Feeling Some Type of Way

by Vera Roberts

  He was about to go down on me. I was nervous, terrified, and excited at the same time. I shook my head as my mind tried to find words to come out. “N-n-n-no.”

  “Do you want me to?” He asked.

  Why was that even a question? The answer was naturally a, ‘Hell, yeah!’ I knew it was Ian’s MO. He wanted my permission before he proceeded with anything that night or forever.

  I began to think back on everything he’d done over the last couple of years. Every time, he did something only with my permission. If though he was older and more experienced, he respected my boundaries. It was kinda hot when I thought about it.

  “Yes,” I managed to say the word.

  “Relax,” he ordered and I tried to comply. I never had a man go down on me and I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Was it going to hurt? Was it going to feel wonderful? What should I expect?

  Ian climbed on top of me and I naturally wrapped my legs around his waist. He swept his lips over mine before he parted them with his tongue, deepening the kiss. It was different from the last kiss we had a couple of years ago. This was an exchange of power between us; me letting go and Ian taking control.

  I was ready for everything – his lifestyle, being his woman, and a life with Ian. I didn’t want to think about forever now. Instead, I wanted to experience the moment between us and silently relish in the feel of him.

  He slid down my body and kissed every part along the way. His tongue and mouth circled my nipples before trailing down to my navel. Heat rose in my belly and I panted as I anticipated what was going to happen next.

  Ian parted my legs and I felt the soft stubble of his beard against my inner thighs. His hands curled underneath my thighs and I felt his warm breath directly on my slick heat. His tongue parted my opening and I gasped in pleasure. His tongue was everything. It was tenderly rough, flat and fat, long and pointy.

  My hands fisted the sheets beneath as Ian tasted me. His tongue was slow and deliberate at first, experimenting with me and seeing if I was comfortable with him. His tongue dove in deeper into my opening before dragged it back up around my nub, flicking over it and lightly sucking on it.

  Now the soft mewls became moans. I was on pleasure overload as his tongue assaulted my sex with every stroke. My body began to thrust upward, needing more of his tongue and becoming impatient he didn’t give me what I wanted.

  “Ian…” I moaned, licking my lips and squeezing my breasts and pinching the taut nipples as I rode his tongue. I felt like I was another plane, climbing higher into the sky as I ventured into a wave of ecstasy.

  Heat built within me and my voice morphed into breathy moans. I rested my feet on his shoulders as the fire rose inside of me. Ian placed his mouth on my swollen nub, sucked on it, and I swore I levitated off the bed.

  My legs trembled with each lick and kiss and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. I was on the edge, ready to fall over and trying hard to keep my balance. I was so close, so excruciating close, and I tried to keep my orgasm at bay.

  Ian pretty much said fuck your balance and with a few more swipes of his tongue, and I came hard and fast against Ian’s mouth as he held me down. I went into shock as my head spun, my legs convulsed, and tiny beads of sweat formed along my body.

  I was left breathless, shaking, and completely incoherent to form any thoughts. I had a feeling sex with Ian was breathtaking but I didn’t realize how close to reality it would be. Two orgasms in one night? I barely recovered from the first one before he delivered the second one. I think I’m good for the night.

  Ian climbed up to my face and pressed his warm body against mine as he laid on top of me. I felt his long, thick shaft poking at my entrance but he refused to enter for now. Instead, he caressed my face and softly kissed my lips. I tasted myself on him but I wasn’t daunted by it. Somehow, it made me more aroused. “How are you feeling, baby?”

  I felt ready for more but I also felt apprehensive. I knew he would take his time and lead the way, showing me new things and letting me explore everything. But I also took stock at how big his dick was and to say I wasn’t daunted by it would be a gross understatement. Forget him piercing my hymen; I was afraid he was going to lacerate my uterus.

  Emotionally wise, I felt on top of the world. The man I loved, waited for, was finally mine. It felt like a dream come true in so many ways.

  “I’m feeling great,” I finally answered him. My hands raked up and down his back as we slowly rocked from side to side. “How are you feeling?”

  “I feel wonderful,” he moaned, “I’m here with the love of my life and she’s naked underneath me. I say that’s a great night.”

  “Love of your life, huh?” I tried not to sound like a smart-ass bitch during a moment of intimacy. Did he know I was the love his love before tonight or was seeing my cheeks claps in front of an audience that sealed the deal?

  “I waited to see if you could live your life without me. Being your own woman without my approval or guidance. Tonight you me showed you could.” He replied.

  I didn’t know what to think about what he said. It sounded like a backhanded compliment. “Had I not done amateur night…?” My voice trailed off.

  “You would’ve showed me in another form.” He sounded confident in me. “It wasn’t you taking off your clothing that impressed me, Domi. I knew what you had underneath was spectacular. It was what you did with the money you earned. You could’ve wasted it on bullshit. Instead, you gave it to the other dancers. You showed your selflessness and I found that sexier than any provocative dance I saw tonight.”

  Ian paid close attention to everything I did, even when I thought he didn’t care. Even when I was mad at him, and gave two shits to the wind about him, Ian still looked after me. I hadn’t felt warmth like that in a long time.

  What he said gave me the encouragement to continue. I knew he wanted to go at my pace and take it slow, but we’ve been taking it slow for two years. There was no point in extending it any further. “I’m ready now,” I nodded.

  “Are you sure?” He asked. “We don’t have to do it tonight.”

  “I want to,” I pulled him closer to me, “I’ve waited my entire life for this moment, Ian, and I’ve waited for you. I don’t want to wait any longer.”

  Ian nodded. “It’s going to be painful. In fact, this will probably be the most physically painful experience you’ll ever have up until this point. But after tonight, it’ll be easier and more pleasurable. And then you’ll see what all of the hype is about.” He swept his lips against mine again and readjusted his position. “Are you sure you want this?”

  I’d never been more sure of anything in my entire life. It wasn’t enough to feel Ian’s body pressed against mine; I needed to feel him inside of me. “Yes,” I nodded.

  He kissed me one last time before he sat back on his heels and spread my thighs wide. He stroked his shaft with my essence before he entered me, hitting the soft roughness of my hymen before he broke through.

  Good Lord, that shit fucking hurt!

  I blinked back tears and bit my lip as the pain hit every nerve in my body. It was excruciating. It seemed like it went on forever. The deeper Ian went, the more painful it became.

  I waited my entire life for…this?

  Ian read my mind and laid on top of me, kissing my neck and whispering how beautiful I was. He slowly eased in and out, kissing my neck and softly moaning in my ear. I tightly clutched around his shaft, pulling him in more, and honestly, it didn’t feel any better. Every movement felt more painful than the last and I honestly felt like I was being split open. “Ian,” my voice trembled with agony, “please, I can’t.”

  He nodded and eased himself out of me. He laid beside me and kissed my forehead as he covered us up with his expensive sheets. “You did great, baby.”

  It honestly didn’t feel like I did great. I felt like I spectacularly failed this test. I know they say the first time ain’t the greatest but damn, I didn’t think I would feel my insi
des being ripped apart. They say it was going to get better. Well, they can kiss the blackest part of my ass. “Okay,” I nodded.

  Ian turned towards me and caressed my cheek. His eyes softened to a sky blue and sparkled in the moonlight. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can take our time with all of this. I don’t want you to feel pressure you have to do something in order to please me.”

  “Thank you.” I paused before I spoke again. “Maybe in a few hours we can try again? And just take it slow?”

  He smiled at me and reassuringly nodded. “Anything you want.”

  “Ian?” My throat became lodged with weary and nervousness. What I’m about to reveal to him, I had never revealed to anyone before. I just hope I don’t regret anything about it.

  “Yes, Domi?”

  I took a deep breath and went for it. Life was too precious to wait. “I feel a certain way about you that’s deeper than just I like you, you know? And I just want to let you know that I feel that strongly. I like you a lot more than I’d expressed to you.” Wow, I can’t even say I love you right. How does he put up with me?

  Ian smiled and kissed me again. “I love you, too.”

  Seven

  The shrieking sound of my cell phone woke me up before the sunlight did. Only one person would call me this early in the morning and I already knew who it was.

  Michelle.

  My eyes shot open as I looked at her number on my screen. Helen told her what happened and Michelle probably anxiously waited by her phone for the night to get details, only for them to never come. I’m sure at seven o’clock in the morning, she wanted answers as to why I never came home last night.

  “Hello,” I answered the phone and braced for her berating. I knew if I didn’t answer the phone, she was going to keep calling or contact the police. Knowing Ian’s high profile, that was a disaster waiting to happen.

  “Are you okay?” She asked. She sounded genuinely concerned.

  “Yes, I am. I’m fine.” I glanced over to Ian. He was sleeping peacefully in bed. He looked like an angel.

  “You spent the night with him?” She asked.

  “Yes, I did make sure I ordered the right dress for your wedding,” I checked to see if Ian heard the conversation and he didn’t. Thank God.

  “You lost it to him?” She asked.

  “I don’t know how many people RSVP’d to the wedding rehearsal,” I replied as I felt Ian’s hands snake around my waist, “I guess we could discuss this later.”

  “I sincerely hope you’re not in love with him, Sister.” She warned.

  “I don’t know if you should be concerned about the weather because there’s nothing you could do about that.” I replied. Michelle was working my good nerve at seven in the morning.

  “He’s an asshole, Sister.” Michelle stated. “I don’t know him but I know his type. He’ll use and abuse you. He will eventually show you he cares more about his money and wealth than he does with your feelings. That’s how all rich pompous asshole types work.”

  “I know you’re now a bit of an expert in this subject matter but I’m sure you can still be surprised by information you’ll learn along the way.” I replied. “Like I said, we’ll discuss this later over tea?”

  “Call me when you get home! We’re not finished.”

  “I will. I love you, too.” I hung up and tucked the phone underneath my pillow. I love how protective my girls are but damnit, let me make a mistake on my own in peace!

  “Are you in trouble?” Ian kissed my neck.

  I lingered in his kiss. All night I felt his lips touch every part of my body and it still felt like a new experience every time. Though I was too scared to try again during the night, I hoped maybe once the pain subsided, it’ll be better later. “Maybe.” I pressed against him, wanting to feel more. “I’m sorry we woke you.”

  “I was sleeping off and on,” he admitted, “I was more concerned about you and your well-being.”

  “I’m fine. I just thought everything was going to be so different and it isn’t.”

  “I don’t follow you.”

  I turned to face him. I was surprised to see his eyes were wide-awake and staring right back at me. He didn’t look like someone who didn’t have a good night’s rest but someone who was very coherent in where he was. “I thought it was going to be this magical experience. I thought it was going to be I lost it and then I became this entirely different person. I don’t know. It’s not a dig on you because you were great. You were gentle and everything I could ever want. It’s just I thought it was going to be like all of the trashy smut books I’ve read. I thought it was going to be like that.”

  Ian blinked a few times and held me by a piece of string. I could tell he was formulating thoughts in his head because he deliberately chose the right words. “But it was magical,” he replied, “everything changed between us last night. We’re no longer friends. When we’re out together, you will no longer be known as my assistant. You’ll be known as my woman, my love. You’re going to be treated differently. Some will kiss your ass to get closer to me. Some will hate you because they hate our family. It won’t be an easy ride but I’ll teach you along the way.” He caressed my cheek again and smiled. “My only concern is that you’re safe and happy. I don’t care about anything else.”

  Ian was right; last night was magical in so many other ways that I overlooked. I was ready for anything now. “All I want is to be happy and with you.”

  Ian swept his lips across mine again before he quickly pulled away. “Breakfast first.” He got up and I watched in delight seeing his muscular nude physique walk to his closet. I stretched out in bed and relaxed. I’m officially a billionaire’s girlfriend. I will be treated like semi-royalty.

  I guess no more strip clubs and hanging out in In-N-Out with my friends. Well, no, that’s not true. I can’t see giving up Animal Style fries and Helen with her craziness. I still love shopping at the mall and I think some of the Melrose shops are overrated and overpriced as all shit.

  However, I’ll be hobnobbing with the A-listers, wearing more designer gowns by people whose names I can’t pronounce, and eating caviar, pretending that I’ve always liked fish eggs.

  Insanity is the only word that comes to mind.

  ~~~~~

  Ian was an amazingly great cook. He made the best scrambled eggs mixed in with a little bit of lobster and capers. We had mimosas and sat on the balcony, overlooking Los Angeles. He told me about life in England and how they visit every few months to see family and check on businesses there.

  He mentioned how much he wanted to take me and urged me to get my passport soon. I told him how excited I was for Adrienne’s wedding and I couldn’t wait to see my sister get married.

  We fell into a rhythm already and even the banter was different between us. We didn’t talk like I was his assistant and he was inquiring about my life just because (not like he did that, anyway). The air was different between us. There was a love and familiarity with each other that came through like we were always together.

  I loved this man more than anything. So why couldn’t I say it?

  “Your mind is going a mile a minute,” he observed.

  I let out the breath I didn’t know I held and turned to him. Damn, he somehow became more gorgeous overnight. How was that even possible? “Michelle doesn’t like you and I have to wonder is there a reason for it?”

  Ian shrugged. “I represent something Michelle has seen throughout her life – pompous, arrogant, rich asshole.” It was as if Ian knew how he was perceived and accepted it without a second thought. “She was raised in an environment that isn’t so far-fetched with wealthy families – if I give you a ton of money, get out of my face, and stay out of trouble. Feelings are ignored because the money is so loud.” Ian paused and his eyes became saddened. He probably thought of his own family after his mother died or close friends of his. He shook the feeling away and continued. “So it’s understandable she doesn’t l
ike to see you in the same predicament.”

  “Well, am I?” I asked. There’s no point in beating around the bush. If I have to be silenced, it’s best to let me go now.

  Ian kissed my hand and shook his head. “No. Never. If I wanted silent and compliant, I would’ve stuck with the women I’ve dated before. I want someone to put me in my place and tell me when I’m wrong.” He looked over at me and I felt a swell of emotion rise in my body, becoming lodged in my throat. “I only want you.”

  I felt my body shiver. The way Ian declared his love for me with a gaze so intense almost made me cry. I never had anyone be so sure of me and what they want. I just only hope I can rise to his expectations. “I only want you, Ian.”

  “So,” he played with my fingertips with his, “did you want to go back inside and try again?”