When the Heavens Fall
Page 24
Suddenly Eden burst out, “I am Eden Fairfax. I am the woman your nephew delivered from Spain and brought home to my family.”
Winslow’s eyes opened in surprise. His voice was warm as he said, “I’ve heard the story, but we’ve never met. I’m so happy that you have been restored to your parents. I hear good things about how they’ve made a home for you. How is it, lady, with you and God? You seemed troubled in church.”
“I don’t know God.” The words burst forth from Eden. “I don’t know how to find him. Those stories you read, I’ve never heard them before. I’ve never read the Bible. We weren’t permitted to read it in Spain.”
“Miss Fairfax, the one fact that you must understand is that Jesus loves you just as he did those three women. He’s alive, and his desire is to live in your heart.”
“But how can that be?”
“It’s a miracle of God’s grace.”
“I would like that,” Eden whispered, “but I don’t know how.”
“You are just three steps away from God, as we all are.”
“Three steps? What are they?”
“Repentance is the first step. That means you must confess any sin you’ve done and you must not hate anyone.”
Eden knew that Quentin had seen her face suddenly tighten. He said quietly, “I see that you do have harsh feelings.”
“Yes, Reverend Winslow, I do.” She told him how she felt when she learned that Brandon had deceived her. Finally, her voice unsteady, she said, “I—I don’t know how to stop hating him.”
“You spend time in the company of Jesus. After all, he forgave those who were nailing him to a cross. That’s the first step, and you must make it, and no one can make it for you. And you must forgive Brandon. He’s in Dover now, and he needs Jesus just as you do.”
“I—I don’t know if I can forgive him.”
“You must.”
“What is the second step?”
“Faith, my lady. Simple faith that Jesus is the Christ. And the third step is very simple. After you’ve repented and you’ve come to a position of faith in Jesus, you simply call on him, and ask God in the name of Jesus to forgive your sins.” He smiled. “You can do that right now, my lady.”
“No, I can’t! I cannot.”
“Well, then, what you are feeling will stay with you. I feel that God is on your trail, so to speak. I have a copy of the Bible in English that I want to give you. As you read the Word of God, you will hear God speaking to you. And at some point you must call on him and ask him for forgiveness. You can do this in your bed. You can do it while you are out walking. The time and the place are not important. Repentance, faith, and calling on God—that’s all it takes to be in God’s family.”
“Thank you, sir. I will think about it. But I must ask you, do you know the danger you are in? You could be beheaded for your preaching.”
“Oh, yes, I’m well aware of that. But”—there was a joy in his eyes—“Jesus loved me enough to die for me, and if he wants me to die for him, I must do it.”
Eden felt she must get away. She said, “Thank you for talking with me.”
“Farewell, lady. Know that I’ll be praying for you. But come and let me give you the Bible I spoke of.”
Weak and almost unable to walk, her mind in a turmoil, Eden returned to the front of the church, where she waited until Winslow emerged and placed a book in her hands, saying, “Let me pray for you now—and be certain that I’ll be praying for you and Brandon every day.”
He bowed his head, and Eden felt for the first time in her life that God was real and very near. She knew suddenly that she must seek God. There was no other way.
22
After her visit to Quentin Winslow, Eden found herself
spending much time alone. She often spent the entire day reading the Bible that he had given her. At times she felt she understood nothing, but at other times the words would almost leap off the page, causing her to see truth about her life and her spirit. Her behavior obviously puzzled her parents. Both had approached her at different times asking what was troubling her, but she put them off with a feeble excuse.
Finally a thought came to her that shocked her at first, but it came repeatedly. I must see Brandon! I must settle things between us or I shall go mad. She was aware that some of the affection she’d felt for him was still in her heart, but she could not be certain how he felt about her.
She knew that Brandon was in Dover. She had a close friend named Helen Montrose who lived there. The two young women had visited each other several times, for Helen lived with her parents in a townhouse in the town. Eden made the arrangements with her parents and sent Helen a letter, which was answered at once:
Come as soon as you can, Eden. We’ll have a lovely time.
For three days Eden spent most of her time with Helen Montrose. They went out every day and saw most of the sights of Dover. She didn’t have the courage to face Brandon, and she reasoned that she didn’t know where he was anyway.
Then on Thursday night at a small gathering at the home of one of Helen’s friends, she heard a man say, “You know, I lost a lot of money to that Winslow fellow. I think he cheats, but I can’t catch him at it.”
“I’d like to try him,” another man spoke up. “Where does he play?”
“Oh, at the Anchor and Albatross, but you’d better stay away from him. He can read the backs of those cards. I would have called him out, but I couldn’t catch him at it.”
Eden turned away and filed the name of the inn in her mind.
The next day she spoke to a servant named Giles, a small, thin man with light-green eyes. “Giles, I want you to do something for me. I’ll pay you well for it, but you must keep quiet.”
“I’m a living tomb, Lady Fairfax. What do you need?”
“There’s a man called Brandon Winslow. He gambles at the Anchor and Albatross. I want you to find out where he lives.”
“Right! I’ll let you know as soon as I find something.”
Eden was prepared to wait, but late that afternoon, Giles came back. “I found him, lady. He lives in a green house right across from the smithy. You know where that is?”
“Yes, I’ve seen it.” Eden reached into her pouch and fished out a coin. “Remember, you must keep quiet about this.”
“Quiet as the tomb, lady! Quiet as the tomb!”
Eden told Helen that she needed to look for a few items. For a long while she wandered the streets of Dover, and her courage almost failed her. But she prayed silently, Lord, help me to do this thing. I need to make this right with Brandon.
She finally came to stand in the front of the smithy and looked at the green house across from it. It was just as Giles had said, but now that the time had come to meet Brandon, she felt weak and terrified. What will I say to him? The thought seemed to claw at her nerves, and she almost turned and went back to Helen’s house. But she had come for a reason. She straightened up, and her mouth drew into a tight line. She walked up to the door and knocked. There was a long silence, and she knocked again. The door opened and Brandon stood before her. He was unshaved and looked rough, but his voice was eager as he said, “Eden, I can’t believe you’re here!”
Eden had never felt so weak. She managed to whisper, “I—I need to talk to you, Brandon.”
Brandon gave her a long look then said, “Come, Eden, Let’s get some air and go for a stroll.” But once they began their walk, he seemed so taken by surprise that he could not think of a word to say. Neither of them could find a way to break the silence. They reached the brink of the white cliffs of Dover. It was a beautiful, spectacular sight, the cliffs falling away sheer to the sea. The waves below curled, and the whitecaps battered the shore for miles, it seemed. Eden could not think of a single way to explain what she was doing there that did not sound half mad.
“What’s the trouble, Eden?”
She saw that he was looking at her with compassion. She was embarrassed. “I went to hear your uncle preach.”
/> “Did you, now? What did you think?”
“I had never heard preaching before. I sometimes heard a sermon in Latin, which I don’t understand, but I’ve never heard anything like your uncle’s sermon in my life.”
“What was the sermon about?”
Eden went over the sermon slowly and thoughtfully. She saw that Brandon was watching her carefully. From far off came the boom of the surf, and overhead sea birds were calling in raucous cries, but he paid more attention to her than any of these. He stared at her intently as she concluded.
“Did you decide anything?” he asked.
“Your uncle told me that you can’t be a real Christian unless you forgive your enemies.”
“That’s true enough. It’s set forth in the Bible very clearly.”
“He told me I would have to forgive you.”
Brandon blinked in surprise. “He said that?”
“Yes, he did.”
“And are you able to do that?”
“Oh, Brandon, I don’t know! I’ve hated you for two years now. You deceived me. You made me think you loved me, and I believed you. I was such a silly fool!” Tears gathered in Eden’s eyes. Brandon’s face was blurred, but she felt him take her hand in both of his and hold it tightly. His touch was soothing and made what she had come to say easier.
“I can’t blame you for hating me, Eden. It was the only way I could think of to get you out of that place. But let me say this.” He suddenly lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “At first I wanted to get you free in order to save my uncle, but by the time we were on the ship, and as we made our voyage, I realized that my feelings for you had changed.”
“Changed how?” Eden whispered. She was very aware of the warmth of his hand and the strength of it.
“I realized that I had been a fool for years and had never known what real affection was. When I found out what I felt for you—affection that I’d never felt for a woman—it was too late.”
“You truly had feelings for me?”
Brandon seemed to think deeply for a moment, then he spoke, and his voice was soft. “Every man has some sort of ideal of a woman in his head, some sort of picture. The kind of woman he wants. But usually it’s a picture built up of more than one woman, not just one.”
“That’s not very fair, is it, Brandon? How could a man ever get that in one woman?”
Brandon put his free hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer. She saw in his eyes a softness, a gentleness, and yet a hunger that she recognized echoed her own.
“When a man finally gets his woman, he finds all those things in her that he wants to see.”
As he spoke, Eden found herself asking, How much do I care about this man? And the answer came. Love to a woman meant a heart that was full, as she had felt it in those early days for Brandon. It was a wild, strange, and ever-changing feeling, and nothing else was like it. She had always thought of love as something that came upon a woman like the striking of a bell, with a clarity that she had never heard. She thought of it as an understanding that passed from man to woman. She knew that this was happening to her again, and it both frightened her and gave her hope.
She caught his glance and held it. She knew she was beautiful. He was a man like all other men, she knew, with all the primal impulses. He put his arms around her, and she was glad that she had the power to stir him to the deepest of hungers. She longed to ease the sense of loneliness that resounded from him. He brought her to him with a quick sweep of his arm, and as he kissed her, she felt a thrill race through her. When she pulled her head back, she brushed his lips with her fingertips and swayed until she was against him again.
She was shaken and said, “Can we walk?”
“Yes, of course.” They walked along the edge of the cliff, both lost in thought.
Finally she stopped and turned to him. “It makes a big difference, Brandon, knowing that you truly had some feeling for me. That it wasn’t all a lie. I can forgive you.”
He held her with his glance and said almost bitterly, “I have been a lost soul since the time you cast me off, Eden. I’m not a good man, I wish I were, but I’m not. But I’m glad you talked to my uncle. I hope you find God. It seems you already have.”
“I know the path there, anyway. And I hope the same thing for you, Brandon. You’re breaking your parents’ hearts.”
“I know. That’s the worst of it.”
They looked out on the sea. The path was empty. It was this that gave Eden courage to speak. Finally she said with a strange intensity, “Brandon, I know so little about God. You’ve heard about Jesus all your life.” She spoke in a broken voice and tears were in her eyes, blurring her sight of him. “Can’t we find God together? Your uncle told me that anyone who wants salvation has to do three things. I’ve been going over and over those things ever since I spoke with him. I suppose you know what those things are.”
Brandon stilled. “I think he probably told you that when anyone sins they must come to God and repent of their sins and they have to believe that Jesus is the Savior.”
“That’s what he said. And he said that if I want to find peace with God, I have to call on God to save me by the blood of Jesus.”
“That’s the Gospel, Eden. As you said, I’ve heard it all my life.” A bitter expression twisted his face. “I know how to find God, but I’ve never been able to do it.”
Eden’s heart beat very fast, and as she looked intently into Brandon’s face, she saw that he was deeply troubled. A thought came clearly to her: If you don’t call on God now, you may never have another chance. She had a fullness in her throat and could only whisper, “Brandon, isn’t it a decision? There is no mystery to solve. To accept him as Savior is just that, acceptance. Couldn’t we call on God right now?”
Brandon didn’t answer. His eyes brimmed with tears. She knew he wasn’t a man who wept a great deal, but the sight of his face gave her courage to say, “Do you believe in Jesus?”
“Yes! I always have. But I’ve sinned so greatly. I don’t see how God could forgive me.”
“But Jesus forgave the adulteress. Your uncle told me that Jesus would forgive every sin. I need only ask.”
A silence seemed to surround them and Eden felt so weak that she could barely stand. She cried out, “Brandon, we need God, both of us!”
It was then Brandon Winslow knew that he could not run from God any longer. He felt trapped, but along with that he felt a breath-stealing presence that could only be God. He said in a broken tone, “I need Christ in my life. I’ve needed him for so long. Let’s kneel down right here and ask God to forgive us and to save us.”
Eden fell to her knees with Brandon beside her, Brandon cried out to God and waited for Eden to do the same through her tears.
Afterward, neither of them could say how long they prayed, but there came a time of peace for Brandon. Looking into Eden’s face, he felt a great joy. “We’ve found our way with God, haven’t we, Eden?”
“Yes, we have.” He pulled her to her feet and with a great gentleness whispered, “I’ll never forget this moment, Eden. If I ever have doubts about my salvation, I’ll come back to this very spot and I’ll tell God that this is where I gave my heart to him. Alongside you. I’ll treasure the memory forever.”
“What will we do now?” Eden asked weakly, but her face was awash in joy. “I know you must tell your family, and they’ll be so glad for you.”
“Yes, I must go to them. And I think you should tell your family as well.”
They walked along the edge of the cliff, and finally Eden asked, “What about us, Brandon?”
“We must move slowly, dear,” Brandon said. “I’d like to claim you right now, but I know that I must prove myself. Walk awhile in these new boots. It will take some time, but I ask you to be patient. When the right time comes, God will tell us what to do with our lives.” He smiled then and took her in his arms. “I love you, Eden, and I believe that God will guide us toward each other.”
And t
hen Eden Fairfax laughed, “I can wait, Brandon! I know you care for me and I know that God has touched me. Farewell for now, beloved. Go to your family; it will be the happiest day of their lives when you share it with them. When God speaks to you about us, come to me. I’ll be waiting.”
Stuart and Heather were sitting beside the fire. She was reading. Stuart was merely staring into the fire, thinking long thoughts. They had been there for over an hour without saying a word. Suddenly a maid entered to say, “Sir, there’s somebody at the door for you.”
Even as she spoke, they heard the door slam. Stuart got to his feet. Abruptly the doorway was filled with the form of Brandon. Heather cried out, “Brandon!” Leaping to her feet, she ran to him, and he opened his arms. He was stiff with cold, but she held on to him and cried, “What is it, Brandon? What’s happened?”
Brandon could not speak for a moment, and when he did, his voice was husky. He reached out his free hand, and his father took it. “Father, you and mother have prayed for me all my life, and I thought your prayers were wasted, but they weren’t.” He struggled, tears came to his eyes, his voice broke. “I found the Lord. I’m going to serve him the rest of my life.”
And there in that room with the fire crackling and snapping and roaring up the chimney, Stuart and Heather clung to their son, crying out their thanks to the God who had brought the prodigal home.
23
Betsy Price looked down at the child she was nursing, and lines of care appeared in her face. She held the child tightly and tried to ignore the dark fears for the future that rose in her.
“Betsy, girl, I don’t know what we’re going to do.” John Price was lying on a bed, his leg bound to a splint. He had been trampled by a horse. The break was bad enough to lay him low for weeks, perhaps months. The doctor had said he would walk again but he would always have a stiff leg.
“We’ll be all right, John.”
“I don’t know how.” John Price’s voice was weak. He looked around the rough room at his two small children playing in a corner and then at the cupboard that he knew was nearly bare. “I won’t be able to work. What will we do, Wife?”