When Least Expected

by Allison B Hanson

  He would never get over her.

  That last punch to the stomach was something his mind and his heart seemed to agree on. He swallowed and took a few deep breaths.

  He recognized this fear. He hated being alone. It was the reason he’d gotten involved with Meeghan before he was ready. He would not run to Lexi just because he hated being alone.

  He needed to get his shit together. It wasn’t fair to Lexi to be with her because he hated being lonely. She had suggested he needed to talk to someone. It sure wouldn’t be the first time Lexi was right.

  Somehow he continued on.

  He was relieved to see Dalton’s truck in the driveway.

  After tossing his bag in his living room, he grabbed two beers and headed to the front of the house.

  Dalton was already opening the door.

  “How did it go?” he asked. Ian had told Dalton about the trip and knew he had been worried.

  “To say it was not what I expected would be a huge understatement.”

  “You expected it to be pretty shitty, as I recall. So it went okay?”

  “We ended up sleeping together.”

  “Oops.” Dalton laughed and took a sip of his beer. He settled in a chair, waiting to hear the story.

  “It wasn’t even just one time. It was the whole damn weekend!” Ian added. How had he let that happen? They’d said they were making good memories, but they sure didn’t feel good now. They felt like razors twisting in his stomach.

  “Major oops.”

  “We always had chemistry. I thought it was gone, but . . .”

  “Why would you think it was gone? Chemistry doesn’t go away.”

  “You have someone?”

  “Not really. No.” He shook his head. “There was a girl in high school.” He shook his head again and didn’t say any more about that. He had grown up an hour away in Lexington, so the chances of Ian knowing who he was talking about were slim.

  “Lexi was the first girl who ever made me look the way you look right now,” Ian said, pointing at Dalton’s face.

  “And why did you leave her again?” Dalton asked to get the attention off himself.

  “I couldn’t give her what she wanted.”

  “A baby?” He must have remembered from their earlier conversations.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think she wanted a baby more than she wanted you?”

  It was a simple question, but one Ian had never thought to ask before. He swallowed down a sip of beer and thought it over.

  “I wanted her to have everything she wanted.”

  “Really? And what does she have right now?” For a guy who tore old houses apart, he was like Yoda with dispensing wisdom.

  “Do you ever feel like you’re completely fucking up your life?” Ian asked after a few quiet moments.

  “Nope. In order to fuck it up, I’d have to have one first,” Dalton said. “I work my ass off, traveling all over the place, and when I get home I hang out with my neighbor or my sister and her family. It sucks not having someone to come home to.”

  “That’s my biggest fear.” It was this fear that kept him from driving back over to Lexi’s and throwing himself down at her feet, begging her to take him back.

  He didn’t want to be with her out of fear of being alone. He needed to do better. For both of them.

  Chapter 8

  Over the next week, Lexi tried to readjust back into her life, but it didn’t feel right.

  “How did it go?” Kelly asked when she called on Tuesday.

  “Fine.”

  “Fine?”

  “Why? What did he say?” Lexi asked.

  “See? Now I know something happened. When the two of you start cooperating to keep me from finding something out, there is definitely something to find out.” She must have taken a class on how to be a big sister. She was so damn good at it.

  “Nothing happened.”

  “That’s what he said.”

  “So . . . ?”

  “So. You’re both shitty liars.”

  “Well, if he says nothing happened, I’m saying the same thing,” Lexi said.

  “Right. Well, whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”

  “Thanks.”

  Lexi hung up and sat on the sofa for a long moment.

  He’d said nothing happened. She wasn’t surprised. He didn’t like Kelly knowing their business, so he would have told her nothing happened regardless of whether he felt it was nothing or not.

  She hoped he didn’t feel like it was nothing. It hadn’t been nothing to her.

  She still found herself staring out the window at work, thinking about the touch of his hands on her body and his lips against hers. The way his warm body felt next to hers, and his smile as the sun played in his hair.

  She missed her husband. She missed her old life.

  She went out with Roslyn and Riley on Friday night. Nichole was working. Lexi hadn’t heard a peep out of Ian all week and she needed a distraction.

  Riley was beginning to accept what was happening in her life. She was a little less bitter and a bit more resigned. Lexi wondered when that might happen to her.

  When would she be resigned to the fact that she was really alone and, despite having had a wonderful weekend with Ian, he wasn’t coming back?

  She decided not to share all the details about the weekend. Mostly she left out the good parts. The sex and the snuggling and the acting like teenagers in love. It was too personal, too precious to be exposed to their comments and judgment. That didn’t mean the rest of the event wouldn’t be judged.

  “Who does that?” Roslyn said again. “Who goes away for the weekend with their ex-husband?” Both of them had been floored at this news.

  “I think it’s nice,” Riley decided. “I mean, if you can keep things civil, it’s better for everyone.”

  Things had definitely been civil between her and Ian.

  “Civil is one thing; going on a weekend getaway is something entirely different,” Roslyn said.

  “It was no big deal. We drove up. We got the painting. We looked around, and then we came back.”

  “It wasn’t weird?” Roslyn pressed.

  “No. It wasn’t.” At least not until they got back. Not until he couldn’t look her in the eye and drove off like he was desperate to get away.

  “Maybe this is the new thing. Getting divorced and being best buddies,” Riley said.

  “We’re not best buddies,” Lexi said.

  “So now you just go back to being what you were before the trip?”

  What was that, exactly? Lexi wondered. “I guess so.”

  “Well, I still think it’s nice,” Riley noted. “I hope one day Evan and I can have a conversation without it turning into an argument.”

  When the sisters dropped Lexi off at her house, she almost couldn’t go in.

  She knew what was waiting for her inside. Nothing.

  Just that feeling of being alone.

  She pulled out her phone, and without overthinking it, she sent Ian a text.

  I’M THINKING ABOUT SEX AND STICKY BUNS. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? she typed as she sat on the porch steps. She pulled her jacket around her to shield herself from the chilly, early May night.

  Twenty minutes later, when her teeth were chattering, she got up and went inside to take a warm shower.

  She never got a text back. She took off her wedding rings and placed them in her jewelry box. It was time to move on.

  She didn’t cry as she slid into bed and went right to sleep.

  He should have texted her back.

  He’d wanted to.

  He’d wanted to tell her he was thinking about her in his arms with the morning sun coming through the windows while she slept. He should have told her he was thinking about that tattoo. He’d wanted to say he was thinking about dancing with her on the sidewalk, and holding her hand in the woods, and how great she’d looked wearing his T-shirt with her hair in that fucking clip.

&n
bsp; He hadn’t.

  The longer it took him to decide what to say, the more impossible it became to say anything.

  “What’s wrong with you?” his older sister asked when he stopped by for dinner one evening the next week.

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.” Kelly was too good. She’d always had some kind of secret power to get him to spill, and it only got stronger after she became a mother.

  “Well, then, if you know so much, you tell me,” he said, like a snotty little brother.

  “She says nothing happened,” Kelly said, eyeing him for a reaction. Did Lexi really mean that, or was she just throwing Kelly off course like he’d been doing?

  “That’s what I told you.”

  “I just can’t believe the two of you could be alone together and not have something happen,” she went on, undeterred. “Not even a spark of something? A kiss, maybe?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you,” he said with a shrug. “I think you read too many romance novels, where everything works out for everyone. Real life isn’t like that, Kel.”

  “Jimmy would be upset to find out his plan didn’t work.”

  “What plan?” Ian asked, though he had an idea.

  “Obviously he left the cabin to you and Lexi in the hope you two would go up there to settle things and well . . . settle things.”

  “We didn’t settle anything. In fact, we’re still not sure what we’re doing with the cabin. She wants me to keep it. She offered to sign over her half. I don’t want it. I want to sell it and split the money with her. What should I do?” he asked.

  His sister took a step back and put her hands up. “No way. I’m not getting involved in that decision.”

  “You like to get involved in everything. Why not the things I actually want you involved in?”

  “I’m an enigma,” she said with a laugh.

  “You suck.”

  “That too.” She was still laughing.

  “Everything I do seems to be wrong.” He frowned, hating to admit it to his sister. “Forget I said anything. I’ve just been in a bad mood lately. I don’t know what it is.”

  “I don’t know what it is either, but you must have caught it that weekend from Alexis because she has it, too.”

  “What’s wrong with Lex?” Kelly had his attention.

  “She’s all mopey and distant. Sadder than her normal sad, which was already pretty damn sad.”

  “Why do you think I want to hear this?” he snapped, wishing he could block her words from his mind. Alexis was sad. More sad than the normal sad, which he had also caused. He could do nothing without hurting her.

  A week had gone by since her text, and he found himself checking his phone all the time, hoping she’d send another one so he could reply immediately, but none came. He’d missed his chance.

  He tried throwing himself into his work, but mostly he stared out the window, thinking about him and Lexi on the blanket by the lake.

  It was the curse of the self-employed to not have a supervisor who made him focus on his work. He was free to waste entire days just staring, and thinking, and wishing.

  As expected, it wasn’t very productive.

  It was time for the oil to be changed in Lexi’s car.

  Ian would be so proud to know she was taking care of her vehicular maintenance needs.

  She took a deep breath. Screw Ian and whatever would make him proud! It had been over a month since the cabin and he couldn’t so much as send her a polite text.

  She didn’t know why she was angry at him, or why it had taken a stupid unanswered text to finally raise this anger, but she was definitely angry.

  She might have looked a little irritated as she walked into the dealership to get her car serviced that morning. Another customer who had gotten to the door at the same time opened it for her. He gave her a wide berth as she walked up to the counter in front of him.

  “How can I help you today?” the cheery man behind it asked. He had brown eyes, like Ian, so she was instantly irritated with him.

  “I have service scheduled this morning. Alexis Montgomery,” she told him as the other man waited his turn behind her. He had blue eyes and light brown hair. She hadn’t found a reason to be irritated by him yet.

  “Yes. I’ll just need the keys and we’ll get you right in. Please feel free to wait in our lounge.” He gestured toward the door to her right. As she fumbled around in her purse for her extra set of keys, the next gentleman was called up to the counter by a different clerk.

  “Jeremy Landis,” he said politely.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Landis. There was an issue with the other service bay late last night. We had to move your service to ten.”

  “Ten? I can’t do ten,” Jeremy Landis said, sounding slightly panicked.

  “We did call the number you left to tell you about needing to change the appointment,” the clerk added in that tone that excused himself from any wrongdoing.

  “I didn’t get a chance to check my voice mails. Ten won’t work.” The man sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Something about the gesture made him seem vulnerable. She found herself wanting to help. Stupidly, she paused by the door to the waiting area.

  “We could reschedule,” the clerk offered.

  “This is the fourth time I’ve rescheduled.”

  “I’m sorry, sir.”

  “It’s not your fault,” he said with another defeated sigh. He was handling the situation very well. She suddenly wanted to be his hero.

  “Excuse me, can you switch us? I can take the ten o’clock,” she said to the clerk.

  The man looked up at her like she’d saved his life.

  “Really?” he said.

  “Sure. I have the day off, and I don’t have any plans.” Other than going to Kelly’s, where she would be interrogated about Ian. “I’d be happy to switch.”

  “We’ll get it right in,” the clerk said, taking Jeremy’s keys. He seemed relieved that the situation had worked out. “Please make yourselves comfortable in our lounge area.” Again the clerk gestured toward the door.

  “Thank you so much for switching. You don’t know how hard it’s been for me to just get my car serviced. Let me buy you a coffee,” the blue-eyed man said.

  “I’m pretty sure the coffee in the lounge is free,” she joked as they walked there side by side.

  “I can’t imagine having a day off with no plans. That must be wonderful.”

  “I actually get to have a whole summer full of them,” she said.

  “You’re a teacher?” he guessed.

  “High school guidance counselor.”

  “Oh, so you’re to blame for the state of the world today,” he teased with a cute smile. His blue eyes sparkled. She wouldn’t think they were the same color as the sky because that made her think of Ian and how he’d told her the same thing. Stupid Ian and his stupid metaphors.

  “Yes. And then they give me summers off anyway.”

  “Very nice gig. I’m a surgeon, which means I get called out at all hours of the day and night to dig around inside of people. I can’t have a life, and I thought I would be rich, but I pay so much in malpractice insurance, it works out to be not that much.”

  “Gee. Sounds like you could have used a better guidance counselor way back.” She was smiling at him. Flirting. She mentally patted herself on the back.

  “No doubt.” They poured coffee and sat in the cushy seats across from each other. “I’m Jeremy.”

  “Alexis.”

  “So, Alexis, why don’t you have any plans today?” He rested his left ankle on his right knee and waited, like this story was going to be captivating.

  “It’s an in-service day for the teachers, so there’s no school.”

  “I never understood what that meant. In service.”

  “It’s basically just meetings.”

  “I’m trying to imagine what I would do if I had a day to myself.” He looked up at the ceiling while he thought it over. “I would ask
someone out on a real date. In a restaurant.” He nodded. “And I would watch daytime television in my underwear.”

  She laughed. “That sounds like fun. I might do that today when I’m done here.”

  “The date?” He smiled.

  “No. The watching TV in my underwear.” She glanced away. Was he hinting?

  “You don’t date?” he asked.

  “Not very well.” That comment cracked him up.

  “I’m divorced,” he said. “Everyone tells me I need to get back out there. If I liked being out there so much, I wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. I don’t really have time for all of that anyway. I’m probably going to end up ordering a bride from some other country,” he said. She couldn’t tell if he was serious. Then he winked.

  “I’m divorced, too,” she shared. “Recently.”

  “How recently?”

  “Almost seven months.” She sighed. “I know what you’re thinking. Seven months isn’t recent. My friends keep telling me that, but it feels better to say I’m recently divorced. As if that’s the reason I haven’t gotten back out there yet. I don’t even have the surgeon-with-no-time excuse.” She laughed.

  “I make it sound worse than it is so beautiful women will feel bad for me.” He laughed. “The truth is, it’s bad right now because I’m at the hospital. If I can get hired at a private surgical center, I would have more normal hours and I could have a life.”

  “Why haven’t you done that?”

  “Well, it takes time to work up a résumé and go on interviews.”

  “That would be a catch twenty-two.”

  “Yes. Thanks for pointing that out,” he said with a smile.

  They talked easily. Her irritation with Ian subsided, and she was able to laugh and smile and have a good time.

  “So would you let me buy you coffee at a real coffee shop because you were kind enough to switch appointments with me and save my day?” he asked.

  “Honestly, it’s no problem. I don’t mind,” she said, holding up her hand to brush off his admiration.

  “See, I was attempting to use gratitude as a way of making a date with you,” he explained.

  “Oh.” She smiled. “I told you I wasn’t good at this.”