A Widow's Salvation (Cotillion Ball Saga Book 8)

by Becky Lower

  “Good afternoon, Daniel.” Pepper pasted a bright smile on her face as she took a seat beside the young man and smoothed her pink-and-white striped dress. She placed her papers containing Parr’s drawing of the prosthetic device on the floor. It had been a number of weeks since Daniel’s amputation, and according to Elijah, the stump was healing well. Yet Daniel showed no interest in getting out of bed, or using the crutches, which were propped up beside it. Instead, his body was gaunt, his skin slightly gray, and his lovely dark hair had lost its luster. Pepper realized he was having trouble adjusting to his new body, and she wanted to help change his outlook on life. She hoped she hadn’t been wrong, that he had some interest in trying the prosthetic device. But she’d never know unless she broached the subject with him.

  “What’s so good about the afternoon, lass? From where I’m lying, it’s the same as yesterday. I made a mistake, allowing the doctor to saw off me leg. I should have just been left to die from me injuries. At least that would have been better.”

  “Such nonsense you’re talking.”

  He stared at her for a long minute, then jerked the covers from over his body, and stared at his stump. “’Tis not nonsense. I’m a farmer who can’t stand on me own two feet, since I don’t have two feet anymore. How can I grow enough food to even feed meself, much less a wife and children? Not that any woman would come close to me now.” His gaze moved back to her.

  “I’m close to you, am I not?” She brushed his black hair from his eyes. “Let me prop you up into a sitting position, since I have something to share with you.”

  She placed pillows behind him and then helped him scoot his body up so he could sit.

  “What would it take to change your outlook on life a bit?”

  “Can you reattach me leg?”

  Pepper smiled again, and this time she didn’t have to force it. “In a manner of speaking, yes.”

  She showed him the drawing of the prosthesis and explained how it worked.

  “And you can get this contraption for me?”

  “Yes, I’ll have my brother-in-law make it, and we’ll see how you do with it. There have been prosthetic devices in existence for a number of years, but they are fairly clumsy affairs. I showed a couple pictures of them to Parr, and he came up with his own design, which I’ve already shared with Colonel Williams. He thinks it’s worth a try. It may not work, so I don’t want you to get your hopes up yet, but it might be exactly the device we need to help you stand again.”

  Daniel stared at the papers for a long second, and his finger ran over the drawing.

  “Why me, though? There have been many men who’ve lost a leg.”

  “Because I have a feeling, even with all the padding and wool Parr can build into the device, it’s going to cause you excruciating pain when you first stand. Not many men could endure it, so I chose the one I thought would be the strongest. The one who has so much to gain by again standing.”

  Daniel smiled at her, and Pepper drew in a breath. It was the first smile Daniel had given her since his operation. It might have been a small step, but she’d take it.

  “And while Parr’s working on creating the device, you have your own work to do. I want you out of bed, standing, and walking using the crutches. You need to build up your muscles again, so they can support you when the prosthetic is ready. So, shall we take a stroll around the hospital?”

  The glimmer of interest she witnessed in Daniel’s eyes made hope swell in her own heart as well. She prayed she wasn’t building up false expectations about something she couldn’t deliver. She hoped Daniel’s trust in her wasn’t misplaced. But, if the thought of a prosthetic was what it took to get him up and walking around, she’d consider today a minor victory. He swung his legs over the side of the bed.

  “Take it slow, Daniel. It’s been a while since you’ve been up. Sit there for a minute.”

  “I’m all right, Mrs. Brown. Just need a wee bit of help getting up.”

  She pulled him to standing height and grabbed a crutch for him to lean on. With one arm around his waist, they walked the length of the ward and back again.

  “Perfect! Now you’ve earned some rest.” Pepper helped Daniel get back into bed and covered up.

  “If I can have a pretty lass such as yourself helping me walk every time I get up, I might be able to do it.”

  Pepper brushed his hair back from his forehead. He had beads of sweat on his face from his exertion, so she used a washcloth to cool him down.

  “I have a feeling, Daniel, soon you’ll be chasing a lot of pretty women on your own. Now lay back and relax.”

  “Tell me more about how this leg thing works.”

  They talked for a few more minutes before she put the drawing away and read to him for a while. When he again slept, she tiptoed from the room.

  She met up with Elijah, who was doing his rounds.

  “So how did Daniel take the news?”

  “He’s feeling a bit better now that there’s a possible remedy. And I got him out of bed, finally, for a few minutes. But life as he knows it will never be the same. He will never be the same. But if he’s at least able to contribute to society and to his family, he’ll feel much better about things.”

  Elijah shook his head. “War has changed all of us, I’m afraid. Daniel’s not the only one who will never be the same.”

  “That much is true, Elijah. Our own lives will never be as they once were. All we can pray for now is they be different, and more fulfilling.”

  “I appreciate your outlook. It makes all this worthwhile.” He waved his hand through the air, taking in the scope of the hospital.

  They finished rounds together and ended up back in his office. Pepper retrieved her basket, which was now empty, and prepared to head out. He stood beside her as she gathered her possessions, and placed his hand on her outstretched arm.

  “Thank you again for a lovely dinner the other night.”

  Pepper gazed into his eyes and noticed some of the fatigue and furrows had disappeared. If it had been the result of her dinner, she counted the meal a rousing success.

  “We’ll have to do it again. I haven’t entertained in a long time, and the boys were too young then to remember. But their memory of this dinner has stuck with them. They still haven’t stopped talking about you. And peas have suddenly become their vegetable of choice, to prove to me how they’re becoming young men instead of boys.”

  “Glad I was able to help. Even with your father’s concerns, I’d love to sit down to a meal with you and your children again.”

  Her eyes darted to his face. “What do you mean? Did Papa say something to you while you were sharing cigars?”

  “Yes, he took me to the woodshed, as expected. He asked what my intentions were toward you.”

  Pepper let out a gasp. “He had no right and no call to question you.”

  “He was being a father, Pepper. I would have been surprised if he hadn’t said anything.”

  “But it’s different now. I’m not some wide-eyed ingénue with her first suitor. And you’re not a suitor.”

  “Perhaps not. But your father feels you have a lot to lose if you fall in with the wrong gentleman. He’s only doing what he feels is right.”

  She stared at him. “I’m surprised you’re taking it so well. And, since you’ve come through my father’s grilling of you, most definitely you’ll have to return to dinner again, as a reward. But not before I have a talk with Papa about what is suitable conversation and what is not.”

  Elijah covered his jaw with his hand, but not before Pepper caught the smile her words caused.

  “If the war winds down for the winter, perhaps I can actually get some free time. I’d love to have dinner or maybe even a night at the theater with you.”

  “Then, let’s hope we have no more battles for a while. Although I’m certain living conditions for those poor men who are in uniform are not the best even when they’re not engaged in battle. Tents don’t provide much protection again
st the elements. And by this time, I’m sure some of our soldiers have worn through their shoes and boots, what with all the hiking they are subjected to. They might not be fighting this winter, but they’ll be cold and miserable.”

  “True enough. Every day, our men face peril. But I’ve held you up long enough, Pepper. Good day.”

  He hovered beside her for a moment longer before he released her arm. She wished he would lean in for a kiss. She wanted a man to kiss her, for the first time since Michael died. And she wanted that man to be Elijah. But he behaved as expected, a perfect gentleman. She sighed softly and left the room. There would be no kisses.

  • • •

  Pepper opened the door and let herself into her parents’ house. She tiptoed down the hall, peering into the parlor as she passed. It was empty, which meant her mother was out. Just as she had hoped. Pepper wanted to take her father to the woodshed, as Elijah had described his conversation with her father, and it was best if it was only the two of them, with no interference from her mother. Which camp would her mother have sided with anyway? Her husband, to whom she owed allegiance, or her daughter, whom she desperately wanted to marry off? It was Saturday, so her father should not be at the bank. She had timed her visit in the hopes of finding him home alone.

  She knocked on the closed door of her father’s library and was pleased to hear his voice inviting her to come in. He glanced up from his newspaper and smiled at her.

  “Pepper, what a surprise. Did you bring the boys?”

  “No, I left them at home, since we needed to talk. I didn’t want any distractions.”

  She closed the door behind her and sat, her face schooled into a grim expression. Her father’s familiar scent of tobacco and sandalwood permeated the air.

  “Oh, this sounds serious.”

  “It most certainly is. Where’s Mother?”

  “She’s at the orphanage. You know her and her volunteer work. I think she misses having a house full of small children. Since we aren’t having any more, and the grandchildren come and go, she satisfies her need for babies by cradling the infants at the orphanage. I only hope she doesn’t bring any of them home.”

  “Good. She’ll be gone for a while, so we can talk privately.”

  “All right. I get the feeling there’s no way around this conversation.” George folded his newspaper and laid it aside. “What is the problem?”

  Pepper raised her eyes to stare at him. “You, sir, are the problem. I understand you had a conversation with Elijah the other night about his intentions toward me.”

  George ran his hand over his chin as he gazed at her. “Yes, I did. Just as I had a conversation with Michael before he proposed.”

  “Michael was one thing. I was a young, naive innocent when I met him, I was crazy in love with him, and you were right to be cautious. Elijah is something else.”

  “I’m well aware of that, Pepper.”

  “Are you really? He was merely a dinner guest, Papa, not a suitor. Are you planning to hold the same conversation with every man I have at my dinner table from here on? You realize you insulted him?”

  George ran a finger inside his cravat, as if the neckpiece had tightened on him. Pepper’s eyes squinted as she stared at him, unwilling to put him at ease.

  “I apologized for insinuating his intentions weren’t honorable. I thought I’d smoothed over his objections by making him see reason. Is he still upset with me?”

  “Shouldn’t he be? He didn’t elaborate on exactly what your conversation had covered. He merely said you took him to the woodshed as if he were a teenager instead of a man close to your own age.”

  George puffed a breath and then raised his eyes to her. “Let me explain before you get any more angry.”

  “I would appreciate some kind of clarification.” Her lips tightened as she waited for him to speak with her fingers interlaced on her lap.

  “I’m well aware you are no longer a young ingénue who is unschooled in the ways of the world. I almost wish you were, though. I hate seeing any of my children have a difficult time of things, and you’ve had more than your share of suffering.”

  “Thank you, Papa. But it’s the way of the country. A lot of women will suffer before the war ends. I was merely one of the first.”

  George cleared his throat and steepled his fingers in front of him as he stared over at her. “That being said, there’s a lot about men you don’t know. You were fortunate enough to find a good, solid man when you were still so young. But there are some unscrupulous men out there, who would love nothing more than to marry you to get their hands on your substantial estate.”

  Pepper choked back a sob. “And you thought Elijah wanted nothing more from me than my money? Not only do you insult Elijah by thinking such thoughts, but now you’re insulting me, Papa.”

  George leaned over his desk and placed his hand over his daughter’s. “Don’t twist my words, dear. I am well aware you will bring far more to a relationship than a fortune. But you have to remember men still rule when it comes to estates and money. Once you marry again, the estate Michael left you, which was earmarked to care for yourself and your children, will become the man’s property. You will have no say in how it’s spent. Even your house will become his property. I don’t want you to be left defenseless.”

  Pepper refused to be mollified. Her chin rose and she glared at her father. “But even if you do realize I have some worth other than monetary, why do you feel the only way a man can be attracted to me is because of my estate?”

  “You do come with some strings attached, in the form of three young boys.”

  “So, you’re in essence telling me my ‘strings’ make me unmarriageable? I only thought I was insulted before. This goes far beyond an insult.” Pepper’s spine bristled, and she sat at attention, blinking her eyes to quell the sudden tears.

  George sighed. “You’re determined to take everything I say the wrong way today. No, I’m not saying you’re not marriage material. Quite the opposite. You are a beautiful young woman, and many a man has had his head turned by you.”

  Pepper shook her head.

  “It is true, whether you want to believe it or not. And because of your looks and charm, many a man would want to be with you, but they forget about your boys when they are thinking about marriage to you. What I am saying is you must be extra vigilant when you choose your next husband, be it Elijah or someone else. Might I suggest you take some measures beforehand, to develop trusts for each child, so their money will be safe. I realize you’re a grown woman and can do as you please, but my only concern is about your future, and that of the boys.”

  He glanced over at her. “It would help me breathe easier if we’d take care of the trusts before you find a new man.”

  “As I’m hearing it, Papa, it would ease your mind for me to continue to be a widow and only focus on raising my children.” Pepper pulled her hand from her father’s grasp. “At least we’re in agreement on something today. I have no plans to remarry, Papa. I realize Michael can’t be replaced, and I have no intention of trying to find someone else. Someone who would only be a poor replica of a husband.”

  “I’m only advising caution, Pepper, not a life of celibacy. I certainly hope you do marry again. Michael would have wanted that for you. The colonel is a nice enough fellow, and he does seem to be attracted to you, but is he willing to take on the role of a father to someone else’s children? It’s asking a lot of any man.”

  She sighed and held her hand to her breast. “I believe he’s sincere in his attraction, even though I’ve tried to make it clear that this can never be more than friendship. At least until the war ends. His obligation is to the hospital and mine is to my sons. But he’s been aware from the beginning that I have the boys. I haven’t tried to pull the wool over his eyes. He’s well aware of the strings I come with. But he’s an honorable man, Papa, and I highly respect him. You should come to the hospital one day and see him in action. I agree with you, trusts for the boys are a g
ood idea. We can work on it together, if it will make you feel better. But after this war ends, I’ll need to consider marriage again. I don’t want my boys to grow up without a father. They need a male presence in their lives.”

  She glanced across the desk and grinned. “I know they have you and Halwyn, but you two tend to spoil them rather than discipline them. I’m doing the best I can, but if, at some point, I can find a man who loves my boys almost as much as I do, why wouldn’t I consider him as a husband?”

  “As long as you can tell he loves them, I’m fine with whomever you choose, Pepper. After we get those trusts established, of course.”

  Pepper caught the glimmer of amusement in her father’s eyes. “Fair enough. So I can count on you not to bother Elijah again?”

  “You have my word on it. Once he proves to me how much he loves the children as well as how much he loves you, I’ll welcome him into the family. That is, if you want him.”

  “Somehow, I have a feeling Elijah’s still on trial and our conversation is not over.”

  “I’m only being a conscientious father, dear.”

  “And, as I said, I’m not planning on entertaining the notion of a replacement father for the boys any time soon, so you can loosen your guard a bit.”

  “Point taken. Can I get back to my paper now?”

  Pepper rose and made her way to the library door. “Yes, I’ll leave you alone, now that we understand each other a bit better. I’ll come to the bank tomorrow to get the trusts in place. But if I hear any more of you having threatening conversations with Elijah, I’ll interrupt your peace and quiet once again. Count on it.”

  • • •

  A week later, Elijah stood in the shadows of the ward and studied Pepper as she brought the prosthetic leg to Daniel for the first time. She sat by the bedside wearing a serviceable burgundy gown. Even without adornments on the dress, she glowed. The color of the gown highlighted her ebony hair and pale skin. Elijah had never seen a more beautiful picture and, if he could, he’d love nothing more than to stare at her all day.

  Pepper helped Daniel figure out how to strap the prosthesis on, and he thrust his wounded leg out straight, observing the device, turning his leg to the left, to the right, then bending his knee. Some of Daniel’s coloring had returned in the past week, as had the sparkle in his blue eyes. He and Pepper shared some quiet words together, which Elijah couldn’t hear. He wanted to help, but this whole idea had been Pepper’s, so he understood she needed to do it alone. Elijah only hoped Daniel wouldn’t let her down. She had placed considerable trust in the young man.