Stranded

by Nicole Dykes

“I didn’t think he would either. I was surprised when he told me, Ev. But he did say that he cheated on you, that he fucked up.”

  “No.” I wrap my arms around my waist, clutching my stomach that’s aching. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

  Liam was the perfect boyfriend. Loving and kind. Sensitive. When I was sick, he brought me soup. When my mom was a bitch, he’d rub my back, hold me, and tell me everything was okay and that I didn’t deserve her as a mother. He was a gentle lover, which may not be my favorite, but when he kissed me, I felt loved. He wouldn’t do that to me.

  “Ev . . .” He takes a step toward me, and I take a step back, dropping my hands to my sides.

  “No. Why the hell are you lying? What’s going on? Are you that fucking bored? Tired of having sex and thought you would just spice it up?”

  “No.” He looks defeated. “Of course not.”

  “Then why now? Why tell me now? Over three weeks later. Why?” My voice is hoarse, and I’m on the verge of tears, but I don’t care. I keep my head up and look into his eyes.

  “Because I can’t do it anymore. I can’t fucking lie to you or keep this secret or whatever the fuck. I can’t.” His voice is strained, weakened by emotions. My knees feel wobbly beneath me like they won’t hold me up much longer.

  I shake my head, almost to the point of a breakdown. I’m sure I look insane. “He wouldn’t cheat on me. You’re lying.”

  “I’m not. He told me.”

  “When?”

  “Right before you guys came to our house to leave. It’s why it took us so long to answer the door. He’d just told me.”

  I’m still shaking my head, but it did take them forever to answer the door. They both look flustered when they finally did. Liam was pale. I thought he was sick. “No.”

  “Everly . . .” He steps toward me again, and this time I don’t move away. Not yet.

  “What did he say?”

  His shoulders drop, and he takes another deep breath. “He said he fucked up. That he’d cheated.”

  “With who?”

  “I didn’t ask.”

  I glare at him, my eyes trying to burn him. “You didn’t ask? Are you kidding?”

  He steps closer. “It didn’t matter who it was.”

  His hand moves to my shoulder, and I push him away. “Don’t touch me. You knew? He told you before the wreck. And you knew.” My teeth clench together so hard I feel like they could crack. “You didn’t tell me.”

  He steps back, gripping his hair again. “I was a little fucking busy trying to keep us alive.”

  “Oh, fuck you. You could have told me once we got into a routine, and you fucking know it.” I walk toward him now, angry and thinking about all the times he held me. Of all the time we had here. Of all our conversations, and he never told me. “You didn’t.”

  “No. I didn’t. I didn’t . . .” He drops his hand from his hair. “Fuck!”

  “Why?”

  His eyes are pleading. “He was my best friend. For my entire life, he was there for me. We told each other everything. Every fucking thing. I knew I could go to him with anything, and he knew the same. Was that loyalty supposed to be gone just because he died?”

  “No. But maybe when you fucked me!” I’m angry and shouting, but how could he keep this from me? “Or maybe when you kissed me.”

  His face, God, his face . . . He looks destroyed, but I can’t. I can’t believe he’d hide this from me. After everything I’ve told him. After all the time I spent relying on him. “Believe me, it killed me. I didn’t know where the fuck my loyalty was . . .” He lowers his eyes. “Until the other night.”

  “What changed then?” I stand before him now, challenging him for a good answer. “Huh?”

  “I don’t know. Something shifted, and I knew I couldn’t keep this from you anymore. But still . . . even now . . . Fuck, Everly I feel like I’m betraying him all over again.”

  “And what about his betrayal to me?” I point at my chest, to my broken heart because fuck his loyalty.

  “He was my best friend.”

  “He was my boyfriend. And he fucking cheated on me. He’s broken my heart, and you knew it would, and you didn’t tell me. You fucked me, over and over again, knowing he cheated. Knowing I didn’t know that and was feeling guilty. Like I was cheating on him.”

  He’s angry now. “So now you don’t feel guilty? Because he’s a cheater, you can fuck me guilt-free?”

  “Is that why you told me?” I return his glare.

  “No.”

  “Then why? Why the hell are you all the sudden loyal to me?” My hand clenches at my side, wanting to slap him. Wanting him to hurt because I’m aching. “Huh?” My voice is loud, and I’m screaming again. So damn angry. “You had me. We were fucking like bunnies. Why fuck all that up, huh?”

  “It isn’t just sex, Ev. Fuck!” His body is rigid, and so is mine. Both of us are breathing hard and angry. “It’s your fucking flowers.”

  “What?” I look at him in confusion now, not expecting that.

  “Your goddamn flowers and your strength. Your ballbusting hatred. All of it.”

  “You sound psychotic. You’re not making any sense.”

  He steps closer to me, wrapping his good hand behind my back and pulling me into him, not letting me go, but I’m not fighting to get away. “I am. You’re just not listening to me. It’s you, Everly. The fact that you want to be a florist and not a surgeon. The fact that you were cheated on by your idiot first boyfriend and didn’t back down when your mom wanted you to forgive him. Your fire. Your drive. You choosing to be you even if you’re going to get pushback.” His mouth is distracting as I watch his lips move, and for a moment, I’m weak as I listen to him. “Your touch. It isn’t sweet. It isn’t soft. You know what you want, and you go for it. The way you fuck . . .”

  “Stop.” I need him to stop talking.

  “No.” He holds me tighter. “You fuck the way you live. With fight. With anger. With fierce determination. You fuck me hard, and you let me fuck you hard too. Your movements are calculated and rhythmic. You don’t want anyone to know how much you care, but you do. You kiss that way too.”

  He’s staring at my lips now. “Don’t fucking kiss me.”

  “When you kiss, I feel it. How damn much you care.” I swallow, watching his lips. Wishing I could look away because it’s only been that way with him. I wonder if he knows that.

  “Don’t.”

  “Hearing your dreams. Hearing that you want to make the world brighter. That you want people to feel loved even when you didn’t. My loyalty shifted. Maybe it had a long time before that, but I couldn’t fucking take it anymore.”

  I sob, and I hate the sound. I look away, but he’s still holding me. “You should have told me sooner.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  I look back at him and into his eyes. “You fucked me bare.”

  His forehead crinkles with confusion. “Yeah . . .”

  “What if he gave me something?” I push him away. “Were you that fucking desperate to have me that you risked getting some disease.”

  He shakes his head, looking guilty again. “No. He used a condom when he . . .”

  “You asked him that?”

  He nods. “Yeah. I um . . .” He looks sick.

  You couldn’t ask him who it was that he fucked, but you could ask him if he wore a rubber?”

  I told him it was like it didn’t happen then. If he used a condom, then it didn’t happen.”

  My jaw drops in shock as I look at him, clutching my stomach again. “You encouraged him not to tell me?”

  “I knew you would end it if he did.”

  I would have. Without a doubt. No matter how much I loved him, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive him for that. “So, you wanted me with him?” I grasp my waist even tighter. I thought we were wrapped up in some sort of unrequited love story . . . or at least attraction . . . But no. He told my boyfriend not to tell me he was a cheater. To k
eep us together.

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is.” I search his eyes, trying to find the guy from these last few weeks.

  I’m a fool. He just wanted a fuck. Something to pass the time.

  I mean, that’s what we said it was from the beginning. Why am I so surprised?

  “You told him not to tell me.”

  “I didn’t want to see him lose you. Fuck, Everly. He was . . .”

  I interrupt him quickly. Not wanting to hear who Liam was to him. And how I was no one. “Your best friend. I got it. I know.”

  “You don’t know.” He covers his heart with his hand. “I watched you two together forever. I know he loved you. I couldn’t stand seeing him hurt. Seeing you hurt.”

  I shake my head from side to side and then stop, looking straight into his eyes. “You didn’t want the trip to be cancelled.”

  “What?”

  I’m such a goddamn idiot.

  “You didn’t want the trip canceled. You wanted to make sure that you got to bring Aria to your cabin. To finally get into her pants.” He steps toward me, reaching for my hand, but I jerk it away and step back. “Don’t.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Of course, it is. If he told me he cheated, we wouldn’t have gone. You and Aria wouldn’t have had your little vacation.” I step back again. “You wanted her. And then when they died . . . you fucking lied to me. Couldn’t have me all depressed. Too depressed to fuck.”

  “Everly.” His look is horrified and haunted, but he doesn’t argue.

  “Leave me alone.”

  I turn, grabbing a lamp and leaving the living room. “Everly.”

  I hear him calling behind me, but I don’t turn back. I want nothing to do with him.

  I was a fool. A complete fool.

  Clearly, I have terrible taste in men.

  I let her have a moment because I know she needs it. My chest aches, and I feel like I might actually fucking die. The way she looked at me. Like I betrayed her worse than Liam did. It might actually kill me.

  I walk back toward the bedroom and find her on the floor, huddled up in the corner with a kerosene lamp. “Leave me alone.”

  “I can’t.” I walk into the room and kneel before her. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  Maybe I shouldn’t have told her, but everything I said was true. Somewhere along the line, my loyalty shifted. And not just because Liam is dead, but because she deserved to know. But fuck if I don’t feel guilty for betraying my best friend.

  Because that’s who Liam was. He was always there for me my entire life, and now I’ve told his biggest secret. It makes him look like a shitty boyfriend, when in fact, right up till the day he cheated, he was a great boyfriend.

  I know. I watched from afar as he doted on her. He loved her. Whether she can believe that now, I know he did. She was everything.

  And I hate that I didn’t ask him for more details. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know any more than I did.

  “Everly, it’s too cold in here. Please come back to the living room.”

  She looks directly at me, and I see the tears falling down her cheeks, which guts me. “I don’t want to be around you. You lied to me.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You’re not though. You’d do it again, right?”

  I don’t know. I honestly don’t. I don’t ever want to see that look on her face again. The look of utter betrayal. “I don’t know.”

  “Right. I was right about you all along. You’re selfish. Just a playboy that wants his way.”

  She’s angry. And she has a right to be. “Come back to the living room.”

  “No.”

  “Go and I’ll stay in here.”

  She shakes her head and a stoic coldness washes over her beautiful face as she wipes away the tears. “I’m not even that mad at you.” She shrugs. “At least I shouldn’t be.” Where is she going with this? “I knew exactly what this was with you.”

  I stand as does she, and we’re merely a few feet apart, the lamp still on the floor. “And what is that?”

  “A fuck. Duh. Something to do while we pass the time here.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  She waves me off. and how it doesn’t destroy her to say that is beyond me because it fucking disintegrates me. “He was your friend. Not me. I was just your friend’s girlfriend.” She laughs, but it’s not her real laugh. “And your girlfriend’s big sister.”

  “That’s not true.”

  Again, she waves me off. “It is true. And your loyalty should have been to your buddy. I’m not mad.”

  She is.

  She laughs again, but it’s accompanied by a sob. “I mean, just because we had sex, I expected you to fucking care. How girly of me.”

  “Don’t say that. That’s not why.” I move toward her, brushing her cheek with my fingers, but she shoves my hand away.

  “Don’t touch me. This between us,” she motions between our bodies, “it’s over. We’re going to have to figure out other ways to entertain ourselves.”

  “That’s not what this is.”

  She stands a little taller, glaring into my eyes. “That’s exactly what this was. Two people scared and stuck in the middle of nowhere. Anyone would end up fucking.”

  I hate that she’s cheapening everything that’s happened between us. I told her things I’ve never told anyone. Not even Liam. She knows more about me than anyone, but she’s acting like it was only out of boredom that she let me inside her.

  “Please come back.”

  “I don’t want to talk.”

  I nod my head in agreement. “That’s fine.”

  “I definitely don’t want to fuck.”

  I swallow hard, not because I’m not going to get laid, but because she thinks I’m actually thinking about that right now when I’m losing her. I’m losing everything I had yesterday which to me was the world.

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  “Fine.”

  I grab the lamp off the floor, and we go back to the couch where I lie down, and she takes the other side, curling into the back of the couch.

  I stare at the fireplace and wonder why the fuck I had to open my mouth. Not because I want to keep fucking her—I mean I do, but it’s more than that. I hate the silence.

  Will she ever forgive me?

  I feel empty. Everything I thought I knew was a total lie. I’ve been awake and staring at the ceiling for at least an hour now and occasionally staring at the other side of the couch that’s now empty. I’m not sure where Cooper is, but I don’t have the energy to look for him.

  I meant what I said to him last night. I shouldn’t be mad at him. He really was Liam’s best friend. Of course, his loyalty was to him. But for some reason, him not telling me is somehow worse than Liam cheating on me.

  And I don’t have the energy to explore that.

  I was so damn happy.

  Now, I’m nothing.

  “Everly!” I’m startled by Cooper as he pushes through the front door, yelling.

  “What?” I stand up from the couch as he points behind him, not closing the door.

  “A truck.”

  “What?” I quickly walk to the front door and see a truck parking in front of the house. “Oh my God.”

  I tug on a pair of boots as he walks outside. My heart is pounding as I join him and see a middle-aged couple, climbing out of the truck and looking at us in shock.

  “Hello,” the woman says cautiously.

  “Oh my God.” I can’t believe someone is here. I walk down the stairs toward them. “Is this your house?”

  The man is quiet and comes to stand next to his wife in a protective stance. “Her father’s.”

  I nod my head stupidly as Cooper walks next to me. “We’re so sorry for intruding.”

  My heart is still racing as my eyes focus on the woman. The man is large and a little intimidating. “We were in a wreck. We had no service and didn’t know what to
do. We stumbled upon the house . . .”

  “That was your car?”

  My heart is now lodged in my throat. They found the car? Does that meant they found Liam and Aria? I nod. “Did you find it?”

  She shakes her head sadly. “The authorities did a few days ago. That must make you Cooper and Everly?”

  I nod again. “They found Liam and Aria?” It’s not really a question. If they have our names, they must know we were the two missing.

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  Tears spring to my eyes, but I don’t let them fall. “I’m sorry that we barged into your father’s home. We just . . .”

  “We were going to freeze to death,” Cooper finishes, and the woman looks at him with kind eyes.

  “I’m glad that his house could keep you safe.” She smiles sadly. “He would have been so happy about that.”

  The man wraps an arm around her shoulder and hugs her close, looking at us. “Her father passed away six months ago. We were getting the house ready for sale when we saw a blizzard was coming and decided to wait until it cleared.”

  I nod my head, looking around at the white snow that’s finally starting to melt. The snow yesterday didn’t add much, and it’s actually sunny today and I’d say above freezing. “We used a lot of the firewood. And the canned food.”

  She smiles at that. “My mother passed away a year ago. He was so lonely that he pretty much spent the rest of his days staying busy. Cutting firewood and canning. He would be so happy that it didn’t go to waste.”

  I smile at that too, thankful that she doesn’t seem mad. “We can pay for it.”

  She waves that off. “Would you guys like a ride into town?”

  We both nod quickly and thank them profusely. We go inside and quickly gather our things, tossing it all into the back of the truck. I look back at the rundown old house that kept us alive for over three weeks.

  My heart aches.

  Only a day ago, I’d have left with a sad smile but with good memories despite the horrific circumstances. But now, looking at the house, all I see is a lie.

  We ride in the truck with the couple, listening to stories of the elderly couple whose home we were living in until we reach the police station.

  After explaining who we are, we’re taken to the local hospital for them to examine us, and then we’re left in a room to wait.