Reluctant Hearts: A Clean Regency Romance (Faithful love Book 1)

by Skye Kelrose

  She gently brushed his hair from his face. “I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t want to,

  Sterling. I think it’s because he doesn’t know how. Losing someone you love is… very hard.”

  “I know. I don’t care if he ever tells me.” The child curled his fists into his blankets and pulled them up under his chin. “I just want him to be happy again. Because… because I’ve never seen it.”

  Honestly, Paige didn’t think she could love the child any more than she already did, but

  somehow, now she did. Just seeing the pure and honest concern for his father over his own wishes melted her heart.

  “You are an amazing little boy, you know that?”

  His smiled bashfully and rolled his eyes around a little bit. “I know.”

  Laughing softly, she leaned forward and planted a kiss on his head. “Good night, Sweetheart.”

  “Good night, Miss Paige,” He said around a yawn. A few minutes later, he was fast asleep.

  Paige carefully stood from her chair and left the room, being sure to close the door quietly behind her. But, as she turned around, she almost ran headlong into someone who was standing directly behind her. She jumped back startled the same time a hand clamped over her mouth to keep her from crying out.

  “It’s just me,” Adrian said quietly.

  Her eyes widened and she let out a small squeak before he released her. “What… how…

  when… What are you doing out here!?” She whispered sharply.

  His eyebrows raised and the smallest hint of amusement flashed across his face as he pointed towards the door. “This is my son’s bedroom.”

  She cringed and captured her bottom lip in between her teeth. “How long were you there?” She asked after a moment.

  “Long enough.” He nodded down the hall. “Will you walk with me?”

  She just nodded and followed his lead as he headed for a nearby set of doors that led out onto a large balcony that overlooked the gardens. The moon cast a silvery glow over everything, and with the cool breeze and the fireflies flitting through the trees, it almost looked magical.

  He leaned against the railing and stared into the area below. He waited til Paige was at his side before he spoke, pointing to a certain place where a white bench sat amid several rose bushes. “That is the last place my wife stood here. Sterling was just a few months old and… Everything seemed perfect at the time.” She turned to look at him as he shook his head. “It’s so easy to take things for granted when you don’t realize how easily it’s taken away.”

  “What happened?” She asked slowly.

  He closed his eyes and shook his head again. “A storm. I don’t even know what she was doing on the deck but…” He raked a hand through his hair. “I heard Sterling talking to you. I just need to explain that… it’s not that I don’t want to talk about his mother. It’s that I… can’t.”

  “Can’t?”

  “I… don’t remember anything about her,” He confessed quietly. “I remember how I felt when she was around. I remember that she was sweet and honest and… amazing. But… I don’t remember anything else. Her hair color, her eye color… or even her name.”

  “Doesn’t anyone else know?”

  “Mrs. Applegate probably does but…” He released a long, slow breath of air. “I don’t want to go through that pain again. I can’t risk accidentally blocking my son out. He’s the only thing I have left in this world.”

  A long, almost suffocating silence lapsed between them before Paige slowly asked, “Why are

  you telling me all this?”

  He shrugged. “I… honestly don’t know.” A small smile came to his face them. “It’s just that Sterling has taken to you like I’ve never seen him take to anyone before. You’re the first person that he’s ever mentioned the subject of his mother to and…I just wanted you to know why I don’t tell him about her. It just because I don’t remember.”

  She reached a hand out and rested it on his arm. “But you remember what’s important. Her spirit and the way she made you feel. The way she cared about you and your son. What she looks like doesn’t matter. All Sterling needs to know is that she loved him.”

  Adrian stared down at her, unable to pull his eyes away from hers. “But what if he wants to know?”

  “Then just tell him the truth.” She was vaguely aware that he was fully facing her now as she continued. “Sterling understands so much more than I thought possible for a child of his age.” A soft smile crossed her face. “He doesn’t care what she looked like either. He just wants you to be happy again. And sometimes, talking about it can bring the healing you need.”

  He didn’t respond. At the moment, he couldn’t. Even in the dark of the night, her eyes shone blue. It was as if they just absorbed the rays of moonlight then pierced the very being of his soul. He slowly reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear before allowing his hand to rest on the side of her face. Time and space seemed to drift away as he took a step closer to her, and she felt powerless to move. She wasn’t sure how, but she felt her heart stop yet quicken at the same time as he filled her vision. Then, they were just inches apart, but before the last inch could be closed, Sterling’s voice broke through the stillness.

  “Papa!” He cried, his voice ringing out from his bedroom.

  Adrian stared at her for a moment, the rapid beating of his heart rang in his ears. “Paige-”

  “Papa! I had a nightmare!”

  He stepped back from her, his gaze flicking to the ground. “I… I have to go.” And just that quick, he turned and hurried towards his son’s bedroom.

  Paige backed up against the cold stone wall of the castle, her heart was hammering in her chest, making breathing a challenge. What just happened?

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Adrian leaned back in the chair, Sterling snuggled up against him sound asleep. He didn’t know how to explain what had happened on the balcony just a few moments earlier. Nor how to explain the feelings that had started to stir up inside of him… again.

  He rested his chin on top of his son’s head and closed his eyes. It had been so long since he’d felt this way. Since his heart had skipped a beat just at the sight of someone… and it unnerved him. He didn’t know what it was about Paige that had seemed to instantly break through the wall. All it had taken was one look into her bright blue eyes, eyes that were so much like Sterling’s, and something inside him melted like ice in a heatwave. Why am I feeling this now? And why her?

  Chapter 4

  Mrs. Applegate noticed the change in the atmosphere instantly. She took note of how, in the following weeks, that Paige instantly turned her gaze to the ground whenever the young Duke entered the room, and her face would redden. And how Adrian watched her closely. His eyes following her no matter where she went in the room. And how both seemed a little confused and unsure.

  A little spark of hope flashed within her. Maybe, just maybe… A small smile crossed her face and she hurried away, a bit of a plan forming itself in her mind.

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  After Sterling had been put down for a nap, Paige made her way to her room to sit down for a couple of hours. As much as she adored that child, he could wear a soul out. She sat down on the side of her bed, only for something that was sitting on the chair in the corner to catch her attention. It looked like an old, well-worn brown book. She walked over to the chair and picked up the book curiously, turning it over in her hands a few times. “Where did this come from?” She wondered. “It hasn’t been there the whole time… has it?”

  Moving back to her bed, she sat down and flipped open the front cover. The first thing she saw was the date written at the top of the page: April 4th, 1642.

  “Wait… this is a diary.” She quickly flipped it closed and tossed it onto the bed beside her. It wasn’t her place to pry into the lives of someone she didn’t know. Who did the diary belong to? Was it someone who still lived in the castle, consider
ing that the first date was from nearly ten years ago?

  Finally, her curiosity got the better of her and she slowly picked the book back up and opened it.

  April 4th, 1642

  I’ve always wanted to start a diary, but I never thought I’d have anything to write about.

  Now, I’ve decided to go ahead and give it a try. And as fate would have it, something happened to me today.

  I met the most exasperating boy in the history of exasperating boys. Let’s just say that thanks to him, I now have mud all over my only dress.

  He called himself Adrian

  She nearly dropped the book then. Adrian? She thought. Whose book is this? With a quick shake of her head, she went back to reading.

  Even though he offered me a hand up and apologized, he was laughing the whole time!

  Needless to say, I made myself scarce. I’m pretty sure I heard him laughing the whole time I was running away.

  Well, hopefully that’s the last I see him!

  “Why am I getting the feeling that it’s not?” She flipped the page, instantly realizing that it wasn’t a constantly updated journal.

  July 22nd, 1642

  I… ran into Adrian again. Only this time it was different.

  He recognized me instantly. Although he did start laughing, he apologized.

  Is it bad that I noticed how dark brown his eyes are?

  He walked around with me all day. Even helped a little with my chores.

  There’s something strange about this boy. I just can’t put my finger on it.

  He speaks like he has a good education, but at the same time, he has such an air of humility about him that I find myself intrigued.

  Not to mention that there’s something in his smile. A warmth that I don’t recall ever feeling before. And the sparkle in his eyes just makes me feel like I’m floating.

  I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t even know him. But… some part of me wants to change that.

  August 8th, 1644

  I can’t believe I haven’t written anything in here in two years! Oh, but my life has been so busy.

  Really, the only light in my life right now is Adrian.

  Yes, Adrian. The boy who knocked me into the mud and laughed about it.

  Over the past two years, we’ve grown unbelievably close.

  He listens to me when I feel like ranting about my day. And he’s always there when I need him.

  I think it’s safe to say that… I’ve fallen for the boy with the dirty blond hair and brown eyes.

  But how could I not? He’s sweet and he’s caring. He’s my best friend.

  Paige laid back on her pillow, her curiosity growing about the girl who wrote the book. Could this be his wife? But… who was she before they married? I assumed she was of noble blood.

  As she continued to read, the girl obviously was falling deeper and deeper in love with the boy she wrote of. When she turned to one page, the first thing she noticed that it looked like drops of water had been sprinkled over the page. And some of the ink was slightly smeared and blotched.

  December 19th. 1644

  What was I thinking?

  How could I have ever assumed the Adrian loved me?

  Paige sat straight up. “Wait. What!?”

  All this time I’ve known him, he never once mentioned that he was the son of the DUKE!

  Nor that he’s next in line to take over the affairs of this place.

  How foolish could I have been to think that he could ever possibly love me?

  I didn’t know it could hurt this much to discover that your love is impossible.

  How could someone like him, rich and of royal blood, love someone like me?

  A poor orphan whose own family abandoned her.

  I was literally blinded by love. Love that will never be returned.

  “Paige!” Mrs. Applegate called, knocking on the door. “Sterling is awake and looking for you.”

  “Oh!” She jumped straight off of her bed, tossing the diary onto her pillow. “I’m coming!”

  Sterling was waiting for her when she reached his room. “Where were you?” He asked, crossing his arms.

  “Sorry. I was reading and lost track of time.”

  One little eyebrow raised. “Reading? Eew.” He then shrugged and ran towards his bedroom

  door. “Come on! I want to play outside!”

  She glanced towards the window, only to see that rain was pouring from the sky in thick, wet sheets. “Oh no… Sterling!”

  ~*~*~*Reluctant Hearts*~*~*~

  Adrian leaned against the wall, staring out at the pouring rain. He’d needed a few moments to catch his breath from all the pressing matters of the day, so he’d decided to step out onto the front porch for the much needed fresh air. He didn't know why, but rain had always had a calming effect on him. He knew that most people hated it. It made them feel down and grumpy and irritable. He assumed it was probably because he'd met his wife in the rain. He'd proposed in the rain. And, of course, the happiest moment of his life had taken place in the rain...

  -Five Years Ago-

  Adrian leaned back into the seat of the carriage, listening as the torrents of rain pounded against the roof. He'd been away from home for nearly two weeks, and he was a bit more than homesick. A small smile crossed his face as his mind drifted to his wife.

  Beautiful, loving,happy... Despite the nagging and disappointed looks people had given him when he'd informed them that he was going to marry her, he couldn't find it in himself to be the least bit regretful. She was everything to him. His life. His love. His world.

  He straightened up as the driver informed him that they were entering his estate's front gate. He stared out through the window, trying to catch a glimpse of the one person he wanted to see.

  The carriage finally pulled to a stop, and he didn't bother to wait for the man to come around and open the door before he jumped out, swinging it back closed behind him. The door hadn't even clicked into place before a form threw itself onto him, wrapping around his neck and laughing happily.

  “Whoa!” He stumbled backwards in surprise, ultimately loosing balance on the slippery

  ground and landed with a squishy thud in the mud and grass, the person instantly landing against his chest. “What on earth!?” He exclaimed once he caught his breath and realized who was now hoovering over him. Her laughter filled the air, causing his heart to sing. But he still managed to scowl... sort of. “You're going to get sick in this weather!”

  She looked down at him, rain running down the long strands of her hair. “I missed you.”

  He smiled and reached up to gently move a strand of hair that was stuck to her face. “I missed you too. More than you'll ever know.” His whole life, he'd heard about that fantasy that some people called 'true love', but he'd never known what it meant til he'd looked into her bright blue eyes and saw every emotion that he felt reflected in them.

  “I have something to tell you!” She said, raising her voice to be heard about the rain.

  “How about you tell me inside?”

  “No! I want to tell you now! I've been waiting forever!” She got to her feet and pulled him up.

  “You're going to be a father!”

  He froze, partially bent over, one hand on his knee, the other caught in her hand. He slowly raised his head, wondering if he'd heard her right or if the rain had caused him to mishear. “What!?”

  “You're going to be a father!” She repeated, her smile growing. “We're going to have a baby.”

  He raised to his full height, his gaze never leaving her face. “You mean... you mean you're...”

  She nodded. “Yes!”

  “And I'm...”

  “Yes!”

  He suddenly laughed, his hands moving up to grab his hair. “I'm going to be a father!? We're going to have a baby!” Another laugh burst from his lungs as he grabbed her into his arms. “We're going to have a baby!” Her laughter joined his own as he picked her up and spun her aroun
d til he slipped and once again landed on the ground. He quickly flipped them over so that he was blocking her from the rain. “Really?”

  She laughed. “Yes, Adrian. Really.” She reached up and took his face in her hands. “You're a father.”

  A small smile played on his lips as the memory passed. More than anything, he wished he could see her face during those brief moments when his mind would recall something. But she was always blurry and unknown.

  A drop of water fell on his hand and he released a slow breath. But of course, it had also been raining the day his whole world had fallen apart. He shook away the thought before it had a chance to set in and decided to just watch the rain.

  He’d been standing there for about ten minutes when he heard the door swing open, and a

  moment later, a tiny figure went shooting past. He didn’t even have a chance to realize it was his son before Paige ran by, trying to catch the boy. She didn’t blink twice at the pouring rain as she attempted to catch up with child who was now jumping through puddles, whooping like a maniac.

  “Sterling!” She called. “You’re going to get s-whoa!” The next thing she knew, her feet slid out from beneath her and she fell straight back onto the muddy, slushy ground. She let out a breath of air as she pushed herself to a sitting position. She was literally in the middle of a large mud puddle, which took up most of the yard. She looked up as the sound of chuckling reached her ears.

  Adrian was standing over her, an amused smile on his face as he held a hand out to her. The pouring rain had already thoroughly soaked him, but he didn’t seem to notice or mind. “Here,” He said, not even attempting to keep the teasing grin from his face. “You might want to take a rain check for that stroll you were taking.”

  Her eyes narrowed as she stared up at him. Then, in one quick swing, her hand grabbed the back of his left foot and yanked it out from under him. With a startled yelp, he fell backwards onto the ground, sending a spray of mud flying into the air, and the next thing he knew, Paige was leaning over him, a mocking smile on her face.