Princess Rescue Inc

by Chris Hechtl

  Her lips pursed. “True. I am not certain you know how dangerous the situation truly is.”

  “Oh I'm getting it. Rojer is a bad apple, he'll hug you with one arm while the other shoves a knife in your back,” he replied.

  “Actually he'd much rather use a subordinate,” Deidra replied. She frowned. “So beware.”

  “I think he's sizing the situation up. Once he gets his bearings he'll be a problem. The question is will he settle for laying the groundwork now while we're trying to get organized and fight the Duluth or will he try to take advantage of the crisis and strike now?”

  “That's something for mother and father to consider,” Deidra replied primly.

  “Not quite, I'm on that list as well. What happens affects me and mine as well. Technically it'll affect you and Zara as well.”

  Diedra frowned. “Yes, but it's not my place to interfere.”

  “I know, the dutiful daughter. I also know there's fire in those eyes and if you see him doing something you're not going to wait, you'll kick his ass.”

  She stopped to stare at him. He turned to face her. He cocked his head as they sized each other up. He finally raised an eyebrow in inquiry. “I'm right and you know it. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission and all that. Uncle or not if he's a threat you'll do it.”

  “I...”

  “Princess, I know some people think you should be a swooning thing, dainty and prim and proper. I think they're full of shit. I heard some of the crap they were saying about my saving you. Also horse shit. If the situation had been reversed you would have done the same.”

  “You think you know me so well,” she said looking away.

  “Oh, you mean holding back to protect yourself and therefore the line of succession? Or not risking your life for another? Yes, I know that's there somewhere in the back of your mind. But I also saw the fighter. You just need to pick and choose your fights better,” he said.

  She turned to him, eyes glittering. He held up a finger. “Example, your little run in with the black knight and your experience with that castle that turned you and Zara away.”

  Her lips thinned as she scowled. She turned and looked away.

  “And of course I'm putting my foot in my mouth by bringing it up. Sorry, maybe I should learn my own lesson about picking fights,” he said with a sigh, shaking his head.”

  “Perhaps you should. Your recent fight with mother for example,” she replied bitingly.

  “Yeah, that wasn't very bright. I could have handled that better. I admit I was a bit heavy handed in getting the point across.”

  “I'd say so,” Deidra growled.

  “Thanks for rubbing it in,” he sighed. “You really think Rojer's going to be a serious problem? I mean soon?” he asked. Rojer wasn't loyal to the throne though he pretended to be. That worried Ryans. He'd instituted a policy of having the newly arrived nobles sign the gaijin treaty. Baron Muchinson had, under protest, but Rojer had begged off due to travel fatigue. He'd have to get the man onto it. Or better yet sick the Queen on him.

  “Yes, how quickly he will become a problem is anyone's guess. I think he'll wait to see if father recovers fully or not,” Deidra finally replied as they started walking once more.

  “Great, just great. Another problem to keep an eye on. In some ways I like your mother but I really don't want to be caught in the middle of this.”

  “Then chose a side.”

  “I'll...” he sighed and shook his head. “I'll wait and see.” Her eyes flashed at him. He shrugged as she started to reply hotly to him. “Can you blame me?” he asked softly. Her mouth closed and she frowned again. Finally she shook her head.

  “Thank you for being honest with me princess,” he murmured. “I know this is for show, I know your mother ordered it, but just the same thank you.”

  “I didn't do it for you.”

  “I know. Just the same thank you for the warning and the talk,” he turned, deciding a change in subject was in order. He looked out to the courtyard below.

  “I see a mix of different races. That's um... unusual in cultures like yours. At least on Earth in the past,” Ryans said nodding his chin to Answorth and the kids below. They were on the wall overlooking the courtyard. Answorth was working out with some of the other young volunteers. He wasn't sure if it was play or general mayhem.

  Answorth was still a work in progress, at least he'd gotten the kid to take a shower in the camper every other day and he no longer had lice or fleas or whatever those things were. The kid still loved to borrow his laptop or tablet to watch movies which could be a pain.

  Deidra turned a cool glance to him and then back to the courtyard. “You mean slant eyes? All are welcome here. Skin color, size, eyes, it doesn't matter, there's too much to do and too few to do it. Everyone is welcome here. Even Gaijin like you,” she said and then left.

  He shook his head in bemusement. “Well, that put me in my place,” he said. He turned as Wanda came up behind him. She was holding something he couldn't make out at first.

  “Put who in whose place?” she asked.

  “Never mind,” he waved a dismissive hand. “That it?” he asked indicating the ceramic bowl in her hand. It was pretty, white with blue flowers painted in the glaze.

  She looked down at it. She wasn't at all happy about holding the damn thing but it was inert as long as pressure and heat weren't around. “Well, hopefully. I've got another batch drying. The alcohol mush is a pain. Sure it makes a dandy paste but grinding the stuff smooth makes me a little spooked.”

  “Me to, to bad we don't have a meat grinder. It'd work good and make pretty good proportions,” Ryans said smiling.

  “Sure, now you tell me. Probably one in that cache you know,” Wanda replied bending over to put the bowl on the ground. She looked around then shifted it away from a trellis covered in tomatoes. “Course you could get Max to make one.”

  “I'll probably do that and one for the chefs. I wouldn't mind a decent burger.”

  “Botulism?” she asked.

  “You would bring food poisoning up,” he sighed shaking his head in annoyance.

  “Here goes,” she said, touching a long lighter to the compound. It didn't light. She tried again frowning. “Ohhh kayy. What the hell did I do wrong?” she muttered.

  “It's probably still wet. It may take time...” Suddenly the compound flashed into a bright light and then a lot of gray smoke. “Or not.”

  “I think that was some of the alcohol. We watered it down,” Wanda observed.

  “You watered the alcohol down?” Ryans asked slowly.

  “Ah yeah, just breathing that crap in will make you drunk you know,” Wanda said turning an irritated glance his way. He sighed.

  “Then use a respirator Wanda. The water contaminated it,” he said.

  “Crap. Okay, I'll try.” Wanda picked the blackened bowl up and walked off muttering darkly to herself. He shook his head and went back to his laptop.

  <==={}------------>

  Deidra nodded politely to her mother and sister as she came into the room later in the evening. “Have a nice walk?” Zara asked with a small smile.

  “Hush,” their mother said, knowing Deidra was in no mood to be teased. She was glad that the walk had been brooded about though. “How did it go dear?”

  “He is sufficiently informed of uncle Rojer and his scheming,” Deidra replied, smoothing her skirt out.

  The Queen nodded. That of course had been only part of the reason they had that walk. “Will he aide us?”

  Deidra sighed. “I think he wishes to stay out of it. Stay out of any schemes or scheming as he said. He is focused on getting the war over so he and his people can leave.”

  The Queen's eyes narrowed. “He must get over such lofty goals.”

  “Which, winning the war or returning to Patria?” Zara asked looking from her mother to her sister.

  “Returning, none can return. The portal is savage.”

  “Mother I wouldn't put anyth
ing past these gaijin. Patria has changed greatly since our ancestors left there. You should watch the picture boxes they have. They have video of their world and the cities. Such cities!” Zara said shaking her head. “Towers of glass and iron touching the sky!”

  The Queen looked at her youngest daughter and then to Deidra. Deidra nodded and then looked away. “Tis true mother, they have such places. Bridges of metal and stone that span great rivers, machines to move goods in scales we would only dream of and our merchants would envy.”

  “They could do a lot of that here,” Zara murmured. “If we could sufficiently entice them to do so.”

  “Some may choose to stay,” Deidra replied. “We might be able to entice a few to stay with word of a soft life and riches.”

  “Force is definitely out,” Zara said, shaking her head. Deidra nodded. “Any who try to force them will run into the will of an angry bull rhinotrike in full musk. And have as much luck surviving such rage,” Zara said. Deidra winced and then nodded.

  “What about these wonder weapons and things they make?” the Queen asked. Zara gasped, catching her mother's train of thought easily.

  “Thinking of using them against them mother?” Deidra asked, cocking her head and raising an eyebrow. Her mother drummed her fingers against her armrest. “Don't mother. They have greater weapons. The ones they make now are primitive. We will have more but they will have better and are better trained to use theirs.”

  “Don't mother, don't. We owe them much and they have been kind to us. They try to help our people and deserve respect,” Zara said earnestly.

  “The fate of our people is ever on my mind daughter,” the Queen said primly.

  “It is about honor,” Deidra replied locking her mother with her own intent gaze. “Honor, theirs and ours. They honor us with their trust and aide. We must return the honor and not betray them.”

  “Tis something to consider greatly mother,” Zara said softly. Slowly the Queen nodded.

  <==={}------------>

  Wanda the chemist and Charlie the biochemist worked out an improved black powder formula. They also turned open their labs, flooding the castle with ideas that made many people confused but hopeful. Simple things were a hit, including refined yeast and improved baking soda.

  Cleaning agents had their uses in the kitchen as well. Kitchen sink chemistry and overhauling the food handling practices helped. The improvement in the quality of the food was an instant hit with the castle denizens.

  Of course getting someone to install a sink with running water in the kitchen had been out of the question for now but getting the kitchen staff to bathe and clean themselves before cooking had helped, if not in flavor then in the Terran's peace of mind... not to mention stomachs.

  The simple cleaning solutions they released were a big hit, not just with the cleaning crews but also with the wig industry. Some of the castle court loved powder white wigs and found that the bleach did a good job of brightening them. Though one courtier found the hard way that dipping a wig in a watered down solution overnight destroyed the pricey wig.

  Most of what the Terran chemists had released was from the stockpile the Terrans had brought along, watered down or thinned with native materials to make it go longer. It would be at least another week or two before they could get bleach from scratch into full production. They had to wait that long because the raw materials weren't in sufficient amounts in the capital for a production run. It would be a month before they had enough to give it a shot. Aldonis, a native who had some experience in chemistry was setting up the chemical works under Wanda's supervision.

  “Where are you getting the saltpeter?” Perry asked at their next general meeting. They had one every other night. He'd heard about Wanda's gunpowder show from Ryans that morning.

  Charlie smiled. “Same place you told us, caves.” Mary gave her a look. “Bat guano, or the equivalent.” Mary wrinkled her nose. “Mix high nitrate level manure with limestone, then leach it through straw and water and you'll get potassium nitrate. Run it through the leaching cradles a few times and you'll turn it into a thick slurry,” Charlie explained to the uninitiated.

  Mary looked thoughtful for a moment then shook her head. “Where in the world did you... Never mind. Chemistry class,” she smiled.

  “Actually. It was a cave,” Perry interrupted quietly. “A cave in West Virginia used by the Confederates during the American civil war,” he explained. “Most of the confederate gunpowder was made in those caves from the nitrates found there. The Yankee's never suspected a thing,” he chuckled at Mary's dubious expression.

  “Organ cave?” Charlie asked.

  Perry nodded. “You got it,” he replied. Charlie chuckled. “Been there?” he asked her still smiling.

  She shook her head. “Nah, caught it on Discovery channel a while back. Beaut of a cave though, I wanted to check it out someday,” she sighed. She loved spelunking. Perry chuckled once more.

  “We've tested that method but we're going to try to improve on it. We're going to try paper filtering,” Charlie said, getting back on track.

  “Paper filtering?”

  “Just like coffee.”

  “Ah. Well, if it doesn't work at least we'll have plenty of coffee filters,” Perry quipped. Charlie snorted.

  “Well, the good news is I figured out where all that oil is coming from,” Mary called as Perry started to walk off. He turned, suddenly interested.

  “All right, I'll bite, what oil?” he asked. She smiled and unrolled a scroll.

  He looked over her shoulder to see a plant. It looked like a cross between bamboo and a fern.

  “See they call it a phoenix plant. It's hollow. It stores and secretes an oil. In the spring the oil is full of sugars and it smells sweet. That attracts insects to pollinate,” she explained.

  “Okay, that's nice Doc...” Perry said trying to move away. She grabbed his arm.

  “Hold on, I'm getting to the good part. See as the seasons change so does the oil. When it rains in the late fall the water fills the open interior cavity and mixes with the oil.”

  He wrinkled his nose. “And oil and water don't mix?”

  “Cute. No, that water pressure does something, I'm not sure. But from this it said it turned the oil into something flammable. Very flammable,” she said with an evil grin.

  Suddenly he got it. “Ah.”

  “And thinned out because of the water. Before it was thick.” She got up and went over and picked up a lamp. “They harvest the oil for everything from heating oil to lamps, to other things.” She tapped on the ceramic container.

  “A plant with 101 uses. Wait, why the phoenix plant then? Why is it called that?” Perry asked, wrinkling his brow.

  “Ah, you got to the good part.” Mary smiled. “When it gets to fall it dries out. When that happens it becomes extremely flammable. One spark and whoosh!” She threw her hands up into the air. “But if it doesn't get a spark it will spontaneously combust on its own. The native's aren't sure why. I think it's a bacteria symbiosis that generates the requisite heat.”

  “Okay...” Perry said nodding patiently.

  “The plant has blisters on the inside of the chimney walls. When they heat up the long tube sucks in cool air at its base and then releases smoke and hot air up...”

  He nodded. “Like a chimney, yeah Doc, I get that.”

  “Well I am guessing it releases its spore pods in the smoke. These drift like dandelion seeds on the thermals to a new place to land and settle in. The parent plant's roots are buried deep and cut themselves off from the upper plant like a weed being pulled. The ash nourishes them over the winter and early spring when they sprout anew.”

  “Ah.”

  “It's a big thing. They don't let them grow around buildings and on farms. Once they start going off...”

  “I can imagine,” Perry said nodding.

  “The plant's got some fire making uses as well. I'm trying to get some so we can give it a go with some of the stuff you want.
The flash paper for one.”

  He blinked in sudden understanding. “Oh.”

  “But we're having trouble getting it. It is farmed in the wetlands south of here. Apparently they use some sort of suction method to draw off the oils. That keeps the plant from going up in flames. Unfortunately I can't get a look at one... but if your men see one...”

  “Oh. Let me see that sketch of the plant again?”

  Chapter 7

  Gunny Paris had his own headaches as he tried to get the latest batch of new recruits into some semblance of order. “I'm so getting too old for this chicken shit,” he muttered near the door to the barracks. There was a line of volunteers, about fifty here. They were taking them in job lots now with only a cursory exam. He'd even talked Maximus and the sheriff into turning over the capital's tax evaders and other nonviolent criminals. Working their tail off in the army was much better than starving in the dungeons or being tortured.

  “Is this necessary?” one of the men murmured to another.

  “Yes,” the Gunny growled. “Now zip it. No talking in line.”

  “Yes, sir,” one recruit said gulping. The Gunny glared.

  “I'm not an officer so don't sir me. But I'll let it slide this once. Get in the chair,” He pointed. Gregory smiled, holding the clippers.

  “Relax, it won’t hurt,” he said, turning them on as the kid settled. The buzzing startled the kid. He looked wide eyed at the small noise maker.

  “Relax I said,” Gregory cupped a hand under his chin then began to work on the kids scalp. In moments he was down to stubble. “All done. Next?” he asked. The kid got up and shook himself out.

  “Out. Line up with the others,” the Gunny ordered. “Smartly you jack ass. Move it!” The kid picked up his pace, running disbelieving hands through his scalp.

  “Was he crying?” Ginger asked amused, looking in the direction the kid had run off.

  “Probably,” the Gunny snorted. “He's going to need to be a lot tougher if he's going to hang.” He turned to the waiting line. “Who's next?”