A Kingpin Love Affair (The Complete Series 1-5) Boxed Set

by J. L. Beck

  My eyes narrowed on him. I had been fooled once by a man that sold me a bride. She was beautiful, elegant, and everything I had ever wanted in a woman, but she was broken, fractured straight down the middle, and she was far from untouched. I wouldn’t go down this road again and try to make something out of nothing. My new bride—she would be everything I was promised or I would take her life.

  “She will be presented to you in excellent condition. No wrong doings will be done to her. However…” He paused for a moment as if he were re-evaluating his comment.

  “It will cost you extra as I know the men will be in desperate need to unleash a little tension…” I could feel my blood boiling, the desire to end this fucker’s life. I had already paid more than half of what was expected of a normal buyer for my down payment and the first transport, and now he wanted more?

  “Extra?” I cracked my knuckles watching his eyes grow large. Hadn’t he realized all that I was capable of doing?

  A nervous laugh left his lips. “Well, you know how they can sometimes be. The extra money would be used for—” I cut him off.

  “I don’t care what the extra money would be used for. That isn’t my concern. Your men and the fact they can’t keep their cocks out of the merchandise aren’t my problem. Now you, you’re—” My temper was on the verge of snapping.

  “I meant no harm, truthfully.” He stuttered over his words as if he finally understood what I had to say.

  “You didn’t… But I do,” I said sinisterly as I reached into the back of my pants, removing my gun. I lifted the barrel to his head and cocked it as my finger began to squeeze the trigger. There was no room for failure in this life. No room for telling someone what to do and allowing them to get away with not listening.

  Sometimes you had to take someone else’s life into your own hands.

  “Boss?” Antonio called my name as the last images of her I had seen disappeared from my mind.

  “What?” I responded in aggravation, coming back to the present with a vengeance. The memory had only made me that much more eager to get my hands on her, to feel her softness beneath my hands, to break her down and make her my little slave as I built her back up.

  “Adam has confirmation that she’s near French Island. He says his word is bond.” He spoke firmly, his voice less annoying to me now that he had information I could actually use.

  A smile formed on my face, this was the best news yet. “Good. For his sake, I hope he is right. Call Wyatt. Let him know I have a location for him to check out. Oh, and that I need his skills to assist in finding my merchandise.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jared

  Her body was silhouetted in the moonlight, her hair sprawled out beneath her as she withered beneath me. God, she was beautiful I thought as her mouth parted open and a throaty moan filled the air.

  “Jared, it’s only ever been you,” she whispered against my skin as if she were trying to tell me a secret.

  “Give it to me,” she begged as I held myself above her. I hadn’t even touched her yet and she was on the verge of begging me.

  “Are you sure?” I growled, barely able to get the question out. She nodded her head at me with so much desire in her eyes that I felt like we were already connected.

  “Make love to me,” she purred.

  “Jared.” Huh?

  “Jared. We fell asleep on the couch.” Isabella’s sleep filled voice met my ears, causing me to sit up startled. After spending the day at the shooting range and having lunch together, we came home to relax and watch some TV. Apparently, it meant taking a nap, too. Even worse than all of this was the things I had been dreaming about.

  “Jared,” Isabella said my name sternly. “Your phone’s ringing.” I turned my attention to her catching the look on her face. It all but said, is he right in the head? Hell, I didn’t even know if I was all here. Shaking my head as if to get the dream and the effect it had over my body out of my mind, I plucked my phone off the coffee table.

  I sighed and watched Isabella disappear to give me privacy. Motherfucking Alzerro King the caller ID read. Rolling my eyes, I hit the green answer key.

  “Sometimes I think you just like being a douche bag.” Those were the first words out of his mouth. Not a hello, how are you this fine evening—just straight to the point bullshit.

  “Did you just call to insult me or what?” I asked annoyed, voice groggy with sleep. Had I known it was anything less than an emergency, I wouldn’t have answered. He had a life, a good one at that, he needed to worry less about me and focus more on his family.

  “Not really. I actually called you because I have some intel and I needed to let you know. I also just felt like calling you. You know, making up for lost time.” I could hear the humor in his voice.

  “Cut the bullshit, Alzerro. You know how I get about jokes and shit like that. I don’t have the time for this.” Of course, I was getting frustrated right off the bat. Between my day dreaming about Isabella and the fact I hadn’t fucked anyone in over a week, I was close to losing my shit on whoever might piss me off even the slightest bit.

  “They know she’s here. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when they’re going to make an attack. Hell, at this moment, I’m not sure if they know your exact location or just the places you frequent but you need to be ready.” He went from funny and joking to serious and business-like so fast, I had gotten whiplash from the change in his attitude.

  That was the thing about Agent King per se—you never knew if he was going to break your neck or cause you to bust your gut in laughter.

  “She’s being cared for… and protected in the best way possible. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen. ” I kept my voice low, not wanting Isabella to overhear me. She was just in the other room after all.

  “Good. These men don’t mess around Jared. They’ll kill you both before they let you leave with her. They’re as bad as I was in my prime days.” I snorted, covering my laughter.

  “Yeah, before you started driving a minivan and toting Gia back and forth to ballerina class?” Radio silence formed on the other side of the line, which just caused another snort of laughter to escape.

  “Asshole. That’s what you are. You don’t want anyone to joke with you, but yet you turn around and do it to someone else. You’re lucky.”

  “Why is that?” I tested him, trying to get a rise out of him.

  “Because if you weren’t my childhood friend and brother-in-law, I would’ve already had the barrel of my gun pressed against your skull.” Gun. That one word brought me back to the current situation, to the immediate danger that we were in. What he said caused something inside of me to wake up. It caused a reminder to go off inside my head. I was supposed to be protecting Isabella. They generally knew where she was, and if they knew that much, it wouldn’t take long for them to find out who she was with, pinpointing our exact location.

  “Thanks for the heads up. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. Anything I feel you need to know, I’ll call you.” I hung up the phone, a sudden anger filling me.

  Isabella was fragile, like glass. Her past was about to collide with my present, and I wondered if either of us would be able to walk away from this unscathed.

  “Who was that?” she asked coming back into the living room. As she watched me curiously, I wondered if she could see through my ulterior motives. I tried to smile, to act unfazed, but I couldn’t. For a brief moment, I thought about lying to her but changed my mind knowing that she had the right to know what was taking place… After all, this was her life.

  “Agent King. He wanted to check in on you.” Fuck. I was lying. Yet, there was no way for me to go about telling her that her life could be in danger. That today could be the final nail in her coffin.

  She smiled softly. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. His wife, your sister, is nice, too, and Gia.” Her smile seemed to grow bigger. “She is so adorable. How blessed you are to have such a lovely family.”

  There it was. The kick to t
he gut. The one that ruined it all for me and reminded me exactly why I shouldn’t have the feelings I was having. She wouldn’t understand what I was going through, not even if I told her or tried to explain it.

  I allowed the air to grow thick with tension, not saying anything because honestly, what was I to say. Creases formed across her brow as she began to chew on her bottom lip. She was worried, concerned even.

  “I didn’t mean it in an offensive way…” Her voice trailed off. I was past listening. I had allowed her to get under my skin. I had allowed her touch, smell, and even her taste to invade my mind, taking over the parts of my body that made all the logical choices.

  When I was around her, I wasn’t myself. Or maybe the problem was I was myself and I just didn’t want to face it. The reasoning didn’t matter. All that did was making it stop.

  “Aren’t you going to say something? Anything?” she stuttered, my mind having to catch up with her words as I drifted off into my own thoughts.

  “What’s there to say?” My words came out stiff and defensive. It wasn’t her fault I was this way. I was caught at a crossroads. Either one that would kill me to cross or one that would become my saving grace.

  I wanted to blame her, but something held me back and kept me from saying those small little words that would push her away because, in reality, I wanted her as close as I could get her—even if it meant her body under mine and her breaths meeting my own.

  “You could tell me that you’re okay. That whatever Alzerro called you for wasn’t bad. That when you kissed me earlier it actually meant something to you.” Her hands were on her hips. Her nose was scrunched up in a way that said she was about to lose her shit on me. A smile pulled at my lips. She looked so adorable when she was angry. Then it hit me. What she had said, the kiss...

  “The kiss?” I questioned acting as if I didn’t even remember it taking place. Which was the biggest lie on the face of the planet. Out of the two times our lips had met, I remembered both as vividly as if I had just removed my lips from hers. Shake it off. She’s getting to you. The warning was clear, but for some reason, I refused to say something that would break her heart.

  “Yeah, the one where your lips met mine. The one where you made me feel this strange feeling in my belly.” She looked at me as if she had accidently slipped the last part out without thinking.

  Fuck. Feelings were becoming involved. “Isabella…” I paused attempting to go about this as easily as possible.

  “Don’t you dare say it was nothing to you! I felt it. It felt like for the first time in your life you were alive.” She had an eagerness to prove me wrong in her eyes and that just stoked the already burning fire inside of me.

  “It was nothing though. At least for me.” I stood, getting up from the couch to stand in front of her. I wanted to prove to her that whatever she thought was happening between us wasn’t.

  “You’re a woman, I am a man. Naturally, we’re attracted to one another. That’s all this is. There are no hidden feelings underneath it all. If you’re trying to fix me, or come up with a solution, you should give up now. There is a long line of women who have been trying to do that for months now, some even years.” God, I was an asshole.

  “You’re a liar…” She barely got out. I could see the hurt in her eyes, the hardness growing around her heart. Is that what I looked like when they told me my mother had died? I shook my head pushing the thoughts away.

  “No, I’m not. You just don’t know the difference between a man who wants to get his dick wet and a man who wants to give you his heart. You’re naïve, sweet Isabella, and I was just making your life easier for you.”

  Tears leaked from the sides of her eyes, penetrating my soul.

  “You know what, Jared? You have the potential to love someone far greater than anyone does. It’s just that you’re so afraid of letting someone in. So afraid of feeling anything different from what you currently feel.” Her words were laced with pain as they struck me hard upon the chest.

  “You know nothing but heartache, sadness, and pain. But you know what the ugly thing about it all is? You think you deserve it.”

  I clenched my fists, she had no fucking clue how close to home she was hitting. My chest ached as pain seared through it. Her words were like a fucking belt lashing against my heart. She was so right, and I was so not ready to admit it.

  “I deserve whatever shit God decides to give me. You know nothing about me, only the things I have allowed you to see, and even then, you only know and feel what I want you to know or feel. So don’t act like you fucking know me, because you don’t and you never will,” I gritted through my clenched teeth.

  “Don’t push me away…” She sounded defeated, and I was so angry and hurt that I couldn’t even look at her.

  “In order to push you away, you would’ve had to be close to me to begin with. I’m just doing you a favor.” The truth was I was pushing her away, doing what I had wanted to all along. But this time, my heart was breaking right along with hers. The hate falling from my lips burned me more than it did her. She was worthy of more, better… She needed someone to care for her and this exchange of words proved just how wrong I was for being that person to do it.

  I could feel her eyes on me for a few more seconds before her footfalls met my ears. She was walking away, leaving. As she should.

  She didn’t deserve this.

  Only I did.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Isabella

  My teeth sank hard into my bottom lip as I attempted to force the tears away. These feelings swimming around inside of me reminded me too much of the past. The past I wish didn’t exist.

  I never wanted to be one of those girls. The ones who did whatever they could to keep someone happy and to make them stay with them like I had just recently seen on TV or witnessed in the trades as the other girls desperately tried to please the men. The ones who went out of their way to be something they were not simply just to survive. I knew what it was like to survive, but I never tried to be something I wasn’t while doing so. With Jared, I refused to be that as well.

  I heard the slamming of the front door and the roar of the motorcycle as it was brought to life. The noise reminded me of the time we spent on it together just today. I had felt as if we were growing closer to one another, learning who the person hiding in the dark inside of us truly was. But now I see we really weren’t.

  “You’re so dumb, Isabella…” I muttered into the air, frustrated I had allowed him pass my walls. He knew what I had been through yet he acted as he did? I tried to tell myself it had everything to do with being scared and afraid of the unknown, but in reality, I wasn’t sure what it was.

  Once again, I was stuck sitting here alone and in my thoughts because he walked away from me. Minutes ticked by, my stomach growling as a faint reminder of the fact that I hadn’t even eaten dinner yet.

  “If I told you that leaving was his fight or flight mechanism, would you believe me?” Bree’s soft voice met my ears as I swung around toward the door of my bedroom. I must’ve been so wrapped up in what I was feeling, what Jared had caused me to feel that I failed to hear her come in.

  “I would because he seems to fight against everything good in his life,” I said truthfully. Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she smiled at me in understanding. We were both on the same page when it came to Jared.

  “His past is lined with jagged rocks. He hasn’t moved on from it and that’s what is holding him back from finding the happiness he desperately is seeking.” Bree walked into the room and took a seat on the edge of the bed. She eyed me cautiously as if she understood the hesitation that ate away at me.

  “We all have a past that we never want to resurface. Mine is far worse than his I’m sure, but here I am going through the motions attempting to move on from it,” I bit out. I was so angry he had allowed the past to douse the future in insecurities and pain. He was right about one thing—I did want to save him, but I also wanted more than that. I wante
d to save us.

  Bree’s hand landed against my knee startling me. When I looked up into her dark eyes, I saw familiarity. It was the situation in general, the pain I had once endured. Maybe not in the same way, but she had endured something.

  “Jared’s past is a hard one. Many years ago he lost the only female he ever had in his life.” She paused. “His mom was special to him. She died unexpectedly and it crushed him. Crushed our father, too. A lot of pain and time passed, and they found out I was the daughter our father had been looking for since he found out I existed. Through me, our dad found the little piece of happiness he had lost. I think there are times Jared harbors hard feelings toward me for giving our father something he couldn’t. He looks around and sees everyone so happy while he still hasn’t found his.”

  I understood what she was saying. It was like an itch that you got from poison ivy. If you scratched it over and over again, your skin would become irritated, and eventually, the itch would spread all over your body, causing irritation on every piece of your skin. Jared chose to wallow in his misery, to accept his pain as a burden until it tainted him completely from the inside out, spreading agony throughout him.

  “He should be grateful for the family he has,” I blurted out without thinking.

  “He should be, but we all deal with pain in different ways. The easiest way to let something like that go is to push those who care about you away. It’s easier to not feel when the pain is the worst because not feeling means it’s not real. If you have no emotions toward it, you learn to numb it out.”

  One single tear fell from my eye. It was for Jared, for the pain and hurting he was going through. He felt alone in his own world, and I knew what that felt like more than most.

  “Don’t cry for him. Don’t let your tears be the symbol of forgiveness, sometimes people need to be pushed to their limits before they can learn to move on from the past. Every once in a while you have to push them off the emotional cliff so they can feel.”

  Her words echoed in my head, giving me the comfort I needed at that moment. Jared could say whatever he wanted to push me away, but at the end of the day, I knew what I felt inside of me for him. I knew, when he kissed me, he was just as lost in me as I was in him. I wasn’t going to give in just yet. He was good at blocking people from getting too close, he even did it with his own family. Yet they didn’t give up. If my feelings for him were as true as the words I spoke to him, then I couldn’t either. I would push his boundaries and make him feel he couldn’t walk away.