and found myself scrambling from the bedroom. I wasn’t ready to meet anyone else. Friends weren’t a luxury I had in the trades. Getting close to the other girls was a grave mistake. For when the time came for them to be taken away, you were left feeling more alone than you had been before.

  “Here.” My voice was meek. I looked down at myself, running my palms over the material of my shirt before entering the living room knowing that I wasn’t really dressed for company.

  “Goodness.” A woman with dark hair gasped, her reaction making me even more uneasy.

  Standing beside her was a little girl who had wrapped her little arms around the woman’s leg as soon as they stopped. She smiled up at me with excitement in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but smile at her. She was so innocent and a part of me longed to be that young and carefree again.

  “Tegan, you need to get in here stat,” the woman yelled out the front door that had been left wide open. I wondered what was going on when the girl she had referred to as Tegan walked through the door with a baby stuck to her hip and carrying a bunch of bags, with logos I didn’t recognize on them, in her free hand. Her hair was bright red like fire and when she smiled, it reached her eyes, telling me that she was sincere, happy.

  “Isabella.” The dark haired woman finally greeted me. “This is Tegan, my best friend and our two daughters, Gia and Taylor. Oh, I’m Bree, Jared’s sister. He sent us over to hang out with you for a little bit while he does some work.” Her face was heartfelt, and as she looked at me, I could see she felt empathy for me but not pity. More so as if she was sorry I had been through what I had. I wanted to tell her she had no reason to feel that way but kept my lips sealed, knowing that maybe she had her own reasons for feeling the way she did.

  “It’s nice to meet you both,” I spoke softly, showing my manners as Bree bent down and whispered something in her daughter’s ear. I watched as Gia nodded her head and then sat on the carpet in the center of the living room while Bree handed her a cup. She took small sips as Bree turned around and grabbed the bags out of Tegan’s hand. I hadn’t asked for anything since I was delivered here, so I stayed rooted in the same spot, hesitant as to what they had brought with them.

  “Jared said you needed some clothes and girl stuff, so we brought you different things,” Bree stated as she talked with her hands, seeming far too happy to be helping me. Tegan closed the front door and then placed her daughter on the floor next to Bree’s daughter. My gaze drifted to the girls and then finally to the bags that were in Bree’s hand.

  “We got you some clothes, the common stuff like jeans and different style tops. I even snuck a couple of summer dresses and shorts in there for you,” she stated as she pulled items out of the bags, placing them on the couch before me. They were an array of vibrant colors, all the material appearing to be soft. Tears were forming behind my eyes as I stared at them in awe. They looked so beautiful that I wondered if I was even good enough to wear them.

  “Oh, and I got you some decent sandals plus some socks and undies.” Bree smiled at me as she continued on with her sentence. I returned the smile knowing I should be more than grateful for what they had done. It was apparent she hadn’t just done it for Jared but because she wanted to.

  “Thank you.” I choked out the words, emotions overwhelming me. They had no idea what they had done for me.

  “No, no. Thank you,” Bree said softly, and I almost didn’t catch it. I didn’t know what she was thanking me for, but whatever it was must have been important to her.

  “We also brought chocolate… because it’s every girl’s best friend. And we got you female stuff for when that time comes, so you don’t have to ask Jared to get those personal things.” Tegan reached forward, slowly grabbing my hand as she placed a bar wrapped in gold colored wrapping in my palm. Chocolate. I had heard the word many times, but only ever tasted the stuff once or twice when I was younger.

  “Let’s not forget the wine. We know you haven’t had the best time since being found, and we figured we could give you a couple of things that always make us feel better,” Tegan confessed causing a small giggle to leave my throat. The way these two cared for others was amazing. They didn’t even know me, had never even met me before this moment yet they were standing here showing me compassion. It was no wonder why Jared had asked them to come and care for me while he was gone.

  “Thank you so much for bringing me this stuff. I’m not used to having others to talk to, so please excuse my quietness. I’m truly thankful for you both.”

  They both turned to one another, giving each other a look, and then back to me, bright smiles marring their faces.

  “Truthfully, it’s an honor,” Bree said sincerely, crossing the room as she wrapped me in a warm embrace. I stood there very still for a moment and then lifted my own arms, unsure if I should hug her back or not. She pulled away before I could make the decision and guilt hit me. I should’ve hugged her back.

  “If you need anything, let me know…” she whispered, and then walked away leaving me with my own swarming thoughts. I watched them both as they made themselves at home. I didn’t know what to do, so I thanked them both again and took the bags they had brought me back to my bedroom. Once there, curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to take a peek inside one of the bags that Bree hadn’t opened in front of all of us. Pulling the bag open, I caught sight of a pair of red lace undies. My heartbeat spiked, and my mind went into overdrive trying to figure out why she would’ve gotten these.

  With nimble fingers, I plucked them from the bag. I stared at them for a moment before running my fingers over the intricate pattern of lace. I had never felt something so soft or seen something so intimately made. I drew a lazy circle across the pattern again, my mind beginning to wonder… What would Jared think of these?

  Stop, I told myself right away, not allowing the thought to process any further. Placing the undies back in the bag, I took a couple deep breaths and then decided it was best to head back into the living room.

  Once there I noticed the girls were now sitting on a blanket with toys surrounding them as they laughed and giggled with each other while Bree and Tegan had the bottle of wine open and two glasses had been filled with a gold bubbly liquid. I had never had wine before, and a part of me was nervous to indulge, even experience the effects that alcohol would have on me. I wanted to feel free, but how could I be when I knew there were others out there just like I had once been? I knew I had to learn to live with what happened, and if I stayed as I was, I would always be half the person I wanted to be. I didn’t want that, but I also couldn’t just wash the guilt away as if it wasn’t there.

  “Cheers.” Bree grinned, handing me a wine glass before reaching into her purse for a bottle of water. I looked at her, wondering why she wasn’t drinking with us. She must have caught the question written on my face because she answered without me even asking.

  “I’m pregnant… again, so no wine for me,” she stated with a smile on her face as Tegan and I toasted our glasses against her bottle of water.

  “Congratulations,” I responded, Bree’s thank you for coming shortly after. I watched them each take a sip of their drinks as I sat there, hesitating to do the same.

  “It’s okay to be happy, Izzy. You don’t mind if I call you Izzy, do you?” Tegan questioned. I stared at her shaking my head no. She was beautiful in every way possible. A sprinkle of freckles marked her cheeks, her lips a ruby red matching her hair.

  “Don’t feel ashamed to be living. I know what you went through is something none of us would ever be able to imagine, but we all have had our experiences, each one just slightly different from the next. You, me, even Bree,
so know that we are here for you and there is life after everything you went through.”

  Tegan’s words soothed me in ways she would never truly understand. I didn’t know their stories or how they came to be who they were, but the more I sat here and listened to them talk to one another, the more I wanted to.

  “Zerro, I mean, Agent King, the one who rescued you is my husband. That is our daughter, Gia.” She pointed to the dark beauty on the floor, and I smiled at the fact that I had assumed right. “That is Taylor, Tegan’s daughter. Teg here is married to Devon, someone my family will always be indebted to, as well. He’s also my husband’s partner and friend.” As Bree said her name, Taylor turned around staring at me. Her eyes were a bright blue, so blue I wondered how they could even be real. She had short red hair while Gia had dark brown eyes and curly locks that covered her head.

  “Your daughters are beautiful,” I mustered up the courage to say. Looking at them, I couldn’t help but feel pangs of guilt. Those other women they were daughters, cousins, maybe even mothers. Their lives had been ripped from them just as mine had been and here I was sitting on a couch enjoying the simple joys of life.

  “I know that look. Don’t let the guilt take you under, or you’ll never be able to break free of the pain that you’ve endured,” Bree whispered into my ear, her hand touching my own. Her touch was meant to calm me, to remind me I was here and no longer there—with them.

  “I’m okay…” I lied unsure of how to explain the guilt I was feeling. There was no real way to explain it, no words that could bring the image to life, at least not in a way that they would understand. Even though I was free, I knew someone else would take my place. Someone else would become a captive with no choice of who they gave their bodies to.

  “You don’t have to lie. Believe me, I know what not being okay looks like. I know what it feels like to hurt.” Bree’s voice was sincere as I forced a weak smile.