Troy [Whitedell Pride: 12]

by Catherine Lievens

  Emery was putting clean clothes away in the dresser. He didn’t even look up at Troy. “It’s okay.”

  Troy sighed and sat on the bed. “It’s not okay. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

  Emery shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not the first man to snap at me.”

  “But I shouldn’t.” Troy was still scared to death that Emery would leave him if he didn’t behave well enough. He’d thought the fear would disappear after their mating, but it hadn’t. He’d been waiting for Emery to wake up and realize he’d made a mistake ever since that day. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  Emery shook his head and moved toward Troy. He cupped Troy’s face with both hands and tilted his face toward him. “Nothing. There’s nothing to make up for. You snapped, that’s all. It won’t be the last time it happens, and I’m going to snap at you too. It’s... normal, in a relationship. I guess.”

  Troy couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face. “You guess?”

  Emery chuckled and kissed Troy’s forehead before letting go of him. “It’s not like I’ve ever been in a real relationship before.”

  “You haven’t?” Troy was surprised, but then he didn’t know Emery very well yet. They had avoided talking about important things since their mating, preferring random what’s-your-favorite to deep discussions.

  “Nope.” Emery sat beside him. “I’m not a virgin or anything, but I used to move around a lot. It doesn’t help building a relationship.”

  Troy thought about the man he’d been going out with before he was kidnapped. It hadn’t been serious, but it could have become a solid relationship with time—but that was in the past now.

  “Look I know you’re over-thinking everything because you’re scared I’m going to leave you. I don’t want you to do that.”

  “But...”

  “I don’t want to fall in love with a fake you. I don’t want you to agree with me over everything, or to apologize for every single small stupid thing. I want to get to know the real you. I probably won’t like everything, but then I don’t think you’ll like everything about me either.”

  A wave of nausea hit Troy before he could answer. He ran to the bathroom, vaguely aware of Emery asking him if he was okay, and threw himself in front of the toilet. There wasn’t much left in his stomach anymore, so he mostly dry-heaved, but Emery had seen it.

  A soft hand pressed against Troy’s forehead. “Troy?”

  “‘M fine.”

  “What happened?”

  “I think I ate something bad.”

  Troy stood up. He ignored his shaky legs and turned to the sink. He splashed cold water on his face and did his best to look normal, but he wasn’t sure Emery was buying it.

  * * * *

  Emery wasn’t convinced by Troy’s words, but he knew he wasn’t going to get more out of him. If there was one thing he’d already learned in the few weeks they’d been living together, it was that Troy was reserved. He never talked about anything personal and kept his distance from everyone, including Emery.

  Not that Emery had thought they’d skip into the sunset and be happy ever after, but he hadn’t expected Troy to be so closed off with him either. It didn’t make knowing him better easy.

  “Come on, I’ll help you to the bed.”

  “I don’t need help.”

  “Sure, but I want to help. I like to help. Please?” Emery made his best puppy eyes and looked up at Troy.

  His mate didn’t look good. Troy was so pale his freckles stood out harshly. His hair was in disarray and his pupils were large. Emery was ready to bet that it wasn’t the first time Troy had puked that day, but he hadn’t said anything, of course.

  He grabbed his mate’s arm and tugged, hoping Troy would come without problems. He didn’t seem to be up for a fight at the moment, and Emery didn’t want to have to leave him alone in the bathroom.

  Troy grimaced but he didn’t protest. Emery guided him to the bed and flipped back the covers before helping Troy in. The fact that he wasn’t protesting worried Emery as much as it made him feel relieved. “I’m going to go get Jared.”

  “No!” Troy struggled to sit up. “I told you I’m fine, okay? I’m fine!”

  “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m just worried about you.”

  The fight seemed to abandon Troy and he sank into the pillows. “I know. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I know I’m pushing, I just... I worry. That’s all.”

  “It’s just a stomach bug. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

  Emery didn’t believe that for one second, but he nodded. “Of course.”

  “Why don’t you go downstairs? I’m going to sleep for a bit.”

  “I can sleep with you, if you want.”

  “No... no, it’s okay. You can go.”

  Emery felt more hurt than he would have thought at the rejection, even if he could understand it. Troy wasn’t used to having to rely on anyone, and he probably didn’t want Emery to see how sick he was. It didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, though, not when Emery felt like he should take care of his mate. His leopard wasn’t happy with Troy’s words either.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  Troy didn’t answer. He turned on his side and gave Emery his back. Emery sighed and left, forgetting about the shower he’d wanted to take. He could go over to the wing where the feline enforcers lived and take one at the gym there.

  “Emery! You’re the man I was looking for.”

  Emery groaned and let his head fall forward. The last thing he wanted at the moment was to talk with Keenan. Emery didn’t know how the man did it, but Keenan seemed to have a kind of radar that told him when something was off, and he never backed down. He was going to ask question after question, and Emery really didn’t know what he could tell him.

  “Yes?”

  “Do you know where Troy is? I looked in the library but Jayden told me he’d left an hour ago.”

  “Yeah, he’s in our room. Sleeping.”

  One of Keenan’s eyebrows arched. “It’s only eleven AM. Is he feeling all right?”

  Emery shrugged. “Stomach bug or something. Did you want something from him?”

  Keenan seemed to remember what he was there for. He looked through the pile of papers he had in his arms and came out with a small pink sticky note. “Someone called and asked about him.”

  “How is that possible?” Emery took the note, but there was nothing more than a phone number and a name on it. “Kay Morris?”

  “Yes. It looks like the man knew Troy before the labs.”

  “How did he know how to find him?”

  “He’s a cop, or at least that’s what he said.”

  “Dominic can’t be happy a cop found this place.”

  “He definitely isn’t, but it’s not like we’re hiding. All the members are registered and everything.”

  “That’s how he found Troy?”

  “Looks like it. He said he found out when Troy’s name popped up in one of his searches.”

  “You believe him?”

  Keenan shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I’m still going to give the man’s name to Isaiah, don’t worry.”

  Emery’s mind was twirling. He knew next to nothing about Troy, and the few things he did know all revolved around his life in the pride. If it was hard to have Troy open up about the last five months, it was next to impossible to have him talk about before. As far as Emery knew, this Kay could be Troy’s old lover, or even his husband.

  Was he the reason why Troy didn’t talk about his past? “I’ll give this to Troy, then.”

  “You do that. Oh, and if he’s sick, you’ll have to haul him on your shoulder and bring him to the infirmary. There’s no way he’ll go there on his own.”

  “Yeah, I already noticed that. I was thinking about telling Jared, but Troy wouldn’t like it.”

  Keenan waved and left. Emery hesitated. Should he go back to their ro
om now, or wait until Troy woke up? He shrugged. As much as he didn’t want to make Troy angry, the room was as much Emery’s as it was Troy’s.

  He turned around and walked back along the hallway. He stopped in front of the door and listened, but he heard nothing, so he slowly opened the door and peeked in, frowning when he realized Troy wasn’t on the bed where he’d left him.

  The bathroom door was slightly open, though, so Emery slid inside the bedroom and closed the door. He moved quietly along the wall and got closer, but even in the bathroom everything was silent.

  Emery pushed the door open and gasped. Troy was on the floor next to the toilet, unconscious.

  Emery didn’t know if his mate had fainted or hit his head, but he rushed to Troy’s side. He grabbed the washcloth that was on the floor next to Troy and wetted it again. He passed it against Troy forehead while he searched for a pulse with his other hand.

  “Please be okay. Please.”

  Emery sobbed when he felt the steady rhythm under his fingertips. “Troy? Can you hear me?”

  Troy groaned and turned his face toward Emery. “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I’m going to get Jared, okay?”

  Emery started standing up, but a hand on his wrist stopped him. “I’m fine. There’s no need to go.” Troy slowly sat up. His other hand was splayed over his stomach as if he were holding his guts together by sheer stubbornness.

  “You’re not fine, Troy. You have to let Jared check you.”

  “I don’t want to. I’m fine!”

  “You were out cold on the bathroom’s floor! What part of that looks fine to you?” Emery shook his wrist out of Troy’s hold.

  “Fine, maybe I’m not, but I still don’t want you to get Jared. I won’t let him check me anyway, so it’s no use.”

  “But I—”

  “I’ll lock the door as soon as you walk out of the room.”

  “I can call him.”

  “I won’t see him, damn it! Aren’t you supposed to put what I want before anything else?”

  Emery stumbled backward. “No,” he whispered. “I’m supposed to put your well-being before anything else, but you’re not letting me do it. You were scared I was going to reject you, but I can see that you’re the one rejecting me instead. I want nothing more than to help you, Troy, but I can’t if you don’t let me.”

  “Just... leave me alone. Please.”

  Emery did.

  * * * *

  Troy felt guilty, and it didn’t help with his stomach bug. He knew he’d treated Emery in a way he shouldn’t have. Emery seemed to want nothing more than to help Troy, but instead of accepting that help, Troy had pushed away the only person who was willingly trying to do something for him, and now Emery had been gone for the past two days.

  Troy wouldn’t have wanted anyone to treat him that way, and he was berating himself for doing it to someone else. However, opening up to someone he barely knew was harder than he’d thought. He’d thought the fact Emery was his mate would mean they wouldn’t have to work on things, that it would be easy and natural, but he’d obviously been wrong.

  To make everything even worse, Troy still wasn’t feeling well, and he hadn’t seen anyone since Emery had left. He didn’t even know where his mate was sleeping. Troy knew he could probably try to call him, but he didn’t feel like he deserved to know. Emery was doing the right thing by putting some distance between them before Troy really fucked it up.

  Troy hugged his knees to his chest and tried to bundle himself even more under the sheets. He’d barely left his bed since Emery had left. He wasn’t hungry, and just the thought of eating something made him want to throw up, so he hadn’t needed to face the pride, and more importantly, Emery. Someone was bound to notice he wasn’t eating sooner or later, but he would deal with that when it happened.

  Troy’s knees wouldn’t get all the way to his chest and he looked down. He couldn’t see much under the sheets, but he still glared at his stomach. Not only had the thing been all wonky for days, but now it was starting to get round. It didn’t make sense, since Troy hadn’t been eating, but he couldn’t deny that he’d put some weight on. Maybe he was just bloated. Not that it mattered, since no one was seeing him anyway.

  “Troy?”

  Troy’s head whipped toward the door. Why was Emery there? Had he finally decided to come by and take his things?

  “Yes?” Troy’s voice sounded more like a croak to him than a human voice. He hadn’t spoken in a few days, and he’d also been throwing up often, although that had stopped in the past day or so.

  “Can I come in?”

  Troy pushed the sheets away and stood up. He felt dizzy and unsteady on his feet, but he still managed to shuffle to the door and unlock it. He was already going back to the bed when a hand on his arm stopped him. He stayed right where he was, afraid of turning around and facing Emery, but Emery was having none of it.

  Emery lightly tugged on Troy’s arm, and Troy was too weak to even think of resisting. The gasp that escaped from Emery made Troy want to dive back into bed and hide.

  “What happened to you?”

  “Nothing.” Troy pulled on his arm and Emery let him go. He started to walk back to the bed but had to stop and lean against the wall halfway there. His head was spinning and the floor couldn’t seem to stop moving under Troy’s feet.

  Two soft hands on his waist startled him and he almost toppled over. He turned to look at Emery, and he didn’t like the look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  Emery snorted, but he still looked worried. “What’s wrong, he asks. Have you seen yourself in a mirror lately, Troy?”

  “Ah, no. I tried to avoid that, especially after you left.”

  Emery gently pushed Troy toward the bed, his hands never leaving Troy’s waist. “I’m sorry about that, I can’t tell you how much. I thought you needed a few days to get better, and since you didn’t seem to want my help...”

  “It’s okay. I’d have left too if I’d been in your place. Are you here to take your things?”

  “No. I’m here to check on you, and now that I did, you’re going to listen to me. You’re not better than before, you’re even worse.”

  “I stopped throwing up.”

  Emery helped Troy to sit down on the edge of the mattress and crouched in front of him, a hand on each of Troy’s knees. “That’s good, I guess, but you still look like shit.”

  “If that’s how you compliment people, I don’t even want to know how you insult them.”

  Emery chuckled and kissed Troy’s forehead. Troy closed his eyes, wondering if it was the last kiss they would share. He reached out to Emery, but Emery was already pushing him down and helping him to settle on the bed. Troy’s head hit the pillow and he let out a relieved sigh. Standing up wasn’t an easy thing for him to do.

  Emery pulled the sheets up to cover Troy, but before he could get all the way up his hands froze. Troy looked to see if something had happened and saw that Emery’s eyes were glued on his mid-section.

  Troy scowled and reached for the sheet but Emery kept it out of the way and he didn’t have the strength to sit up. “What’s... Troy?”

  Troy tried to turn on his side, but a hand on his distended stomach stopped him. He cringed and tried to move away anyway, but Emery didn’t let him. He put the sheet down just under Troy’s stomach and put his other hand next to the first one.

  “Troy, what’s happening? What’s this?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “But... you look...”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Emery pressed his lips together. “What is wrong with you? Why haven’t you called Jared?”

  “Don’t need him.”

  “The fuck you don’t! Look at you! You can barely stand up, no one has seen you for two days, you’re so pale you look like a ghost and you’ve lost weight!”

  “I don’t think I have. Your hands are on the proof I’ve gained weig
ht, not lost it.”

  Emery’s hands tensed on Troy’s stomach but Troy couldn’t tell if it was in disgust or in anger. Probably both. “This... this isn’t fat.”

  Troy shrugged.

  “Troy, it’s obvious something’s very wrong with you. I know you don’t want to see the docs, but I don’t think you have a choice anymore.”

  Emery’s warm hands left Troy’s skin and he felt oddly bereft. Emery didn’t leave, though. He stuck a hand in his pocket and took a cell phone out of it. His fingers flew on the small display before he put it to his ear.

  Troy wanted to sleep more than anything at the moment. He felt tired to the bones, nauseous and dizzy. He closed his eyes and reached out for Emery. He needed to feel his mate close, even if only for a while. “Don’t leave.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry. I’m sorry I even left you on your own for two days.”

  “I thought you’d decided I wasn’t worth the hassle. I’m sorry I talked to you like that.”

  A warm hand pressed on Troy’s cheek. “I’m sorry, too. I know you’ve had problems accepting everything, and our mating hasn’t helped you.”

  “It has. I’m glad you bit me.”

  “I’m glad I bit you too. We’ll work on it, okay? Once we know you’re okay, we’ll work on it and talk.”

  Troy nodded. He was drifting into a half-sleep, but he was scared to fall asleep. He was scared that if he did, he would wake up alone, that Emery would use the opportunity to leave.

  New voices arrived and Troy heard the door opening, but he didn’t want to open his eyes. He felt a hand grabbing his and he knew it had to be Emery, so he squeezed back and let himself drift off.

  * * * *

  Emery watched as Jared, Adrian and Noem worked on Troy. His hand was still squeezing Troy’s and he had no intentions of letting go, even if he could see it was making things a bit harder for the docs.

  “We have to take him to the infirmary,” Jared said. One of his hands was stroking the bulge in Troy’s stomach. “I don’t know what this is, and I can’t find out without doing an ultrasound.”