Mind Fray

by Alexie Aaron

“Cezar, dark wizard of the eighth level, I condemn you to death,” Orion said evenly. “May you never exist in any dimension again. The darkness won’t help you now. A wizard that eats his own brains is doomed,” he said simply and dusted off his hands.

  Cezar moved upwards as if flying starward would release him from his fate. But the killer was within him. The most powerful mind reader in the world would die from ingesting his own mind.

  Angelo walked over and stood next to his friend and asked, “How long does he have?”

  “Don’t really know. You see, I’ve never done this before. Have you?”

  Angelo shook his head. He looked down at Uta’s spectral remains. “You were right about the bait though. She didn’t stand a chance.”

  “I disagree, she could at any time have let us give the elixir to Anatolie or Lee Heinz.”

  “But she was greedy. She took it all in,” Angelo confirmed.

  Cezar looked down at the birdmen and saw them for what they were. He then cast his dying eyes on the humans he tortured and knew there would be no help coming from them. He had been played. The greatest mind ever had been played.

  “We were wrong about the thralls,” Orion pointed out. “Only Uta was evil. The others were enslaved but only to be but saddlebags on the asses of the spectral world.”

  “That’s pretty clever,” Angelo remarked.

  Gerald walked over and joined the birdmen. “Bev wanted to ask how much longer? She’s hungry.”

  “She’s always hungry,” Angelo commented.

  “Well,” Orion said, angling his head. “I don’t really know. We’ll know the end is near when there’s a lot of popping noises.”

  Gerald looked down at him amused.

  “Bound to be. Everything he touched will explode.”

  “Whoa, everything? He touched Paulo,” Angelo said in alarm.

  “Everything, T H I N G. I expect Father Santos isn’t a robot priest?” Orion asked.

  Gerald looked at the others and waved them away from the lot.

  Glenda walked out onto the porch of the house. She sat down on a rocker and called, “Audrey, I think it’s safe to come out now.”

  Audrey walked out and saw everyone moving away from the empty lot.

  “Is it over?” she asked.

  “I don’t expect so. There’s a few folks looking up at the pulsating light over yonder.”

  Audrey looked up.

  Angelo’s driver pulled the limo into the drive. He tipped his hat to Audrey before extracting a few folding chairs from the back. He walked them over to where Angelo and Orion were keeping watch with Gerald. He opened them up and took their drink orders.

  Mia hopped out of the trailer and walked over to where Audrey was standing.

  “You might want to relax. This might take a while,” she said.

  “What did we miss?” Audrey asked.

  “You mean while you and Glenda were hiding in the house?”

  “I was not hiding; I’ve a tricky bowel,” Glenda snorted.

  “Yes,” Audrey said quickly.

  “Unbeknownst to you, you were fed bad information. Uta, she’s the extinguished light on the ground, read your mind and grabbed what she thought was the elixir of life and drank it all. It was poison of a sort.”

  “Waddya mean, of a sort? It’s either poison or not,” huffed Glenda.

  “It was poison to thralls and most certainly to Cezar. You see, it was a gas made up of Cezar’s brains.”

  “I’m going to be sick. I saw that stuff. I knew I smelt something bad cooking,” Audrey claimed.

  Mia looked at her. “You look a little green. Perhaps you better sit down.”

  “So how’d they get the bozo to eat his own brains?”

  “I guess if you’re hungry enough, you’ll eat anything,” Mia mused a moment and then explained the goal of the PEEPs in the house. “And so Uta steals the potion she thinks is for Anatolie; Cezar feeds off of her; and that’s how you get a wizard of the eighth level to eat his own brain.”

  “Sounds plausible,” Glenda said. “So what’s everyone waiting for?”

  “There seems to be no idea of how long it’s going to take for Cezar to cease to be alive.”

  “Ain’t he already dead?” Glenda asked.

  “Actually, no. His body is dead, but he’s not dead dead,” Mia pointed out. “Just sorta dead.” She scratched her head, pondering her statement.

  “Oh, and evidently before he dies, everything he has physically touched will explode. Oh my god!” Mia realized and ran off the porch towards Angelo. “Angelo, where is the handbill?” she asked breathlessly.

  “It’s safe in the… Oh, a thousand horrors!” he said and started ripping off his clothes.

  “Now that’s an attractive man. I wonder how she gets them to take off their clothes,” Glenda pondered aloud. “Now that’s one potion, poison or otherwise, I’d drink.”

  Angelo shot up into the sky and was gone. Mia started to pick up his clothes, but an “Ahem,” from his approaching driver stopped her. She sat down in his chair instead.

  Orion looked over at her, amused. “We didn’t think of it. It never occurred to me. Gerald?”

  “Don’t know the rules. I’m glad it’s not in my safe when it explodes. What’s the threat assessment?”

  “Very high, I’d say,” Orion said calculating. “It could topple some of the artifacts, disrupt a few safeguards, burn a couple of demonic comic books. There’s that little island that’s kept afloat by a magic scroll. Scrolls are highly flammable.”

  “Corsica?” Gerald asked. “Is that the island kept afloat by magic?”

  “No, north of there,” Orion shut his eyes, trying to come up with the name.

  “Should we warn them?” Mia suggested.

  “We could, but I really think Angelo is going to come through. He looked rather motivated,” Gerald said.

  “Ireland, that’s it,” Orion said, clapping his hands together.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Angelo grabbed the crystal quartz box and moved as quickly as he could out of the vault. He took off flying, frantically running safe places for something to explode through his mind. He hovered over Mt. Etna but feared dropping the package in would cause it to burn and, in doing so, give Cezar another chance. He flew towards the Milwaukee Deep in the Puerto Rico Trench. Once there, he hoped to be able to gain enough altitude to drop the crystal box. If it exploded prior to reaching the water, fine, but it would be better if it reached the depth of the trench before that happened. He prayed there would be no boats in the area. It wasn’t that Angelo worried about the risk of discovery, but he had begun to understand the value of innocent human life.

  He felt a slight vibration. Angelo thrust the box forward and waited until the last moment before dropping it. He fanned his wings, stalling his progress. He watched the box fall into the trench. The explosion was a bit large for a piece of cursed paper. He would have to discuss this with Orion when he returned.

  ~

  Mia relayed her information of the proposed explosions to Ted who brought the others, on the other side of the empty lot, up-to-date. Beverly dragged one of the PEEPs chairs over to where Gerald, Mia and Orion were deep in conversation.

  “Can I sit here or is it just for the cool kids?” she asked.

  Gerald got up and helped her with her chair.

  “So how long has it been?” she asked, nodding upwards.

  “An hour,” Orion said frowning. “I wonder if I shouldn’t have used the gluten for binding?”

  Mia couldn’t help giggling. She found the small birdman delightful. It was nice to be able to let one’s guard down. If anything flared up, there were many much more capable hands than hers to handle the situation. She looked around the immediate area. Jake had brought Curly off the lot. Murphy was in deep - as deep as Murphy could get - conversation with Cid, who looked like he’d had the crap knocked out of him. Periodically, Ted chimed in with updates and ridiculous observations. She loved
having his voice in her ear. She felt an odd vibration. She stood up.

  “I think it’s starting,” she said, tapping her earcom.

  “The instruments confirm activity,” Ted reported. “Kind of sounds like Rice Krispies, a lot of Rice Krispies. Speaking of, I think I missed breakfast.”

  Mia turned to Orion and asked, “What happens when rocks explode?”

  “I’m not really that familiar with it, but when they erode, they become sand. Tiny little pieces. Have you ever looked at sand under a…”

  The deafening onslaught of bursting foundation stones combined with a buzzing sound. Mia would later liken it to a coffee bean grinder on steroids. Right now she had her hands on her ears, and she was moving away from the open lot and towards the sound-muffling security of Irma’s house. Sure, she wanted to witness the final destruction of Cezar, but not at the cost of something exploding in her direction, possibly harming the child that she carried. Ted had enough cameras trained on the events at hand. She wouldn’t be missing much.

  “Ted, I’m cowering in Irma’s house, over,” she shouted as she reached the porch.

  “Those that shriek and run away, live to play another day, over,” he replied. “Do you want me to give you a play-by-play?”

  “No, I think I’m going to catch up on some sleep. Do you think you could ask the noisy neighbor to keep things down, over?”

  “I’ll try,” he shouted above the din. “Stay safe, over!”

  Angelo landed at the back of Irma’s house. He quickly walked inside to dress. He met Mia in the kitchen. She pointed to the cup she was holding. He shook his head and moved carefully around her and headed down the hall to the bedroom and his clothes.

  Mia wished she could have reported that she didn’t stare at the magnificent man as he passed. She supposed a strong woman wouldn’t have pondered the size of his genitals or the firmness of his behind, but she wasn’t that strong. “Why does all that have to be attached to such an asshole?” she said to the coffeemaker.

  “Heroic asshole, my lady,” Orion corrected behind her.

  Mia spun around and tried not to look so damned guilty. “I didn’t see you there. Who’s watching Cezar?”

  “Gerald and Father Santos. Beverly’s actually sleeping. She said to wake her when the good stuff happens.”

  “Well, it has been quite an anticlimactic climax,” Mia said, pouring the freshly brewed coffee into two cups, handing one to Orion.

  “Well, I take full credit for that one. I always err on the side of caution. It’s why I’m not asked out on many field trips.”

  Mia tried not to smile, but the corners of her mouth refused to stay down. “Is it normal for a person to fall in love with so many people?”

  “In your present condition, you’ll fall in love with a sponge,” Orion said, lifting his cup and toasting her.

  “I did see a pair of boots shopping with Glenda that I think I’ve formed an emotional bond with.”

  It was Orion’s time to laugh.

  Angelo strode into the kitchen and handed Mia his tie. “Please, the mirrors are all too low,” he said.

  Mia encouraged Angelo to sit in a chair by patting the seat with her hand.

  Orion watched the two relate to one another. Mia’s present condition put her in a maternal frame of mind. She gently pulled up his collar and encircled his neck with the tie. She was concentrating on tying what Orion could see was a double Winsor knot, otherwise she would have been rocked by the ardent look of admiration and love that was betrayed on Angelo’s face.

  “There,” Mia said, stepping back. “Next!”

  “Sorry, I’m more of an open-necked shirt kind of a guy,” Orion said.

  Angelo stood up.

  “Well, is Ireland still afloat?” Orion questioned him.

  “I got the handbill out of harm’s way in time. Almost singed a few feathers in the process,” he said, winking at Mia. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to check on our languishing wizard,” Angelo said. He turned to Orion, “Coming?”

  “In a moment. I have my coffee to finish. I’m not fond of sand particles in my Columbian.”

  Mia sat down and put her feet up on the table and waited for Orion to speak. “Well?”

  “He loves you.”

  “I don’t know why. I’m not normally nice to him.”

  “Birdmen mate for life,” Orion cautioned her.

  “I assure you, Angelo and I never mated,” Mia said. “Besides, may I point something out? That goon has bullied me, used me, conned me, and, oh yes, purchased me. When I was single and available, he told me flatly that he was only interested in large women. I think that all this…” Mia waved her hands around and continued, “brings on the feeling of romance. I, however, am not some Nell to be saved or some nymphet to tempt those away from their quests. I’m Mia Cooper Martin, married lady, who just so happens to have been given gifts to help the stuck to move on. I’m off the auction block. I don’t understand the attraction. I’m grumpy, hungry all the time, and honestly, a bit of a bitch.”

  Orion roared with laughter. “Come on, doesn’t it make you a little bit happy that you have someone as endowed and powerful as Angelo wrapped around your finger?”

  “No.”

  Orion nodded his head. “Okay, lady of caliber, I will leave you now. I have a wizard to see to.”

  Mia watched him leave. When she heard the door close, she took her feet off the table and put her arms down on the table. She laid her head down and fell asleep.

  ~

  Orion was dumbstruck, as were the other observers, as a line of bubbling, sandy particles shot out of the earth from the original foundations of the Fletcher house. It reminded him more of a Vegas fountain display than pulverized rocks. Every few seconds, another set of explosions would happen, and more sand would burble and, in some cases, shoot ten, fifteen feet in the air. Above it all, Cezar Gabor twisted in agony. It must have been the touch of oregano he had put in. He had never seen it dried like that, and it was just setting on the kitchen counter so he dropped a few leaves in, for taste.

  Ted asked for an extended potty break. Burt begrudgingly took over the console. “You’re so handsome when you pout,” Ted said, exchanging the headset of power for an earcom.

  Burt grumbled something and sat down. “Wait, wait a moment, what’s you-know-who doing?”

  “There’s a lot of you-know-who’s here. Care to elaborate?”

  “J A K E.”

  “You do know that he can spell. Well, he’s moving Curly around the inside of the ranch. With possible explosions, I thought it wise to make sure something didn’t catch on fire. Depending upon Cezar’s recent activity, it could possibly look like coleslaw in there.”

  “What if Curly gets damaged?”

  “We can rebuild him,” Ted assured Burt and hopped of the back of the truck. He took a moment to scan for any debris that would trip him up before running full out to Irma’s house and Mia. It felt good to unkink the long muscles in his legs. He gazed at the pulsating light now fifty feet overhead briefly from the porch when he arrived. He opened the door and shouted, “Lucy, I’m home!”

  Mia lifted her head. She thought she heard Ted say something. She looked around blurry-eyed and saw him standing in the doorway. Auburn curls licked at the back of his hat, and his cheeks were flushed from running. This made his freckles stand out. He looked down at her with his warm brown eyes. “Mrs. Martin, I think it’s time to get you home.”

  “That sounds wonderful, but I think we’d better stick around. I wouldn’t say no to a cuddle,” she said, reaching her arms up.

  Ted moved quickly to her. “Who says you’re not a nymphet,” he said, gathering her in his arms.

  “You heard?”

  “You never turned your microphone off.”

  “Oh.” Mia plucked the earcom out of her ear and set it on the table and put the empty mug over it. “Who’s on console?”

  “Burt. Don’t worry, I disconnected you when I heard y
ou snoring.”

  “I do not… yes, I do. That’s another thing, why would you want a snoring, grumpy…”

  “Don’t forget bitchy,” Ted teased, picking her up in his arms and walking down the hall with her.

  Mia continued, “Bitchy woman on your hands. Ah, don’t stop here, unless you want to be interrupted by naked birdmen. Let’s use the room at the end of the hall.”

  Ted walked in and gently set his wife down on the bed. He walked back to the door and teetered as he took off his socks.

  Mia watched amused. “What are you doing?”

  Ted tied the two fragrant tube socks together and balanced them on the doorknob on the other side of the door, commenting, “Universal do-not-disturb sign.” He shut and locked the door before returning to the bed.

  Mia patted the mattress beside her.

  Ted shook his head. First, I’d like to remind you why you’re Mia Cooper Martin in the first place. He seductively moved as he took off his hat.

  Mia whistled as Ted fluffed out his curly hair before shaking it. Next he pulled off his Chiefs jersey, exposing the much mended Batman 80’s era tee.

  Mia scooted up and put a few pillows behind her head. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Her husband, the geeky guy from Kansas, was demonstrating his knowledge of the Full Monty floor show.

  Glenda exited the bathroom. She glanced at the socks on the door down the hall and smiled. It wasn’t hard to figure out who was taking advantage of the loud lull in the action. The socks were poorly mended, and they weren’t even matched. Ted. “Where Ted goes, so does Mia,” she said. She walked into the kitchen and locked the back door. She walked through the living room and out onto the front porch where she dragged her rocker in front of the entrance and sat down. She wasn’t a ghost hunter, not even a passable investigator, but what Glenda could do best was to know when two young folks needed privacy.

  “I know I keep going on about this, but I’m baffled about how that thing up there could totally get into my mind,” Cid lamented. “I knew going in that it was going to pull something out of the hat. When it showed me the kids at the Y, I was able to handle them. But the snow, it was so real. I got lost in it, just like the first time.”