When Least Expected

by Allison B Hanson

  “I’m staying here,” she promised, touched that he cared. So stupid.

  “Okay. Good. Don’t drink so much that you get sick. Kel isn’t good at helping people when they vomit.”

  “Yes, I am!” Kelly said.

  “No, you’re not,” Ian and Lexi said at the same time.

  Lexi laughed and got a small smile out of Ian. Not his normal smile, but it was so much better than the frown she thought had become permanent on his handsome face. She sighed longingly. Why did he have to be so goddamned handsome? Why did he have to leave?

  Ian and Meeghan started walking out of the kitchen. Before they got to the back door, she and Kelly heard Meeghan complaining to Ian. “Your sister has never invited me to her house for drinks. Why would she invite the old wife and not me?”

  Lexi and Kelly burst out laughing and then finished off the pitcher.

  Meeghan wouldn’t let up as they pulled away from his sister’s house.

  “I don’t know what I have to do to get your sister to like me,” she said, almost in tears. “I would love to hang out and drink margaritas with her.”

  “I know. It’s just that Lex and Kelly have been friends for a long time.”

  “And why do you still call her your cutsie name? You need to drop it.”

  “Lex?” Ian didn’t see how it could be offensive, but he had to admit this girl was quite difficult to figure out. Lex had been an open book compared to Meeghan. Not that he compared. Often.

  “Yeah. Lex,” she mumbled, making the name into two syllables.

  “It’s just a shorter version of her name. It’s not cutsie,” he pointed out. Was he really having this conversation?

  “It is! Why don’t I have a nickname?” she pushed.

  He sighed, trying to come up with something.

  “Like Mee?” As he said it, he knew he couldn’t call her that any more than he could call her Ghan. There was no short, cutsie name for Meeghan.

  “Just forget it. Let’s go home and have sex,” she ordered.

  “Really?” he said, looking at the clock. “You seem kind of pissed.”

  “It would help if we had sex so I felt close to you right now.”

  As they got closer to his place, the feeling of dread became almost unbearable. He couldn’t do it.

  He couldn’t have sex with her so she’d stay with him and he wouldn’t be alone. People were capable of being alone and surviving it. He just needed to figure out how to do it.

  At the last minute he turned onto her street and parked in front of her building.

  “What are we doing here?” she asked.

  “We need to talk.” It was stupid, but he felt guilty saying these ominous words. Not because of the look on Meeghan’s face but because he hadn’t even given Lexi the opportunity. He’d simply run away and never looked back.

  “No.” She shook her head quickly.

  “No? You can’t say no.”

  “Yes, I can. You’re about to make a big mistake because you feel vulnerable. It’s normal. Before I dropped out of college, I learned all about how older men deal with death. They begin to look at their own lives and the things they’ve yet to accomplish and they start to panic.”

  “Older? I’m thirty!”

  “And you’re freaking out.”

  “I am not. I’m just thinking that I rushed into this thing with you, and I need some time.”

  “You need time?” she repeated with a sigh.

  “Yes.”

  “Fine. I’m secure enough in our relationship to give you the time you need to get past this fear of dying.” She did sound secure, which was strange because she had been so insecure about everything up to that point.

  “Uh. Thanks.” He gave up rather than arguing that he didn’t have a fear of dying. He thought maybe he had more of a fear of living . . . alone.

  “Let me know when you’re back to your old self.”

  “I’m not old!” he protested again as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

  “It’s an expression,” she said with a laugh and got out of his car.

  As he drove back to his apartment, he realized he wasn’t going to miss Meeghan that much. However, he still missed the woman in his sister’s kitchen with the drunken giggles.

  God help him.

  Dalton was home when he pulled in. He was the owner of the house where Ian rented. Dalton was a pretty cool guy, though he was rarely home. He traveled a lot for work, and when he wasn’t traveling, he practically lived in his office downtown. Occasionally when he was home they’d have a drink.

  Ian grabbed two beers and tapped on his neighbor’s door.

  Dalton opened the door looking like hell.

  “Beer?” Ian said, holding one up.

  “Sure.” Dalton’s voice was stuffy and his nose was red.

  “Cold?”

  “Yeah. Fucking Vermont.”

  “It’s still cold up there?” Ian said with a laugh as he came in.

  “I think it’s cold up there until July, and then it starts getting cold again in August.” He shook his head and twisted off the cap. “What’s going on with you?”

  “My favorite uncle died.” He took a long sip of beer before continuing. “I broke up with my girlfriend and I just saw my ex-wife and realized I still miss her.”

  “Hold on.” Dalton got up and went into the kitchen. He reappeared with a bottle of Wild Turkey and two glasses. “Beer’s not going to cut it. You sound like a damn country song.” He held a glass of amber liquid out to Ian and he took it, knowing full well it wouldn’t help.

  “It’s good you didn’t let that little girl move in with you. The problem is, once you let them move in, they own you,” he said. “They know you won’t kick them out because guys do whatever’s easiest.”

  “Why does everyone call her that?” Ian asked.

  “She sounds like she sucked down a helium balloon,” he explained. Ian could only nod. It was true. “That must have been kind of creepy when you were banging her.”

  “It was.”

  “You need to get back on the horse. Maybe my sister knows someone.”

  “That’s just it. I don’t think I should get back on the horse. I’ve been on the horse for a long time. I think I need to be alone, but . . .”

  “Alone sucks.”

  “It does? You seem to like it.”

  “It’s easy. Did you not hear my speech about how guys do the easy thing?” Dalton laughed.

  “Yeah. I think I did the easy thing when I left my wife.”

  “Easy isn’t always better.” Dalton sounded almost profound until he blew his nose.

  Despite having suffered a terrible hangover that had her swearing she’d never drink again, Alexis went out with Roslyn on Saturday night, though she stuck to one glass of wine this time.

  A nice-looking man came up and started chatting. “You seem like a normal person,” he said with a smile. She couldn’t help but laugh at his pickup line. She hadn’t spent much time on the dating scene, but she knew this was inventive at least.

  “Yes. Normal.”

  “No psychological issues? Stalking charges pending?” He leaned a little closer, and she noticed he smelled good. Not as good as the Versace Man Lexi had bought Ian for his birthday, but still nice.

  “No. The Virginia Department of Education would probably take issue with that and I’d lose my job.”

  “Good enough for me.” He took a sip of his beer and winked at her. “I’m normal, too, by the way.” Right. She shouldn’t have shown an interest in him. She had no intention of taking it any further than chitchat while Roslyn was outside on the phone with Cooper.

  She could tell right away it would be like it had been with every other nice guy she’d met since the divorce. When they got to the part about her giving him her number so they could make plans to go out, she looked at the floor and winced.

  “See, the thing is I just got through a divorce. I’m going to need a little more time before I’m
ready to move on.”

  “Of course. I’ll give you my number and you can let me know,” he said with a compassionate smile. He seemed so nice. Why couldn’t she just go out with him? Move on?

  “Okay.” She took his number, hoping someday she’d have the courage to call. Roslyn came back, and they watched the view as he walked away. Not bad, but not Ian either. Damn it. Would she always compare everyone to Ian?

  “At some point you’re no longer going to be able to use that as an excuse,” Roz said.

  “Why not? It’s not like they ask to see the documentation to prove when I got divorced. Besides, six months is still just getting through a divorce.”

  “As long as you know you’re going to have to do something eventually.”

  “I do. I do.” She didn’t.

  “Some guy is going to have to come next. Just sleep with someone and get it over with. It would be easier.”

  “I don’t think so. And can I just say it scares me a little that you give life advice to children.”

  “Please. Their problems are so much easier than our problems.”

  “Really? What problems are you having, Roz?”

  “I didn’t mean me.”

  “Right.” Roslyn never had guy problems anymore. Before Roslyn met her fiancé she talked a mean game about meeting guys and sleeping around, but Lexi never saw any evidence of it. She was always very secretive about her love life. Riley and Lexi sometimes joked that she was a dom for some Web site. To which Roz usually replied, “Shut up, bitches or I’ll get my whip out.” These days she was normally the pleasant bride-to-be.

  On Sunday evening Lexi’s phone rang as she was finishing up the dishes. Dishes for one person.

  Ian again.

  “Hello?” she said, fully expecting him to have butt dialed her from the other day.

  “Hey.” His greeting surprised her, and she nearly dropped the phone because her hands were wet.

  “Hi. What’s up?”

  “They started going through the estate,” he said. She could hear the pain underlying the words.

  “Oh. Right.” She hadn’t thought about that at all. It surely wasn’t any of her business.

  “Uncle Jimmy left something for both of us. The attorney for the estate asked if we could come in together. I set it up for tomorrow when you’re done with school, but if that won’t work, I can change it to anytime that’s more convenient for you.” Ian worked from home as a Web designer and programmer so it was easy for him to set things up around her work schedule.

  “Um, are you sure I need to go? I mean . . .”

  “The lawyer says you need to be there because it specifically names you personally, not me and my . . . wife.” He hesitated on the last word.

  “Okay. Tomorrow will be fine. Where is it?” He gave her directions to the office even though she knew where she was going. She wanted to hear his voice a little while longer. How pathetic.

  “So I’ll see you there tomorrow at four,” he said.

  “Yes. Four. Bye.”

  After she made sure the phone was disconnected, she turned to the empty kitchen. “What are you up to, Uncle Jimmy?” she said to no one.

  Chapter 3

  “Why are you here?” Ian said to himself as he looked up at the building where his ex-wife worked. “This is such a bad idea. Don’t do it.” Even as he said it, he walked inside the high school and went down the hall toward her office.

  The door was open, and a teenage girl was standing in the doorway.

  “Thank you again, Mrs. Montgomery. I really appreciate your time.” The distraught girl nearly ran into Ian as she turned to leave.

  Lexi caught him there, and her eyes widened as she quickly glanced up at the clock, which was clearly telling her it was only three twenty and she wasn’t late. He looked like a stalker.

  He was a stalker.

  “Mrs. Montgomery,” he said with a smirk. Hearing Lexi referred to by such a formal title still amused him.

  She looked down at the desk quickly. He watched her chest rise and fall rapidly as she swallowed. It looked like someone had stabbed her through the heart with a knife. He instinctively took a step closer.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can change it in the fall. It’s easier for the students to get used to a new name at the start of the school year,” she explained, as he realized he was the one who had stabbed her through the heart.

  “Oh! No! I–I–It’s fine, Lex. I don’t care.” He didn’t care? Of course he cared. He liked that she still had his last name. How was it possible that he could cause this woman more pain? Hadn’t he unleashed enough unhappiness on her by now? Apparently, he needed to track her down where she worked, where she tried to move on with her life, and ruin that, too.

  “I’m sorry, Lex. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I gave you that name freely; what you do with it is your business. Whatever is easiest for you. I really don’t mind at all.”

  She swallowed and gave him a little nod.

  “Am I late?” she asked the next logical question.

  “No. I had an earlier meeting on this side of town and I didn’t want to drive home before our meeting so I was just wandering around.”

  “And you ended up here?” she asked incredulously while looking around her small office.

  It was a surprise to him, too, but he couldn’t say that. Instead, he shrugged it off. “Go figure,” he said. “Did you want to grab a drink?”

  “Hmm.” She put her index finger on her chin. “Meeting with a lawyer? I might want to have my wits about me,” she decided with an easy smile.

  That smile made his stomach flip. He hadn’t seen it in God knows how long, but it still caused the same reaction as it had when he first met her.

  “Ice cream?” He came up with an offer she couldn’t refuse. She was a sucker for ice cream.

  She bit her lip and looked around her office. She was wavering. He could see it. He almost had her.

  She shook her head.

  “No. I’d better not.” She glanced down at herself.

  Did she mean she was watching her weight? That couldn’t be. She was thinner than she had been when they were married. Actually, too thin for his liking. Now he felt like he should hold her down and force the ice cream down her throat.

  That wouldn’t be good.

  “Did you walk over here?” she asked.

  “Yeah.” It wasn’t far, four blocks. Nothing compared to the five miles he ran every day to stay in shape. Surely she wasn’t worried about him overexerting himself.

  She nodded at a bouquet of flowers on her windowsill. For a second something in him flared. Unjustified jealousy. Who had gotten his wife flowers? He swallowed it down. He had no right. She deserved to be happy with whomever she wanted. He wouldn’t begrudge her any happiness with anyone. Ever.

  “I picked those from the garden this morning to take to the cemetery. You’re welcome to ride along if you’d like.” She paused. “Or I could meet you later at the office. Or drop you off and come back.” She took a deep breath. “I was planning to take these to Jimmy’s grave. You’re welcome to come along,” she repeated.

  He hated the uncertainty in her eyes. However, on a more selfish note, he was elated to find out the flowers weren’t from a potential suitor. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t capable of being selfless enough to handle another guy touching her. He would definitely need to work on that.

  “I would like to go with you to the cemetery,” he said to end his internal debate. He picked up the flowers to carry them as she collected her things. “What are these things again?” He pointed at the flowers. He knew they were Jimmy’s favorite. Jimmy had some at his house and was always giving them plants for their house. He frowned, remembering it was no longer their house.

  “Narcissus. Jimmy liked them because they’re one of the first flowers to bloom in the spring.”

  “Right. They’re related to daffodils?” She nodded as she followed him out of the office. Her fri
end Roslyn was watching by the door with wide eyes as they walked by. “Hey, Roslyn,” he said.

  “Hey, yourself,” she said with an attitude. That was fine. He deserved the attitude.

  Lexi opened the car door with the remote and Ian got in the passenger side holding the flowers. The smell of her perfume in the car was overwhelming. Flashes of them together played behind his eyelids and he blinked to push them away.

  “Did you get the oil changed?” he asked, because that had always been his duty.

  “Yes.” She squinted at the sticker in the corner of the window and pointed. “It’s good until next month.”

  “Good.” He nodded, looking down at the flowers, feeling completely useless. He couldn’t give her a baby, she didn’t need him to remind her of oil changes—at least he could hold these flowers so they didn’t spill. It was something.

  They were silent at Jimmy’s grave. It almost seemed like she would have said something if he hadn’t been there, but he wasn’t willing to walk away. He had an excuse to be next to her, and he was going to use it to its fullest potential.

  “Miss you,” she whispered and wiped at her eyes before she turned to go back to the car. His arms reached out for her without his brain being involved. He pulled her against him and just held on.

  Her body was stiff against his for a moment, but slowly she relaxed against him as she cried harder. He pulled her closer and allowed a few of his own tears to fall as he smelled her hair.

  Jimmy had meant a lot to them, but for Lexi he was more than just her husband’s uncle.

  Ian had met Lexi when he was a senior in college and she was a junior.

  She had never had a normal family. Her father had cheated on her mother when Lexi was ten . . . with her best friend’s mother. When her dad moved away, he took Lexi’s friend with him to start their new family, one Alexis was never a part of. Instead, she stayed with her mother, who became bitter and hated all men. According to her, they were all cheaters who would use the best years of her life and leave her alone with nothing but pain.

  And yet, the summer of Alexis’s junior year, her mother married a drunk who put his hands on Alexis. Without thinking about what he was doing, Ian and Uncle Jimmy drove across Virginia to go get her and bring her home to Roanoke.