The Guilty Generation

by Pat Simmons

  That night, holed up in her bedroom, Kami called Susanna and confided about the conversation she’d had with Tango. Since her new friend didn’t know her boyfriend, she wouldn’t be as biased as her family.

  “So what do you think?” Kami asked.

  “Hmm, don’t know. Sounds like he doesn’t miss you as much as you miss him.”

  Staring at the tattoo, Kami couldn’t bring herself to believe that.

  “I would make him jealous if I were as pretty as you.”

  The compliment was lost on Kami. “That’s childish. Grown folks don’t do that.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve seen it happen.” Susanna changed the subject until they laughed and giggled about other stuff for more than an hour. Only when the call ended did Kami realize Tango’s name never came up again.

  Wednesday was a better day. Talking to her new friend and getting on her knees to pray more than sixty seconds helped. That evening she would mingle with the young professionals as part of the pre-Juneteenth events. Susanna said she should flirt with the guys in Tulsa, but Kami couldn’t, even if she was mad at Tango. He was her first boyfriend, and she wanted to be faithful.

  On Thursday, she and Queen admired an exhibit of paintings by Black artists and watched a movie in the park. They left early since both had to work the next day.

  Crowds turned out in the Greenwood District on Friday, June 19th to celebrate the June 19, 1865, announcement that slavery was abolished and those who were still in bondage in Texas were now free.

  “Slavery hadn’t been over sixty years when the tragedy hit Greenwood with a massacre here in 1921,” a speaker told the audience from a makeshift stage in front of the crowd. “The Tulsa race riot is still considered the worst attack on Blacks in U.S. history. When we commemorate this event, it serves as a reminder to the world that cruelty didn’t end with the Emancipation Proclamation.”

  Kami shivered. It was different learning about the White mob attack from her family, but to actually stand on the grounds where it happened seemed sacred.

  “It was an attack from the ground and by air. Thousands of White folks rampaged through Black neighborhoods, killing men and women, burning and looting stores and homes. When it was over, the mob had succeeded in destroying more than thirty blocks of one of the wealthiest Black communities in the country.” Queen didn’t hide her emotions. “My great aunt lived through it and described it as a form of a Black holocaust.”

  Kami had read that ten thousand Black people were left homeless, and there was millions of dollars in property damage. She knew from her family meetings that Blacks were forced out of small towns because of intimidation, making them extinct in a sense.

  After a candlelight service, the excitement built for a concert that featured Marcus Anderson, the former saxophonist for the late musician Prince.

  There was more musical entertainment on Saturday. Organizers transformed the parking lot on Greenwood Avenue into a huge dance floor. One of the bands was Midnight Star, and it was after midnight when they arrived home. They crashed because they had out danced everybody there.

  Kami had invited Susanna to the closing the ceremony on Sunday, which ended with more dancing, poetry reading, and an impromptu praise moment in the park that evening. Her new friend declined, saying Juneteenth was too depressing. Yes and no, Kami thought. Her father drilled into his children the importance of knowing our history and doing everything within our power not to allow the injustice to ever happen again

  The following weekend, Kami and her aunt were still recuperating after the Juneteenth celebrations. They had decided to watch silly movies all weekends. The down time gave Kami more time to reflect on Tango, but she dared not call him again. Not that she thought she might get caught. She didn’t know if she was ready for more hurt feelings.

  “Have you ever been in love?” Kami asked out of the blue as she hugged a gigantic pillow with her back against the headboard.

  She had heard her parents’, aunts’, and uncles’ stories about falling in love and guessed Queen hadn’t because she was still single.

  “Yeah, maybe a couple of times,” Queen answered, staring at the flat screen.

  Kami frowned and sat up in the bed and crossed her legs Indian style. Grabbing the remote, she paused the movie. “A couple of times? If there’s only one soulmate, how can you be in love more than once?”

  Her aunt smiled. “You’ll learn that the first time your heart flutters isn’t always love. Maybe it’s attraction or heartburn.” She chuckled, but Kami didn’t. “It’s puppy love. Fast-forward ten or fifteen years, and the real test comes.”

  Ten or fifteen years? Kami didn’t have time to see if Tango was her puppy love, even though his attitude put him in the dog house as her parents said.

  “The next guy who comes along is everything you dreamt he would be from all your romantic movies and books, but only on the surface. Once you begin to remove his layers, he turns out to be a decoy.”

  Kami’s heart twisted. Tango wasn’t a decoy. He was the real thing.

  “A first love is like getting your first car—it’s not new, but it works, and means everything to you. You pamper it until it lets you down, then you have to decide whether it’s worth the investment to keep it running, or you ditch it for something better.”

  Huh? “Queen, you’ve lost me.”

  “There may come a time when you realize your first love isn’t worth the investment and it’s time for something new that is dependable,” she said with sincerity in her voice. She wasn’t joking.

  Rolling her eyes, Kami picked up the remote and resumed the movie. “You are so over my head. I thought I asked a simple question.”

  Queen paused the television again. “Love is never simple when you’re willing to put someone else first. Real love puts everyone first.”

  I so loved the world that I gave my only begotten son, God whispered.

  John 3:16, Kami thought. She knew she had God’s love, but she wanted a love of her own. “So, what kind of car am I supposed to get?” The whole idea of a car and love was stupid.

  “The car should be a sedan—classy, stylish on the outside. You have to give it a name—Antwon or something real masculine. It can’t sound girlie. It has to be a masculine name to get your attention. You check the interior for color and comfort. Does it complement your personality? Do you feel safe behind the wheel?” She paused. “Men see me as a flashy car, and why not? I’m the sedan screaming for attention, but no one has yet to appreciate my interior or seems concerned about my comfort. That driver has not checked out my sticker price.”

  Although Queen smiled, Kami sensed it was forced. She looked sad. How could someone not love her aunt? That made her sad too. If Kami were a car, would Tango think there was something better than her? Maybe it was worth sneaking another call to him.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy,” Kami greeted Parke over the phone when he answered. Sleep lingered in her voice.

  Everybody in his household was about to head out to church. The sound of her calling him Daddy warmed his heart despite the fuss his sons and wife made over him that morning—but this was his little girl who was growing up too fast.

  “Thank you, my favorite daughter,” he teased.

  “I’m your only daughter.”

  Parke smirked, imagining her rolling her eyes. As long as he didn’t mention Tango, the tattoo, and the “you’re not my daddy” comment, their relationship would be back on track. That was a lot to forget.

  I require you to love her, I’m the only One who can forgive and forget sins, God whispered Micah 7:19.

  “And don’t you forget it. Aren’t you and your aunt going to church?”

  “Umm-umm. I mean, no, sir. We stayed up late last night talking and watching movies. We both decided to rest today.”

  Okay, Parke said to himself. Pace and Paden—who begged to tag along and promised to be on his best behavior—would have been in Tulsa this weekend had
it not been for Father’s Day. Now, the surprise visit would be the Fourth of July weekend. Putting his oldest two sons on a plane couldn’t come fast enough.

  He had planned to call and give Queen the heads up. He needed to add a discussion about wholesome mentorship too. After exchanging their ‘I love yous,’ he and Kami ended the call. He strolled outside to the driveway where their SUV was waiting for him. Parke climbed in the passenger seat and strapped his seat belt. As the king for the day, all the driving was defaulted to his wife as the chauffeur. He was beaming. “My daughter called and wished me Happy Father’s Day.”

  Cheney smiled and drove off. She didn’t have to say anything. His wife knew how much a call from Kami meant to him.

  At church, all the fathers were given boutonnières and escorted to their seats as if they were royalty. The praise was soul stirring and the Spirit of the Lord filled the place as Pastor Baylor quieted the congregation. Right before the morning message, the pastor asked all the dads to stand so they could be acknowledged.

  “Now, my reference is coming from the Book of Proverbs. Fathers, don’t believe the hype from the media or society. You matter to your family and us.”

  Pace reached over and patted Parke on his back as a chorus of cheers filled the sanctuary. Chance and Paden imitated their big brother. He felt so blessed to have sons. He grabbed Cheney’s hand and squeezed it. He was also blessed to have this woman as his wife.

  “God made you first, and you are the head. Strive to be your sons’ and daughters’ hero by leading them to Christ. Throughout the Bible, God has shown a soft spot for the fatherless and widows. They are defenseless without their head. Fathers, your job is to protect, nurture, love, and discipline them in wisdom without provoking them to anger.”

  As many times as Parke had read the passages, he never noticed the emphasis placed on the care and treatment of the fatherless and widows.

  “It’s mentioned from the Old Testament to the New: Exodus 22:22–23 to James 1:27, and more instances,” the pastor pointed out.

  Except for Ace and Kidd’s father, Samuel, the Jamieson men didn’t leave their families, but stayed with them until death do them part. Just like Papa P’s mission for his sons, Parke wanted his sons and daughter to thrive as adults, continue to walk in the fear of the Lord, and not follow the ways of the world. Yet, despite his four children being reared under the same roof, their personalities were different, which included the rebellious one who had tested him. Lord Jesus, guide me. I can’t lead without You.

  Afterward, the Jamieson brothers and cousins took Papa P out to celebrate the day with the patriarch. Later that night, Cheney snuggled under the covers with him.

  “Did you have a good Father’s Day?”

  “Yes, my beautiful, loving wife and the mother of my children.” He kissed her. As long as he walked by faith and not by sight, life was good. “Oh, I spoke with Queen today about our sons coming for a visit. She thinks that will make Kami’s day and liked the idea of a surprise...”

  She looked up at him. “Why do I have a feeling there is something else on your mind?”

  He huffed. “Kami has yet to attend church since she’s been there.” He shook his head. “I know that isn’t God’s plan.”

  Cheney turned and stared into his eyes. Mischief twinkled in hers. “I’ve got a plan.”

  A slow grin crossed his face. Father’s Day was over, but he was still king in the bedroom. With one click of the lamp, the room went dark.

  Lace and Pearls Salon was crazy busy because of the upcoming Fourth of July weekend. Every stylist’s chair was occupied as well as the manicure and pedicure stations. Only two clients remained in the waiting room.

  Glued to a video on her phone, Kami drowned out the chatter around her, then suddenly, everything stopped, except for some moans and seductive hellos as the chime alerted the salon that someone had entered. There weren’t any more clients scheduled, so she looked up and clasped her hand over her mouth to muffle her scream. The shock on Pace’s face had to match hers.

  Happiness washed over her at seeing her brothers. Standing, she nudged the chair aside to make room for her exit, then she ran into Pace’s arms and squeezed him with all her might until he trapped her in his embrace and chuckled.

  “Honey, if this is your boyfriend,” Miss Pearl said, coming to stand next to her, “I’d tattoo his name on my forehead.” She lifted a brow, assessing Pace.

  Looking over her shoulder, Kami laughed. “These are my brothers,” she said as Paden wrapped her in a bear hug and tested his strength by lifting her off the ground. “Let me down, boy,” she squealed.

  She missed their horseplay. They would bump heads strictly to annoy each other. Although Pace was technically older by several months, Kami made sure Paden knew she was five years older than him, regardless of him towering over her.

  “You look...different,” Pace said. He scanned her from head to shoes. “Your hair is so brown and you look grown up.”

  Kami smirked and rested her hand on her hip. “I am grown up.” She twirled around to give him the full affect. Not in the short sets and rompers she was known to wear, her work clothes consisted of flirty blouses and tailored skirts and pants, courtesy of Queen.

  “Do you think Tango will like the ‘new’ me?”

  “About ‘the boyfriend,’ we need to talk,” Pace said in a low voice near her ear with a serious expression that reminded her of their father.

  Immediately, she panicked. Her eyes blurred. “What’s wrong? Is Tango okay?”

  “Last I checked, he’ll live,” Grandma BB said, announcing her presence in full fashion, including her two-tone tan-and-blue Stacy Adams shoes to match her blue dress. Her bodyguards, Chip and Dale, stood at her sides. Grandma BB blinked at Kami and fell back into her bodyguards’ arms. “Chile, is that you?” She squinted. “What did you do with my little Kami?”

  “You’re going to break some boy’s heart, Kami.” Chip winked.

  Her makeover was old news to her. She forgot it was new to them. Shoving her brothers out the way, she wrapped her arms around Grandma BB. “You really came to see me.” She tried to contain her emotions.

  “Of course. I had my chauffeurs with me.” She tilted her head at the double trouble as Kami liked to tease them.

  “You know she was our chauffeur, because she likes to drive.” Chip chuckled.

  Yep. That was her Grandma BB. “But Tango is okay, right?” Her heart raced with fear.

  Grandma BB patted her shoulder. “We’ll talk later. I only tapped him with the car. The sun got in my eyes.”

  The bodyguards laughed while Kami gasped in horror. Before she could tear up, Grandma BB waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss any seriousness of the matter. “I took him to the ER myself to make sure he didn’t have any broken bones. Hmph. Should have hit him harder. I’m tired now.”

  While Chip and Dale guided Grandma BB to the nearest seat, Kami introduced her brothers to everybody. It was always comical how young and old women shamelessly flirted with them. Paden, who was a year away from being a teenager, wasn’t exempt. Personally, she thought they looked okay.

  “Are those your brothers too?” a client asked.

  “No,” Grandma BB answered from her seat, revealing she had perfect hearing. “They’re retired dancers and bouncers. Now, Chip and Dale are my boy toys.”

  Murmurs echoed throughout the salon, asking if they were for rent. Her brothers joined Grandma BB in the reception area where her bodyguards didn’t seem a bit uncomfortable being in a girlie place. Neither did Pace and Paden. Kami took her seat behind the counter to act professional for the reminder of her shift. “Does Queen know you’re here?”

  “Yep. It was your surprise.” Paden grinned.

  “So you rode with Grandma BB?” Kami asked.

  “Nope. Paden and I flew.” Pace tilted her head. “She left early this morning. Oh, before I forget...” He reached in his back pocket and slipped out an envelope. “Here.” She frowne
d, and he explained, “It’s your allowance from Dad.”

  Kami choked. “But I have a job.” She opened the envelope. There had to be at least two hundred dollars in twenties. This was more than she ever got for an allowance. Suddenly, she wanted to go home and hug her dad tight and take back everything she said that night in front of Tango.

  “I’ll take it.” Their younger brother tried to grab it.

  “I don’t think so.” Kami made sure it was beyond his reach, then stuck out her tongue.

  “What?” Paden looked from her to Pace and griped, “She acted like she doesn’t want it.”

  “You have your own spending money,” Pace told his younger brother and rubbed the curls in his head.

  Slapping his brother’s hand away, Paden twisted his lips. “Whatever.”

  A short time later, Queen strolled into the salon, and they bestowed hugs and kisses on her. Her aunt glowed from the attention. Grandma BB’s bodyguards gave her a slow assessment, but Queen either dismissed them or didn’t notice.

  That evening, Queen’s quiet home came alive with love, laughter, and loud voices. This was what Kami was used to and realized how much she missed it. She invited Susanna to come and meet her family. Her friend took one look at her older brother and seemed star struck. Pace was oblivious as he updated them about what was going on with every cousin from the twins to her grandparents.

  Kami thrived in the mini-Jamieson reunion atmosphere. It was non-stop laughter until Grandma BB mentioned Tango.

  “I told you we needed to talk about him,” Pace said in a hesitant voice, eying Susanna.

  If he was concerned about privacy, Kami wasn’t as she folded her arms. “What about him?”

  Meeting her stare, he leaned forward from his perch on the sofa. “First of all, I love you and don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “Yeah, like Tango.” Grandma BB snickered, then hushed when Pace gave her a pleading expression to be quiet.

  “He’s not the one for you, sis.” Pace shook his head.

  “Who are you to pick my boyfriends?” Kami challenged. She was happy to see family, but if Pace came all the way to Tulsa to badmouth Tango, he could go back home. “You’re not my—” She caught herself.