Loving a Rogue (How to Love Book 3)

by Marie Higgins

  “But first,” she pointed to the blanket, “get out of those wet clothes.”

  She moved back to the sofa and reclined, resting her foot on the armrest again. She turned slightly toward the cushions so she wouldn’t see him strip down. But although she couldn’t see, she heard, and in her mind, imagined. That was not a good thing.

  Waiting for him to undress was making her anxious. Without looking at the fire, she could tell it was getting low again. Hopefully, he had the strength to break the wooden chair apart, because she doubted she could do it.

  His puffing sounded ragged and she could tell he was shivering. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m almost done, but... we’ll need more fire.”

  “I know. There should be an ax somewhere around this place. I’ll go look for it. I’m sure you’re in no condition to do that.”

  “True, but... neither are you. And if you go outside to find it, you’ll end up just like me – cold as a glacier with only a blanket as my protection to warm me.”

  “And,” she added, “with your teeth chattering.”

  He chuckled. “It’s that obvious?”

  “Indeed. I believe it’s echoing through the room.”

  He laughed harder. “I’m done now.”

  She turned and looked at him, sitting by the fire, looking all shriveled with his blanket. His clothes were draped over the chair.

  Sighing, she scanned the room, looking for something that might work for firewood. In the corner was a bookshelf, holding only four books. “Your Grace, what if—”

  “Cilla, please, I beg you, call me Gavin.”

  She nodded. “Gavin, would you be terribly upset if we used those books to help the fire?”

  He glanced at the bookcase. “Not at all. In fact, I might use the bookcase as well.”

  His body trembled as he moved toward the corner of the room. The blanket didn’t cover all of his legs, and from the calf down, they were bare... and very muscular. He had large feet, but then again, he was a tall man.

  Feeling ashamed for admiring his legs, she tried to look away, but it was impossible. The poor man shivered so badly as he gathered the books. The blanket slipped off one shoulder, and she could see part of his wide chest.

  Look away! And yet, she ignored the screams in her head and watched him in fascination as he took the books to the fireplace and threw them in one at a time. Soon, the fire grew, but more wood was needed.

  She moved off the couch and met him at the empty bookshelves. He met her stare. His face was pale and his lips were turning blue. Inwardly, she groaned. She couldn’t let him freeze to death.

  “Here, let me.” She lifted one of the shelves and carried it to the fire. Thankfully, the whole shelf fit inside the hearth. She turned back to him and pushed him toward the sofa. “Sit,” she instructed. Once he was on the cushion, she sat beside him, draping her blanket around both of them. “You’re looking like death,” she told him when he looked at her with skepticism in his gaze. “I’ll share my body heat, but just know, I’m only doing this to save your life.”

  He nodded furiously and cuddled beside her. After a few minutes, she knew he wasn’t getting warm enough, so she turned and wrapped her arms around him. He rested his head on her shoulder as she briskly rubbed her hands up and down his arms and back.

  The fire finally gave out more heat, and slowly, Gavin’s body stopped shaking. It was strange having him up against her like this, and yet at the same time, it was comforting. Of course, she reasoned that she felt this way because she was trying to keep him from turning into an icicle. For some reason, though, she didn’t want him to move. She was sharing her body heat with him, and it was making her warm, as well.

  Slowly, her eyes dropped with fatigue. Hearing his breathing lulled her and relaxed her. Soon, she closed her eyes and rested her head against his. Although this was improper, it definitely felt nice, and right now, she needed this as much as he did.

  “Cilla?” he whispered.

  She blinked awake, wondering how long she’d been asleep. But then the fire hadn’t gone down very much, so perhaps it had only been a few minutes. “Yes.”

  “Thank you.”

  Her heart softened from the genuine tone in his voice. “You’re welcome, Gavin.”

  “And thank you for calling me by my name.”

  She smiled but didn’t answer.

  From under the blankets, his hand shifted and slid around her waist. She sucked in a quick breath. What was he doing? Had he forgotten that she was only doing this to keep him warm? Perhaps he was too warm now because her body began to heat up quickly.

  “It takes a kind-hearted woman to try to save a man’s life.” He tilted his head back and looked into her eyes. “You, dear Priscilla Benson, are one very kind-hearted woman. I wouldn’t want to be trapped in this cottage during a raging storm with anyone else.”

  A lump formed in her throat, making it hard to swallow. “I appreciate the sentiment, but—”

  “I promise you this here and now. I will never break your heart again.”

  She narrowed her gaze on him. What exactly did he mean by that? She prayed he didn’t expect her to fall for his charm again, because that wasn’t going to happen. “I... I’m grateful for that.”

  His gaze dropped to her mouth, and her heart skipped a beat... or several. Her breaths suddenly quickened, and her insides trembled. She couldn’t - wouldn’t allow him to kiss her. He wasn’t foolish enough to think she’d allow that, was he?

  But just as she prepared herself to stop him, he lowered his head back on her shoulder and snuggled closer. He must be insane – or else she was. And yet, for the life of her, she didn’t want to pull away from the comfort their warm blankets and bodies had created.

  Perhaps she was ill and didn’t know it. That could be the only explanation for not wanting to leave their cocoon of warmth.

  It was a good thing nobody knew about this... And she’d make sure nobody ever found out.

  FIVE

  Gavin’s stiff body woke him from a pleasant dream, but when he realized he was still cuddled against Priscilla, he knew it hadn’t been a dream at all. A smile stretched his lips. He didn’t dare move for fear he’d wake her up. But the slow and steady beat of her heart, which he’d had the privilege of listening to all afternoon, told him she was still asleep.

  For someone who’d hated him so desperately, she’d softened quickly enough when she thought he was going to freeze to death. And to be quite honest, he’d thought the same. He couldn’t remember ever being that cold. However now... he couldn’t remember ever being this warm before, and the fire had nothing to do with it.

  He peeked toward the hearth. The fire was nearly out. He should add another shelf soon, and yet he didn’t want to move. Lying against Priscilla was too nice.

  A light moan rattled through her throat as she shifted on the couch. The movement brought him lying almost next to her, but now his head was closer to her chest. This wasn’t good at all. Being a former rakehell, familiar feelings of desire strummed through him, reminding him that he’d never gotten an opportunity to kiss her sweet lips... he knew without a doubt, they’d be heavenly.

  Slowly he lifted his head to see her pretty face. He’d always thought of her as pretty, but there was something different about her now which he couldn’t quite understand. Was it because she’d told him she didn’t want to have anything to do with him and he wasn’t used to rejection? But in the back of his mind, he knew that wasn’t the reason he found her so intriguing now.

  Asleep, Priscilla was very lovely. Her hair was dry now and hung around her shoulders, making her very desirable. He really shouldn’t be thinking this way about her. He didn’t want to start something he couldn’t end. And he had promised her he wouldn’t break her heart again.

  After he’d inherited the title of duke, his grandmother encouraged him to rebuild the family’s reputation after his father had destroyed it. No longer could Gavin act irresponsibly, but
he had taken on the task of making himself – and his family – look good in society’s eyes. And if he hurt Priscilla again, he’d never be able to forgive himself.

  Frowning, he sighed. Which of course meant that he couldn’t kiss her, and he especially couldn’t make her have feelings for him.

  She stirred and opened her eyes. They were hazed over with sleep, but she looked right at him. He held his breath, waiting for her to yell at him to get off her. But as the awkward seconds passed, all she could do was stare. Then something remarkable happened... She smiled.

  His heartbeat quickened. Why was she looking at him that way? And why had her gaze dropped to his mouth as her expression turned to one of passion?

  He swallowed hard and gritted his teeth. She must not be awake. That was the only explanation. And yet, the way she stared at his mouth made him wonder if she wanted him to kiss her. As hard as he fought the temptation, he just wasn’t the type of man to turn a woman down.

  Hesitantly, he leaned in. If she didn’t want a kiss, she would stop him at any moment. Instead, she closed her eyes and met his lips halfway. Startled, he sucked in a quick breath while she sighed heavily. It was not supposed to happen like this.

  Her fingers threaded through his hair, making him feel more relaxed, and yet, he was also inwardly jumping with excitement. She kissed him so tenderly, and just as he’d wondered before, her lips were very sweet. Fire burned inside of him, and he wanted to turn things up a notch, but he’d let her control the kiss to see what she wanted to do with it.

  By the way she kissed, it was obvious how inexperienced she was. Of course, this made him want to be her teacher. Would she be an eager student? However, the only way he was going to know was test the waters. As he shifted to get better access, his hand moved around her waist, bringing her closer.

  Slowly, he took control over the kiss, and thankfully, she allowed it. Soon, she began copying his actions. Excitement built up inside him until he couldn’t hold back any longer. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss. A tight moan escaped her throat, just as her body melted.

  Once again, warning bells chimed through his head, but he pushed them aside, convincing himself that she wouldn’t be kissing him so urgently if she didn’t want it, too. She must have been as curious as he was at first, but now he knew how much he enjoyed kissing this woman. It worried him that he didn’t want to stop, and even once they were back at the manor, he’d still want to sneak in kisses throughout the day. He prayed she’d oblige him with his craving.

  Another heady sigh tore from her as she ended the kiss and rolled her head away, closing her eyes. A satisfied smile was on her face now.

  Inwardly, he groaned. She is asleep! Would she remember kissing him when she awoke? And yet, how could she not especially after how passionate she’d been?

  This was so unfair!

  PRISCILLA AWOKE WHEN a cool breeze touched her face. The stiffness in her body let her know she was lying on something uncomfortable. As she came awake and opened her eyes, she remembered the cottage... and cuddling with Gavin.

  Frowning, she sighed, trying not to remember it that way. They were not cuddling, she was trying to keep him warm so he didn’t freeze to death. And yet, it was her that had felt all warm and tingly inside.

  Her mind flashed with an image of his face leaning up to kiss her...

  Her heart fluttered and she shook away the dream. Why had she dreamed of kissing him – passionately – and liking it? But then the dream wasn’t real and it never would be. She was not going to kiss him or get involved with him ever again.

  As she came alert, she noticed that Gavin was dressed and he was putting out the fire. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat up. She couldn’t hear the rain pelting the roof anymore, and from the window it appeared that a coach was outside...

  A coach?

  She gasped and jumped to her feet, realizing too late that she had sprained her ankle. Grimacing, she limped toward the window. “Gavin, is someone here?”

  “Yes, my dear Cilla. Grandmother sent the footman to find us.”

  He moved toward her and placed his hand on the lower part of her back. Warmth spread through her again, making her insides tremble.

  “How is your ankle feeling?”

  Why was his voice so deep. And pray, why was her heart beating faster as she stared into his dreamy green eyes? Perhaps her dream was still so real. But whatever the reason, she had to stop this infatuation immediately.

  “My ankle is still sore, but it’s better than earlier.”

  “Put your stockings and boots back on. The footman is waiting for us.”

  She snapped out of the trance his gaze had put her under and moved back to the sofa to do as he instructed. Thankfully, her boot went on a little easier this time. He knelt in front of the hearth, stirring the ashes.

  “I’m ready.”

  He moved toward her again, picking up one of the blankets. “It’s rather cool outside, so let us wrap this around your shoulders so you can keep warm.”

  As he pulled the blanket around her, she had to squeeze her eyes closed. Looking at him when he was this near made her imagine kissing him again. Frustrated with her inability to stop thinking that way, she breathed slowly and deeply, trying to get her mind to come awake. And if that didn’t help... she would be tempted to scream.

  “What is amiss, my lovely?” His finger tipped her chin and she looked at him. “Does your foot hurt that badly?”

  Her foot? Yes, she must blame her frustration on her ankle. “Yes. We should leave so I can get off my foot for the rest of the day. I pray your grandmother will understand.”

  “She will. She’s a very understanding woman.” He slid his arm around her, pulling her next to his side. “Let me assist you out to the coach.”

  Perhaps she shouldn’t let him. After all, she was becoming breathless with his arm around her. But she focused ahead of her and slowly walked toward the coach. The rain had indeed stopped, but the ground was so very muddy. The driver sat on top, holding the horse’s reins, looking straight ahead. The footman held the door open and reached a hand out to help her. With his and Gavin’s help, she made it into the coach.

  She sighed with relief, but then realized she still had to ride with Gavin all the way back to the manor – alone. As long as he sat on the other bench and left her alone, everything would be fine. But after he’d climbed in, he sat next to her. She grumbled in silence. What was wrong with him?

  The vehicle jerked into motion, bouncing her on the seat. She tried not to bump into Gavin, but it was impossible.

  “I shall explain everything to my grandmother,” he said after a few minutes of silence.

  Keeping her eyes ahead of her instead of on the caring man beside her, she nodded. “I appreciate that.”

  He covered her hand with his and squeezed gently. “And I’ll tell her not to work you too hard these next few days so that your ankle heals.”

  She glanced at their hands, silently willing him to remove his warm touch, but apparently, he wasn’t a mind reader. “I feel just awful spraining my foot on my second day of employment.”

  “Grandmother will understand that your horse was spooked and threw you off. I’m just grateful you weren’t harmed any worse.”

  “Yes. I’m grateful, as well.” She paused, not really wanting to confess the next part, but knowing she would appear heartless if she didn’t. “And I thank you for coming to my... rescue.”

  When he was silent, she dared to peek at him. He was looking at her with his amazing green eyes, and his smile caused flutters in her stomach.

  “Thank you. I know how hard it was for you to say that.”

  He had no idea! She forced a smile. “Yes, well... knowing how I felt about you, I’m just glad you didn’t decide to leave me there on the ground to teach me a lesson in humility.”

  He chuckled. “No. I could never do that. I’m not that kind of man.”

  She dropped her gaze to their hands again. Why
wasn’t he removing his hand? And pray, why wasn’t she pulling hers away?

  “I’m glad you wouldn’t have done that. Perhaps...” she peeked at him again. His gaze was also on their joined hands, “you are not the man I met eighteen months ago.”

  His gaze jumped up and met hers. “I can honestly say I’m not that man anymore.”

  The sweet, somber look on his face right now was addictive. She could stare at him all day. Thankfully, the coach came to a stop, jerking her out of her foolish thoughts.

  He lifted her hand to his mouth and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “I hope we have made amends with our past. I would really like us to be friends now.”

  His breath was warm, but his lips were oh, so soft – just like in her dream. Stop this insanity! “Yes. I believe we can be friends now.”

  He gave her a heart-tugging smile, turned and opened the coach’s door. Relief swept over her. Finally, they could both return to their normal lives. With any luck, he’d leave the manor soon so that she didn’t have to daydream about him any longer.

  SIX

  “My dear boy, do you know what this means?”

  Gavin stared at his grandmother as his throat tightened, threatening to choke him to death, he was sure. If freezing hadn’t killed him last night, her declaration would.

  “Gavin, think about this clearly.” The older woman’s face was laced with sympathy as her gaze silently pleaded for him to understand. “You were with an unmarried woman, alone, for several hours. Although nothing happened between you in that manner, the point still remains – you were alone with her. If my servants start any rumors, her name will be ruined, and I won’t be able to keep her as a companion. And Gavin, if you don’t marry her, the good name you’ve been trying to build for your family will be all for naught. Society will say you are just like your father, only caring about yourself and your own pleasures.”

  Grumbling, he turned away from his grandparent and marched to the window. Instead of looking out on the wet land, he closed his eyes and pressed his head against the window. Marriage? He wasn’t ready for that, and Priscilla definitely wasn’t ready. He was just barely getting her to like him again. If he proposed marriage now, she’d hate him.