Princess Rescue Inc

by Chris Hechtl

  Wanda shook her head. “No, we've tested it over the decades,” she smiled. “And we...women I mean,” she grinned conspiratorially to the other women, “have found that men respond better to a more... natural look.”

  “There's truth in that statement,” the count admitted reluctantly, bobbing his head in a nod. He glanced at the Queen. “No offense your majesty,” he said hurriedly.

  She waved it off. “No offense should ever be taken from simple truths,” she chuckled softly in memory. “Andreas was ever the paramour in the morn when our defenses were down and we felt we were unprepared for an attack.”

  Charlie snickered. “They all do that. It's a testosterone thing,” she said with a slight grin. The Queen raised an eyebrow to her. “Male hormones, it makes them stronger and randy all the time. Especially in the morning,” she explained.

  “Ah,” the Queen murmured thoughtfully. The Queen nodded, lips pursed in a small smile. “We had known of that but not the cause.”

  “It's also strategy,” Wanda said smiling to the Count. The count looked startled.

  “I do not follow your meaning,” he said hesitantly.

  “Don't you?” she smiled wickedly. She turned to the Queen. “Think about it. You’re just wakening, your defenses are down... the men see an opening and go for it.”

  The Queen and others chuckled as the lord squirmed in sudden discomfort.

  “Mercy dame, I yield,” he choked out, as the girls snickered with fresh amusement.

  “Wise fellow,” Charlie said smiling again as the lord retreated.

  <==={}------------>

  The count made his way down through the corridors. He bumped into Perry who looked amused.

  “From the look you either got some news or the women were at you,” he said.

  “The women I bet since he's coming from the Queen's residence.” Ryans said smiling. “Let me guess, either her majesty laid some news on you or...”

  The count shook his head. “Your women are... forthright.”

  “You don't know the half of it buddy,” Perry snorted. “We've developed a very... open style of discussion lately. Bodily functions I take it?”

  The count blinked. “No, ah...”

  Ryans chuckled. “Let's let the guy get his bearings. I think the Queen wanted to see us and we're running late as it is...” The count bobbed a nod and then walked off, head high. He was trying to restore some shred of his dignity.

  “Having fun putting a bee in his bonnet Charlie?” Ryans asked coming into the room. Charlie grinned.

  “It was kind of interesting messing with his head.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine. She start in on periods?” he asked giving Deidra and the Queen a look. Both women blushed furiously.

  “A gentlemen doesn't discuss that in the presence of a lady sir!” the Queen said stiffly.

  “Why? It's a part of a woman, not a man. Remember what we said your majesty, knowledge and understanding are vital.”

  “Knowing is half the battle,” Perry said standing straight.

  Wanda snickered. “Thanks Mr. GI-Joe.”

  “You're welcome,” Perry deadpanned.

  “Anyway, when we confront a problem, discuss it openly and pool our resources we have a greater chance of solving it or at least mitigating its effects... or understanding its cause. Medicine, politics, war... education is key in many things,” Ryans explained.

  “For instance, ” he indicated Perry and himself. “we know all about female biology. We know what's going on every month, how it works and why. We also know that hot flushes and irritability later in life are a part of that cycle called menopause and how it affects your body and mind as you age.” He bowed to the Queen. “No offense intended,” he said after a moment.

  She bowed slightly, eyes narrowed. “None taken but watch your tongue.”

  “Sorry,” he sighed. “But knowledge must be imparted for others to make use of it. If only a few know and they die due to illness, war, or accident, then that knowledge is lost.”

  Deidra blinked and then nodded, giving her mother a look. “He's right mother. I mean your majesty.”

  The Queen slowly nodded. “And the cure for this?”

  “To make the knowledge available for all to learn and use. To better all your subjects,” he waved. “Some will take this knowledge and find new ways to do things, ways to better heal or better themselves. Their example will be followed by others. Which leads me to the discussion we were here for, education... we were talking about setting up a series of elementary schools here in the capital to improve literacy in this area and later the Kingdom at large...”

  <==={}------------>

  “My lord Farnsworth, I do believe the subject at hand was taxation reform, not...” the Queen paused to cough delicately into a hanky then she looked up at the ceiling as the pitter patter of rain started.

  “It looks like the princess's practice is over,” Ryans murmured to himself.

  “Why do we even need reform?” Farnsworth, an old cantankerous lord growled. He threw his hands up in the air. “All these changes. Too fast. Too fast.” He turned glaring at Ryans. “Your fault this is. Mark my words it'll be a detriment to all our children,” he said shaking a gnarled finger his way. He turned glaring about. A few murmured at that.

  “Lord Farnsworth, I believe you have a problem with change? Or is it with children?” Ryans asked as he got up. The lord glared and mumbled something. “Do speak up please,” Ryans said encouragingly.

  “Both,” The cantankerous lord snarled.

  “Ah. Traditions must be observed,” Ryans nodded. “And you're right, cultures do change when new things are added. Sometimes for the better, and I admit, sometimes for the worse. Children have a way of vexing their predecessors by embracing change and new things. I believe your daughter is in Doc's classes?” he asked.

  The lord glared. “Yes,” he snarled. “Her proper place is at the hearth. She should be focusing on remarrying and growing a new grandson for me, to rule in my stead when I die.” He looked over to the Queen whose eyes flashed. “No offense,” he said weakly.

  “There better not have been any,” Ryans said softly to himself. He sighed, fully aware of the temper of both the Queen and princess. Farnsworth didn't know it but he was on thin ice.

  “There are two problems here, and we can address them one by one. First, Dominus are you proud of your daughter?”

  The lord blinked. “Of course! She's born to rule!”

  “Ah. So her acknowledging her heritage is important,” Ryans observed. He nodded. “Is her learning to take better care of her subjects making her a better person?”

  The lord blinked then got a thoughtful look. “I never...” He looked off to the cloudy window.

  “You never thought of it that way?” Ryans asked softly as the other lords looked from one to the other. “We keep forgetting that one of the principle urges of mankind, both in men and women is to better ourselves and our surroundings for our children, give them a better life than what we got ourselves,” he said. He smiled, bowing slightly to the Queen and Duchess Pryor.

  “We also forget our own pride... our own need to stand out from our fellows, and to do better than our forefathers. To excel,” he said. He looked out among the crowd. A few nodded at that.

  “Each of you are of noble birth. Now, you know you have the right to be here, but tell me, which feels better? The fact that you are here because of that, because of your blood right, or because you earned it?” he asked. “Earned it by deed and action?” The crowd murmured a little at that little morsel.

  “Whether it's on the field of battle, your wisdom in court, or your even hand at managing your subjects... tell me don't you think it feels better to have earned the right? Fuller?”

  A few dark looks answered that. “Now, extending that concept, are you proud of your children if they earned that? If they proved themselves on the field of their choosing?” Ryans asked. Lord Farnsworth turned back to him.

/>   “Your daughter may not be a warrior like Deidra or Zara, but she has chosen a battlefield just as hard, just as cruel, and just as devastating as any she could come across with a sword in her hand,” Ryans said ever so softly, looking into the stubborn father's eyes. “I understand if you don't want her to face such adversity. No parent wants their child to face such trauma. But facing it and overcoming it is what makes us a better person.”

  “My lord from my understanding she has lost her husband and children to disease correct?” Ryans asked when the lord didn't say anything. The lord stared mutely. After a moment he slowly nodded.

  “She has exchanged her sword for one smaller, a scalpel. This tool, the knowledge she is learning, and other tools will aid her in being a better person and making a lasting impression on those around her. She wants to save lives, to prevent another unnecessary child's death.” He smiled at the lord.

  “Your daughter wants to build the first hospital in County Farnsworth. With the training you gave her, the training she is receiving from the doctor, and her drive and determination, she will most likely succeed. Tell me, if your daughter rises to become the greatest doctor of Farnsworth County or in the entire Imperium would you be proud of her?”

  The lord nodded slowly. Ryans nodded back. “As is Doctor Carter's family. She's an incredible doctor. One dedicated to saving lives. Let her teach your daughter and others like her so they may go out and do the same and help their fellow countrymen. Together they will change the world.” He smiled as that last shot went home.

  “Your daughter will be both, a great healer as well as a good lady in her own time. Right now you have many more years ahead of you. Why should she get all moldy waiting? Here she's being productive, keeping her mind fresh while learning new skills to aide those around her.”

  “What of you?” a voice asked. Ryans turned as a lord rose.

  “What of me?” Ryans asked, with mixed emotions of amusement and annoyance.

  “Have you proven yourself worthy?” Malfoy asked.

  Ryans snorted. “Where? In business? Sure,” he said and shrugged. “In mechanics, electronics, or other things? Of course.” He shrugged again.

  “In battle. I don't recall you as a shield partner in the last... unpleasantness,” Malfoy said letting that last come out as an almost sneer. “Were you ill?”

  “No, I was there with the general actually.”

  “Not one for bloodletting?”

  “Not particularly,” Ryans smiled. A few of the lords and ladies in the room remembered things a little differently he knew. “I can rise to the occasion as warranted. After all, just ask... oh what's his name...” He waved airily toward the spot where the baron had lost his life. Malfoy and a few others paled.

  “I'm not the warrior of the partnership. Although I have some basic training in that regard. I never pretended I was a soldier, however. That's Deidra to a T. Her sister too for that matter,” he chuckled. He looked over to the door as it opened and Deidra came in, toweling her armor clean. She looked thoroughly vexed.

  “Mother this dratted weather... Oh!” She blinked and then blushed as she straightened. Clearly she hadn't anticipated court would be in session.

  “Right on cue,” Ryans murmured smiling softly.

  “So does that mean you're to marry both of the princesses?” someone asked in the back.

  Ryans rolled his eyes. “What are you kidding me? One's enough thank you, I've got enough trouble keeping up with her,” he smiled as Deidra reached him. He wrapped his arm around her, bent down and kissed her... and then caressed her bare midriff.

  “Stop that!” she said batting his hand away. His smile turned into a mischievous grin.

  A sparkle of laughter met that. She looked around and her wine complexion darkened even further. “Save your strength for later,” she said to him as they parted. She gave him a smile as she walked...no strutted away. “You'll need it,” she said wickedly over her shoulder. Fresh laughter from the crowd met his now deep blush.

  “I'll say you've got your hands full!” someone jeered from the back with mirth. He waved.

  “Yup, wouldn't have it any other way,” he chuckled. He turned to the Queen who was both amused and proud. “I believe we were discussing provisions for education. We're starting small projects here in the capital, pilot projects. This is to allow those who can to learn new the technologies we are releasing as they are developed.”

  <==={}------------>

  “That went well,” Serena said as the court ended and they exited into the halls. Rojer held her to his side. He looked down at her.

  “Not as well as I had hoped,” he said quietly, aware of the people around them.

  “But every barb helps the cause,” she murmured. “I dare say Malfoy may make an interesting... ally.”

  “He may,” the Duke said, not committed or convinced. After the baron's fiasco he was a lot more cautious about drawing in another hot head who acted so impulsively. Obviously directly confronting the gaijin was out.

  <==={}------------>

  “Still having commitment issues?” Wanda asked, eyes glittering as she passed the bucket of ice cream over. She licked her golden spoon, smiling to Deidra.

  “Something... I don't know.” She shrugged. The Queen gave her a look. She took a bite of the ice cream, her eyes went wide. “Oh, cold but so much flavor!” she said smiling. Her mother gave her a gracious nod. Smiling she passed the bucket over.

  “Thank you my dear,” the Queen said graciously. She took the bucket and looked it over. “My it is cold, I can feel it.” She put her spoon in and took a small sample. “MY!” Her eyes went round. She smiled. “Indeed, I could get used to this.”

  Doc came in, tossing off her night coat. She plopped down in the circle of pillows wearing her pajama bottoms and top. The royal slumber parties were becoming a bit of a tradition. So far the other ladies hadn't twigged about it, but it was only a matter of time. When that happened things would change. “What'd I miss?” she asked picking up a spoon.

  “Oh, we're introducing the ladies to ice cream,” Charlie said smiling to the Queen. “I think it's a hit.”

  “You don't say?” Sue asked smiling as the Queen reluctantly passed the bucket on. “They got the formula right?” she asked. She took a bite.

  “It's close. The sucrose and milk are a problem. Sugar cane didn't cross over so we've had to make some adjustments. Still works in my opinion,” Wanda said defensively.

  “Oh it does! It does!” Charlie chuckled. She gave Sue a look. “Heard you had an interesting case this morning? The guard was called...”

  The Queen looked over to her. “Indeed, I heard something about a werewolf?” she asked.

  Sue shook her head. She had her hands full with all the battlefield casualties and now this. Fortunately only the worst of the battlefield casualties were still in the hospice, most of the lightly wounded had been either sent home on leave to fully recover or had returned to their barracks to recover there. “It's not a werewolf, though most people think of it that way,” Sue sighed and wrinkled her nose. “Really, the rabies virus is more like a werewolf than this.” She waved.

  “That hair thing?” Charlie asked catching on. Sue nodded.

  “The sick thing is it's just a genetic issue, not something that's because of disease or because the person is in league with evil,” she replied and then grimaced. “Try telling that to some uneducated idiots though.” She shook her head.

  “Bad?” Zara asked, eyes round.

  “Well, let me put it this way, I had to call the guard to keep the mob away. They wanted to burn the poor kid at the stake.”

  “I'll say bad,” Charlie said after Wanda whistled. “Crap. That sucks. All that over a lot of hair, nonsense,” she sighed. “When will people learn?”

  The Queen froze and then cocked her head. “So there are no such things as werewolves?”

  Sue snorted. “No, not in real life, only in make believe. Most cases were either this, a
genetic deformity, or a virus that was transmitted to the person after they were bitten by a rabid animal. That animal more often than not was a fox, or bat, or other creature.” She shook her head. “Wolves always got a bad rap over that.”

  “Ah,” the Queen nodded.

  “Could you ah... get your people to realize this your majesty? Stop the murders and lynch mobs? Most of the hairy people can lead normal productive lives with the right treatments. All some need is constant hair care or a laser treatment. The rabies... we do have a cure for it, but it has to be injected into the person in stages...” She waved. “In other words it's a case of ignorance and fear overwhelming people and their common sense.”

  “Ah. This is more of that knowledge that you said we needed to get out,” Deidra nodded thoughtfully. She glanced at her mother. “We shall see what we can do, right mother?” Her mother glanced at her and then gave a regal nod.

  “So, what were you talking about then? I mean when I first came in,” Sue said getting more comfortable.

  Wanda smiled. “Oh, just men in general, and one in particular. The usual,” she answered playfully.

  “Oh, them. Yeah, the famous line, can't live with them, can't shoot them is what we say,” Charlie said. She offed a laugh as Wanda smacked her in the face with a pillow. Even the Queen laughed at that.

  “Is he still having commitment issues?” Sue asked. Deidra shrugged. Sue looked thoughtful. “Hmmm well, if it's not because you're pressuring him...” she looked at the mother and daughter with a warning eye. “Then perhaps it is something else. We do marry much later in our culture so it may be a cultural riff...”

  “How much later?” Zara asked.

  “Well, in western societies... that is the most advanced nations I mean...” She shrugged as the royals waved to indicate they got the idea. “We have no need to marry young. Most marriages happen when both are adults. See, we know from extensive medical studies that the brains of people are still forming with their bodies. Their personalities are... flexible.” She bent her fingers back and forth.

  “But if a person is exposed to trauma, or is forced to grow up too fast... they tend to break or freeze at that level. They become brittle or child like. So in modern societies the cultural thing is to let both parties grow and mature. Let them experience life, have some adventures, educate themselves, and start their career paths. Once they have their wild oats sown, then they have a desire to settle down and raise a family,” Sue explained.