Anything for Her Family

by Sharon De Vita

  Glancing across the dinner table at her now, he realized that she was exactly the kind of woman he’d always thought a wife and a mother should be. The thought shook him all the way to his boots.

  Wife.

  Where had that come from? he wondered grimly. He hadn’t even thought the word, much less said it, in over three years. He couldn’t afford to even be thinking along those lines, he realized, shifting his gaze to the boys.

  He couldn’t afford to be foolish, couldn’t afford to ever take a chance on another woman.

  For their sake.

  As it was, the boys were growing attached to Natalie, more so than he’d ever believed possible. But then again, they’d never been exposed to a nanny this long before, simply because none had even made it this far.

  But Natalie had.

  His gaze shifted back to her, and he watched her engage in animated conversation with Timmy, all the while keeping an eye on Terry, who was trying to shovel another piece of pizza—whole—into his mouth. Jared bit back a grin.

  Without taking her attention off of Timmy or their conversation, she effortlessly retrieved Terry’s pizza, cut it into bite-size pieces, then slid his plate back to him.

  Jared didn’t know why, but her actions both annoyed and impressed the hell out of him.

  He blew out a breath. He needed some time alone, some time to get his thoughts and feelings in perspective. Some time away from Natalie.

  He pushed back from the table and stood up. “Sorry to eat and run, but I’ve got to go check on that new Hereford bull. He was a bit too antsy for my tastes this afternoon.”

  “Jared?” Natalie’s voice stopped him midstep, and reluctantly, he turned to her, wanting only to escape from the kitchen, and his own thoughts about her, as quickly as possible.

  “Would you mind if I walked out with you?” She glanced at Tommy. “Could you keep an eye on the twins until I get back? I need to talk to Jared about something.”

  “Happy to, lass,” Tommy said with a smile. “It’s not often I get the full attention of these two handsome, strapping lads all to myself.” He turned to the boys. “How about if Grandpop gives you your baths?”

  “Yeah!” they caroled in unison.

  “Granpop lets us splash all we want.” Terry scrambled down from the chair, nearly toppling it in the process.

  “Yeah, and he doesn’t care if we get the floor wet,” Timmy added.

  “Well, I do,” Natalie admonished with a laugh, as she reached for her jacket off the peg near the back door. “And Ruth may not take a bath with you,” she added for good measure, seeing the gleam in Terry’s eye.

  She followed Jared out into the darkness, shutting the back door softly behind her, then slipping her arms into her jacket. Saying nothing, Jared walked beside her, pausing to help her with her jacket. His fingers brushed against the silky softness of the hair at her nape and he felt the jolt of yearning, of longing all the way through his system. He yanked his fingers back as if he’d been burned.

  Annoyed at himself, he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and continued walking, trying to turn his thoughts to something—anything—else.

  “Nights are getting cooler.” He glanced up at the sky, which was midnight blue, with a few twinkling stars. He wanted to look anywhere but at her. “Pretty soon fall will be well under way.” He wasn’t much for small talk, but at the moment, he was as nervous as a fifteen-year-old on his first date. Natalie made him feel that way—clumsy, tonguetied and just a little bit desperate.

  “It’s so beautiful out here,” she commented, glancing at the sky as well. “So different from Chicago.” She shivered in spite of her jacket. “By this time in October, it would have turned almost bitterly cold, with high winds and driving rains.” She shivered again just thinking about it. “I think I much prefer the weather in Nevada.”

  “You do?” He made the mistake of looking down at her. She was gazing up at him, and with her face bathed in starlight, he could see how beautiful she was.

  Her mouth, that luscious mouth he’d thought about so many, many times, was far too intriguing. The ache in his belly grew, then slid lower, causing him to turn away from her without a word and keep walking.

  “Have I done something to upset you?” she asked quietly, surprising him.

  He turned back to her, his look concerned. “Of course not. Why on earth would you think that?”

  She shrugged, but kept walking, trying to keep her pace even with his. “I’m not sure. You’ve just seemed a bit cool the past week or so.”

  He didn’t trust himself to look at her, fearing he’d reach out and touch her, something he knew he couldn’t allow. No matter how much he wanted it—craved it. “No, I’m just very busy and preoccupied, worried about a lot of things.”

  “And are the boys one of those things?” she asked softly, glancing at him again.

  Surprised, he paused once more, wondering why he’d never noticed just how small and fragile she was.

  “No,” he said with a breath of relief. “The boys are not one of the things I’m worried about.” He managed a smile. “At least I haven’t worried about them since I hired you.” He hesitated, then flipped the collar of her jacket down, giving in to temptation and letting his fingers linger there, feeling the roughness of the denim against his fingertips, wishing instead it was the softness of her skin. “You’ve done a wonderful job with them, Natalie. I’ve never seen them take to someone, especially a woman, so quickly. You have a definite talent with children and I’m sorry I haven’t taken the time to tell you that before.”

  Pleased, she smiled up at him. “Thanks, but they are a joy, and I love being with them every day.” She hesitated, licked her lips, then went on. “You know, Jared, you’ve done a remarkable job with them, single parent or not. The boys haven’t lacked for anything.” He had given them a very solid foundation, and for that, she would always be grateful.

  “Thanks.” He knew he couldn’t keep looking at her face, that mouth that was too close, too inviting. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” He wanted to get this over with. Being with her was just too hard on him. He didn’t trust the way she made him feel, the things she made him want, need.

  “Yes, Halloween is in a few weeks, and I was wondering if it would be all right if the boys had a Halloween party and invited all their friends over.”

  He frowned a bit. This wasn’t something she had to ask him while they were alone; she could have asked him in the house. “Of course,” he said, slightly confused. “I’m sure they’d love it. But are you sure you can handle even more kids? Seems to me the twins would be more than enough for any woman.”

  She laughed. “Well, they are, but Timmy’s having a bit of a problem in school—”

  “What kind of a problem?” Jared asked, instantly alert.

  She reached up and placed her hands on his chest in comfort. “Oh, Jared, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you.” She could feel the rapid beating of his heart beneath her palms, and instantly felt contrite for worrying him. “It’s nothing serious, I assure you. But Timmy’s just having a bit of trouble right now. I went to school yesterday to see his teacher.”

  “And?” Worry crept into his voice.

  Natalie sighed. “And apparently Timmy’s been having some difficulty with his spelling. I’ve been working with him after school, and he’s learned the whole alphabet, but he’s apparently having trouble printing letters.” She glanced up at Jared with a smile, then froze. She hadn’t realized how close they were standing to each other, hadn’t realized her hands were on his chest, and that his had somehow slipped to her waist.

  Natalie’s heart started to pound, and she felt her throat go dry. Being this close to him made her so vividly aware of him that she wasn’t certain she could continue. With great effort, she tried to gather her thoughts. “Anyway, he’s printing some of his letters backward.”

  “Backward?” Jared asked in confusion. “But isn’t that pretty nor
mal for a little kid?”

  “Sometimes,” she said carefully. “But that’s not the main problem.” She licked her lips again, then shivered as the wind kicked up, chilly and brisk, cutting through her leggings and T-shirt. Jared’s hands instinctively tightened around her, drawing her closer to his warmth.

  “What is the main problem?”

  “Some of the other kids are making fun of him, giving him a hard time about the problems he’s having. I guess last week the teacher called on him to write a word on the board, and he printed some letters backward so the kids couldn’t read it.”

  Shaking his head, Jared sighed. “Some things never change. Kids can be horrible to one another, can’t they?”

  “Definitely.” Looking into his eyes played havoc with her system, so she lowered her gaze to stare at the buttons on his shirt. “So I thought maybe if the boys had a party—”

  “And invited the kids who are making fun of Timmy, it might smooth the way for him a bit?”

  Her gaze shot to his in surprise, and she laughed. The sound drifted through the quiet night air. “How did you know?”

  Everything inside of him warmed and his heart turned over. Her caring for his sons touched him in a way nothing had in a long, long time, and he couldn’t prevent the feelings that moved over him like a steamroller, flattening every warning.

  “Oh, Natalie.” Instinct took over as well as need, and he drew her against him for a hug. He was surprised she was so light, so delicate. She fit perfectly, her head resting right under his chin as if she were made for him. “I knew because my mother did the same thing for my brother Josh when we were kids.” He drew back and glanced down at her. “Of course, Jake and I wanted to handle it our own way.”

  Lifting her head from the safety and comfort of his chest, realizing she was enjoying their closeness, she asked, “Let me guess. With your fists?”

  “You got it,” he admitted with a grin. “You pick on one Ryan, you’ll end up taking on them all.”

  “Well, Jared, I’m not exactly experienced with my fists, so I thought a Halloween party might do the trick.”

  “It might,” he admitted, still smiling. Their eyes met and held. Unable to resist, Jared lifted a hand to her cheek. “Natalie…” His voice was a whisper in the darkness, touching her heart, filling it with longing. “I don’t know how to tell you—what to say—to explain how much you’ve come to mean to…the boys.” He didn’t want to talk; he simply wanted to kiss her, to press his lips to hers, to hold her softness against him to ease this aching need tearing through him.

  Nestling her face against the warmth and tenderness of his hand, Natalie allowed her eyes to close, let herself enjoy for just this one, brief moment the luxury of Jared’s touch.

  Until this moment, she hadn’t realized how much she’d wanted Jared to touch her, how much she needed to feel him close.

  Jared Ryan had touched her on levels she’d never believed possible, had never experienced before, certainly not with a man.

  She’d never felt this kind of connection with anyone until now. It was foreign, frightening, and yet exciting.

  “Nat?”

  Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him. Emotions thickened the air between them, and for a moment they merely stared into each other’s eyes, wanting, needing, yearning.

  “Nat.” Her name came out a soft groan before Jared gave in to the urge and slowly lowered his mouth to hers. He saw her eyes widen, felt her hands clench into fists on his jacket as she realized his intent.

  For an instant, he saw fear in her eyes, and almost stopped, but then his lips touched hers.

  It was like coming home.

  A riot of feelings and needs erupted, nearly knocking the breath from him. She tasted of magic and moonlight and a bevy of mysterious things he’d denied himself for so very, very long.

  And he only knew that he wanted—needed—more.

  Tightening his arms around her, he drew her even closer to him, until her softness was pressed the full length of his aching body. His mouth slowly, gently seduced hers, feasting on what he had only imagined, dreamed about until now.

  The dream didn’t come close to the pleasure of this reality.

  He groaned when her arms tightened around his neck, her fingers sliding into his hair. Her touch set off sparks of fire, making him press his body closer to hers, wanting, needing to quench the flames of desire that had been building since the moment he’d laid eyes on her.

  His hands ached with the need to touch more of her, to feel the soft roundness of her breasts, the tightened peak of her nipple. He groaned again, pulling her closer until she was on tiptoe, clinging to him, returning all the passion that poured out of him.

  Natalie clung to Jared, feeling as if the world had tilted and she would fall off if she didn’t hold on to him. She’d never experienced this kind of breath-stealing, gut-wrenching passion before. Had never known that one kiss, one embrace could send her world spinning off its axis.

  She wanted more.

  The thought screamed through her, making her arch against him, wanting to ease the ache she felt in every inch of her being. Making her want Jared in a way she’d never wanted another man.

  When she felt his fingers slide through her hair, angling her head for better purchase, she made no protest, merely snuggled closer to his warmth, his hardness, wanting only to be nearer to him.

  Being in Jared’s arms was like coming home, she thought hazily. They fit together perfectly—like two puzzle pieces that had finally found their rightful place.

  Luxuriating in Jared’s arms, in the feelings he’d evoked, Natalie realized how dangerous these emotions were, how dangerous the situation was.

  She couldn’t allow herself to be swept away like this. If she did, it might affect her her sons.

  Reality hit her like a bucket of cold water, and she moaned softly, in sorrow and regret, before slowly drawing back from him. Weak-kneed, she let her head drop against his chest for a moment, trying to get her breath, unfog her brain.

  He simply held her close, his hands stroking her back, letting her know he was there, holding her, comforting her.

  Oh, how she wanted to simply give in and accept what he was offering. She’d come to know him well enough to know Jared was not a man who trifled with feelings—not his or anyone else’s.

  He was solid, dependable. The kind of man any woman—well, any woman in her right mind—would want.

  Except her.

  Natalie couldn’t want him.

  She knew that, but at the moment, she was having trouble accepting it.

  “You okay?” he asked softly, his hands still stroking her back. She was trembling against him, and he wasn’t certain if it was from passion or the cold.

  “Yeah.” Natalie blew out a breath and took a step back, knowing if she didn’t right now she might not be able to. The comfort of Jared’s arms was far too tempting.

  “Should I apologize?”

  It was the first time she’d ever sensed even a chink in his confidence, and it touched her deeply.

  “No, Jared.” She looked at him, saw the darkness of desire in his eyes, and felt more remorse than she’d ever felt in her life. Men like Jared Ryan were rare; she’d never come across anyone like him before, and under any other circumstances, she could easily fall in love with him. The thought terrified her. “Don’t apologize. Don’t be sorry.” She didn’t think she could handle that. Even though she knew she couldn’t allow this to continue, or to go any further, she truly wasn’t sorry it had happened.

  She had wondered what it would be like to kiss Jared.

  Now she knew.

  And that knowledge would have to be enough, for it was all she would ever have, she thought sadly, looking up into his beautiful eyes.

  “Nat.” He touched her cheek again. He’d heard the pain in her voice, the uncertainty, and knew that he should regret kissing her, should apologize. but he didn’t regret it, and in fact, wanted to do it again.


  “I’d better go in.” She drew back from him, pulling her jacket tighter. Somehow the night seemed colder and darker.

  Jared dropped his arms from her waist. “Good night, Nat.” He wanted to touch her, to kiss her again, to hold her in his arms until the sadness in her eyes was replaced by something far more suitable to her.

  “Night.” She turned and headed back toward the house, knowing he was watching her, feeling the warmth of his gaze on her back. She was sorely tempted to turn, race back to him and throw herself into his arms, but she didn’t, couldn’t.

  But she did turn to look at him one last time before she slipped inside. One last glance that made her heart ache.

  Chapter Four

  “Well, Lassie, looks to me like you’ve had quite a time of it.” Tommy Ryan stood in doorway of the living room with an amused smile on his face. Grinning, he started across the room toward her, leaning heavily on his elegant, hand carved cane.

  In spite of a bad hip, at eighty, Tommy Ryan still had the large, powerful build of the boxer he had once been, a build that had intimidated more than its fair share of stout men over the years.

  Age and infirmary had not stooped his frame, but merely slowly his gait. His hair, which had once been a thick, mane of coal in his youth, was now a thick shock of white framing his face like an elegant halo. His skin was a rich, deep tan, lined with the experience and memories of his long life.

  His mouth was full and firm and more often than not curved into a grin, as if he had a secret he wasn’t quite ready to share with the world yet. His blue eyes, the color of the deepest sapphires still twinkled with mischief most of the time, giving him the appearance of a slightly naughty, oversized leprechaun.

  There was an air of power and authority radiating from him, the kind that only very successful men possess.

  He was a man who’d been blessed with more luck than any man deserved, more money then he could ever hope to spend, and a family he adored more than life itself.

  But interspersed in the joys of his life had been sorrow. A deep, aching sorrow that no amount of joy could erase.