The Complete Idiot's Guide to Werewolves

by Brown Robert

  Silver: Old Faithful

  For those who are uneducated in such matters, the silver bullet has long been considered the sole method for killing a werewolf. Of course, most of us have probably wondered the same thing at least once—if this is true, then how did people kill werewolves before the invention of firearms? The truth is that any weapon, such as a sword, stake, or dagger, made from pure silver should be effective against a werewolf. According to most legends, only by using pure silver will your weapons have the proper effect. A blade that is only partially made from silver may not be as effective (and is not really the kind of thing one would want to gamble on). The older werewolf lore claims that silver is magical, symbolic of purity, or a blessed/sacred element. Most modern lore suggests that silver, for whatever reason, prevents the werewolf’s wounds from regenerating until the weapons are removed. So take a mental note. If you are lucky enough to put down a werewolf, don’t pull the blades out (at the very least, don’t do so until you have properly disposed of it). One of lycanthropy’s strongest gifts is the ability to regenerate very quickly. If a weapon is removed from a wound prematurely, then (depending on the severity of the wound) the werewolf could recover in a matter of seconds.

  The Savage Truth

  The most recent manifestation of silver’s role in werewolf lore is believed to have originated with the “lycans” from the Underworld films. In these films, lycans who have been too mortally wounded by silver weapons cannot regenerate until the weapons are removed. If they are not removed in time, the lycan dies. The werewolf-slaying “death-dealers” from the same films create bullets of “liquid silver” that enter the target’s bloodstream, making them especially fatal to lycans. In these films, this specially designed ammunition prevents the lycans from being able to remove the projectiles in order to regenerate.

  Of course, you may not be too keen on the idea of going toe-to-toe with a beast that is so very significantly larger, stronger, and faster than you. If so, then you might want to invest in some silver bullets. Unless you already own a specific firearm in which you plan to use them, it would be prudent to have several different types of silver rounds made in the most commonly used calibers—.38, 9mm, and .45 calibers, for example. This way, you are more likely to have rounds that will fire from whatever assorted firearm that “just so happens” to come into your possession.

  The Savage Truth

  The use of a silver bullet as a weapon against werewolves first appeared in the 1760s, with the lore surrounding the well-documented case of the Beast of Gevaudan. One story claims that a local clergyman eventually killed the beast with a silver bullet. Another version claims that specially made silver bullet was blessed, by either a priest or a sorcerer, and given to a skilled hunter who took the beast down. For more details on this case, see Chapter 8.

  Though its use has never been mentioned in werewolf lore, it would stand to reason that silver buckshot fired from a heavy-gauge shotgun would also be effective. Since shotguns spray a multitude of shot pellets at your target, less experience, training, and accuracy is required. Shotguns are “point-and-click” weapons, so to speak.

  Despite silver’s effectiveness in antiwerewolf ammunition, it is important to take note of something. In film, silver bullets are often portrayed as a “one hit = kill” weapon. Most accepted werewolf lore does not support this idea. Just hitting the werewolf with a silver bullet will not do the trick. A vital organ must be damaged enough in order for the werewolf’s other body functions to shut down. The heart and the head would be the best targets for this. Hitting a werewolf in a nonlethal area such as the leg might be enough to slow the beast down, but it’s unlikely to kill it.

  The Quicksilver Dilemma

  Nearly all of werewolf lore is in agreement that silver is effective for antiwerewolf weaponry. When it comes to mercury, however, this is not the case. This point of conflict seems to stem from an uncertainty as to how this idea originated. You see, in centuries past, mercury was referred to as “quicksilver” and was considered to be the same as silver, only in a liquid form. Since silver was effective, this may have led to the mistaken conclusion that mercury would be as well. Since there has never been a single documented case (in werewolf lore or otherwise) of mercury being successfully used to combat werewolves, you might not want to rely on this one.

  Mercury isn’t exactly the best material for weaponization. Of course, it can be combined with silver. However, since most information supports the idea that pure silver should be used, it might not be a good idea to rely on a weapon made from a combination of it and mercury.

  On the flip side of this debate, some argue that it could be that quicksilver/mercury was actually used first. Since it was thought to be a liquid form of silver, this school of thought reasons, it was assumed that silver was also effective. However, this idea seems far less likely.

  Aren’t Wooden Stakes for Vampires?

  Most people are familiar with the belief that a stake through the heart is the best way to kill a vampire. According to some lore, however, this can also be an effective weapon against werewolves. In contrast to the vampire method, however, very specific wood types are supposed to be used. Most lore seems to agree on wood from only three tree types—ash, cinder, and (of course) silver trees.

  Unlike with silver weapons, the wooden stake method requires that the werewolf’s heart be thoroughly pierced. Similar to methods involving silver weapons, the stake should not be removed … ever. As with mercury, not everyone agrees that this method would work. In all honesty, it’s not your best bet for survival. Piercing a werewolf through the heart with a wooden stake would require the wielder to be way too close to the werewolf. In such a close-quarters scenario, it is far more likely that you would be mauled, killed, or worse … infected with lycanthropy.

  Nature’s Werewolf Repellent—Wolf’s Bane

  There is one thing you need to be perfectly clear on when it comes to the use of this poisonous herb. Wolf’s bane does not kill werewolves. However, it is known to be lethal if ingested by regular wolves. If anything, the lore surrounding the use of wolf’s bane states that it only works as a deterrent. Think of it as a kind of “werewolf repellent.” If you have to get close to the beast, having some of this on your person might be a good idea. Having wolf’s bane on a necklace, for example, might keep you from being bitten long enough to deal the werewolf a debilitating blow.

  Once again, not all werewolf lore agrees on the effectiveness of wolf’s bane, even as a deterrent. So as usual, you might bring it, but you probably shouldn’t rely on it too heavily for protection. Remember, most of this stuff about what works against a werewolf is hypothetical.

  Keep Growling and I’ll Chop It Off!

  There are many who agree that werewolves can be taken down by conventional means. However, because of their amazingly fast regenerative powers, such means require quite a bit more work. According to this method, either the werewolf’s heart or brain (or both, if possible) must be removed from the body or destroyed. Missing one or both of these organs, it is believed that the lycanthrope’s legendary power to regenerate will be shut down. The werewolf’s regeneration, it is believed, requires at least a minimal function of the brain or heart (or both) in order to remain active. Though there exists some older werewolf lore claiming that, even without a brain or heart, almost any dead werewolf will regenerate if left under the light of a full moon. Though this sounds rather unlikely, it’s up to you whether you feel like gambling on it.

  The simplest method for cutting off the werewolf’s brain from its body is decapitation. It is almost universally agreed upon that a werewolf does not have the ability to regenerate a severed head. Even if you have incapacitated the werewolf by other means, most lore strongly suggests that you immediately chop off the head and cut out the heart as a precautionary measure against possible regeneration.

  There are some other body parts that are said to bring down a werewolf if severed, though one should note that most of the
se are somewhat less likely or credible. For example, one myth states that chopping off a werewolf’s penis will destroy it (which once again proves that the wolf-man does, in fact, have nards). Most men would probably agree that this would bring down anyone. However, this method might leave one wondering what one should do if the werewolf is female?

  Magical Antilycanthropy Weapons

  In times past, there were several “magical” methods for combating and/ or detaining a werewolf. These methods may sound rather difficult to believe. However, you should consider whether these claims are any more or less believable than the idea of a human being transforming into a gigantic wolf-creature.

  Possible magical or alchemical methods against werewolves include the following:

  • Rubbing opium into the nostrils (must be done before it transforms, according to most instructions).

  • Forcing the werewolf to drink a mixture of whey and milk for three days (good luck with that!).

  • According to some, werewolves won’t come near ash, cinder, silver, or mistletoe—climbing up any of these trees will offer (temporary) protection.

  • Forcing the werewolf to drink saltwater (once again, good luck and Godspeed if you are going to attempt this).

  Disposing of the Werewolf

  Okay, so you were (hopefully) lucky enough to survive your encounter unscathed and uninfected, and your werewolf is finally down for the count. Your work isn’t quite done, however. Now you must take measures to ensure that the fallen lycanthrope doesn’t get back up. In most cases, it has been reported that a mortally wounded werewolf returns to human form once regeneration has ceased. The werewolf appears to be dead. However, werewolves are nothing if not resilient.

  Bark vs. Bite

  The antiwerewolf methods that are discussed in this chapter are purely hypothetical, and all of the information provided in this chapter is intended for purposes of entertainment only. Please use your head and be realistic. Harming another human being, even one you may (for whatever reason) suspect of lycanthropy, will result in very real and serious consequences. Remember … this is all in good fun.

  If the downed werewolf has not already been decapitated, this should be done immediately. The heart should also be removed. Once these measures have been taken, quickly gather up as much wood as you can and pile it high. Incineration is the only known method for ensuring that the werewolf will not “cease to be deceased,” if you will. Burn the remains, including the head and heart, to ashes. Some sources say that the head and heart should be burned first. Others claim that the body should be the first thing tossed into the flames. Both sequences, however, agree that all of the remains should be incinerated. Any remaining bones should be buried. According to some lore, it is said that these bones should be buried in separate places. (This probably falls into the category of a “just in case” measure.)

  The Least You Need to Know

  • Silver is considered the most effective material for constructing antiwerewolf weaponry.

  • Never pull a weapon from a downed werewolf, as they are known to regenerate very quickly.

  • Wolf’s bane will not kill a werewolf, but it will supposedly keep one at bay.

  • Removing and destroying a werewolf’s heart and/or brain should take it down.

  • Incineration is considered the only proper method of werewolf remains disposal, and any remaining bones should be buried.

  • The information in this chapter is meant to be taken in fun. Do not let your imagination get out of hand. There’s nothing fun about endangering the safety and well-being of others or yourself.

  Chapter 17

  Explanations for Werewolf Phenomenon

  In This Chapter

  • Hypertrichosis and its possible relationship to lycanthropic sightings

  • Ergot poisoning and the werewolf phenomenon

  • A closer look at porphyria and its possible connection to lycanthropy lore

  • How rabies infections may have had a hand in ancient and medieval werewolf lore

  • The possibility that werewolf sightings resulted from overwhelming bouts of hysteria

  • An examination of the possibility that werewolves may be a species of humanoid cryptids

  Do werewolves actually exist? There are many who insist that they do not. Since the Age of Reason, beliefs in creatures such as the werewolf have increasingly been dismissed as ludicrous impossibilities. Many believe that lycanthropy is nothing more than an extreme state of self-delusion, brought on by mental illness or some neurological defect. Others claim that ancient werewolf sightings were nothing more than superstitious explanations for unusual medical conditions. Perhaps these sightings were hallucinations, caused by a well-documented fungus from which LSD was first derived.

  To cryptozoologists, however, it is thought that the werewolf might be some form of unidentified primate or humanoid. After all, it’s often said that many human myths were originally based on some forgotten (but real) event. Is that the case with werewolves? Or does this ancient phenomenon have a rational explanation?

  Hypertrichosis

  Hypertrichosis is one of the rarest skin disorders in existence. It is a condition in which long, fine hairs grow on a person’s body far beyond what is normal for the affected individual’s age, sex, and ethnicity. There are two basic forms of hypertrichosis—general and localized. For those with generalized hypertrichosis, hair grows all over the body. With localized hypertrichosis, thick patches of hair may grow only in certain places on the body (such as the forehead or neck). The condition can be congenital, which means present at birth, or acquired, occurring later in life (most often during puberty). There have only ever been 50 recorded cases of hypertrichosis in the entire world. However, only the known occurrences can be recorded. The first recorded cases of hypertrichosis date all the way back to the Middle Ages, but the condition has probably been around since the dawn of humankind.

  Congenital hypertrichosis is believed to be the result of a rare genetic abnormality. When humans are in the womb, a coat of long, light-colored hairs (called lanugo hairs) covers the entire fetus. This hair is normally shed by the fetus sometime around the eighth month in the womb and is replaced by smaller, finer hairs (called vellus hairs, more commonly referred to as “peach fuzz”). The lanugo hairs that are shed from the scalp are replaced with what are called terminal hairs. Babies who are born with congenital hypertrichosis, however, usually come out of the womb with lanugo hairs covering their entire bodies. For whatever reason, the genetic trigger that causes most fetuses to shed their lanugo hairs for vellus hairs either does not activate or simply does not exist in those who have congenital hypertrichosis.

  The Curse

  When one considers the story of King Lycoan from Chapter 3, it is possible to speculate about the truth that may have spawned the myth. For example, King Lycoan may have been suffering from acquired hypertrichosis. In the superstitious view of the ancient world, something as strange as a king’s body suddenly becoming covered with a thick coat of hair could have been seen as a curse from the gods. Lycoan’s flight from Arcadia could possibly be a metaphor for his expulsion from the city, likely by the priests of a temple devoted to Zeus (hence that god’s role in the myth).

  Acquired hypertrichosis, which occurs later in life, is often seen by doctors as a warning sign that one or more malignant, cancerous tumors are present in a patient’s body. Sometimes, narcotics use or certain drug interactions can also trigger acquired hypertrichosis. Acquired hypertrichosis is usually localized and rarely causes thickened growth all over the body. However, it is not unheard of.

  Before the times of reason and the advancement of medical science, individuals with hypertrichosis were often the victims of social stigma and/or violent persecution. From ancient times through the Dark Ages, a child born with an unusual amount of hair on the body was considered a bad omen at best. In some cultures, it was even believed that such children were werewolves (or even a demonic offspring). S
adly, this often resulted in the immediate abandonment of the child or, even worse, infanticide.

  Ergot Poisoning

  Ergot is considered one of the most potent hallucinogens that grow in the natural world. In fact, it is from ergot that the drug we now call LSD was first extracted by the pharmaceutical industry. And, interestingly enough, human beings have only been aware of the true nature of ergot for the last century and a half. However, they’d already been eating it for ages.

  Beastly Words

  Ergot is a disease that affects certain grain-producing plants such as rye. It is caused by the claviceps purpurea fungus and is one of the most potent hallucinogens to grow naturally. Ergot may be indentified by its brown or purple sacks, called sclerotia, which envelop the affected grain.

  The ergot fungus can grow on any grain but is most common on rye. Before the 1850s, it had long been thought that the presence of ergot was just a normal part of rye grains. This was likely believed because its presence was so common. For hundreds of years, Europeans were ingesting ergot under the mistaken belief that it was a grain. (This would have resulted in widespread ergot poisoning across the continent.) In times of famine, people were even less likely to pick the ergot out of their grains (as a rare few are known to have done).