Stranded

by Nicole Dykes

  She winces again at the bite in my tone, but her face remains serious as she lifts her chin. “Don’t ever doubt it. Your father is a lot of things, and I know he wasn’t great for you, but he loved her. When she died, it broke him, Cooper.”

  I hate the affection she has for my father. It pisses me off for Jim and for Liam. And for me. Everything feels like a fucking lie.

  Every-fucking-thing.

  “He fucked someone else while she was pregnant. And hey, without a condom. Nice.”

  She takes a deep breath. “Not everything is black and white, Cooper. We made a mistake out of grief, but it led to Liam. And I can’t and won’t ever regret that.”

  “Grief?”

  “When your mother kicked him out, he thought he’d lost the greatest love of his life. He was distraught. Completely. And I was lonely.”

  I scrub my hand over the scruff on my jaw, thinking about being at the house with Everly, alone, and her thinking we got lost in grief.

  I stand up from my chair. “No, goddammit. No. You don’t just get to blame it on that. There had to be something there. A spark or something.”

  She’s eyeing me with suspicion now, and I don’t like how vulnerable it feels. “We were friends, but neither of us wanted anything more than that, before or after.”

  “It was just that, then? Grief and loneliness?”

  She nods her head, still studying me. “For us. Yes.”

  My gut only tightens, and I don’t know if I’m angrier about that or the years of lies. But then I think about my best friend, and my eyes dart to his mother. “Did he know?”

  She gulps and then nods her head sadly as tears fall again. “Yes. I told him about a month before he died.”

  My eyes widen. He knew. He fucking knew, and he didn’t tell me.

  “He didn’t tell me.”

  She stands up and walks to the chair closer to me, sitting next to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. “He was upset. Very. Very upset. I’m sure he didn’t want you to feel that way.”

  I shake my head from side to side in disbelief. How could he keep that from me? We lived together. “He should have told me. He could have.”

  She nods. “He was upset. And angry.” She sobs now, covering her mouth before lowering her hand. “I don’t regret what brought him here, but if I could take back telling him about it, I would.”

  “So then, why tell me?”

  “Because you need to forgive yourself, Cooper. You held us on this pedestal since I’ve known you, but we’re all flawed. All of us. You need to know that.”

  She brushes a hand over my cheek, and I choke back tears. “Fuck.”

  She flinches but then sighs, nodding her head. “He lost himself when I told him the truth. But right before he died, it seemed like he’d forgiven me. He told me Jim would always be his father.”

  “He was his father.”

  She nods in agreement. “The night I told him . . .” I look up into her eyes that are full of guilt, and it clicks.

  “He cheated.”

  She looks away for a moment and then nods. “He didn’t want it to be an excuse. But he told me—well, screamed at me—that he had gotten so drunk he cheated on the love of his life with a stranger.”

  Fuck, Liam. I look up at the ceiling, thinking he can somehow hear me when I do that. Why didn’t you fucking talk to me?

  “I still don’t know how he could do that.”

  “I feel horrible about it. I know I set off a chain of events a long, long time ago. But now, I realize we’re all imperfect.”

  I stand up. “I have to go.”

  She nods and cries. I can’t take it. I place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “What he did was on him. And you made a mistake. They happen. I just need time with this.”

  She stands and hugs me. “He would want you to be happy. He was your brother, even if you didn’t know it until now, and he didn’t know it for a long time. You were always brothers.”

  The guilt only worsens, but I hug her tight and say my goodbyes before driving away.

  And right to the one person I shouldn’t.

  Because he was my brother, and I’m in love with the woman he loved.

  “Coop?”

  He’s standing outside my door, looking so damn distraught I don’t know what to do. I want to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. “He was my brother.”

  It’s late on the Fourth of July, but like a loser, I was home at my apartment . . . thinking about him.

  “Who? Liam?” He runs his fingers through his hair, looking so damn lost. “I know he was.”

  “No.” He shakes his head from side to side. “No, he was my brother.”

  Has he been drinking? I don’t think so. I sigh, assuming the guilt has really gotten to him. Maybe because this was Liam’s favorite holiday? “I know he was. It’s okay, Cooper.”

  His hand goes over his heart, and I notice his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. “No. Ev. He was my blood brother. We had the same fucking father.”

  I gape at him, and now I’m the one shaking my head. “That’s not true. His father is James.”

  He laughs, but in a humorless way. “Yeah. He had the greatest fucking father, but they didn’t share blood because my goddamn father had to stick his dick where it didn’t belong.”

  I’m in shock as I stand there, staring at him and trying to process his words. “What? How is that even . . .”

  “His mom fucked my father when my mom was pregnant with me. We were actually brothers, Ev, and I didn’t know.”

  This time, I do wrap my arms around his waist and pull his body into mine. “Are you sure?”

  I feel his hands wrap around me, and he holds me tight. “Yeah, she just told me.”

  I look up into his eyes as he brings his hands to my face, holding my gaze. I try to let this information sink in while we stand in the doorway of my apartment. “Did he know?”

  He nods his head slowly, his fingers sliding through my hair as he holds me there. “Yeah. She told him about a month before he died.”

  A month. My eyes widen as they remain locked on his, and he watches the realization flood through me. “When he cheated?”

  He nods. “He was pissed. Rightfully so. But he still didn’t have the right to hurt you.”

  “I knew something was wrong. Something felt off. I think I knew the moment he was unfaithful. But I let myself get caught up in everything else.”

  “I’m so damn sorry, Everly. For everything.”

  I shake my head and hold him closer to me. “No. You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. He didn’t tell you . . .”

  He offers me a weak smile. “Hey, now I know what it’s like for him to have not told me something.”

  He’s hurting so damn bad, and I don’t want him to. “Get in here.” I pull him in with me and close the door behind us. We move to sit together on the couch, his arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Cooper.”

  “What are you sorry for?”

  I lift my head to look up at him. “Everything. Every single thing. For being such a bitch to you. For pushing you away. For Liam betraying you. For your father lying to you.” I turn my body so I can face him, reaching up and cupping his cheek. “You’re the strong one. And I’m so sorry for being so fucking weak.”

  “You’re anything but weak.”

  “It’s not true.” I hold his gaze. Tortured as it may be, it’s still beautiful. He’s beautiful. “I told myself that my fantasizing about kissing you was normal, that you were like a piece of meat or something. And that it was normal for people to fantasize. I told myself I hated you, and that it would only be sex between us if anything did happen.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Ev.” His voice nearly cracks, and I smile, holding onto his face and forcing myself to go on. “But it was all bullshit. Because when you would come home and tell us about you getting an A or an award, I would feel this insane feeling of pride and so happy for you. And then I would lash out
like a bitch.”

  “You’re not a bitch.”

  I smile. “Always protecting me.”

  “I love you.”

  I jolt from his words, but neither of us move. We don’t run. “I love you too.”

  He studies me for a moment and then raises an eyebrow in suspicion. “You told me to date other people.”

  “I did.”

  “Why?”

  My heart aches. “Because I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know if we did this,” I drop my hand down to cover his heart, “that it would be forever. And so we wouldn’t wake up in a year or ten and blame it on a fluke. On grief.”

  Something flashes in his eyes, and his hand covers mine on his chest. “No. It wasn’t that. They may have fucked because of grief and loneliness, but not us.”

  “Who?” And then, understanding comes. “Oh. That’s why they . . .”

  “She said Jim was always on the road, and she was lonely. And my dad thought he’d lost my mom, but it doesn’t matter. Maybe that’s their truth, but I’ve loved you for years. Long before that fucking wreck. It wasn’t grief or being afraid. It was finally getting to have you.”

  “I’ll always hate myself a little for admitting this out loud, but I wanted you too. It wasn’t any of that for me either. I missed Liam. I thought I would die from the pain of losing Aria, but when I was with you . . .” I lean forward and brush my lips over his. “It was because I wanted you.”

  “I think we’ll always feel guilty, but we have to stop punishing ourselves. I want you, Everly. I don’t want anyone else.”

  I smile, my heart soaring at his words as I climb onto his lap and meet his lips with mine, kissing him softly. “I love you, and I want you. I’m sorry Liam didn’t tell you about you being brothers . . . But I think I understand.”

  “Why? He could tell me anything.”

  I rest my hands on his shoulders and pull back to look into his eyes. “He didn’t want you to be in pain. Just like you wanting me but not doing anything about it because you couldn’t stand for him to be in pain. You two were brothers, through and through, without even knowing you shared blood.”

  “Fuck, Ev,” He breathes, and I cup his face with both hands, pulling his mouth to mine and kissing him with every ounce of passion I feel.

  Because I’m in love with Cooper, and I’m not fighting it anymore.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Everly smiles down at me as she straddles my waist in our bed. We’ve been together since that night, months ago in her apartment. When I told her about Liam being my brother, I knew I could either wallow in guilt and anger or finally go after what I wanted.

  Thankfully, she was on the same page.

  She turns and looks out the window, her hair falling over her chest. She’s wearing my shirt like she does most nights. “It’s snowing. I hate the fucking snow.”

  I laugh. “Oh, come on. We have fond memories of the snow.”

  She returns her gaze to me, glaring playfully. “No. I hate the snow.” She rolls off me and lies next to me. My dick, having perked up when she climbed on top of me, misses her instantly. “I prefer fucking in our warm house that I didn’t have to make warm with a fire, only the thermostat.”

  I chuckle at that. We moved into this house we’re renting together about a month after we finally got it together. I couldn’t take living in the house I shared with Liam any longer, and we were just ready.

  As bad as everything was before, it’s that good now. I flip over so I’m hovering over her body, my arms holding my weight off her. “I do like that.” My fingers trail over her faint scar from the wreck that changed our lives, and then my lips slide down over the smooth skin of her neck. “But let’s be honest, I’d fuck you anywhere.”

  “So romantic.” I feel her smiling with my face buried in her neck as my hand trails down, pulling her shirt up and smiling when I find she didn’t put her panties back on last night.

  “I’m very fucking romantic.” I push my sweats down over my ass and slide between her legs, groaning when I find she’s already wet for me before I thrust inside her. Her back arches as she pulls me in for a kiss.

  “Very,” she groans, moving her hips with mine, her body responding to our rhythm. Her teeth nip along my jaw as I move in and out of her, her body accepting each punishing thrust. “We need to hurry. I have a final this morning.”

  I grin, finding her clit with my thumb and pulling a moan from her. “I can do that. Can you?”

  “Yes,” she gasps, her back arching into me. “Like that.”

  “I can’t come til you do. You know the deal.” She smiles as I pound into her, stroking her clit. We’ve become pretty good at quickies in the morning before we start our day, and it doesn’t take long before she’s panting and grasping my hair with her fingers. Her pussy squeezes the life out of my cock before I spill inside her.

  I fall onto her small body, resting on one arm as I smile, looking down into her eyes. “Fuck.”

  She smiles. “Yup. And now I have to go out into that gross shit.”

  I chuckle. She really fucking hates the snow. I roll off her and grab my phone. “This is your last final right?”

  She nods, standing up and stretching her arms over her head, making my shirt ride up her thighs. “Yes.”

  “Good. You wanna go away for Christmas break?”

  She tilts her head to the side and looks at me like I’m insane as she sits back down on the bed. “Are you fucking crazy?”

  God, I love this woman.

  “I was thinking about getting a car . . .”

  “Cooper fucking Kingston, I swear I will kill you.”

  I grin and show her the picture on my phone. “A car to take us to the airport so we can get the fuck out of the cold.” She looks at the picture of the beach house I rented for three weeks. “Three weeks. Sun and sand. Warmth. No chance of a blizzard.”

  She’s smiling big now. “When do we leave?”

  “Tomorrow morning.”

  “Yes!” She lays back on the bed, tucking her head into my shoulder. “I’m ready. That sounds amazing.” She flicks through the pictures on my phone. “Wow. You really do know me well, huh?”

  I smile and kiss the top of her head. “Well, you keep me guessing. I’m never going to just assume I know everything about you.”

  “Probably smart.”

  She hands my phone back to me, flipping on her stomach to look up at me. “Thank you.”

  “For the record, you’re the only person I don’t mind being stranded with. And I’d do it again and again if I had to.”

  She kisses my lips softly. “So would I, but I wouldn’t like it.”

  I laugh, but it dies quickly. “I talked to Liam’s mom yesterday.”

  “What?” She stiffens but doesn’t pull away from me.

  “I’m not ashamed of us being together, Ev. I want everyone to know, including her.”

  She looks worried as she nibbles on her bottom lip. “What did she say.”

  I smile and brush my hand over her hair. “What I thought she would. That she’s happy for us. And that we should come to Christmas dinner.”

  She seems relieved, releasing a puff of air. “Did you tell her you were whisking me away.”

  “Yeah, and I thought she was going to have a heart attack until I assured her we weren’t driving anywhere and it was somewhere warm.”

  “I’m glad she knows.” Everly kisses me again. “I’m not ashamed of us either.”

  Our friends were surprisingly accepting when we told them. And Courtney and Caleb are our frequent double dates.

  I smack her ass playfully. “You have a final.”

  She grumbles, “Why the hell does an evening class schedule a final for the morning? Huh? Explain that to me.”

  Same ole Everly.

  “Get your ass up. I’ll go make you breakfast while you’re in the shower.”

  “Pop tarts don’t count as breakfast,” she says as she heads for the bathroom.

/>   “They sure the fuck do,” I holler back as I go into the kitchen before my whipped-as-fuck ass makes us bacon, eggs, and toast.

  She has a final. She needs some protein.

  I still feel a pang of guilt sometimes being this damn happy, but I honestly believe Liam would want that. Deep down.

  I smile as I make breakfast.

  Still. I know that even if he wasn’t, there’s nothing that would keep me away from her now that I finally have her.

  “Okay this is perfect.” Cooper gives me that knowing smile as he hands me a cup of coffee and we look out at the ocean from the bedroom of the beach house he rented.

  Finals are over a year after the biggest tragedy of our lives and we’re on an actual vacation. To say I was nervous about the plane crashing would be an understatement, but so far, so good.

  I don’t think either of us are going to live our lives in fear anymore.

  Maybe we both still feel a pinch of guilt here and there, but we love each other. There’s no denying it. Whether the time in that house forced us together or not, our love is real. And I feel it profoundly every second I’m with him.

  “It’s beautiful. Can’t we stay here forever?”

  His stubbled cheek brushes against mine as he wraps his arms around me. “You have one more semester left.”

  I grumble, taking a drink of my coffee. “And then you have med school.”

  I can feel him smiling, something he does often now. “And then I have med school. But when I’m a rich doctor and your flower shop is doing really well, hell yeah, we can.”

  He has such an optimistic outlook these days, and I suppose I do now too. I definitely find myself smiling more often. “I can’t wait. And don’t start with the flower shop thing.”

  “Oh, it’s going to happen.” He’s so damn cocky. But I think my telling him I wanted to be a florist was really telling of how much I cared about him. How much I trusted him. Too bad I was too grief-stricken and blind to see it sooner, but we’re together now. “I told you I’d gladly fund it.”

  “It takes a long time for doctors to start making money, you know?”

  I place my coffee on a table nearby and spin in his arms so I’m facing him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he says, “Good thing your doctor is also a super spoiled trust fund kid.”