Princess Rescue Inc

by Chris Hechtl

  While the old man and his two assistants continued to set up Sydney finished the first draft and used a small portable battery operated printer to print off two versions, one in English one in the native language. He handed it to the scribe for approval but the man took one look and fainted. “Well! I didn't think it was that bad!” Sydney said shaking his head as he looked at the crumpled old man in his assistant's arms.

  The Queen took the draft from Sydney as a servant aired the scribe and Wanda checked him over. It had apparently been quite a shock to the old man, to see something like that. The Queen pursed her lips as she read the document, eyes narrowed at all the flowing phrases and clauses. She then shared it with her husband.

  They went over the boilerplate, pissing Sue off who came in and meaningfully tapped at her watch. The King waved her concern off so she stormed out in a huff, grinding her teeth together. They wrangled a bit over a few things before eventually coming to a final agreement.

  The scribe had been removed so his assistant copied the printed document. The assistant muttered over the stark document, bereft of any embellishment on the borders and without the usual flowing script. Ryans smiled and told the man that he could always add it later.

  The royal monarchs each signed the document, then used wax to stamp their rings onto the parchment to seal it. Ryans insisted on having the available lords sign as well. They were a little put out over this, but formed a procession. Each believed they were there to see that their liege was still alive but were nonplussed and angry over the signing. When they were gathered in an ante room Ryans demonstrated some of the technology they were bringing along. That had more than one lord interested. He described various techniques that they could pass on to the lords, to let them better themselves and their serfs.

  Ryans had each given a copy of the document before the signing and turned the spontaneous event into something positive and uplifting. He had Sergio run copies off, and the royal archivist did as well, handing off a master to each of his assistants to make copies. The document and the notes were handed out to the lords and posted in the city and castle later that evening. They started getting down to the task of teaching as much as they could as fast as they could.

  “This way no one can complain they didn't know and weren't told or weren't there to ratify it. Or didn't understand. All in black in white, all above board. We'll preserve the video for posterity as well,” Sydney said smugly.

  The King was fatigued and ready to sleep after hours of wrangling. Most of the attendants and Terrans were escorted out, though Ryans was asked to remain. “There is one more matter to attend to. Vita Sodalis,” the King said weakly. He waved to his wife.

  The Queen nodded and stroked his hand. She looked up to Ryans. “There is a lex, a law, an ancient one in our land. Vita Sodalis, the life bond or life mate. One that has many hallowed traditions around it. If a person saves the life of another they are indebted for life. If they are single and not of the same blood then the two are to be wed.” She frowned. “From the tales of your travels both of our daughters owe you several vita debts and are therefore Verlobte to you.”

  Ryans ran the translation of that V word through his dictionary. Wouldn't you know that the translator would act up... vita life, no...? He sounded it out and typed it in and then did a search. Verlobte, it wasn't Latin it was German, it meant female betrothed. “Um....” Ryans glanced at Deidra. Deidra was stiff, back to him.

  “That sounds like a life debt thing. I heard it was attributed to Asian cultures but I didn't think it was real,” he said slowly shaking his head. All he could think about was Chewbacca for the moment. He was tempted to say something, a joke but he was fairly certain it wouldn't be understood and if Deidra did pick it up she'd be even more pissed.

  “I don't know what to say,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. He was amused but distinctively uncomfortable. Married to the shrew? He thought and then winced.

  “I... am from a foreign land so some of what you said is lost in cultural differences,” he said.

  “Which is an added bonus, thee and thine are from the home lands and are therefore new blood for our people.”

  “Um...”

  “It is customary for the rules of matrimony to be relaxed with gaijin in order to further the spread of their bloodlines to renew the land. We must spread the wealth across the Imperium. It is of vital importance.”

  “Oh boy, the soldiers won’t mind that in some ways but um...” He thought about the threat of STDs and winced. He thought the implications of the situation over and then carefully explained his point of view. “Look, my... I'm from another land. A totally different culture so holding me or her to that is unfair. Yes I saved them but I was in the right place at the right time and a couple of times I had help.”

  “But you are here now,” the Queen said.

  “And I'm not going to be here for long. Plus I don't think it's fair to push her or Zara into a loveless marriage,” he sighed and shook his head. “Look, I know in your society and especially for you and other nobles arranged marriages are normal. My arrival, didn't it disrupt that?”

  “It doesn't matter.”

  “Really,” he frowned. “And of course the ladies don't have any say in it?” he asked hopefully. The Queen shook his head. “And if I have a let’s say relationship with someone else?” he asked.

  The Queen frowned. He held up a hand. “Just a theoretical question. No, I am single. And yes I know that this is a way to cement an allegiance and a way to get control of me and my people.”

  “You are very astute,” the Queen said cautiously.

  “You mean blunt. I'm laying it all out. It's one of my people's failing sometimes. We either go one of two ways, we either get very literal and explicit or we assume you know what we're talking about and gloss over things. I'm bad at both,” he admitted.

  “Interesting and wise to see your own weaknesses,” the Queen murmured graciously. His knowledge of politics surprised them and impressed the King and Queen.

  “Thanks, I think,” Ryans replied. He turned to the princess. “So that's why you hate me. I understand now and I don't blame you.” He turned back to her parents. “I can't in good conscious marry your daughter, she's not in love with me, she hates my guts, and I will not remain in your Kingdom for long. I fully intend to lead my people back to Earth when the time is right. I have many obligations to thousands of people on Earth.”

  “Further more me and my people come from a different world. We, by your standards are all highly educated and most of us come from a republic. We have been trained since birth to not only speak our minds but to stand up for our beliefs. Equality is a way of life for us, everyone is born equal in my country, and there are no nobles, no lords, and no monarchs. We also have trouble with authority,” he said with a grin. “Which can make things lively sometimes. Trust me; my people will be a very big thorn in your side if you try to assimilate us. We really don't like being told what to do and how to live our lives and a shotgun wedding may be joked about in my culture but we sort of frown when someone tries to force the issue.”

  “Nonetheless, you will be married to Deidra. We will absolutio, absolve you of your responsibility to young Zara but not Deidra. She is to inherit the throne and she needs a strong hand to guide her in our dark time. You must be that hand,” the King said. The Queen reluctantly agreed with a nod.

  “Which will be decades from now,” Ryans said stubbornly. “When you pass your wife will be the ruling monarch.”

  The King frowned. “The nobles will not accept her. They will tear her from the throne if she is alone. Tear her from the throne and kill her or shut her in a tower for the rest of her days. Or wed her to a chosen son to beget a bastard,” the King said and then breathed. He struggled to get up and look Ryans in the eye. Reluctantly the Terran came closer.

  “No, you must lead. You and your people will bring new life to our land. If you want these things; these new things you had us agree to then yo
u must see it through.”

  “But... look we don't need to get into this now. You need to rest. I mean you're not going to die for some time if we...”

  “It must be done, you cannot deny it. Not for overlong,” the Queen said. “My husband may have days,” she said patting his hand.

  “ Or it will be a couple of hours if you don't buzz off all of you. My patient needs to rest badly. He's been overstressed. Now out or I'll find a way to get you out the damn window,” Doc snarled as she entered the room, determined to kick everyone out so the King could rest.

  Doc pulled them aside to report as the door closed behind them. Doc gently told them the King was suffering from the final stages of heart disease, and the best she could do was try to ease his discomfort. “Really, every minute, every hour is a blessing,” the Queen murmured gently.

  “I... I'm sorry. I wish I could do more. I don't think he'd survive a bypass. In these conditions I don't want to attempt it. I think the chances of his survival are less than ten percent actually.”

  Ryans winced. “Blockage?”

  “And the stress of being in his position. Throw in alcohol and over eating and not exercising for decades and... Well, you do the math.”

  “Yeah, I get the picture Doc,” Ryans nodded grimly. They heard a noise in the room. She turned and opened the door. The palace healer was bent over the King with a tube. When she realized the healer was trying to bleed the King, Doc stopped him and then took him aside to teach him. Ryans closed the door and nodded to the Queen. “I suggest you get some food and rest while you can your majesty. Things are going to get interesting soon when he wakes.”

  The Queen smiled slightly. Deidra sniffed, eyes flashing at his impetuous insult of making a suggestion to her mother. “I believe you are right,” the Queen said nodding. Deidra froze, startled and looked at her mother. The Queen's smile grew slightly. “Andreas is trying even on the best of days,” she said dryly.

  “It comes with the Y chromosome,” Ryans replied absently and then shrugged at their befuddled expressions. “It's a male thing, giving women a hard time. To be fair you do it to us too.”

  “True,” the Queen smiled. “In our own small ways,” she said tucking her arm into her daughters. “Come daughter, shall we away to converse?” Deidra nodded. The Queen nodded politely to the guard and then moved off with her daughter.

  Ryans watched them go and shook his head. He turned and rubbed the back of his neck. “Now what?” he asked himself thoughtfully. “Perry,” he muttered under his breath and then went to find the lieutenant.

  <==={}------------>

  When Ryans caught up with Perry in the courtyard he led the lieutenant off to the battlements for a discussion away from the people wandering around. They kept moving so the occasional servant or busybody wouldn't catch too much of the conversation. When Perry heard about the betrothal idea he teased Ryans.

  “I am not amused Perry,” he snarled eyes flashing.

  “I can see that.” Perry said soberly, leaning over the battlements beside him to stare out into the night as well. “But if you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined.” This earned a snort and small smile from Ryans. “It sucks. I know. It's a stupid barbaric law. Then again, she's a looker,” he chuckled ribbing Ryans.

  Ryans snorted. He'd carefully kept the princesses at arm’s length. He liked his ladies beautiful but they were vipers, he just knew it. Trouble with a capital T. “Yeah there is that. She's passionate, that's always been cool. The whole firebrand thing is hot too, but she's jail bait,” Ryans replied running his hand through his hair. The breeze whipped up he looked up as a pennant nearby snapped and popped.

  Perry laughed. “Didn't know you knew that one,” he guffawed.

  Ryans shook his head. “Granddad passed it on. Oh hell Perry, I know if I went along with it I'd end up with my throat slit, poisoned, or she'd cut my balls off. Lorena Bobbitt has nothing on this lady if she's pissed. Which she is, She doesn't like the situation at all.”

  “Real ball buster,” Perry agreed chuckling again. “You know you want it,” he teased, ribbing Ryans.

  Ryans scowled but couldn't quite hold it. Deidra's fire and ice and her looks were intoxicating. The whole forbidden fruit thing, he thought. Taming the shrew may be appealing to some, and becoming King? For some, appealing but he knew what kind of snake pit that was. “Oh shut up,” he growled.

  <==={}------------>

  The stocky man dressed in guard livery looked at them warily as they came out the next morning and re-entered the quad. He'd apparently been looking for them or at least Perry. Perry tried not to smirk at the guy's stiff upper lip look. The brown haired freckled guy was dressed in a blood red tunic trimmed in gold. He jingled, wearing that layer of chain mail in between his gray undershirt and his purple and red outer tunic must be damned uncomfortable. His sheathed, curved sword made him look dangerous. He had a blood red cape with a gold chain that passed over his right shoulder and under his left armpit to hold it up. The cape was cut like a roman cape, trimmed in purple and silver.

  Ryans realized that although some of the soldier's outfit was medieval, some had distinctively Roman or Greek influences like the leather kilt. He for one wouldn't want to be running in the thing; it must be a sweatbox come summer.

  Behind the Captain, Sergeant Waters and Gunny Paris approached. They paused, waiting and watching.

  Ryans nodded to the three men. “Captain Maximus this is Lieutenant Perry, I believe you've talked before briefly but were never formally introduced. Here are his non commissioned officers, Master Sergeant Waters, and Gunnery Sergeant Paris. We, or should I say they, are going to help you bring your army up to more modern standards, our standards.”

  The captain nodded curtly, his left hand holding his cape, his right on the pommel of his sword. He indicated they should follow him to a nearby tower. “An honor to meet beligators from the fabled Patria.” Ryans frowned. Patria, homelands. He really needed to get onto Sydney about the translator.

  “Soldiers in our language sir. Warriors are something else,” Waters said from behind them as they walked. The guard captain eyed him. “I am a noncom, as is the Gunny here. That's Non Commissioned officer. We're one step below officer. We're the ones that make the order stick.”

  “Ah,” the captain blinked, trying to cover his confusion. “I thought you said servant.” He looked over to the Lieutenant. “Master of Servants?” he asked. Perry shook his head. The translation was obviously off again.

  “It is a layer of command between the leaders and the grunts in the trenches,” the Gunny replied helpfully. “You've got what? A hundred in the castle? Soldiers I mean,” he said as the captain opened the door and entered.

  The Captain's chest puffed up in pride somehow despite the layers of chain mail and cloth. “Two cohorts of regulars and one ordor equester. But their majesties have authorized a call to arms, to reform the legions. Our numbers have swelled an additional ten maniples over the past two-fifth days. We add a maniple daily.”

  “Fifth day, that's a week?” Perry asked. He knew a cohort was around the size of a platoon, around one hundred twenty men. Equester sounded something like equestrian, which meant horse. So knights?

  The captain nodded. “Yes my Dominus,” he said as the Gunny closed the door behind him.

  Perry and the other Terrans took a quick look around. Spartan, some sort of office. White, soot stained plaster walls, wood overhead forming both a ceiling and floor for the room above, a stone spiral staircase off to their right and a fireplace nearby. A desk and chair in the corner that had seen better days. Stools and a map of the castle were in the center of the room. This must be some sort of briefing room.

  “Ah. So you've got what? Two hundred forty regulars and about what? Another three hundred rookies? Not to mention the cavalry you mentioned?”

  The captain nodded. He wasn't happy about admitting it to the gaijin but the King had ordered it. “Yes my Dominus. And another cohort of men
for the outer town walls and gates. I hope to double those numbers by the end of this fifth day.”

  “Ah,” Perry gave Waters a wary look. The senior noncom nodded.

  “Okay, the men on the walls, they just guard the walls and gates?” Ryans asked.

  The captain shook his head. “Oh no my Dominus, we also have patrols in the town.”

  “Ah. But I saw others in livery doing that as well. In silver I think,” Perry said. Apparently he'd been a bit more observant than Ryans, Ryans thought with amusement as he glanced at the lieutenant.

  “The sheriff and his men,” the guard captain's lip curled. “They are good at arresting cut-purses and other such thieves but they call us in when there is a punga or occidere.” Ryans frowned. Punga, he checked, Punga meant fight or brawl. Occidere... occidere meant murder.

  “So he thinks you're SWAT,” the Gunny said amused. The guard captain looked confused again. “It didn't translate. Never mind. Later,” he said as he waved it off.

  “As you say,” the guard captain nodded turning back to Perry. “The imperator is coming soon, Or so I'm told. We received word that he would be coming next fifth day or the following one.”

  “General?” Ryans asked translating imperator. “Is he coming with an army?”

  The captain sighed. “No my Dominus. He has however three cohorts of men. Footmen mostly, one score of veteran centurions, with about three knights and their entourage.”

  “Ah,” Ryans nodded. “Fast reaction force?” he asked glancing from Perry to the guard captain.

  The captain blinked. “He means, they are a quickly raised force to fight raiders?” Perry amended.

  The captain nodded. “Yes. But it will take many more to get the Duluth scum out,” the captain's lip curled again and he spat. “They will be traveling light and from a great distance so they may need to be outfitted and given time to rest and recover.”